by Rayna Stone
“Hey guys, what’s in the bag?” Alexa threw a stick for Precious to get his snout out of that monstrosity before he jumped in himself.
Kelly turned sharply and held out a camel water pack. “We’re gearing up for the hike,” Kelly informed. “I have camel packs, energy bars, and trail mix to cover the food list. There’s a small first aid kit for minor injuries.” Kelly raised her voice and took on an authoritative air. “So nobody get into major trouble. I can’t tend serious wounds. Lily, don’t wander off and fall down a ravine, because that will really piss me off.” She assessed the group for a minute before she muttered something about putting Lily on a leash just in case. “And here we have our weaponry.”
That snapped Alexa to attention. “Weaponry?” She turned to Kat. “Are we going on some secret black-ops mission I was unaware of?”
Kelly rolled her eyes. “This is the wilderness. There are all sorts of animals out there that could attack at any moment, not to mention psychos just trolling the area looking for an easy kill. You have to be prepared. I have a slingshot and mace.” Kelly sounded so dejected that she didn’t have anything more lethal than what looked like a military-issued slingshot, the likes of which Alexa had never seen before. She thought they were just made from rubber bands and sticks. Apparently the engineering had vastly improved from her childhood days. “I wasn’t allowed to bring a gun.” Alexa was sure Kat had whispered “thank God” but was too busy trying to process Kelly’s paranoia to take much notice.
Lily skipped over and immediately zoomed in on the slingshot. “Oooh, I love these.” Before Kelly could slap her hand away, Lily had taken the device and was aiming at the trees. A moment later she released, and a bird’s nest dropped to the ground. Kat let out a cry and ran over to the nest, while Lily did a rather jaunty victory dance to the disapproving glare Kelly sent her way.
“It’s okay! There aren’t any birds in here! Lily, how could you?” Kat was furious as she stomped back.
“Oh relax, Kat. All the birds are already gone for the winter. I wouldn’t hurt an animal.” Lily looked like she was trying to soothe a child as she absently handed the slingshot back to Kelly.
“Just where did you learn how to use one of these? I still can’t get it to work right for me and I’ve had it a week.” Kelly looked downright pissed that she lacked the ability to win any awards with her new toy.
“Oh, I like unusual stuff like that. I’m also really good at fencing. State champ all four years in college. And renaissance weapons. We had a group that would build weapons of ancient warfare and practice with mock battles. I’m not bad with an axe, but I suck with a mace.” She shrugged her shoulder and gathered her things to get going. Alexa just shook her head. She prayed they had an uneventful day. Telling James and Ryan that Lily had to fight a bear all the while Kelly pouted over not being lethal and Kat danced around yelling about animal rights was not on her bucket list.
“Come on, guys. We’re just going to walk for about two miles north and then back. You’re supposed to look at the changing leaves and—” Alexa was cut off as Lily scampered off the path with a cry of delight. Kelly stomped after her, mumbling something about hobbles while Kat just giggled with her camel straw clenched between her teeth. Alexa grabbed her own straw and took a healthy swig, only to find out it was a margarita mixture. Heavy on the tequila. “Jesus.” She coughed a bit as Kat gamely whacked her on the back.
“Yeah, probably should have told you. Kelly doesn’t think she should have to endure nature without alcohol, so we’re all loaded down with tequila. It’ll make the sightseeing more fun though.” Kat took another slurp.
What the hell, it would make it more fun. Alexa took another gulp and watched as Kelly frog-marched a chastened Lily back onto the path. “So, can I ask you guys some, well, maybe intrusive questions?” Her face was bright red, but she really wanted to get their perspective on things, and she didn’t know how to bring it up.
Kelly smiled at her. “Oh, honey. Do we finally get to have the sex talk?” Kelly was obviously not having the same problem in the shyness department. It was a relief though, she wasn’t good at skirting around a topic and it didn’t seem like she needed to now.
Alexa practically inhaled her margarita as she shuffled along the path. “Well, I laughed when they tried to spank me, but I liked the floggers. I think I could really get into that. I wouldn’t suggest using peanut butter during a blowjob though.” She cringed. All three in her audience turned to her. “It kinda got stuck in my throat when I got a little overexcited to get to it. Maybe almost killed me,” she mumbled to their muffled laughter. “Anyway, that really wasn’t what I was going for. I was wondering how you guys handle keeping all this stuff separate from your normal life. I don’t have family to worry about, but I have a career. I know you don’t have to worry about the sex stuff, and neither do I, but what if they find out I’m with both James and Ryan? Or what if one of you gets outed for going to the club? Stuff like that. How do you guys handle that?”
Kelly looked at her like she was seeking some truth in the depths of Alexa’s soul. “It’s a problem for a lot of people in the community, honey. Not so much for us. I own my spa. You know Kat doesn’t have to worry, and Lily owns her jewelry shop. We’re protected by this town just as much as James and Ryan. Nobody’s going to touch Mac because he’s too influential in his business and with his wealth. And Jay, well, if they screw with him, he’ll just stop helping with cases and take up helping people who wouldn’t judge him like that.
“You’re the first in our group to really work in the vanilla world, honey. You will be judged. You need to be prepared for that. If the university finds out, you could lose your job, face personal attacks. Some people will support you, but a lot will say terrible things to you and about you. I really, really wish I could tell you none of that was a possibility, but I’m not going to lie to you. As much as I absolutely adore you with James and Ryan, you really need to think about this. If you can’t handle facing that, if you can’t stand by them or risk losing your job”—Kelly squeezed Alexa’s hand—“then it’s not fair to stay with them.
“I’m saying this because I’ve known them a long time and I know that they will stand by you. They’ll take whatever hits come their way. If you decide to stay and fight the university, they’ll fight. If you want to leave, they’ll support that and help you find a new path. Alexa, you have to decide if you’ll let all that shit out there”—Kelly’s arm swept out in front of them—“rot what you have right now between you in here.” Alexa watched Kelly as she brought her hand back to touch her heart.
Alexa got real close to Kelly, almost afraid that if she talked too loud her secret would be out. She just wasn’t ready for that yet. “I’m in love with them. Even if I have to leave my job, if I lost everything I’d be okay as long as they wanted me.
“I used to be afraid a lot when I was little. Then I wasn’t afraid. Ever. I was utterly numb. Now I’m terrified because I have something to lose. I have nightmares if I sleep without them. I dream that someone is taking me away from them and I wake up breathing so hard my ribs hurt. I haven’t told them because I know they’ll think they haven’t done enough to make me feel secure with them and that isn’t it. It’s that nobody ever wanted me, and now it still seems too good to be true that they do.
“So I don’t care what people say, or what I might lose. It’ll be devastating to give up everything I’ve worked for, I’m not gonna tell you it won’t. But the way I see it, as long as they want me, someone will have to rip me from their arms.”
Alexa finally noticed that everyone was silent, Lily had tears streaming down her face and a smile plastered on her lips. Kat was clinging to Kelly’s shoulder, blinking rapidly with her big green eyes riveted on Alexa, and Kelly was squeezing Alexa’s hand so hard she might not have full use of it anymore. “And just so you know, I know the dreams will go away. My men will make them. I’m still just getting used to everything.” Shit. Nobody was saying anyt
hing! Had she gone too far? Oh God, Kelly was so going to rat her out about those damn nightmares. She didn’t mean to make anyone cry. Fix it, idiot! Girl’s day clusterfuck!
“You bet your ass they will.” Kelly beamed, and then she turned to Kat. “She’s my new favorite. You’re out. She kicks ass. Someone’s gonna have to rip her out of their arms. Did you hear that part? Brilliant.” Kelly stood up abruptly and dusted off her hands to an affronted-looking Kat who yelled out a “hey” while Lily laughed and winked at Alexa. Then Kelly barked, “All right, now that’s settled, let’s get back to the juicy stuff,” and off she walked. Kat and Lily both hugged her and told her it was, indeed, brilliant, but she was too relieved it was freaking over to care.
Kelly marched on. “So, you liked the floggers, huh? Lily here needs to get with Kent. Girl loves a good whipping.”
“I’m a pain slut and I like protocol. I’d be perfectly happy with a relationship that’s closer to total power exchange. Don’t know if I’d go that far, but I want something that’s a bit more strict. I like structure.” Lily dusted her bottom as she walked like she was thinking of a whipping right now. Alexa wondered how such a free-spirited little thing like Lily could want such confinement in her relationship. She just didn’t see it happening.
The day seemed to sail on by as the foursome interspersed pointing out great scenes of nature with talk of sexual depravity. Alexa didn’t realize just how fun having girlfriends could be. They talked about Kat’s baby and their respective careers with as much ease as they discussed their favorite vibrators. All the women seemed so supportive of each other. They gave advice about work problems and men. They talked openly about what it was like to be submissive.
Kelly stumbled over a log, and Alexa just plopped down on it, deciding that petting the moss seemed like a good idea. “So,” she huffed, “they said that next on the agenda is double penetration. As if it’s no big deal. I don’t know about you, but that just seems like a whole lotta big deal to me. Too much going on in that general area. They told me there’d be butt plugs involved.” She peered at them. “Butt. Plugs. Plural. I looked it up. They come in sizes. I do not have a column for this on my Pleasure Spreadsheet, which means I need to recalibrate all the columns. I don’t like doing that. I like them taking turns. We’re having fun with that. I have columns for that.”
Kat nodded her head in agreement. “Yup. Trust me, the sex is fantastic, but the men can get carried away with their training regimens. If it’s not trying to figure out how to make one hole smaller it’s how to make the other bigger. I’ve had a child. It’s never going to be the same but they seem to think that with the proper exercise it can be even better. They actually bought me a kegel exerciser. Now I spend an hour a day with a plug in my ass and a torture device in my vagina. Let me tell you, anal stretching and vaginal clenching are not a program on the Wii Fit. I don’t think I should have to partake in sadistic fitness routines.”
Kat hadn’t realized that she was the only one still walking, trapped in her own monologue as she was. Everyone else was tearing up with the effort required to keep from falling into hysterics. If that was what she had to look forward to in the future, at least she’d have good friends to joke about it with. She grabbed her backpack and opened a tin she’d kept hidden all day. “Guys, I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I can’t think of any other way to say thanks for coming out with me today.” With shaking hands, she offered them the tin.
Kat was the first to peek inside. “Oh, Lex. You’re sharing your peanut butter cookies.” The laughter finally burst through. James and Ryan must have spotted the group because they came upon them while they were laughing and hugging, peanut butter crumbs all over their clothes. Alexa gave them a goofy, tear-filled smile.
James rolled his eyes. “I guess you all need a ride home. Jesus, how can you even eat cookies with tequila? You guys smell like a cheap Mexican bar.”
Kat marched right up to James and got in his face, “I will smack you if you ever make her do the Wii. You hear me, mister?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Ryan watched with a smirk on his face as Alexa rushed around the kitchen making sure everything was ready for the day. James’s parents were coming over for Thanksgiving and she was beside herself with nerves. It was funny watching her obsessive preparations, but it also made him uneasy. She shouldn’t be this nervous. He knew it wasn’t all about just “meeting the parents,” it was a manifestation of her subconscious fear that the other shoe was going to drop. Whenever anything out of the norm happened, even if it was as minor as her burning dinner, she got jittery with nervous energy or one too many apologies, like she expected it all to end.
Ryan closed his eyes and slouched into the couch to rest his head on the cushion. He didn’t know what else to do to reassure her of her place with them. It was obvious she truly wanted to be with them and give them her trust, but her life to this point hadn’t provided her with the tools to do that. Maybe she wasn’t capable. Something always held her back. Alexa still had too much fear that she’d be abandoned, and Ryan and James were both worried that she always would.
As he opened his eyes and saw James walk over to sit next to him and hand him a beer, eyes trained on Alexa in contemplation, Ryan knew that James was thinking the same thoughts. It was painful to watch someone you loved tying themselves in knots to prove their worthiness when it was so unnecessary. If only she could see how tightly they were bound to her. James sighed and turned to Ryan to give him a wry smile. He worried for James, too. James had known just how to handle Ryan all those years ago. He always seemed confident in how to help Ryan cope with his problems. But though James knew Alexa was struggling, he didn’t have a solution this time, and Ryan knew that was killing James. For the first time, Ryan knew what it meant to need to shelter and bolster the lover who depended on you, and know that if you failed, you will have destroyed the only truly precious thing God gave you to protect.
James leaned over to him. “What if we punish her for something she does wrong? Then she’ll see that when the punishment’s over and we’re still here, she can trust we won’t treat her differently.”
Ryan thought about it. He liked to be punished for things that upset James, true, but Alexa liked commands and restraint. She liked impact play. He didn’t know how she’d take to punishment. “I don’t think that’d be such a good idea. I think she’s more into feeling controlled and wanted. Pleasing us. I think if we use what she associates with safety and love as tools of punishment and pain it might bite us in the ass. The bondage ties her to us for pleasure. I don’t know that I want her associating it with holding her down to receive punishment for our displeasure.”
James widened his eyes in surprise. “Son of a bitch. You’re right. It might be worse than the fucking cage.” James paled a bit. “This is why I need you. I read that all wrong. I knew she needed to be controlled, but I didn’t see that. Dominating her needs to be about our love, not negative repercussions. Gotcha. I’ll fucking tattoo it on my ass. Jesus.” James slouched down, too. “Can you imagine how bad that could have gone?”
Ryan nuzzled James’s neck a bit. “Relax, James. You can always beat me when I’m bad.” He was rewarded with James’s snort of laughter. “She’s just not that kind of sub. I don’t think she really believes we’ll leave her if she makes a mistake. I don’t think a punishment would help much anyway. It’s not about working through something like that. I just don’t think she trusts this to last”—he nudged James—“and don’t think I didn’t hear you say the L-word. You know none of us have said it yet. It could be as simple as that. Maybe she’s just waiting to hear us say it. Maybe that’ll settle her down some.”
James rolled his eyes. “Well, she is a woman. Who knows what they’re thinking. You were a lot easier. It’d be just like a girl to get this jumpy over a word.” James made a big production of stretching. “Might as well get it over with then and tell her.”
Ryan was outright laughing now
. “I’ll call Hallmark. I’m sure that’s going on their best-seller list.”
“Asshole.”
* * * *
James opened the door and pulled Alexa closer, not missing for a second the little move she tried to make to sneak off to the side. No way was the minx hiding away. He was proud to introduce her to his parents, and she’d see soon enough just how much they were going to love her. When he told his father about adding a third to his relationship, he thought his dad might try to fill his head with dire warnings about future catastrophe, but to his surprise, the minute he said it was a woman, his dad immediately told him he was booking a flight to Colorado for Thanksgiving to celebrate, telling him it was about time. Apparently either his parents were even more open-minded than he thought, or they were into more shit than he knew. Whatever, they were happy and here. That’s all he cared about.
“Mom, Dad, glad you got in safe.” James reached out and gave both his parents a quick hug and pulled them into the house before he grabbed Alexa back to his side. “This is Alexa. Lex, these are my parents, Barb and John.” Then James watched in fascination as his mom giggled in hysterical joy, something he wasn’t sure he’d seen before.
“John, look at those curls. Maybe the babies will have little curls,” his mother squealed immediately before she rushed to a stunned Alexa and hugged her.