by Jamie White
Still, Courtney wasn’t willing to take any chances. She gathered up the items and put them into a bag. Once everything was packed, she slipped out the window and ran to Matthew’s house. She didn’t bother going to the front door, assuming he would most likely be getting ready for the ceremony that evening.
Instead, she slipped up to his bedroom window and knocked quietly. She could see him buttoning up a dark blue shirt as he appeared to search the room. She figured he must be trying to find his good shoes—he’d never been able to keep track of those. Ever since they were little kids, he’d take hours trying to find them.
He turned toward the window, surprise registering on his face as he saw her standing at his window. He walked over and opened it. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be getting ready by now? And what’s with bypassing the front door?”
“I can’t really explain, but I need a huge favor.” She handed him the bag she’d packed before she left the house. “Can you keep these here for a few days? It’s really important and very personal.”
“I guess so,” he replied. “What’s going on?”
“Thank you! It’s no big deal really… just stuff I’d rather keep to myself. You know how nosy parents are.” She hoped he’d understand her meaning. The idea of him going through the stuff upset her, but she felt guilty about actually forbidding it.
“Don’t I?” He laughed. “You’re welcome.”
Now that she could be sure her parents wouldn’t be able to snoop in her stuff anymore or maybe take anything, she hurried home and snuck back in her room to get ready to leave. To her relief, neither of them seemed to have noticed her absence. When she emerged from her room in her new dress, they were sitting in the living room watching television.
“You look good,” her mother said as Courtney took a seat beside them.
“Thanks.”
“So, are you almost ready to go?”
Courtney nodded. “I think so. Why am I in a huge panic all of a sudden?”
Despite the lingering tension, her father laughed. “Because everyone does when they graduate, at least a little bit. It’s a huge step…”
“I guess you’re right,” she responded. “Anyway… let me get my cap and gown and I’m ready.”
Courtney hurried from the room to collect her things, her father’s words running through her mind. She had a feeling those words were never going to be more true for her. Ever since she’d bought those first books, a part of her felt like she’d changed and she didn’t fully understand it yet.
Epilogue
Several weeks after graduation, Courtney and Sam were at his house enjoying one more night together before Courtney left for her grandparents’ house. Since his parents were gone until early the next day, they’d opted to stay in instead of going out for the evening. They weren’t sure how often they’d be seeing each other once they both started school.
She was just glad they wouldn’t be going to schools too far away from each other. For a few days, it looked like he might actually be going to some place on the other side of the country. She’d never been happier to see an acceptance letter come in as the one he got a few days after graduation.
They settled into a lounge on the back porch to listen to the radio. She couldn’t help the wicked grin that spread across her face as she pictured the looks on her parent’s faces if they knew she was at his house without anyone else around.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, tightening his grip on her as he gave her a kiss on the neck.
“Just picturing how my parents would react if they knew where I was right now.”
Sam grinned. “And where, might I ask, do they think you are?”
Courtney reached for the tea she had sitting beside them on a table, taking a sip of the drink before answering, “They think we’re at the movies right now. It’s going to suck, by the way, and we’re going to be playing games there instead.”
He shook his head, looking at her in surprise. “Why, Courtney, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything like that out of you before. What happened to not lying to them?”
Courtney shrugged. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned lately, it’s that they don’t need to know everything. Besides, I’ve been in a much more adventurous mood lately,” she teased.
“I’ve noticed,” he said, leaning in for a kiss.
Courtney had no idea how long they lay kissing on the lounge chair and she didn’t care. It was nice to let herself go a little crazy once in a while and forget about the rest of the world — she supposed she should be grateful to Lauren for bringing out this side of her.
The thought of her cousin made her pull away from Sam, her thoughts wandering to that night for what felt like the millionth time. Even weeks later, Courtney and Sam were the only people who knew the truth. She hadn’t even told Matthew about it, feeling it would be best to keep the number of people involved to a minimum.
“You okay?”
“Sorry,” she answered. “I just got to thinking about Lauren again.”
“You aren’t still worried about anyone finding out are you? Didn’t they already close the book on her?”
Courtney nodded. “Yeah, the roommate who never existed did it,” she said with a slight touch of bitterness. She should’ve wondered why the roommate was never around. The night Courtney had almost been busted in the apartment, the landlord had been letting Lauren’s parents in instead of ‘Annie’ as Courtney had feared. Turned out, Courtney wasn’t the only one who’d never met the elusive girl. She guessed she shouldn’t be surprised that Lauren had made the person up. She didn’t think people like her cousin would want too many extras hanging around to complicate whatever plans they had. What pissed Courtney off the most was the fact Lauren had used her birth mother’s name for the fake friend. It was as though the girl had been taunting her secretly the whole time. To this day, no one else knew where the girl was, so everyone assumed ‘Annie’ must have done something to Lauren.
“I still can’t believe she used that name.” Sam shook his head as he stood up to change the radio station.
“Neither can I. That bitch. At least she got what she deserved.” She felt odd saying that, but it was how she felt and she wasn’t going to pretend otherwise.
“Agreed,” he said. Sam finished tuning the radio station and took a seat beside Courtney again. His finger strayed to Courtney’s side, gently caressing it.
Courtney relaxed into his arms again, one hand straying up to finger the crystal necklace she wore. She kept it hidden from view unless Sam was around. She didn’t know who might have seen it when it belonged to Lauren. Courtney knew she probably shouldn’t wear the thing at all, but something about it called to her. It felt comforting to have it on, even if she didn’t understand why. “I’m going to miss this.”
“Same here,” he agreed. “I’m looking forward to the weekends even more now, though.”
Courtney smiled. “True. There’s always a plus side.” Her smile faltered a moment later as she said, “Sam? Are you sure you’re going to be okay with everything?”
He kissed her forehead and nodded. “I already said that, didn’t I? You need to stop worrying.”
“I did break my promise, so I wouldn’t blame you if you were a little upset at least.” Her stomach tightened as she spoke. She couldn’t help the lingering worry she’d carried with her every day since making her decision.
“I never really expected you to keep it,” he admitted. “You’re too stubborn for that and I knew it from the second you bought that first book, but I’m still here. Don’t expect that to change anytime soon.”
His words brought a deep sense of peace to her. She might never tell her parents about the decision she’d made, but she couldn’t picture not telling Sam she’d changed her mind about her birth parents’ job. Sort of, anyway. She wasn’t exactly planning to go looking for trouble, but Courtney realized it was in her blood, and she had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever.
Author’s note:
Thanks for taking the time to read Learning Me. I hope you enjoyed the beginning of Courtney’s journey as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you want to keep up with future installments and other projects, please consider joining my street team or newsletter—they’ll be getting all the scoops first, plus some extra content as the muse gives it to me.
Also, if you feel moved to do so, please consider leaving a review. I’d love to hear what people think.
Also by Jamie White
The Life and Times of No One in Particular
Lyrical Muse
Clutter
A Place Where I Belong
Stains on the Soul (Stains Trilogy, Book One)
Trembling Souls (Stains Trilogy, Book Two)
Smashing the Slate (Stains Trilogy, Book Three)