by Gina Wilkins
“Arrogant cowboy.”
“Not arrogant. Desperate. I’ve waited a long time to find you. I can’t imagine living without you now.”
“It’s still so risky.”
His smile was the dimpled, endearing one that had made her fall in love with him at the auction. “What’s life without a little adventure?”
That was what worried her, of course. “What makes you think you’ll find enough adventure with me?” she whispered.
His smile warmed, deepened, sending a quiver through her. “I have no doubt that I will. I want to help you raise your nephew, Blair. To build a family with you. I can’t imagine a greater—or more terrifying—challenge than that.”
Her eyes filled suddenly with tears. Scott had just revealed a dream she had secretly harbored for a long time but had almost given up. A family of her own. Making that commitment with Scott would be the ultimate gesture of trust in him. Did she dare risk that much?
“Maybe it’s a little too soon to talk about that,” she said, her voice tremulous.
His low laugh was shaky. “You think this isn’t scaring me spitless? But it’s right, Blair. I know it.”
He was kneeling so close to her chair, looking at her through his lashes, bare shoulders gleaming so invitingly. Blair had resisted as long as she could. She was only human, after all.
“Convince me,” she murmured, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He pulled her right out of the chair and into his arms, rolling her beneath him on the carpeted floor. And then he swiftly transformed her startled laughter into blissful sighs of pleasure.
They eventually made it to the bed, leaving tangled piles of clothing scattered on the floor. Sated and exhausted, they lay draped across each other, their breathing slowly returning to normal. “All the adventure I could possibly want,” Scott murmured.
Blair’s euphoria faded a bit. “For now, perhaps,” she whispered.
“For always, Blair,” he said firmly.
She lifted her head. “How could you possibly know that? You’ve spent so many years chasing excitement, taking off at a moment’s notice, avoiding any ties or commitments. What makes you think you won’t regret giving that up to take on the day-to-day responsibility of raising a family?”
Scott stared at the ceiling, his expression suddenly pensive. “Did you ever wonder why I spent so many years living that way? Trying everything that came along, regardless of how crazy or how risky it seemed to everyone else?”
“I just assumed it was your way of rebelling against your unhappy childhood.”
He shook his head, still looking somewhere into the past rather than at her. “I was trying to cram as many experiences as possible into however many years I was given to live. It was my way of living for my little brother, who didn’t have a chance to have any adventures of his own, and for my parents, who died so young and so unfairly. I didn’t want to die with anything untried, anything untasted, and I didn’t want to leave anyone to grieve for me as I grieved for them. And I didn’t want to risk loving someone that much again and being in danger of losing so much again.”
He looked at her then, his expression wry, his tone self-deprecating. “I came to this self-awareness during the night I spent trying to get back to you from Hawaii. I kept asking myself why I’d done such a stupid thing, why I’d felt the need to run just when I’d found something so precious...and that was the conclusion I came to. Brilliant, huh? And so damned original.”
“I didn’t know you lost a brother,” she said, her heart breaking at the expression on his face.
“He was six. His name was Phillip. Cutest kid you ever saw, all dimples and freckles and giggles. He was riding in the back seat of my parents’ car when a drunk driver hit them head-on after crossing the median. My family never had a chance. They had dropped me off at a friend’s house for a birthday party ten minutes before they died.”
“You must have been devastated.”
“I was enraged. At the drunk, at fate—at my grandparents, who kept telling me I had to hold my chin up and get on with my life. I didn’t know why they couldn’t understand that my life ended the night my family died.”
“Survivor guilt,” she murmured.
“That’s what a string of child shrinks called it at the time. Of course, I told them what they could do with their pithy analyses.”
She rested a hand against his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was a long time ago,” he said, suddenly sounding a bit weary. “And I’ve been letting it control me for too long. I’m tired of running from the past, Blair. Tired of feeling sorry for myself—and guilty for being alive. I want to live my own life for a change, and make it mean something.”
“You think your life hasn’t had meaning?” She smiled tenderly at him. “You’re wrong, Scott. You are one of the kindest, most generous men I’ve ever met. You’ve given a home and a purpose to Carolyn and Margaret, who love living and working here. They’ve told me a great deal about you this weekend, while you’ve been spending so much time making my nephew happy. I know about the financial contributions you make to a great many charities. I know about the teenagers you hire during the summers, and the time you spend with them when you’re here. I know that you’re helping at least two of those boys with their college education, and that you’re looking into setting up a scholarship foundation for residents of Lost Springs. Yes, you’ve avoided personal ties, but there are so many people who depend on you. Who love you. And despite your wanderlust, you’ve never seriously let any of them down.”
Scott was frowning now. “Margaret and Carolyn told you that?”
“And Jake and his wife. And that sweet little man who cooks for your ranch hands, and the veterinarian who visited this morning while you took Jeffrey for a ride over the ranch in that cute two-seater airplane you keep here.”
“Damn,” he muttered, apparently uncomfortable that he’d been the topic of so many conversations.
Her smile deepened. “You needn’t worry. No one said anything against you. Everyone agreed that they worry about you, they sometimes want to hit you in the head and they wish you would be a bit more helpful making plans and schedules, but every one of them admires and respects you. Some of them even love you. And they don’t seem like people who give their respect foolishly.”
She had finally figured out that Scott was the one who thought of himself as unworthy and undependable, not those who cared about him. What had his embittered grandparents said to him that had made him feel that way? What had he said to himself?
As daring and reckless and charming and successful as he had become in the past twenty-odd years, there was still a very small part of him that was an angry, lost boy who needed to be loved. Who needed a home and a family to make him feel worthwhile. And she knew just the woman to give him those things. A woman who needed them every bit as badly for herself.
“I love you, Scott,” she murmured, leaning over to kiss him. “And, just as important, I trust you.”
His eyes gleamed bright in the shadows. “I’ve been waiting a long time to hear you say that.”
She couldn’t help laughing a little. “A long time? Hardly. We’ve only known each other a couple of months.”
He shook his head. “I’ve been waiting all my life for you,” he said simply.
That made her smile waver. “I know the feeling,” she murmured, and lowered her mouth to his again.
He put a hand behind her head to hold her to him, kissing her with renewed urgency. “Blair,” he said with a gasp when he finally drew back for air. “We can have the longest engagement in history if you want, but you’ve got to say you’ll marry me. Give me that much, at least.”
Funny how easy the decision was, after all. Especially considering how much she’d worried about this moment. “I’ll marry you. And, although I want to take our time and do this right, I don’t think it will be the longest engagement in history.”
Scott looked stunned for a mo
ment, and then elated. “That was a yes.”
“That was a yes,” she confirmed.
And then giggled when he rolled her beneath him and proceeded to show her exactly how much her answer had pleased him.
*
JEFFREY DID NOT want to leave the ranch Sunday afternoon, even though Blair reminded him that she had to work the next day, and he had been invited to a birthday party that he’d seemed interested in attending. He was on the verge of one of his infamous tantrums when Scott skillfully interceded, promising him that he could come back the very next weekend.
“And when your aunt and I get married, you’ll spend as much time here as you like, okay?”
That got his attention. He went still, his jaw dropping. Blair sighed. She and Scott had agreed not to announce their engagement immediately, until she’d had time to get used to the idea herself. She had known when he’d solemnly assured her he understood that he wouldn’t keep quiet about it for long.
Scott was still the fast-talking crazy man she’d tagged him the first day she met him. And she wouldn’t have him any other way.
“You guys are getting married?” Jeffrey demanded, looking from Blair to Scott and back again.
“We’re discussing it,” she replied, searching his expression for his reaction.
“You said I could ask her out,” Scott reminded Jeffrey with a grin.
“I just said you could date her,” the boy retorted.
“I tend to get carried away with things occasionally.”
Jeffrey snorted. “No kidding.”
“So...how do you feel about it?”
The boy tilted his head, considering the question. Blair held her breath.
“Am I still going to live with you?” he asked her.
“You have a home with me for as long as you want,” she answered firmly. “Nothing will ever change that.”
“I feel the same way, Jeff,” Scott seconded. “I think we make a great team, don’t you?”
Jeffrey scratched his chin and looked speculatively around the ranch. “Are we going to live here?”
“We’ll have to work out the details later,” Scott admitted. “Your aunt has a business in Lightning Creek to consider. We may have to spend part of our time there and part of our time here, something along those lines.”
“What about Belle?”
“Belle is part of the deal,” Scott assured him with a grin.
“It’s okay, then,” Jeffrey pronounced with a nod. “But do we have to go home now, Aunt Blair? Can’t you take tomorrow off?”
She rolled her eyes. So much for the grand reaction to her engagement. Jeffrey was taking up the argument exactly where he’d left off. “We have to go home now,” she replied. “And that’s the end of it. Belle’s going to be wondering where you are. I’m sure she likes staying with Aunt Wanda, but I’ll bet she really misses you.”
He sighed heavily. “All right. But this stinks. I wanted to ride Mercury again.”
“You’ll have plenty of time to ride Mercury later,” Scott replied, opening the back door of his Yukon and ushering Jeffrey inside. “After all, he’s your horse.”
“Mine?” the boy squeaked as Scott closed the door and headed for the driver’s seat. “Mercury’s mine?”
Scott climbed behind the wheel, winking at Blair, who’d just belted herself into the passenger seat. “That’s what I said. Mercury’s been needing a boy for a while. I went out and found him one. I thought it was very clever of me.”
“Oh, man.” Jeffrey sank back into the seat, looking dazed.
“You know, of course, that there’s a long list of conditions involved here.”
“There always are,” the boy replied dryly. “But it’s worth it. Thanks, Scott. I’ll take really good care of him.”
“You bet you will, or you’ll have me to answer to.”
Blair noticed that Jeffrey didn’t look notably worried.
Scott reached out and took her hand during the drive to her house, giving her a loving, wicked-edged smile. She wondered if it was possible to be any happier than she was at that moment.
And then she worried that maybe she was too happy. Wasn’t she just inviting disappointment by letting herself want so much?
Telling herself she was being both paranoid and pessimistic, she made herself stop thinking along those lines and simply enjoy the moment, her fingers curling around Scott’s as he and Jeffrey kept up a teasing give-and-take during the remainder of the drive.
She was afraid her fears had been justified when she, Scott and Jeffrey entered her aunt’s house a while later to find her brother, Kirk, waiting for them there. He stood and grinned at them, his handsome face creased with his usual careless smile. “Hi, Jeffrey,” he said, looking immediately toward his son. “Daddy’s home.”
*
SCOTT WAS WATCHING Blair when Jeffrey ran across the room and threw himself into his father’s arms. She looked devastated, he thought, beginning to scowl. And the expression on her face made him hook his thumbs in his belt, spread his boots and narrow his eyes. His first instinct was to protect. He turned to look at her brother, who was giving his son a casual hug.
Blair cleared her throat. “Scott, this is my brother, Kirk Townsend. Kirk, I’d like you to meet my fiancé, Scott McKay.”
“Fiancé?” Keeping his left arm loosely draped around Jeffrey’s shoulders, Kirk extended his right hand. “This is a surprise. Nice to meet you, Scott. I’m Blair’s shiftless older brother, as I’m sure she’s told you.”
“Not in so many words,” Scott answered smoothly. “But I have heard quite a bit about you.”
“Fiancé?” Wanda clapped her hands together, looking pleased. “When did this happen?”
“Yesterday,” Scott answered, smiling fondly at Blair’s aunt.
“That’s wonderful,” she said sincerely, kissing his cheek and then hugging and kissing her niece. “I’m so happy for both of you. I knew you made a good couple.”
Jeffrey pulled away from his father to scoop up his cat, who’d come running to greet him. “Dad, this is Belle. She’s mine.”
“Yeah? Cool.” Kirk turned to Blair then. “Looks like you’ve been taking real good care of him, sis. I appreciate it.”
Blair cleared her throat. “I’ve enjoyed having him. Um, how long are you in town for this time, Kirk?”
“I’ve got an opportunity lined up in Argentina. Chance of a lifetime, Blair. I think this one’s really going to pay off.”
She nodded, looking as though she’d heard that many times before. “I hope it works out for you.”
“I was going to stop by and give the kid some presents, make sure he’s okay before I take off again. But with you getting married and all...well, I guess you’ll be too busy for baby-sitting. So—how would you like to go to Argentina with me, boy?”
“Argentina?” Jeffrey bit his lip.
Scott drew a deep breath, thinking that this was it. The kid had been waiting a long time for a chance to take off with his dad. There was a good possibility that he would grab it while he could—even though it would break Blair’s heart.
But Jeffrey didn’t look as delighted as Scott might have expected. “Where would we live, Dad? Where would I go to school? Who would I stay with when you’re busy with other stuff?”
Kirk looked baffled. “I’m sure we can work something out,” he said vaguely. “I can always hire someone to help us out. And you’re a pretty big boy now, right? You don’t need a baby-sitter all the time.”
Blair made a muffled sound and started forward. Scott caught her wrist, thinking they should wait and let Jeffrey make this decision. He only hoped the boy would make the right one.
Jeffrey looked at the cat cradled in his arms. “What about Belle?”
“The cat? You probably better leave it here with Aunt Blair, son. That’s a long trip for a cat. But you can visit it, if you want, whenever we get back into the area to see Blair and Aunt Wanda.”
“I have a horse, D
ad. His name is Mercury. He lives on Scott’s ranch.”
Kirk chuckled. “Definitely the horse stays here. Maybe we’ll get you a pet in Argentina, okay? I know they’ve got dogs and cats and horses there.”
Jeffrey looked at Blair and Scott, who were watching him so quietly, Blair with a rather pleading expression on her face. “Dad?” he said in a small voice. “Would you mind too much if I stay here? I’m sort of settled here, and I think I might be in your way.”
What could only be described as regretful relief crossed Kirk’s face, but he didn’t speak immediately. He looked at Blair instead. “Uh, sis?”
“I would love to have Jeffrey stay here,” she answered quickly. Sincerely. “And so would Scott.”
Scott nodded, his eyes on the boy’s somber face. “Yeah. I’d like him to stay...if he wants to.”
“He has a good life here, Kirk,” Wanda chimed in. “He and Blair have gotten along wonderfully.”
Kirk turned to Jeffrey. “Sounds like you got a good thing here, Jeffrey. I’d love to take you with me, but I’ve got to think of your best interests...and it sounds like it might be better for you here.”
Jeffrey nodded. “Maybe I’ll go with you another time, okay, Dad?”
“You bet.” Kirk reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair with easy affection. “Some other time.”
Scott could almost see Blair relax. “Before you leave this time, I’d like you to sign some papers,” she murmured, choosing her words carefully.
Kirk studied her face. “Legal guardianship?”
At least he wasn’t as stupid as he was irresponsible, Scott couldn’t help thinking.
Blair nodded. “It would make things easier for me...and for Jeffrey.”
Kirk hesitated a moment, looking at his son, then shrugged. “You’re the lawyer, Blair. You do whatever you think is best for the boy.”
Blair reached out to take Scott’s hand, and he could feel the faintest tremor in her fingers. He thought of the expensive gesture she had made at the bachelor auction—the one that had brought him and Blair together. He thought of her constant worrying about her nephew, the way she had put Jeffrey’s needs before her own desires. And he thought of how much love she had given to the boy—and to him.