“How is your girlfriend?” she mumbled, wiping sleep from her eyes. She looked cute and unassuming when she woke up, and Jax grinned.
“Girlfriend? Tobi’s a lesbian in a happy, committed relationship. But she's good, thanks for asking.”
The “thanks” thrown into his sentence made them both pause, flinching as if awaiting the axe to fall. But they were together and nothing happened.
“I made some calculations,” Layne said. “There was an atlas under the coffee table. I think it would take two weeks to get to where I want to be.”
“That's not bad,” he said, chewing thoughtfully. “We should head out soon. Did you rest well?”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling at him. He swallowed hard, unable to take his eyes off of her. There was something magnetic about Layne, something he couldn't get enough of. If he could drink her in all day, he would. Even throughout the tragedy, he'd never responded so deeply to a woman. He'd wondered if there was something wrong with him, and found the way Jonathan had abandoned him even more unforgivable because of it.
They headed out, spending the next week slowly getting to know each other. Jax was the strong, silent type, and Layne slowly drew him out of his shell. Soon, they were laughing and speaking to one another as if they had been friends for centuries. It was the happiest either of them had been in years.
One night, Layne surprised him by disappearing. His heart thudded painfully in his chest with fear, until she re-emerged holding a dead rabbit out to him. He ignored the offer and scooped Layne into his arms, his fear and panic turning from a flash of anger to the sudden realization that he wouldn't want to go on without her. She let him hold her, pressing her cool, comforting hands against his back and stroking slowly. The contact was soothing for both of them, and she promised never to disappear without word again. She would have lost her chance to catch the rabbit if she'd woken him up first.
He built a fire, hoping she couldn't see the tears glistening in his eyes, and helped her to cook the rabbit, serving her little pieces as they finished. She would eat and then feed him a piece as he turned the rabbit around over the fire on a stick, peeling off the finished parts for her to eat. They chewed silently together. Although he was grateful for the rabbit, he was still shaken up by his attachment to her.
“Jonathan left me for a woman,” he said suddenly, surprising both of them with the information.
“Why would he do that?” she asked with a frown.
“He was young and in love. I didn't like her. Refused to join her stupid tribe. So he did and left me.”
“That's terrible,” Layne said, her eyebrows furrowing. “What did you do?”
“I barely made it. I was really young. I didn't have half a chance until Hex found me. They helped me get rid of my past. But they couldn't get rid of Jonathan. Because he's still in the present, out there somewhere.”
“How do you know where he is?”
“He came back later. The woman's tribe was basically a cult. They were all insane, just like I told him they were. I swear they were baby eaters, just hoping for their cow to get pregnant so they could eat it. He apologized and asked me to leave with him. But in my mind he wasn't my family anymore – I just had Hex.”
They ate as he spoke, the fire crackling between them as he unveiled his painful memories.
“No offense,” she said, her mouth stuffed full of rabbit. “But he sounds kind of like a jackass.”
Jax laughed loudly, a loose, pleasant sound that filled her with pleasure. “None taken.”
“I'm sure he's learned from his mistakes over time. We all do. That's why it exists I guess.”
“Yeah,” he said distantly, his mind chewing over her words. He'd missed having that kind of faith in the world. Everything he knew had been shaken and destroyed by the virus and the devastation that followed.
“It's best to live in the moment though,” he said after a pause.
“Well in this moment, there is nothing better in the world than eating this rabbit with you,” she said, her eyes glowing in the firelight. She cupped his face in her hands and touched their noses together, bringing a bright smile to his face. The low rumble of his laughter vibrated in her chest as he scooped her close to him. She smiled down at him and their lips met. A surge of hot electricity jolted through their bodies and Jax suddenly pulled away, startled and intrigued by his physical reaction to her.
“We shouldn't do this,” he said.
“Why not?” she whispered, kissing him again. Their tongues danced deeply in each other's mouths, and he was panting when he responded.
“It's too dangerous here,” he said. “We have to stay aware of our surroundings.”
She pulled away from him, taking the warmth of her body with her, to gnaw on the rest of her rabbit. She gave him a resigned smile and lay down. He had never felt more cold.
Chapter 9
The next day they marched through the forest together. Jax was feeling distant and aloof, embarrassed by the affectionate display from the night before. Layne could tell what he was thinking, but didn't call him out on it. Instead she walked quietly along, humming to herself as she went. She liked to keep the old music alive. Nobody had access to electronics anymore, not the kind that the government had been using. The grids had all shut down, and only people who had been connected to solar, wind, or water powered generators were able to continue with life as if untouched. She was sure there were a few off-the-grid people left alive out there. Some of them might not even be aware of the devastation happening around them.
She thought to the seeds in her backpack, the precious few that she'd managed to find and save. All of her hopes and dreams relied on those seeds, and she swallowed hard, patting the small pocket where she kept them to reassure herself that they were still there. She used to hope for signs from God, especially being a scientist and seeing the divine rhyme and rhythm there was to the universe, but they had become few and far between since the tragedy struck. She found herself wishing for one now, knowing that her only chance at security might be in those seeds and her ability to nurture them the right way.
A cool rain suddenly started falling on them. Layne looked up into the sky and twirled around with her arms outstretched, a vibrant smile on her face.
“This is it,” she whispered. “The beginning of the rest of our lives.”
In that moment, Jax knew that he had never seen anybody more beautiful. He gripped her hand tightly, looking up into the sky with her, before reality struck and he knew they had to get into some shelter. There was nothing more dangerous in a survival situation than being wet for too long. He'd managed to find waterproof clothes, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
As they continued north, Layne could tell that something was troubling Jax, but he didn't bring it up until they made camp that night.
“If you find your dream world, where you can plant your food, who will protect you while I'm off looking for my brother?”
The question came suddenly, as she had been chewing happily on some dehydrated fruit rations, and made a knot in her stomach appear out of nowhere. The idea of leaving each other for even a moment was nauseating.
“I can take care of myself, dummy,” she said, giving him a magnetic smile. “I've made it this long without you.”
But deep down she was dreading the day when they parted ways. She had begun to include Jax in her fantasy world, some idyllic nonsense with a white picket fence, man and wife, nuclear family kind of bullshit that never would happen in the real world. She had to kick herself whenever her mind wandered to that forbidden plain of hope. Nothing could ever be that simple again.
“I know you have,” he said. “Which just makes you more amazing.”
They grinned at one another over the firelight, but now both of them were feeling depressed. Thinking about the past could destroy you, and thinking about the future was grim. It was best to stay focused on the present moment. Nothing else was ever going to be a guarantee.
&nb
sp; They fell asleep, both of them troubled and anxious. It was Layne who heard it first – the twig snapping, the sound of sniffing. Wild dogs.
***
“Jax!” she hissed. Jax sat bolt upright, immediately assessing the danger around them.
“Stand up slowly,” he said, reaching slowly for his weapon and standing. She followed his lead, but the dogs were too fast. Her only chance was to run.
Chapter 10
It seemed like she ran forever, further than she had ever thought she could run. All the training her legs had gotten over the years left her agile and athletic, but still, strenuous walking took its toll and her legs were cramping fiercely. She'd lost sight of Jax ages ago, it was only her and the dogs now. Nothing else existed, and nobody else would matter if she was mauled to death, because that would be it; the end of her story.
She didn't know when she had started crying, but it was making her breathe laboriously. She tried to dodge into a tree but failed, and had to keep moving before they caught her. The only reason they hadn't yet was that Jax had distracted them long enough, given them enough distance so that she might have a chance to escape. She wondered if the dogs had killed him, but she couldn't think about that now, not with the adrenaline in her veins, the blood rushing in her ears. She would run now and ask questions later.
And then there was no hope. A wolf, no, it was a husky with wild eyes, but a wolf nonetheless, bared its fangs at her. She thought it drooled rudely onto the forest floor, but it was too dark to be sure. All she saw was the teeth in the moonlight, the pale white fur, the menacing glint in the eyes. And then she saw blood, pooling from its beautiful neck. It fell facedown and she turned, wild-eyed to see Jax bounding toward her, holding her tightly in the darkness, whispering that it was going to be okay now, and they were going to find a place to rest. He would carry her, they would be all right.
They stumbled around in the forest, it was completely uncharted territory for both of them, until they finally stumbled into an old cabin. It smelled awful, like all the other homes did before they were re-inhabited, but they would worry about that later. It was better to be safe from the dog packs out there, certain to be seeking revenge for having one of their own killed.
Jax sat Layne gently on a musty old couch as he searched the house impatiently for supplies. He found the linen closet, changed the sheets on an old bed, checking to make sure it wasn't too moldy, and beckoned her to lay with him. They sank into the bed together, exhausted, and fell asleep before their eyes were fully closed.
***
When they awoke, it was still dark, though it was more obviously morning. They weren't well-rested per se, but they were both used to sleeping in short bursts. Survival was easier that way. She'd heard the term wolf-napping used before by one of the pseudo scientists in her tribe, and thought it applied well to their situation. The sudden thought of wolves caused her to sit bolt upright in her bed and pat her shoulder. Her bag was gone. She lost her seeds as the wolves were chasing her. All hope was lost. There was no way she could settle anywhere now.
She closed her eyes and began to grieve in earnest, her sobs stirring Jax from his slumber. He had thought about being a gentleman the night before and sleeping on the couch, but after the close call they'd had, he couldn't bring himself to leave her sight. He sat up, troubled by her disturbance, and touched her shoulder gently.
“It's all right,” he said softly, his voice tired and hoarse. He hadn't had any water for a while.
“No,” she sobbed. “My seeds. My bag is gone. Everything was in there. That was everything...”
He held her tightly but she pushed him away.
“We need to go back,” she demanded.
“We don't need to go back,” he said, still groggy but sitting up.
“What's wrong with you? Of course we need to go back!” She was sitting up, staring at him wildly.
“No, no. I mean of course we would if we needed to but we don't.”
She was about to smack him in earnest when he got up from the bed and trudged to the sofa in the cabin's living room. He came back and plopped her bag down in front of her, then went outside to urinate and stretch. He came in and sipped his water, surprised. Layne was crying again.
“I thought they were gone forever, my hopes...”
“Hey, it's fine. I'll take care of you.”
Jax lowered himself beside her and she threw her arms around him.
“You saved my life last night. You saved my seeds. You're just so...”
He raised his dark eyebrows and pursed his lips as if hoping she wouldn't continue. She laughed, and then her lips were against his, their warmth gripping him hard, taking him by surprise. It awoke something fierce within him, a pent up energy that he'd been ignoring for all these years, utilizing solely for the purpose of survival. She gasped in surprise as he lifted her with all his strength, settling her on his lap where she could feel the manifestation of his desire burning through their clothes. It excited and aroused her, and she pressed herself experimentally against it, flushing slightly when he responded with a kiss on the neck.
He let his hands roam her perfect body, finally allowing himself to take a moment to appreciate it all. It had been right there in front of him all this time, but he had never felt like it was okay to look; like if he did, it would be a blinding siren's call to certain death. Not that she was a siren, it was more like he didn't trust his own mental discipline. But now it was different. They were somewhere safe. It wasn't even light out yet, they had nowhere to be in particular. And everything felt right.
Layne shuddered, the alien feeling of another person's fingertips on her flesh making goosebumps stand out on her arms. The threadlike tendrils of pleasure he wove through her caught her in a web, and even if she tried she wouldn't be able to avoid succumbing to the guilty pleasure of his body. He was a strong man, both in spirit and body, and once upon a time she would have stared at him like he was a piece of meat, imagining what might be going on in his head and assuming there wasn't much else to him than that. But here he was, showering her with gentle kisses, his eyes sharp and senses calculating, doing just so to elicit just such a response, treating her with the curiosity and wonder of a virgin making love to his first girlfriend.
She almost thought him timid, but no, he tore her shirt off after toying with the buttons; licked her clavicle and nibbled her ears as he pushed off his boxers, revealing his swollen member, engorged and more exciting all on its own than any one of her sexual memories. His touch was intoxicating, as if he had waited all his life just to unleash his prowess on one woman, and now that she was there, and they were together, she would receive nothing less than royal treatment.
He was lifting her again, she was floating weightless, helpless, struggling to submit but ultimately losing the battle and happier for it. He kissed her, their tongues dancing in one another's mouths, stoking the fires inside of them until suddenly it was done – he was in her and she was moaning with a pleasure deeper than anything she had ever known. She held tightly to his bronzed shoulders as they kissed and made love, and he uttered appreciative and reverent groans as he thrust slowly and deliberately inside of her, amplifying any pleasure she might feel to incite his own.
He stayed in control so long that she almost thought he was robotic, and then she sucked his neck, licked his earlobes, scratched gently down his back and saw his control waver. His inhibitions rippled away and he was hammering, thrusting harder, deeper, until she buckled against him, screamed in rapture, shuddered and climaxed again and again, until her contractions squeezed him inside of her, eliciting the rupture of his orgasm, filling her with an explosive flood of power. It seized her and would have brought her to her knees if she were standing up, and they collapsed, breathless, onto the bed, curled around each other like pleased kittens, nibbling each other's lips in bliss until they fell back asleep.
Chapter 11
It was late afternoon before they woke up again, bathroom breaks notwithstand
ing. The sun had finally risen, and they stretched comfortably in the cabin. They'd gotten used to the smell sometime during the night, and without it, and with the touch of the sun, it was actually really cozy. Layne laid in bed, looking at the pictures on the walls, a framed leaf plated with gold on a cream mounting board; a motivational phrase embroidered onto a scroll, encouraging everyone to live in the moment and believe the best is possible. She recognized the quote from somewhere but couldn't quite place it anymore. It had been too long since she dared to wander into a library. Most of them had water damaged books, and the smell of mold was too much for her allergies. She might as well have rolled around on a rug made of cat fur.
Finally, she gazed at the perfect sleeping body of Jax. She let her eyes roam in full golden glory what she hadn't been able to see in the dark. It had been the best sex of her life, nothing could possibly compare. His hand was resting on his bare chest, and she touched it, unable to believe that somebody so mysteriously powerful had come into her life. But there he was.
He gripped her hand tightly as he opened his eyes. He looked well-rested for the first time since they met. She realized that he never seemed able to fully relax – he was always on the alert, looking out for danger, watching out at all times so she wouldn't have to. It was nice to see him have a break for a change. It was something that she would like to get used to. He deserved some peace of mind once in a while.
“Good morning,” he said with a smile.
“Morning,” she replied.
She was worried that her breath smelled bad. She had cardamom seeds in her bag. She hoped that once they were planted they could chew on them to improve their oral hygiene. She had a toothbrush but without toothpaste it wasn't exactly breath-refreshing. Most people didn't bother anymore, but she did her best. It was something she and Jax had in common. The people in the tribes were too miserable to care much about their hygiene.
GUNNER: MC ROMANCE (Forsaken Riders MC Romance Book 4) Page 52