Creating Dream Circles of Sacred Sahwira Sisterhood
In my collectivist culture, the concept of nuclear family does not exist. “Family” includes nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and totem-related clan members in addition to biological siblings. The circle or semicircle is a powerful symbol of this collective—at meals around the fire, as we listen to stories, during chinyamusasure dances, at funeral rituals, or at dare, village meetings for solutions to pressing family and community issues—we form circles.
The practice of gathering and moving in circles embodies our unity. In a circle, all members are equal. There is no hierarchy of front or back, higher or lower seats. We believe that the circle has healing power, that within the circle we can solve problems and create peace.
In this spirit, I offer you guidance and inspiration to encourage you to stay on the path toward your sacred dreams by creating your own circles of sahwira sisterhood. Beloved sisters, whatever we’re experiencing in our lives, one of the best sources of pure joy is to be in tune with our feminine energy. Harnessing our collective feminine energy through the creation of Dream Circles of Sacred Sahwira Sisterhood connects us deeply and our pain becomes shared, our fight becomes a symbol of our commitment to our earthly calling.
When we respond to our earthly calling with unity, we all begin to rise with dignity from being wounded souls to joyful and compassionate individuals. Let us become one thread in a web connecting this globe and engaging in a responsible and effective manner for the benefit of the greater good.
These empathic Dream Circles of Sacred Sahwira Sisterhood should be based on authentic, healthy, and sacred relationships—starting with how we feel toward ourselves. This is how we band together. This circle allows you to have authentic bonds with other women that are based on trust and respect for each other’s values. Otherwise, our narratives and dreams remain disjointed—heartbeats sounding together are unstoppable! Talk can be cheap, let us be real with the way we band and support one another!
Every day I work with global leaders, circles of women, social entrepreneurs, wisdom leaders, and change makers who are dedicated to realigning their goals with a purpose that is harmonious to the needs of others. All the change makers that I connect with are unanimous in one belief: that our dreams give us the most joy when they are aligned to something greater than our individual selves. We help each other dream and develop new possibilities while impacting the lives of others at the same time.
There are many creative ideas around which to form a Sacred Sahwira Circle. I offer three possibilities to inspire your own thinking: the Dream Circle, the Healing Circle, and the Reading Circle. I hope the guidance here can help you bring women together to help each other achieve your dreams and, maybe, the circle will grow into a movement.
For each of the suggestions below, it is important to identify and come up with your own rituals that are indigenous to the group. These will help bind the group together. You might want to start your meeting with a ritual done while everyone sits in a circle. Ultimately, Sacred Sahwira Circles create an intimate environment that allows trust and honest discussions that enable all sahwiras to get to the root of who they are and the expression of the truth they want to see in themselves and the world they live in.
Also always keep in mind that Sacred Sahwira Circles allow us to tend to others without sacrificing ourselves for the needs of others or get lost in our own personal endeavors. It’s the beauty of our sacredness as women that enables us to balance the two, letting the needs of others motivate and inspire us and be the fuel for our dreams. The success of the group will be its ability to balance the collective good with personal growth.
Sacred Dream Circle
This circle is the intentional coming together of sisters to help each other achieve specific shared sacred dreams. Your sacred circle might reflect on its purpose, and spend time aligning this purpose to something greater.
Invite sisters to brainstorm issues that are important to the group. From that list, identify common issues that are of interest to everyone in the group and act on them.
As you connect with your sahwiras in this way, not only will the group’s shared dreams be a priority, but an individual’s personal dreams will also be strengthened. The beauty of the Sacred Sahwira Circle is that it allows women to operate from a true sense of community, and at the same time, we do not ignore our own needs.
Sacred Reading Circle
One of the best ways to feed our Great Hunger is through reading and discussion. There is so much inspiration in the poetry, prose, and prayers to be found in literature. This circle is a group of sisters coming together to read, discuss, and share some lessons from books that inspire them.
Use this circle as an opportunity to learn more about your sacred dream by reading about another culture, a social concern, or activist strategies. Sisters of the circle will also learn about each other’s dreams in this way. Make connections between your dreams and that of your sahwira as you read, and in your discussions brainstorm plans to move your dreams forward. Be mindful that this is not simply a “book club”—it’s a reading circle with the explicit intention of supporting the awakenings of your sisters and exploring the contours of your dreams. You are not just a reader but a sacred dreamer.
Sacred Healing Circle
This is a circle of sisters coming together with the express purpose of healing. Form a group of sisters who are struggling to navigate their lives after or during some trauma or hardship.
Spiritually, the Sacred Healing Circle enables those who are hurting to share with others in the same situation and identify ways to heal. The power of sharing your pain and hurts with sisters not only nurtures our souls, it also heals the body.
A circle of sisters can provide that loving environment for healing, which may be the most powerful medicine. In order to achieve our dream, first we need to look within and identify the pain and hurts that need to happen before healing can take place. We cannot expect to change what’s in the world unless we first change the conditionings and its pain that have been deeply ingrained within us. This healing allows the Sacred Healing Circle to help those who are hurting to let go of pain and to live a more authentic and fulfilled life.
Organizers of the group will facilitate leading women through purging past hurts and fear through ritual.
• Establish clear guidelines of the rituals, such as “What happens in this healing circle remains here and it’s a taboo for anyone to repeat it.” Or perhaps rules for how each participant can listen to the speaker unconditionally, without judgment or the need to solve.
• Enough small pouches or envelopes, papers, and writing utensils for everyone in the group
• Enough tissues to pass around in case they are needed
• A space where all women can sit in a circle, particularly someplace where you can light some sort of fire, a candle in a fireproof bowl/urn or a fireplace
• A call-and-response chant or prayer
The Ritual:
• After sisters are seated around the circle, lead twenty minutes or so of chanting or prayers that everyone follows.
• Begin the discussion by sharing the purpose of the ritual and why it’s important to purge the pain and hurt that each feels. This is a very emotional process, so it’s important to create a space of trust, honesty, and understanding. We are sacred sisters seeking healing!
• If possible, share your own pain and how you have managed to rise from a wounded soul to a healed one. If that’s not the case, then talk about it and the healing needed.
• Pass out the pouches/envelopes, pads, and pencils to the members. I love using little pouches made out of reeds or a piece of colorful cloth.
• While remaining in the circle, have the women take turns talking about what’s hurting them and why it affects their dreams.
• Give each person enough time to share their feelings.
• When all have shared their pain and whatever hurt
there is, ask the women to take a twenty- to thirty-minute break, and let each find their own space to write down and prioritize the most painful things. They should bring the list either in their pouch or envelope.
• Have everyone take their position in the circle.
• Light the fire.
• Repeat some of the words of the chant or prayer as a group while each woman places her pouch or envelope with her list of hurts and pain in front of them.
• While still remaining in the circle, each woman takes a turn sharing why the final list (prioritized hurts) needs to be purged and in what ways these have impacted the achievement of their dreams. As each woman discusses why the list needs to be purged, they throw the pouch in the fire (please burn carefully in a safe way).
• When all the women are finished, there is need to celebrate. And some may celebrate by having someone massage their body, or holding hands or embracing. This is because this process can be draining and leave your body depleted.
Whatever kind of Sacred Sahwira Circle you create, you are fulfilling your sacred responsibility to yourself and to your sisters when you do so. When something is sacred, it comes with certain responsibilities. Many of you probably read the word “responsibilities” and feel it’s a heavy weight to bear, but that’s not the kind of responsibility I’m talking about here.
We cannot ignore the Great Hunger inside of us, a unique hunger fueled by a gift with which we are all born, which might be a talent, an aptitude, a perspective, a deep burning desire, or some other powerful aspect unique to you. It is indestructible and permanent, even if you have not yet used it (whether by your own choice or because of external circumstances). We have a sacred responsibility to feed our Great Hunger.
Our sacred responsibility also extends beyond the self. When one sister is affected elsewhere, we feel her pain. We are all in this together, intimately and inextricably interconnected and interdependent. Fulfilling a sacred responsibility always carries meaning along with it, even joy in the midst of whatever hard work might be required. Sacred responsibilities lead us to follow dreams with a greater purpose, dreams that not only move and excite us but also positively impact others.
Recently when I was in Zimbabwe I met Susan, an entrepreneur in the clothing industry. Susan grew up in the 1960s under British rule. She never received much education, and the little she did get was limited to home domestic schooling, as was the case for many girls of her time. She learned a great deal about sewing and cooking but was not exposed to math or science.
Susan wanted to further her education, and to do so she needed money to pay her school fees. She decided to perfect her sewing skills and sell clothes, eventually moving into the urban area where her clothing designs became quite popular. Soon she was able to purchase a sewing machine and even hire other women to help her. She was becoming a successful small business owner in her own right.
I asked Susan what gives her joy and what silences her. I expected to hear about local issues such as social and economic challenges, but Susan said, “Western aid silences me more than anything I can think of right now.” I was baffled. I asked her to explain. Instead, Susan asked me to go with her downtown so she could show me.
It was a beautiful sunny day when Susan and I went downtown. We sat watching as people walked by doing their normal business. She asked me to observe what people were wearing and the brand of clothes.
I saw young men wearing T-shirts with all kinds of slogans related to brands from the United States, such as baseball and basketball teams, and food shops. Susan must have seen a lightbulb go on in me, because just as I was about to speak, she raised her hand to stop me and then pointed to three old women walking toward us. One woman in her seventies was frail and walked with a limp and a cane. She wore a T-shirt with the word “f*cked” written across the chest. The second woman, maybe the daughter in her early or mid-fifties, wore a woolly pajama top like a blouse. It had a kitten design. The afternoon sun was getting quite warm, heating the already humid air, but the woolly sleeping attire didn’t seem to bother her. The third woman, a bit younger than the first two, was wearing an evening gown that looked more like a shiny Halloween costume. They were quite a sight.
As they approached, I greeted them and asked about their day. As our conversation progressed, I couldn’t help myself. “Where did you get your clothing?” I asked them. In one voice, they said, “Magaba KuMbare”—“The local market.” I asked what attracted them to these dresses and they said the low prices and the colors.
I then asked the oldest woman why she picked her T-shirt and what she liked about what was written. She looked at me blankly. The other women looked at the old woman’s T-shirt and then back at me. I realized they could not read it. I glanced at Susan, who had been quietly observing our conversation. She smiled at me, her eyes pregnant with meaning.
The middle-aged woman brought her hand to her mouth and then, letting it rest on her chin, she said, “Oho, ndosaka”—“Oh, no wonder why!” The three women exchanged a knowing look and nodded their heads in agreement. I asked what she meant, and in turns they explained that they had met some men who ridiculed them and they had no idea why the men were so rude.
The old woman turned to me and said, “Mwanagu, zvinorevei?”—“My daughter, please tell me what these words mean?” In my language there is no word for “f*ck.” I was at a loss. Susan spoke for the first time, blurting out, “It’s an insult, and you should not be wearing such a T-shirt at your age.” Without another word, the daughter looked into her bag and found a piece of cloth, a Zambia, and placed it on her mother’s chest to hide the words.
On our way back to Susan’s place, she told me she was not only angry about losing business but about how Western aid takes advantage of the country’s collapsed economy by sending these culturally inappropriate clothes. “And it’s all in the name of ‘aid.’ ”
Susan told me how American charity organizations ship bales of secondhand clothes to poor nations without regard to how those hand-me-downs affect the clothing industry, especially small-scale enterprises, which are normally owned by women like her. Poor women, who struggle their whole lives through a colonial system, overcome hardship to become self-supporting business owners only to have the current aid system silence them once again.
But, I thought to myself, this is the only way the poor can have something to cover their bodies given the economy. Susan must have read my mind—or she is all too familiar with the opposition to her point—because she spoke before I could share my thoughts aloud. “This kind of aid damages the country and escalates poverty among the poor,” she said. “You see, if women like me are given a chance, and have access to resources and simple infrastructures to manage our businesses, we have massive potential to grow the economy and help our governments.”
I had not thought much about how such donations have a direct impact on the economy and hurt women like Susan. Not only that, I couldn’t help thinking about the direct consumers of these clothes, particularly women like the ones I had just met who had their dignity taken away, and yet remain proud of those who donate their clothes.
This is not only a phenomenon in Zimbabwe; used clothes that are shipped in huge bales from overseas is a sore in Africa. I have many friends in the US who donate their used clothes to thrift shops, places like the Salvation Army and Goodwill. These are good people and they donate with good intentions. I soon found, however, that not all used clothes are consumed by locals in the US; in fact, most are bagged in big bales and shipped to developing nations.
As I struggled to understand the plight of Susan and the three women we had met in downtown Harare, a sahwira of mine told me to watch the movie Poverty, Inc. To say I was left speechless would be an understatement. The movie supported what I have always thought about why aid will not be an effective tool to empower the women we work with. To improve and provide universal access to quality education, my organization works among some of the poorest communities in rural Zimba
bwe.
Of the 67 percent of people who live in rural Zimbabwe, 52 percent are poor women. Earlier on, I realized that without economically empowering these rural women, it would be impossible to achieve our mission. We needed to embark on a strategy that focuses on the growth of an education system, which is supported by socially engaged business models that boost local economies while improving community women’s livelihoods. Otherwise, rural women in Africa remain poor, while economic freedom is tied to the education of their daughters.
Susan’s clothing business, like the efforts of many women in developing countries, cannot compete with cheap secondhand clothing from overseas that floods local economies. As of our last conversation, Susan has had to lay off all her workers. And if the situation continues, she will soon retire and go back to her village and live in abject poverty. She and women like her cannot help themselves, their communities, or their governments to grow economically in this climate.
Susan’s story of how women can easily be silenced by “good deeds” can help us to consciously think about our work with women and the unintended impact of our actions. Our intentions may be noble, but if we do more harm than good, what’s the use of good intent?
As sacred sisters, what moral responsibilities do we have to right the wrongs of what is happening to our sisters around the world? As we build this global movement, we need to be mindful of how we help and provide spaces to awaken women. We should always be conscious of how we spend our resources and time. Let us be more inquisitive on the path of our own sacred dreams; at every step of our planning, we need to ask ourselves continually: What are the real positive effects on women because of our work? What are the unintended negative effects on women as the result of our work?
The Awakened Woman Page 24