“Is my mom here?” he asked, hands on his hips.
“What?” Clara asked, attempting to brush her hair out of her face but smearing mud on her cheek instead.
“Do. You. See. My. Mom?” The Kid asked, slowing his words down in a way that reminded me of how Bonnie used to talk to me, at the beginning. Before things changed with us.
“Of course not,” Clara said, rolling her eyes.
“Then it doesn’t matter what she’d say, does it?” He stuck his tongue out at her. Clara darted toward him, but The Kid jumped back, forcing the wagon to stick further into the mud. He darted over the seat, and then jumped onto the ground to plant himself at Bonnie’s side. Attempting, and failing, to hide my smile, I walked around the wagon, my boots squishing in the mud.
“Here, let me help,” I said, offering her my arm.
“Thank you, Jesse. At least one of you James boys was brought up right,” Clara said, grabbing my arm. I pulled her out of the hole. It made a disgusting squelching sound. “My boot!”
Sure enough, one of her feet was bare as she moved away from the mud hole.
I laughed. Blatantly.
“We aren’t gonna get out of this until it dries out,” I said, turning to look at Bonnie. Her eyes were bright. For the first time in two days, it felt like it had before. Before the attack, before she rejected me, just... before. When it was still the three of us.
Sometime after the fire went out that night, I spied movement from my perch in the back of the wagon. My back straightened as Bonnie came into my view. She climbed into the wagon and settled by my side, silent. I recognized the tense set of her shoulders and the way her eyes couldn’t quite settle.
As I opened my mouth to ask if she couldn’t sleep, she handed over her flask. We passed it between us a few times. She shivered beside me. I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around her. I was afraid if I said anything, she’d storm off again. Instead, I remained silent, and Bonnie settled against me. Eventually, we both dozed off. For the first time in days, the nightmares stayed away.
When I woke, Bonnie’s scent enveloped me. Her small body was warm against my chest. I smiled into her hair, pressing my lips to the top of her head. She let out a contented sigh.
Nearby, someone cleared their throat. I picked my head up, finding Clara and The Kid standing at the foot of the wagon. The former’s arms were crossed over her chest, and fury was written in her eyes. Bonnie moved beside me, suddenly realizing we weren’t alone. She mumbled an apology and pulled out of my arms. Before I could protest, she hopped over the side of the wagon and walked off toward the horses.
I ran my hands wearily over my face, tired of her walking away from me. Even if she didn’t want to talk, she needed to listen. The next time I had her alone, I would finish saying the things I’d wanted to in Lamesa.
An hour later, we were able to get the wagon out of the mud. By then, the trail dried enough so the horses’ hooves didn’t sink all of the way down. The afternoon sun finally peered out, and we were well on our way.
A town appeared in the distance after we stopped for lunch. The trees thickened up to the north, and we rode along the line of them until we were nearly upon the town.
Bonnie put her hand up, and we all stopped.
“Do you hear that, Kid?” she asked. I looked toward my brother, watching as he squinted.
“Is that running water?” he asked after a long pause.
Bonnie gave him an encouraging smile. The Kid bounded from the wagon, leaving it behind to break through the tree line. I shouted after him to slow down, but he was gone. I climbed down from No Name and tended to the wagon and horses. Bonnie walked off after my brother, leaving Clara and me alone.
“Jesse,” Clara said beside me. I glanced up at her for only a second while I worked to untie the horses from the wagon.
“Yeah?” I asked. She put one hand on my forearm and tugged the leads from me with the other. I looked up at her, confusion flooding through me. She tipped my head down, her eyes resting heavily on my lips.
“What are you doing?” I asked, trying to shake her off.
“It’s okay, they’re gone,” she said, before pressing herself into my chest. Panic seized my chest. I gripped her by the shoulders to put distance between us.
“What are you doing?” I asked again.
“I wanted to kiss you. Like we used to. We’re engaged, remember?” she asked.
I knew this conversation would happen eventually, but I hoped we wouldn’t have to have it. I dropped my hands from her. I wanted to be gentle, because this was Clara. She’d always been sweet to me, but I had a feeling kindness wouldn’t get through to her.
“Listen, okay?” I asked, speaking in an even tone. “Whatever we had in Montana... It died the night of the fires. It was a different time and place. I don’t hold you to any of those promises.”
Clara’s eyes were wide as she stared at me. “But—”
“I’d appreciate it if you would give me that same respect,” I said. Then I turned away to finish untying the horses. If there was fresh water nearby, it would be better to let them drink from it.
“It’s Bonnie, isn’t it?” Clara asked, a harsh edge to her words. I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair.
“Does it matter?”
“I see the way you look at her. You used to look at me like that,” Clara said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“No,” I said, pointedly. “I didn’t.” I guided the horses by their reins toward the sound of rushing water. It wasn’t fair of Clara to hold me to anything I said back home. Times changed; situations changed. The sooner she understood that, the better. I wouldn’t leave her on her own. That wasn’t the right thing to do, but that didn’t mean I had to keep promises made by two dumb kids who didn’t know any better.
As I broached the tree line, laughter sounded above the rushing water. It brought a smile to my face, much as it had back in Flagstaff the first time I’d heard Bonnie laugh. The stream was nearly ten feet wide and must have been a couple of feet deep, judging by how high it came on her legs.
Legs that wrapped around my waist a few short nights ago.
I pushed the thought away, but my traitorous eyes refused to cooperate. They trailed the pale expanse of her legs. Suddenly, I was back beside that fire, except the clothes were gone and my head was between her thighs.
“Jesse!” The Kid shouted, catching sight of me. I grumbled beneath my breath.
I had to talk to her.
I led the horses to the edge of the stream, tying off their reins on a nearby tree. No Name and Eagle were upstream. I glanced behind me, barely making out the shape of Clara in the wagon.
“Get in! The water’s cold!” my brother said, falling backward and making a big splash. I smiled, thinking of our day at the lake and how damn near perfect it was. Until Bonnie rejected me and we fought. A frown crossed my face.
The mud we’d been in the past two days crusted over my clothes and much of my skin. It would be nice to have a hot shower, but a cold stream would do for now. I kicked off my boots, specifically not looking at Bonnie as I undressed.
Even at its deepest point, the stream barely reached past the middle of my thighs. I focused on cleaning the dirt off my skin, eventually soaking my clothes at the water’s edge to clean them as well. The water was cold, just the shock I needed. To get clean and to not think about Bonnie and how little she wore.
Of course, that was until my brother decided to go taunt Clara and left us alone. Why did he do that? It was like he wanted us to get into trouble.
I spared a glance at Bonnie. She sat in the shallow water, running her fingertips back and forth along the surface. I was about to look away when her blue eyes captured me.
“A dozen kids, huh?” she asked, that familiar teasing edge back in her voice. I let out a breathy laugh.
“You know how guys are,” I said, taking broad steps toward her in the water. I settled down about a foot away. “Say just about
anything to get a pretty girl out of their dress.” I shrugged.
“I don’t, really,” Bonnie said. “I never had a relationship.”
“Wouldn’t recommend it. They’re not fun,” I said, chuckling.
“I don’t know. The tension, the suspense. The ‘will they, won’t they?’ Will they kill each other first?” Bonnie said. “Seems like it could be pretty hot.”
“I guess it could be,” I said, staring into the water as it rushed away from us. “If it was the right person.” I glanced up at her. Bonnie was the right person. Not Clara.
“If those dozen kids were as cool as your brother, I could see how you could convince someone to settle down,” Bonnie said, blinking up at me through her eyelashes. There it was again. That longing. Not desire, not lust. Longing. I felt it echoed in my chest.
Every single day she’d been out of my arms was full of that longing for her. Each night when I fought against sleep or had nightmares, I remembered how she’d soothed them just by being there. Waking up with her in my arms this morning nearly made me forget her harsh words from the bar that night.
“He is pretty great, isn’t he?” I asked. My gaze lowered to her lips. I inched forward to kiss her but stopped myself. I couldn’t. Not with everything left unsaid. “Bonnie, what you said the other night... that it was a mistake. If that’s how you feel, I’ll respect it. But if it’s not...”
There they were. The words I’d left unspoken. If she didn’t feel the same about me, then I’d learn to let it go. But, if there was even the slimmest chance that nothing had changed, I wasn’t going to let it pass me by. Bonnie’s gaze fell to the water. She shifted, as though she were going to stand. Which meant she would walk away.
“Of course it was a mistake,” she said. “For so many reasons. Clara, for one. But there are others. I keep putting you and The Kid in danger. Sixgun, the attack. If you hadn’t been with me, it wouldn’t have happened. You deserve a measure of peace, Jesse, and I can’t give you that.”
Her words struck me right in the heart. How had I missed it? Of course Bonnie felt like everything was her fault. I did, too. I reached up, taking hold of her hand.
“I understand why you must hate me. It’s not fair of me to keep doin’ this to you,” she said, the words barely audible over the water rushing around us. Her eyes fell to our hands.
“I don’t hate you. The attack was my fault as much as yours. We got caught up, but I don’t blame you for any of it,” I said, glancing to make sure we were still alone. “But I don’t think it was a mistake. You and me. This... thing.” I didn’t know how to put my feelings into words. “I... want you. I don’t want some whore in a hallway, or a girl from my past. I want you.” That ache in my chest returned. She wasn’t looking at me.
Bonnie finally brought her eyes to mine. Though I could see the open longing reflected back at me, there was sadness, too. “One day soon, I’ll have to leave. I don’t have a choice. You know that,” she said.
I did. I knew that our time together had an end date. I knew that she couldn’t just stop. She didn’t have family or friends or anyone that could keep her safe.
Except me. And The Kid. We could be Bonnie’s family.
We could protect her. Keep her safe from the madmen chasing her. I knew nothing I said would change her mind. Not right now. That didn’t stop the trickle of hope that found its way into my heart. I reached over, brushing a stray lock of dark, wet hair behind her ear. She leaned her cheek into my hand. We shared a small smile. My eyes fell to her lips once more.
“Can I kiss you?” I asked. She nodded, her arms sliding over my shoulders to hook around my neck.
“Okay,” she whispered against my lips. I pulled her to me, shifting her in my arms until she straddled my lap in the cold water. Our lips touched in the faintest of kisses.
“Jesse!” The Kid’s voice cut above the rushing water. I pulled back from Bonnie, turning toward him. “Clara saw y’all kissing. Said something about leaving.” Amusement lit up his eyes, and he bounded away from the stream.
I pressed my forehead to Bonnie’s. “Guess I should go make sure she doesn’t get herself killed,” I said, not moving an inch. I leaned forward, capturing Bonnie’s mouth with my own in a heated kiss. She rolled her hips against my growing desire. I groaned into her mouth.
“You’re wicked, woman,” I said. Then, regretfully, I disentangled myself from her and headed toward the bank. After drying off and changing into clean clothes, we made our way back, Bonnie’s hand in mine.
Clara stood at the tail of the wagon, stuffing some of the food into the small bag I’d carried from Montana. She froze at the sight of us, anger flashing in her eyes before she tossed the bag over one shoulder. I dropped Bonnie’s hand.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked.
“Leaving,” she said, refusing to look at me. I snatched the bag away. “Give it back.”
“If you want to leave, then go, but you’re not taking this bag or anything in it,” I said. Clara glared at me, grabbing for it again. I held it out of her reach.
“Give it back,” she demanded.
“It’s not yours,” I said. “You have two choices. You can go off on your own, or you can sit your ass in that wagon and let us get on our way.”
She huffed, glaring from me to Bonnie and back to me. I lifted my eyebrows in a silent challenge. She cursed beneath her breath and climbed into the wagon. The Kid took up residence in the driver’s seat.
I turned to Bonnie, who was smiling at me. There’d been no love lost between the women. I started to turn away when a figure broke through the trees near the stream. A man rushed forward. He clamped a hand over Bonnie’s mouth before I could shout. She screamed against his hand. He dragged her backward, narrowly avoiding the knee Bonnie drove up between his legs. I took in the man’s dusty cowboy hat and familiar face.
“Let me go!” Bonnie screamed.
“Goddamnit, Bonnie, you didn’t have to bite me!” the man shouted. Suddenly, I remembered why he was familiar. This was the same man who had tried to steal Bonnie in Flagstaff before we escaped. Will Ellis.
I grabbed the pistol from my waistband, aimed it at him, and pulled the trigger.
Chapter Twenty-One - Bonnie
For a solitary moment, time stood still. The booming strike of the gunshot reverberated in my ears and my mind refused to follow or acknowledge what happened next. There was no pain, but the thud of the bullet finding flesh recoiled through me as Will fell. No. Years of separation and betrayal that’d loomed dark between us evaporated like smoke as I witnessed the pain in his eyes.
“Ay dios mio!” Will shouted, clutching the bloody wound on his shoulder. “What the fuck is wrong with that pendejo!”
Will’s familiar rolling voice, his lean form writhing in agony on the ground—it churned my stomach. No. Not Will. I dropped down beside him, trying to pry his hands away from the wound to assess the damage. Had the bullet hit an artery? Did we need a tourniquet?
All at once, he was just my friend again, bleeding on the ground.
Jesse was beside me in an instant, gun trained on Will’s prone form. Will glared into the barrel. All I could see was red as I tried to staunch the bleeding.
“Put it down!” I hissed to Jesse, but the gun never lowered.
“We don’t have time for that!” Will ground out through clenched teeth. He gripped my shirt tight and pulled me forward. “I came to warn you. My father’s waiting in that town to ambush you. You have to run, songbird.”
A loud buzzing sounded in my ears. Sixgun was here. I leveled panicked eyes at Jesse, my own fear mirrored back at me. I swallowed down the terror threatening to swallow me whole and set my jaw.
Muffled shouting drifted toward us in the distance, someone signaling that they’d spotted us. My breath became ragged and I clenched my fists to still the tremors working down my arms into my fingers. Jesse looked to me, frozen in place by the same panic that seized me. We had to move. Now.<
br />
If Sixgun caught me, there was no telling what retribution he would carve into my skin this time. My defiance on the train, the bullet I’d buried in his knee, his obsession with me. The consequences of that night would be the perfect storm of horror and blood.
I pushed the thoughts away as I struggled with Will’s obnoxious bulk until I’d managed to get him off the ground and leaning on me.
“We’re not taking him with us,” Jesse said, incredulous. His eyes were confused and shocked, but I didn’t have the time to explain. Will and I were bound together by ties stronger than blood. No matter what happened, we would always fight for each other.
“Like hell we aren’t,” I said, grunting as I struggled to shove him into the wagon.
“He just tried to drag you away. For all we know he led them here,” Jesse argued, reaching for my arm. I dropped Will heavily into the back of the wagon. He groaned as he landed on his wounded shoulder. Whirling to Jesse, my heart in my throat, I squared my shoulders.
“Rule number seven!” I shouted. “No one gets left behind.”
Jesse pointed angrily at Will. “He’s not one of us!”
“Either he comes, or I stay with him,” I said, voice firm. We stared at each other for a tense moment; a muscle twitched in Jesse’s jaw.
“Fine!” He shouted, hands gesturing wildly. He swung his leg back onto No Name and with a hard pull, forced the horse around.
“Fine,” I said. I mounted Eagle and dug my heels into her side. I caught a glimpse of riders in the distance, a familiar black cowboy hat among them. A weak sound clawed its way from the back of my throat.
“Kid! How fast can you make that wagon go?” I asked. He grinned wide beneath the brim of his hat, whipping the reins furiously. The horses thundered back down the path we’d just come from. We kept a reckless pace, unable to hide our tracks in the drying mud. We veered off the main road and took a trail covered with rocks and small shrubs. The wagon bounced and jostled so hard, I was afraid it would shake apart. With each turn the riders fell further behind us, but they never stopped.
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