If there was anything Jesse and I could understand, it was how hard it could be to face down the demons of your past. I looked up at him, seeing the same understanding etched in his blue eyes. Gabriela sighed, shifting on her feet.
“I’m sure you’re all tired and you need to get him to bed,” she said, looking down at The Kid again with that same longing expression in her eyes. “I’ll check on y’all sometime tomorrow.” Then she left with a small wave.
“C’mon, Kid, let’s find you somewhere to sleep,” I said, motioning to Will and Clara as we searched through the rooms on the first floor. One room had two twin beds in it, with a small table in between. I settled The Kid in there, glaring at Will until he threw his pack at the foot of the other bed. I could’ve sworn I heard him grumble something in Spanish that sounded an awful lot like ‘cockblocker.’
Clara disappeared down another hall, and Jesse and I were left alone for the first time in a while. He pushed open a door near the end of the hall. A large bed rested in the corner with a desk settled beneath a window that showed the night sky beyond. Jesse went in first, dropping our packs onto the bed as I shut the door behind me. I flipped the lock on the door with an audible click.
Jesse’s eyes found mine in the darkness, and I smiled, my lips curling slowly on my mouth.
“We have a door with a lock,” I said. Jesse didn’t hesitate; in a moment, he crossed the room, and I was in his arms. His mouth seared across mine. I gasped into his mouth as the pleasure of being pressed against him lanced up my spine. He pulled away, cradling my face with one of his callused hands.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked. I shook my head, pressing insistent hands against his chest until the backs of his knees bumped against the mattress. He lost his balance and sat heavily, but I didn’t stop. My mouth met his in a fury, only stopping briefly to pull his shirt over his head and fling it to the floor, forgotten. Moonlight streamed in through the window, highlighting the hard planes of his chest. I remembered what I’d thought the first time I’d seen him shirtless in the daylight by the lake.
I wanted to lick every curve and dip on his chiseled body.
My mouth trailed from his lips to trace his pounding pulse before dipping lower. I pressed a hot kiss to the skin covering his thundering heart before smiling at him with lascivious intention.
My tongue flicked out of my mouth as I tasted the heat from his skin. A smooth groan slipped from between his lips. I reached his hips and the steep valley of muscles that seemed to curve towards the waistband of his jeans. I raked my nails gently down his hips, popping the top button of his jeans. I bit him softly on the skin above his waistband.
“Bonnie,” he gasped. I pressed his zipper down slowly, until the whole hard length of him was freed from his pants. Jesse’s hands fisted into the rough-hewn quilt below him. I stroked him until his hips squirmed beneath my touch. When I thought he was almost lost to my touch, I replaced my hand with my mouth.
I groaned, the sound reverberating around him and forcing a cry of pleasure from his mouth. He was intoxicating, his every reaction urging me on. Jesse swore, his hips bucking forward and his hands tangled in the long tendrils of my hair. As his body shifted beneath me, his groaning became more choked, and his fingers tightened against my scalp. It felt so good to know that his pleasure was at my mercy. Good enough that I sped up my motions until he was crying out his release into the still night air.
He fell back onto the mattress, chest heaving as he struggled to regain his composure. I stood before him, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand. In one swift motion, I pulled my shirt off over my head, unclipping my bra at the back before dropping it to the floor.
“Take your pants off,” I ordered, my voice a husky rasp. We’d waited so long. So many times, I’d wanted to give him my body, to feel his rough hands on every part of me. To fall into exhausted bliss next to him after a vigorous night of mindless pleasure.
I wanted more now.
He flung his boots off and shoved at his jeans, fumbling as they caught on his ankles. He reached for me, his hands on my arms as I climbed over him in all his beautiful nakedness.
Now that we’d finally made it, things were about to change. Jesse wanted to stay with me, but I couldn't be responsible for putting The Kid in danger. I’d started wanting things that day at the lake, and it hadn’t stopped there. I wanted to drown in the taste of Jesse, to be wrapped in his arms every night, to lean on him when things got hard. Even as I lay dying in his arms, all I’d wanted was more time with him. There were so many things I was uncertain about. I didn’t even know how much time we had left together. If there was anything I knew with certainty, it was that I wanted this. I wanted all of Jesse.
I kissed him hard, sure that the taste of him would banish the doubts lingering in my mind. His hands slid up over the curves of my ass and traced my spine. He cupped my breasts, teasing my nipples to hard points until he’d wrenched a desperate moan from deep within me. Then, as I’d done to him earlier, he replaced his hands with his mouth.
I cried out into the night, my hands buried into his hair. It was too much. I was too lost to him to hold back anymore. The words rose up within me, and I stifled them by leaning to press my mouth to his in a hopeless rush. His hands fell to my sleep pants, fingers curling around the waistband to slide them down my legs. He moaned my name. Heat gathered in my eyes.
"Jesse, I lo—"
"You're bleeding," Jesse said, cutting off my reckless admission with an edge of panic in his harsh whisper.
"What?" I asked, but he pushed me gently off of his lap and laid me down on the mattress. He fumbled with a lantern on the side of the bed, until suddenly light flooded the room. I covered my bare chest with an arm as he shoved on sleep pants. He pulled bandages from my pack. I sighed, seeing the small crimson stain soaking into the fabric of my pants.
"Does it hurt?" he asked, pushing my pants down until the bandage was visible.
"No, I was distracted at the time," I grumbled. Jesse offered me a disappointed smile that I returned in kind. He peeled back the bandage and cleaned my wound. All the while, he hunched over me, nearly naked. I watched the muscles move in his shoulders as he cleaned away the blood. The careful concern in his expression and the delicate way he touched me only made me want him more.
"It just pulled them tight, you didn't pop any of them," he said, discarding the bloody bandages and opting for clean ones.
"Bloody gunshot wounds are such a turn on," I groaned, turning my red face away from Jesse.
“Trust me, bloody wound or not, you’re still sexy,” Jesse said, pressing a soft kiss to the skin above my bandages before pulling my pants back up. He passed me my shirt, which I pulled on over my bare breasts. Jesse stretched out next to me, his fingertips running over my shoulder. A shiver ran down my spine, and I tucked in against him. He hadn’t slept much since I was shot, and I could see exhaustion written clearly in the lines of his face.
“We should get some rest; it’s been a long time since we had an actual bed to sleep in,” I murmured against his chest. We adjusted until I was pressed tight into that spot on his shoulder where I fit so well. He leaned over to turn the lantern off and buried his nose in my hair, sighing like the weight of the world had lifted from his shoulders.
“We have time now, Bonnie. We don’t have to rush,” he whispered in my ear. I swallowed down my trepidation.
Did we?
Jesse’s warmth and the strength of his embrace were too soothing to chase those thoughts. Instead, we fell asleep clinging to each other, our deep breaths synchronized.
It seemed as if it were only a moment later when I woke, the sun’s rays barely peeking over the windowsill. Jesse’s fingers were tangled in my hair, and his arm was slung over my waist, the other cushioning my head. We’d slept with our mouths inches apart, like lovesick fools.
Who am I kidding? I am a lovesick fool.
It took entirely too long to twist out of Jesse’s arms without waking hi
m up, but somehow I managed. Unlocking the door and shuffling out on bare feet, I walked to the kitchen, where Will leaned against the counter with a mug of coffee steaming in his hands. His eyes trailed from my braless breasts to the bloodstain on my pants, and he cringed.
“How many stitches did you fuck up?” he asked. His expression fell when I stole his mug of coffee with a dark glare in his direction and brought the bracing bitterness of the drink to my mouth.
“None,” I said with all the hate in my heart. Will laughed, ruffling his dark hair and pouring himself another mug. “Glad I could amuse you.”
“Sorry, it’s just... each morning I keep expecting to see the both of you glowing and yet... still...” Will said, taking a long pull from his mug.
“I wish Jesse’d shot you in the hip,” I grumbled blackly. Will held up his hands in surrender, stifling another chuckle. The truth was, my sexual frustration wasn’t the only thing bothering me. My predicament and my feelings for Jesse left me feeling confused and oddly upended today.
I want you. I want to be by your side. No matter what.
Jesse wanted me, wanted to be with me. But he’d never said he loved me. My mind went back to the longing I’d seen in Gabriela’s eyes last night when she looked at The Kid. The wistful way she spoke of settling down and leaving this place for a quiet life and a family. Was that what it looked like when only one person was in love? I worried my bottom lip with my teeth. Will stayed quiet, recognizing the confliction clouding my eyes.
“Whatever you decide, songbird, I won’t leave you again,” he said after a long time. Too long. I shook my head and offered a strained smile. Before I could say anything, a door shut loudly down the hall, and a few moments later Jesse shuffled in on bare feet. Still wearing only his low-slung sleep pants. His near-nakedness in the daylight startled me awake. His eyes were half-lidded, mouth still swollen from sleep as he crossed the room and plucked my coffee mug out of my hands. Setting it on the counter, he pressed me back against the cabinets.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” he asked. He didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, he bent low and covered my mouth in a bruising kiss. He swallowed down a muffled sound of surprise until I was clinging to him to stay upright. Then he pulled back just long enough to look down at me expectantly.
“What was the question?” I asked, breathless. He smiled.
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Oh, right. You looked tired,” I said stupidly.
“Mornin’, Montana,” Will said, overly chipper. Jesse turned, a confused expression on his face. “Been here the whole time.” I cleared my throat awkwardly, wondering where everyone else was this morning.
“I was thinking,” I said as Will handed Jesse his own mug of coffee and eyed his bare chest when he wasn’t looking. “Maybe Will could take Clara and The Kid on a tour of the compound today. At least for a while, to give Jesse a chance to talk to his uncle.”
“Wait,” Will said, holding up a finger. “You’re encouraging me to spend time with Blondie now?” A lopsided grin tilted his mouth in a way that meant nothing but trouble. I groaned, running a weary hand down my face.
“I’m going to regret saying this, but... yes?” I said, looking to Jesse for confirmation. After all, he’d been the one opposed to Will flirting with Clara.
“Have at it, my friend,” Jesse said, taking a long sip of his coffee. “Just don’t give The Kid coffee or chocolate. You’ll regret it. Trust me.”
Will’s expression turned serious as he regarded Jesse, just a flicker before his normal mischievous glint returned to his dark eyes. It’d caught on the word friend. I tangled my fingers with Jesse’s and pulled his hand up to my mouth for a gentle kiss.
The rest of the morning was a flurry of action. Waking The Kid and getting him ready to go with Will and Clara, getting dressed and stealing peeks at Jesse across the room, watching as the tension returned to his shoulders at the prospect of getting answers to his past. Before we knew it, I pulled Selene from my saddle bag and tucked her into my waistband.
“Do you think you’re going to need that?” Jesse asked, his tone curious.
“No, but waking up a drunk with a hangover could get interesting, and I’m not takin’ chances,” I said stiffly. We walked to the end of the hall, and Jesse pushed open the door to find the man snoring with his mouth wide open and one arm flung over his eyes to block out the dim sunlight filtering into the room. It smelled like sweat and vomit in here. Jesse kicked the mattress, his uncle slumping to the floor and waking with a start. He came up swinging, a pocket knife in hand. I ducked, and Jesse shoved him back hard enough for him to fall back onto his bed.
“W-who are you and what’re you doin’ in my house?!” he shouted, his words lazy with sleep or drink, I couldn’t tell which.
“I’m your nephew,” Jesse said, stoic. The man lumbered onto unsteady feet and wavered close to Jesse’s face, narrowing bloodshot eyes. He grunted in acknowledgement before his eyes swung over to me. They widened briefly, and he took a step forward before Jesse placed himself between us. An incredulous sound caught in the back of Mickey’s throat, and he pushed Jesse out of the way to half-stumble down the hall towards the kitchen, where he immediately found the bottle of golden liquid Gabriela had pulled out the night before.
“Look, mom sent us here—"
Mickey had no intention of listening to Jesse. He popped the cork on the bottle, and I found myself pulling it roughly out of his hands. He stared at me in disbelief before reaching for it again, but I stepped back until there was enough space between us that he was forced to acknowledge Jesse.
“She did, huh? Where is she, anyway? Her and that son of a bitch Jeff didn’t have any problem abandoning me to this shithole when they left,” he said, a bitter chuckle booming from his chest. I poured him a lukewarm mug of coffee and set it in front of him, probably with a little too much force, as some of it sloshed out the sides.
“Watch your mouth,” Jesse said in a dangerous tone. “There was a fire.” He checked over his shoulder that The Kid and the others were gone. “She and Pop didn’t make it.”
Mickey’s face, full of spite, fell into unimaginable sorrow. The difference was subtle yet devastating. His eyes, as blue as Jesse’s, filled with tears wavering on his lower lashes. Something about seeing a man who’d survived the end of the world crying had my heart in my throat.
“A fire?” he said, the words a choked whisper. Jesse nodded solemnly.
“That’s why we’re here,” he said, clearing his throat and clenching his jaw. “The last thing she said was to find you. There were these men, maybe a gang, but not one we’ve seen before. They came to Montana and burned everything down—"
“I don’t understand,” Mickey said, his head in his hands. He raised his tearstained eyes to Jesse. “How did they find her?”
“Who?” Jesse asked, sitting heavily at the table across from him. “Who was looking for her? Why would anyone be looking for them? They were small town farmers, for fuck’s sake.”
Mickey turned and fixed me with a pointed stare.
“We’re gonna need somethin’ stronger than coffee for this conversation, sweetheart,” he said, and I begrudgingly handed him the bottle I’d taken earlier. He poured some of the alcohol into his coffee and handed the bottle to Jesse.
“Your parents were goddamn heroes, kid,” he said before taking a long swallow that stilled his shaking hands. I crossed to Jesse, putting a hand on his shoulder to let him know I was here. He put his over mine and pulled me onto his lap. Mickey watched our interactions carefully, his eyes sharp now that he’d had something to drink.
“Tell me,” Jesse said, his voice commanding.
“Well, your dad was an agricultural engineer. He knew how to put things together and take them apart, and he applied that knowledge to large scale... well, farming,” he said, breathing a laugh. “But not like your family farm in Montana, I’m sure. He was trying to solve world hunger.”
Je
sse trembled, and I remembered the stories he’d told us on the journey here about his father. Fishing with him. Working on the car. Going to the market. I tangled my fingers with Jesse’s, and he squeezed my hand. His father was exactly who he thought he was, and so much more.
“He met your mom at a United Nations meeting, world leaders from all over the world there to hear him speak about how to feed everyone on the planet. Your mom was in the government; I barely even knew what she did. It was mostly top-secret.” Mickey paused, taking another long drag from his mug and running the pad of his thumb over his bottom lip.
“All I know is that she found out about the Culling right before the first bombs fell. She got messages to everyone she could. They came to the base at Roswell but left before it was destroyed. She told me she had to go into hiding, that she hid something dangerous and there would be people coming after her. I was the only one she told.
“I don’t understand how they found her. I don’t understand,” he said, his voice cracking on the words. I ran my hand on the back of Jesse’s neck where he was the tensest. His mother had risked her life to save people during the Culling and his father tried to feed the hungry his entire life. No wonder Jesse turned out so wonderful, with parents like that. Mickey mopped at his face, and Selene was beginning to dig into my sore side. I shifted on Jesse’s lap, and his worried eyes found mine.
“It’s fine,” I said softly, pulling Selene from my waistband and sighing in relief. Mickey’s hand was around my wrist a moment later, yanking me to my feet as he stared at the gun in my hand.
“Where’d you get this gun?” he shouted. I shoved a hand against his chest, which was surprisingly solid for a drunkard. Jesse was on his feet, scrambling to find a weapon.
“None of your business, you drunk piece of shit,” I spat. He pulled on my arm again, and my stitches pulled tight. Pain flared in my side and I yelped. Jesse’s fist came down hard on Mickey’s jaw.
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