by Gina Wilkins
“Feel better?” he asked with a slight smile.
“I’m fine.”
“Sudden regrets?”
“Not regrets,” she corrected quietly. “Misgivings, perhaps.”
“About what?”
She shrugged and tried to speak lightly. “Oh, you know me. I thrive on worry.”
He didn’t look amused. “I don’t want to cause you anxiety.”
There was no way she could honestly promise him she had no anxiety where their relationship was concerned. But she could assure him that she was fully capable of handling her own problems—especially those she had brought onto herself. She smiled faintly. “I’m fine,” she repeated. “I just need to get home to Jeffrey.”
He didn’t look entirely satisfied, but he nodded. “I’ll take you home.”
As if sensing that she needed time to process what had happened between them, Scott kept the conversation breezy and impersonal during the hour-long drive to her house. He told her story after story of adventures he’d experienced during the past few years, often turning his humor against himself to make her laugh. It startled her that she did laugh more than once during the ride.
Scott didn’t mention their lovemaking again until they were standing outside her door. He cupped her face gently in his hands. “We’re going to have to talk about tonight, you know. We can’t keep pretending nothing happened.”
“I’m not pretending. I just need some time to decide exactly what did happen,” she admitted ruefully.
Scott’s smile was wry. “You’re going to dissect and analyze every moment we’ve spent together tonight, aren’t you, Counselor? You’ll probably list pros and cons and project every possible outcome—and go through an entire roll of antacids in the process.”
She couldn’t help smiling, though she felt her cheeks warm. “You’re probably right.”
“I’m getting to know you better than you thought, hmm?”
“Perhaps.” Did he know that she was in love with him? Did he care?
“Promise me one thing, Blair.”
“What?” she asked warily.
“Analyze it all you want—but don’t regret it. It was too special for regrets.”
“I won’t regret it,” she promised—and she meant it. She had made the decision earlier that she wanted to know what it was like to make love with Scott. She’d found out—it was heavenly. Even if heartache followed when he drifted on to another adventure, as she knew he would eventually, she could never regret knowing those feelings if only that one time.
“Good.” He kissed her lingeringly, tenderly. And then he drew back, his expression reluctant. “I suppose you’d better go in to your family.”
It warmed her to think she had a family waiting for her inside. After so many years on her own, it felt good to have people to care for, and who cared for her in return. Did Scott feel that way about the people who shared his home with him, or did he feel alone even when surrounded by those he referred to as his staff?
“You have a long drive ahead of you,” she said. “Be careful.”
His smile flashed in the soft porch lighting. “Driving home is hardly a dangerous activity.”
Compared to most of his pastimes, that was certainly true, Blair thought with a grimace. “Be careful, anyway.”
“You bet,” he replied carelessly. “Tell Jeff I’ll see him next weekend, if not before. And I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
She nodded. “Good night, Scott.”
“Good night, Blair. Sleep well.”
She wasn’t at all sure she could do that. She would probably lie awake and imagine what it would have been like to awaken in Scott’s arms.
*
AS HE HAD PROMISED, Scott called the next evening. He and Blair chatted for forty-five minutes without ever once referring to their lovemaking. He also talked with Jeffrey, asking about the boy’s day, telling him a couple of jokes and promising to see him the following weekend at his ranch.
He called again Monday evening and Tuesday evening. Both times he included Jeffrey in the calls, and Jeffrey thrived on the attention, telling Scott about school, making plans for the ranch visit. It wasn’t a miraculous transformation, but Blair could see several positive changes in her nephew’s attitude.
Several times she was tempted to warn Jeffrey not to get too attached to Scott, to remind him that Scott wasn’t a member of the family and that he owed them nothing, including his time. But she couldn’t bring herself to diminish the pleasure Jeffrey had found in this new friendship—and she had to admit to herself that she didn’t want to accept that Scott’s interest in them was only a fleeting whim. She sincerely hoped that she and Jeffrey weren’t both headed toward bitter disappointment.
Jeffrey pounced on the telephone when it rang just after dinner Thursday evening. “Hi, Scott!” he said, barely giving the caller time to identify himself. “Guess what—I got an A on my English test today. I’ve been making my Qs the way my teacher wants me to, and I studied and got all the answers right, so she gave me full credit.”
He grinned at whatever Scott said in reply. “Yeah, I worked the system. And I guess it felt pretty good.”
Jeffrey and Scott talked a few more minutes and then Jeffrey handed the phone to his aunt. “I’m going to play with Belle,” he said, heading for the doorway.
“Make time for a bath before bedtime,” she called after him, then lifted the phone to her ear. “Hello, Scott.”
“I have plenty of time for a bath before bedtime,” he murmured in her ear. “Want to come scrub my back?”
She swallowed, deliberately dispelling the erotic picture of Scott in a bathtub that sprang to mind. “I was talking to Jeffrey.”
“Oh, darn.”
“Did you only call to make lewd suggestions?” she asked, settling comfortably into a chair.
“Of course. Actually, I had this idea that involved a new rope, a set of chaps and a pair of spurs....”
“Forget it,” she said with a chuckle. “Chaps make my thighs look fat.”
“Who said you would be wearing the chaps? Or anything else, for that matter.”
“So how are Margaret and Carolyn?” she asked, changing the subject before it really got embarrassing.
“Chicken,” Scott grumbled.
“Have you noticed that you call me that a lot?”
“Yeah. It’s almost like an endearment, isn’t it?”
She sighed and shook her head, thinking that only Scott would believe that.
They talked for another half hour, the remainder of the conversation as light and flirtatious as the beginning. That was one of Scott’s charms, Blair mused when the call ended. He could make her blush and giggle like an infatuated teenager—something she had never really been. She had been so young when it became apparent that someone in her family had to be serious and responsible—and the task had seemed to fall on her. Now that she was a serious and responsible adult, it felt good to be silly and frivolous for a change.
Jeffrey was still smiling at bedtime. Freshly scrubbed and dressed in his PJs, he allowed her to kiss him good-night—a new habit they had adopted. “I’m going to ask Scott if he’ll teach me to ride a bull at his ranch,” he said, climbing into bed.
“I’m sure a horse would be more appropriate,” Blair remarked, smoothing the covers over her nephew and making a mental note to absolutely forbid Scott to even think about putting this child on a bull.
“Aw, Aunt Blair, how can I get in a rodeo if I don’t know how to ride a bull?”
“You’ll have plenty of time to learn that when you’re older.” And when she was dead, she added silently with grim humor, because over her dead body was the only way she would let Jeffrey ride one of those beasts.
He was so excited about the upcoming visit to Scott’s ranch. Blair had to admit she was looking forward to it herself, though she knew there would be no opportunity this time for her and Scott to be alone together. She knew she was headed for trouble when she fou
nd herself thinking with reckless optimism that there would be plenty of other opportunities for them to be alone.
Her fingers were crossed when she left Jeffrey’s room—an old, superstitious act that served no purpose except to divert her from her worry about the future.
*
THERE WAS a final parent-teacher conference at Jeffrey’s school Thursday evening before the summer break. Blair attended, of course, crossing her fingers that the conference would go well. Jeffrey’s teacher, Miss Greene, was a no-nonsense young woman who’d butted heads with Jeffrey more than once. She smiled smugly when Blair took a seat in the classroom while Jeffrey waited in the hallway. “Ms. Townsend,” the teacher said smoothly. “I’m so glad you could make it this evening.”
“I make it a point to be available for Jeffrey,” Blair reminded the teacher, a bit annoyed that the other woman had sounded surprised she was there. Blair hadn’t missed a school function in the entire six months Jeffrey had been with her.
“Of course. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that your nephew has improved significantly in both his schoolwork and his attitude during the past few weeks. I’m quite pleased with his progress.”
Blair smiled. “Thank you.”
Miss Greene gave a rather weary sigh in response. “I must admit it has been a difficult undertaking, but I’m happy to say my persistence is paying off.”
The teacher was obviously taking full credit for Jeffrey’s progress, Blair thought in exasperation. She seemed to have no concept of how hard Blair had worked with her nephew—or how much input Scott had had.
“It’s actually too bad school is almost over,” Ms. Greene added. “If I’d had a bit more time with Jeffrey, I’m sure I could have completely turned him around.”
“Thank you for all you’ve done, Miss Greene, but I’m sure my nephew and I will get along just fine in the future.”
“Yes, well, I’m certain you’re doing the best you can—considering that you’ve had no training to work with difficult children,” the woman replied with a touch of condescension that set Blair’s teeth on edge. She went on to show Blair Jeffrey’s most recent papers and then usher her out of the room with the excuse that she had parents waiting—as opposed to a mere aunt, her tone seemed to imply.
“Twit,” Blair muttered beneath her breath as she exited the classroom. No wonder Jeffrey had never bonded with his teacher. At least next term he would have someone new, and most of the teachers at Lander Elementary were very professional and friendly.
A giggle from behind her made her wince as she realized that her unflattering comment had been overheard. She was relieved to see that it was only Jeffrey who had heard her, even though she regretted her lack of restraint in front of him. “Do not repeat that.”
“No, ma’am,” he agreed, though he was still grinning.
“You will treat your teacher with respect during the remaining few days of the term, is that understood?”
“Yes, ma’am. I know how to work the system, remember?”
She sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You’re beginning to worry me, Jeffrey. You’re starting to sound too much like Scott.”
The comparison obviously delighted him. “Can we go home now?” he asked. “I want to play with Belle.”
Blair readily agreed.
Jeffrey was in an exceptionally good mood that evening, even though both of them were somewhat disappointed that Scott didn’t call. The good-night hug he gave her was impulsive but sincere. “One more day until we go to the ranch,” he announced happily when he pulled away.
The very intensity of his anticipation worried Blair. He was expecting too much from a mere visit to Scott’s ranch, she fretted. If anything went wrong, he would be so disappointed.
But Blair was unprepared for how very wrong things would go.
She was at her office when a call came in for her Friday afternoon. She recognized Carolyn Roberts’s voice immediately—and with a sense of foreboding. “What can I do for you?” she asked.
“I have a message for you, Blair. From Scott.”
Blair closed her eyes and rubbed her temple, somehow knowing what the message would be. “What is it?”
“He has been called out of the state for the weekend and won’t be back until the middle of next week. He said to tell you he regrets the timing, but he wanted me to assure you that you and your nephew are still welcome to visit the ranch tomorrow as you had planned. Margaret and I would love to welcome you, and Margaret will prepare a nice lunch for you and Jeffrey. Jake will be available to show you around and to give your nephew a riding lesson—you, too, if you would be interested, of course.”
Blair dreaded telling Jeffrey that Scott wasn’t going to be there. It was seeing Scott again that Jeffrey had so looked forward to, much more than simply touring the ranch. “Where is Scott?” she asked, hoping it was at least important business that had called him away.
“He, um, had a chance to go surfing with some friends in Hawaii. Apparently, the waves are unusually large or something—I’m afraid I don’t know much about surfing—and there’s an amateur competition that Scott and his friends want to enter. He left early this morning.”
Blair could tell from Carolyn’s tone that she knew it wasn’t a very strong excuse. After promising for more than a week to host Blair and Jeffrey at the ranch, Scott had taken off to go surfing with some friends. He hadn’t even called himself to explain.
Apparently growing uncomfortable with Blair’s silence, Carolyn cleared her throat. “So, can we expect you and Jeffrey to visit us in the morning?”
Her first impulse was to coolly decline. Blair had absolutely no interest in visiting the ranch now. But she could not refuse on Jeffrey’s account without talking to him first. He would be unhappy that Scott wouldn’t be there, but for all she knew, he might still like to see the ranch. It should be his decision, since the outing had been for his benefit all along.
As she courteously thanked Carolyn for calling—after all, it hadn’t been her fault that Scott had let them down—Blair disconnected the call. She didn’t look forward to telling Jeffrey the news. Once again an important man in his life had abandoned him without a goodbye to pursue his own frivolous interests—and left Blair to deal with the boy’s anger and disappointment.
She had foolishly allowed herself to believe that Scott was different from Kirk. From her father. She had begun to hope that his promises meant something. That he cared for Jeffrey...and maybe even for her. Finding out that she had been so very wrong about him was devastating.
She rubbed a hand across her face, discovering only then that her cheeks were damp. Was she crying for Jeffrey, or for herself? All she knew for certain at that moment was that Scott had shattered something very precious—a boy’s trust. Not to mention a woman’s heart, she added with a heavy sigh.
*
THE SCENE WITH Jeffrey was as painful as she had expected. He was terribly disappointed that Scott would not be spending the weekend with him. “But he promised,” he wailed.
“He didn’t actually promise, sweetie,” Blair replied, her heart aching for him. “He thought he would be there, but his plans changed unexpectedly. He still wants us to visit his ranch. His foreman, Jake, will give you a riding lesson. I’ve met him, he’s very nice. A real cowboy. And Margaret, the housekeeper, is a wonderful cook who has offered to make a special lunch for us.”
His lip protruding, Jeffrey shook his head. “I don’t want to go now. I don’t know any of those people. I wanted Scott to be there.”
“Yes, so did I, but he had other things to do this weekend. I’m sure he thought you would have a good time, anyway.”
“I won’t go,” Jeffrey insisted. “I would rather stay here with Belle. At least she doesn’t lie to me.”
He was furious, his small body trembling with it. Blair knew exactly how he felt—and she was tired of defending Scott when what he had done was so inconsiderate. “You know what, Jeffrey?” she said with sudden s
pirit. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Scott invited us to be his guests, and it was rude of him to abandon us this way. I’m as angry with him as you are. But you and I don’t need him to entertain us this weekend. We can find plenty of fun things to do without him.”
Mopping his face with the back of one hand, Jeffrey sniffled and looked at her. “Like what?”
“Anything you like. Roller-skating. Swimming. A movie or an arcade. Or we can go to another ranch and take a riding lesson together—there are plenty of other ranches and other cowboys who would be happy to teach us, I’m sure.”
Though his lip still trembled, Jeffrey seemed intrigued. “We can do anything I want?”
“Anything—except ride bulls,” she amended hastily.
He didn’t quite smile, but his expression lightened a bit. “That sounds like it might be sort of fun. Just me and you, I mean.”
“What would you like to do?”
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course. Let me know whenever you decide, in the morning if you like. I’ll call Carolyn and tell her we won’t be available tomorrow—if you’re sure that’s what you want me to do.”
He nodded. “I don’t want to go to Scott’s ranch now.”
“Then we won’t go. Now, wash your face and play with Belle while I make the call, and then I’ll start dinner.”
“Can we have macaroni and cheese?”
“If that’s what you want.”
He nodded. “It sounds pretty good.” He wandered out of the room, his little shoulders slumping.
Blair turned and slammed her fist into a sofa pillow.
*
BLAIR TUCKED JEFFREY into bed that night and bent to kiss his forehead. He was still subdued, but seemed to have gotten over the first crushing blow of disappointment. “Are you thinking about what you want to do tomorrow?” she asked.
He nodded against the pillow. “I still haven’t decided.”
She smoothed his hair. “There’s no rush.” She straightened then. “Good night, Jeffrey.”
“Aunt Blair?”
“What is it, sweetie?”
“I really wanted to see Scott tomorrow.”