Learning Me (Lightworker Trilogy #1)

by Jamie White

  “Come on, guys,” Sam said. “Let’s not argue over this. That won’t help anything at all. What we need to do is get to the truth, and then Courtney can decide where she wants to go from there.”

  “I think what I want right now is to go home,” Courtney said as she climbed down from the car. “I need to think by myself.”

  “Sure,” Sam said. “Come on, Matt, let’s get out of here.”

  “Courtney,” Lauren said. “I didn’t mean—”

  “I know,” Courtney interrupted, holding her hand out to discourage any further explanation. “I just need to be alone right now. We’ll talk another time.”

  “Okay, if that’s what you want. Sorry…” Lauren held her hand out in a peace offering.

  “It’s okay.” Courtney reached out and shook Lauren’s hand, using the secret gestures they’d come up with when they were little.

  The three watched Lauren as she walked to her car and climbed in. Lauren watched them through the window a moment before waving and starting the engine. She peeled out of the empty drive-in, dirt and other debris spraying from her tires.

  “What was her deal?” Matthew turned to the others with a quizzical look.

  “I don’t know… I guess maybe this freaked her out. They’re her family too.” At least, Courtney hoped that was all it was. The thought of her cousin not trusting her was almost too much to take.

  Chapter Eleven

  The dark made her want to cry. It was lonely without her parents, not to mention scary. As soon as her mother closed the door, her lips began to tremble and she sniffed quietly. After a few minutes, she couldn’t take it anymore. She let out a wail that shook her body, tears flowing like a river that had just broken free of a dam.

  For several minutes, she unleashed her terror and sadness until she saw light peeking through the doorway. Her mother approached her and scooped her in her arms.

  “Sweetie, please don’t cry,” her mother said in a soothing voice. “It’s time for bed, silly goose. You need to get to sleep.”

  A gentle melody sounded through the room, barely over a whisper. Her sobs gradually subsided until they were little more than an occasional hiccup. The sound calmed her, fading into silence as she drifted off to sleep.

  Courtney awoke, desperately clinging to any memory of her dream. All that remained were vague images that left her feeling as though a part of her had been ripped away.

  The more she woke up, the less she remembered, and the more convinced she became that it was important. There was something familiar about the setting that made her unable to entirely shake it. Courtney yawned and checked the time. Her eyes widened and her stomach clenched. Crap, I’m late!

  She couldn’t remember a time when her parents had failed to find out why she wasn’t downstairs on time on the rare occasions she slept in, and now it had happened twice. A minute later, she realized why. “It’s Saturday,” she grumbled to herself.

  Relief seeped into her bones at not having to deal with school that day. She wasn’t sure she could put on a happy face and go through the motions. Her mind was too focused on the images she tried desperately to remember. While she dressed, Courtney struggled to recall what her parents’ plans were that morning. Usually, they had some work-related event or other to go to. She sighed as she realized it was too early for them to be gone yet.

  “Oh well,” she mused quietly. “I guess I can get through a good morning before I make a quick escape.”

  Courtney trudged through the hallway toward the kitchen. She pushed open the door and stepped inside, a genuine smile spreading across her features as she took in the empty room. She got herself some iced tea while mulling over how to spend her day. A noise from behind stopped her cold.

  “Good morning, Courtney.”

  “Hi, Dad.” It felt wrong to call him that now. She couldn’t get over the looks on their faces when she showed them the picture of her real parents, not to mention the sting of betrayal when the truth — or what they said was the truth — came out.

  “So, what have you got going on this morning?” He poured himself a cup of coffee, taking a long sip before he sat beside her at the kitchen table.

  “Nothing,” she mumbled. “Might just go for a walk or something.”

  “Courtney, I know that you must be mad that we didn’t tell you everything sooner, but I promise you, we meant well. We did exactly what we were asked and we agreed that it was best.”

  “And what about what I might want? I’m about to turn eighteen, shouldn’t I have some right to decide what I can or can’t handle now? Especially if I might start getting weird powers?”

  “Young lady, that tone really isn’t necessary. You have no idea what we were all dealing with.”

  “Then why don’t you explain it some more? Will I or won’t I start getting the same abilities? What is so dangerous that they didn’t keep me? You have to know more than what you’ve already told me.” She couldn’t imagine her real parents would just hand her over like that without warning them about the possibilities.

  “As we told you before, there’s a chance you could develop some of the same abilities they had, but we just can’t be sure until it happens — if it does.”

  “You didn’t answer my other questions. What was so dangerous they had to send me off to live in hiding? I mean, that is what you’ve been doing all this time. Is Courtney even my real name?” Despite the doubts lingering in her mind, she couldn’t help wanting to hear more of their story.

  “We were never told exactly what the threat was. It could be that they didn’t know, or that they were afraid of us knowing too much. All I can tell you is, we were asked to keep you under the radar and that’s exactly what we’ve done.” He took another sip of his coffee, staring down at the steaming liquid before adding, “Your name used to be Amelia.”

  “Amelia?” She leaned back in the chair, allowing the name to roll off her tongue and through her mind. For some reason, the name sounded right to her. She reached out and traced the pattern of the tablecloth with her finger, saying, “I like it.”

  “Courtney, I hope you know we didn’t want to lie to you. We had no choice; we had to think about your safety. I hope you’ll keep that in mind before you try to do anything with that information.”

  “I don’t know what you think I can do with just a first name, but I would like to know more about them. Wouldn’t you?”

  “Of course, but these are difficult circumstances. We really don’t know what you could stir up if you dig too deeply. That’s exactly why I didn’t give you a whole name, but I know you’re stubborn enough to try, and I just want you to be careful.”

  “Okay,” she agreed. Courtney chugged the rest of her tea and stood from the table. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Where are you going?”

  Courtney shrugged, annoyance creeping in at the suspicious tone he took. “I don’t know. I just need to be alone right now, to think. I’ll be back by dinner tonight.”

  Her father frowned, but nodded. “See you then.”

  “Bye.” Courtney put her glass in the sink and hurried out of the house as fast as her legs could carry her. She found herself making a left at the end of her street. She had no idea where she was going, but she knew it was away from them.

  ****

  Courtney ended up in a park she used to play in as a child. She sat on one of the swings, using her foot to move herself back and forth. She gradually increased her speed until the wind whipped through her hair and she was nearly touching a nearby tree branch with her toe. Courtney forgot how freeing this could be and the emotions it could stir.

  It was strange to her how she’d never realized just how confined she felt until that moment. All the other times her parents had refused to let her audition for anything other than a school production, all the times that she had to decline entering a contest because it could lead to her being in the paper, and the times they wouldn’t let her travel with friends’ families ran through her mi
nd with an intensity that took her breath away.

  She’d practically been a prisoner most of her life and hadn’t even realized it. To her, it didn’t matter that it was done for her protection. It’d left her sheltered and unsure of what she really wanted or who she was. What had they expected her to do when she graduated in a few months? They obviously knew they wouldn’t be able to stop her from doing whatever she felt like, but had they conditioned her to play along to an extent where she would keep it up even when she was on her own?

  No.

  Courtney came to a stop and stood up. They may have had good intentions, but that didn’t excuse it all, and she couldn’t keep living under a cloud of secrecy and fear of being discovered by some mysterious thing she had no clue about.

  The only question was how to find her birth parents. She had nothing but a first name for herself and her mother, which was next to nothing. For all she knew, her birthday wasn’t even her real one. The thought caused a wave of sadness to wash over her.

  “Stop it,” she muttered to herself as she made her way out of the park. “You will figure this out.” Courtney pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts until Sam’s name came up. She pressed dial and waited through a series of rings she thought would never end.

  “Hey, what’s going on?”

  His voice never sounded better to her. She’d been worried he wouldn’t answer, leaving her stuck.

  “I’m glad you finally answered! Can you meet me in a half-hour back at the lot? I’m calling Matthew in a minute to see if he can come too.”

  “Yeah, what’s going on?”

  Courtney checked to make sure no one was nearby before continuing, “My father gave me some more information this morning and I want to see what we can do with it. I really need to talk to you about it in person.”

  “I’ll be there,” he promised. “Do you need me to come get you? Where are you now?”

  “That’d be good. I’m at that old park on Stevenson.”

  “Got it. See you in a little bit.”

  “Thanks!”

  Courtney ended the call, then dialed Matthew. After explaining everything again, she hung up with a smile on her face. They would both be there. Out of impulse, she searched for her cousin’s name as well, but stopped herself from completing the call. Given her attitude before, it might not be a good idea to get her involved.

  ****

  “Okay, so what's the latest?”

  The three friends sat on the hood of Sam’s car again. Matthew rested his back against the front windshield, while Courtney sat cross-legged on the passenger side. Sam sat with one leg draped over the side of the car, facing the other two, while Courtney explained what she’d learned from her father earlier that day. After she finished, they both appeared to think over what she’d said.

  “So, he didn’t give you a last name?” Sam looked as though he were still trying to wrap his mind around his girlfriend’s real name.

  “No, but that doesn’t have to mean a dead-end. We can find something, right? Especially with the town name from that note. It’d make sense they were in the same area at the time.”

  “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you were born there,” Matthew pointed out.

  “I know, but it’s all I have to go on right now.” Courtney considered the issue some more before adding, “If they kept what they did, there could be more information hidden in the house—I just have to find it.”

  “And you want us to help search the house,” Matthew concluded.

  “No, if they found out I let you all dig through their stuff they’d flip. I could use some moral support, though. Are you guys up for the challenge?”

  “I don’t know,” Sam said. “This whole thing is freaking me out. What if they’re right and there’s some kind of danger out there? I don’t want you to get yourself hurt or worse. Not that I’m saying I believe their story, exactly, but if they’re lying about it…”

  “I know. They might be dangerous too, but I don’t think so. Come on, they raised me as their own daughter all these years. Do you really think they’d do anything to hurt me?”

  He reached for her hand. “Who knows? I don’t think so, but if they’re hiding something more, you never know. People do crazy things when they need to cover their own asses.”

  Courtney sighed. “Look, one way or another, everything has changed and I can’t pretend that it didn’t. I have to know the truth or I’ll be wondering my whole life.”

  “When you put it that way, I guess I’ll be there,” Sam relented. “You really know how to get under my skin, you know that?”

  She laughed. “Yeah, and you love it. Thanks. Okay, my parents are going out of town overnight on Tuesday for some business thing. Can you guys come by then?”

  “I can make it,” Matthew affirmed. His eyes shone with excitement at the plan.

  “We’ll be there,” Sam said.

  “Good.” A thrill ran through her at the idea of finally getting the truth. Still, a small part of her shivered at what she might learn. She couldn’t believe how fast her world had turned upside down and she didn’t know what possibility to hope for.

  Chapter Twelve

  Later that night, Courtney realized her audition was fast approaching and she had yet to learn the part she was supposed to use. Oddly enough, she couldn’t get the energy to worry about it, or even care. Finding her real family had become far more important.

  A pang of guilt settled in her gut as she realized she was going to have to back out, but it had to be done. She fingered the script and allowed herself to daydream about going through with the audition, but she couldn’t see how to make it work. In her mind, there was little chance she would do a good job with such a huge distraction hanging over her head, and she refused to go unless she could give it her best effort. At least the play was over tomorrow night.

  Courtney stood from her bed and walked over to the door, clicking the lock shut. Secure that she had the privacy she wanted, Courtney opened her computer to do some more research. She tapped the surface of her desk while she mulled over where to start. She decided the best thing was to check for any kidnapping cases around that time in the area the note came from.

  Courtney entered the search terms and waited for the results to pop up. She picked up a pencil sitting on the desk beside her and absentmindedly twirled it as she waited. The list of results brought a sense of unease. There weren’t that many in the area, but there were enough that it would take time to get through each one to compare the facts she knew with the articles.

  She went through the links slowly, taking in every detail, but nothing seemed to quite fit. She tried again, using a couple of other places where she had family, but had the same luck. There was no shortage of cases, but all of them seemed to have at least one detail that didn’t match up.

  She shut the computer off and got up, pacing the room over and over. The dead-end made her stomach knot. Each failure pointed more and more to them telling the truth, and she didn’t know if that was something she could deal with. She plopped down on her bed, gripping the corner of her pillow tight as she curled up against it, snorting at the idea she would almost prefer them being criminals at this point.

  She realized if she was going to get any further, she would have to get her hands on her parents’ old stuff. She needed solid information that came from something other than her father’s mouth right now. She just hoped they still had it in the house somewhere.

  ****

  Courtney stood backstage feeling even edgier than she usually did before a performance. After she walked offstage, she, Matthew, and Sam would head back to her house. The idea of what she might find that night made her feel sick to her stomach, but she breathed through it in an effort to avoid messing up in front of an auditorium full of people. She may have lost her sense of self, but at least she still had her pride.

  As usual, the moment she stepped onstage everything else disappeared and Courtney allowed herself
to get lost in the fictional drama of her character instead of her own. She put everything she had into the performance, almost breaking down several times. At the end of one scene in particular, the audience stared at her in stunned silence. The quiet engulfed the room for several beats before giving way to thunderous applause.

  She felt the same energy flowing through her for the rest of the show, and she let it carry her to the curtain call. When she took her bows, she felt like she was flying. She’d never experienced such a sensation in her life and she loved every second of it. After they stepped offstage, Miss Hernandez cornered her.

  “Courtney, I don’t know what happened, but that was outstanding! I don’t think I’ve seen a performance like that out of you in all the years you’ve been here, and that’s saying something. Congratulations!” She gave Courtney a hug.

  “Thanks,” she responded, wiping a couple of stray tears that came out. “I don’t know either, but I’m glad it did… Especially on closing night.”

  “Well, I can’t wait to see what you’ll do at that audition this weekend. You confirmed, right?”

  Courtney’s stomach dropped as the inevitable question came out. She looked so proud and excited that Courtney hated to disappoint her, especially after a night like this. “I, um… I’m not going to be able to do that after all. It’s a long story, but something personal came up and it’s going to take up most of my time.”

  “Is there anything I can do to help? It’d be a shame to see you back out, especially after that performance.”

  “I wish I could, but it’s just not possible. I’m really sorry. I wish I had known sooner.”

  Miss Hernandez sighed, patting Courtney’s shoulder reassuringly. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but things happen. I hope you’ll consider trying something else once everything’s been worked out.”

  “Thanks. I will. I’d better go now, actually. I’ve got a ton of stuff to do tonight, but thanks again for the compliment.”