‘It was something I’d have preferred not to have seen.’
We walk on and I don’t know what else to say. Noah picks up a few pebbles and skims them at the sea, but his mind isn’t on it and I can tell that he’s deep in thought. I push shells into the sand with my toes.
When he turns back to me, he says, ‘What happens now?’
‘I’m coming to live down here,’ I tell him. ‘Ella and I were just talking it over. I’m going to give notice on my partnership at work. As soon as I can, I’m going to move in with Ella. I want to be here when she has the baby. I’m really looking forward to helping with her. When they are both settled, perhaps when the winter is through, then I can start to look for a job.’
He looks at me, stunned, as well he might. ‘You sound as if you’re OK with this.’
‘It’s not the terrible blow that I might have imagined,’ I admit. ‘I’m trying my best to accept it.’ I cast a sideways glance at Noah. ‘After all, I don’t feel entirely guilt free.’
‘You should. You’ve done nothing wrong. Quite the opposite,’ he insists. ‘You were prepared to give up your own happiness so as not to hurt Flick or Harry. Doesn’t seem to me that they’ve done the same for you.’
‘In some ways, I feel as if they’ve done me a favour. Does that sound stupid?’
‘I think it sounds as if you’re a very understanding person.’
‘I am trying to be.’ A sigh. ‘I don’t want to lose Flick. Whatever she’s done, I’d like her still in my life at the end of it all, if we can manage it. She’s my best friend. I love her dearly.’
Then I remember that Noah’s very firmly in the centre of this maelstrom too.
‘How are you about Flick?’
He still looks bemused. ‘It’s not what I expected, but I’m not sorry either. I was coming back to tell her that there wouldn’t be a wedding, that we couldn’t be a couple. I was fully prepared to have to ride off into the sunset and never see you again.’
‘You won’t have to do that now,’ I tease.
‘No.’ He exhales a long, shuddering breath.
We walk on along the beach together. It’s so peaceful and isolated that I can’t imagine tearing myself away even just to go back to London to close the files on my old life. I feel as if I should always have been here, that my life will start in earnest only when I am.
We reach an outcrop of rock, near to the place where we found Harry on the night of the storm. It all seems such a long time ago now. Noah sits down and I find a spot next to him.
‘I’ve been busy too,’ Noah says. ‘While your life has been crashing around you, I’ve been trying to sort out mine.’ I wait patiently until he starts to tell me what he’s been doing. ‘I went back to the surf shop and had a long talk with Callum.’
This is music to my ears.
‘We’ve agreed on a price for the shop,’ Noah says, breaking into a grin. ‘All I have to do is fix up the finance when I get back. Callum wants to go to Australia as soon as possible, so we’re trying to sort out a deal where I come down here and work alongside him until he goes. Then he can show me the ropes and, hopefully, the transition will be smooth.’
‘Oh, Noah,’ I say. ‘That’s fantastic news.’
‘I can hardly believe it,’ he admits. ‘It’s just like a dream come true.’
‘Maybe if I’m down here too, then I can help you.’
‘We’ll see,’ he says. ‘It would be great. But that’s not what I need from you, Grace. I don’t need you to fix me or help me out. I just want to be with you for who you are. I want to love you, that’s all.’
Hot tears prickle my eyes. Perhaps I no longer have to be the person who looks after everyone else. That woman is going to be hard to let go of, but I’m definitely going to give it a try. I slip my hand into his. It’s warm and comforting.
‘Do you want us to have a future together?’
‘Oh, yes,’ I say. ‘More than anything. I’m glad that we’ll be both starting out here, building a new life.’
‘It’s more than I could have hoped for,’ he says.
‘Me too.’
I move close to him. The breeze from the sea picks up and Noah folds me into his embrace, protectively.
Who knew that, when we agreed to come on this holiday to this little cottage by the sea, it would be anything more than a short break to recharge my jaded batteries? I never thought that I would watch my marriage unravel and fall deeply in love, probably for the very first time. Or that I would say goodbye to my old life and look forward to starting a brand-new one with Noah by my side.
He strokes my wayward curls from my face and, gently, tentatively, for the first time, his lips find mine. They’re warm and sweet, laced with the tang of sea salt. And they taste just as I’d imagined they would.
Acknowledgements
To Owen and Sharon, Craig and Hem, Ann and Ash, Dave and Sue and, of course, Lovely Kev – my companions on our holiday in a cottage by the sea. Always fun. Thank you for undertaking the more extreme parts of my research. I will never forget parking in the potatoes, Gully, the peregrine falcon, the puffin nuffin’ or, indeed, the shag.
A Cottage by the Sea Page 36