Once you learn to be an original, take the challenge to help someone else do the same. It’s just amazing how many different gifts and abilities and cool things are in each person, but sometimes people need a little help bringing those things out. If you are willing to do that, it will make you feel great about yourself while helping someone else feel great about him- or herself too.
TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF
In the world, there’s a lot of pressure to be like other people. Sometimes I don’t think those “other people” are the best role models, but because they are “popular” or “cool,” people compare themselves to them or want to be like them. I think this is really sad. When people try to find their confidence or self-worth based on whether or not they are like others, they will usually end up disappointed.
For some reason, this is a real problem among teenagers. Maybe that is because so many of us are trying to discover who we are, why we are here on earth, and what we are supposed to do with our lives. Some people do not have parents who help them grow up, and they kind of have to figure out life on their own. I can see why they could be tempted to imitate friends, celebrities, or people their age who seem to have everything together or seem interesting.
Another reason we compare ourselves to others or try to be like them is that we don’t want to be rejected or feel alone. Let’s face it: we all want to have friends and to be accepted. There’s nothing wrong with that. God made us to want relationships. But if that desire causes us to ignore the best things about ourselves and instead try to be like other people, then we have a problem.
In our family, I don’t think anyone feels pressure to be someone they’re not. We are pretty good at accepting each other for who we are. We celebrate the things people do well and try to help them with what they may not do so well. Our family has always had the attitude that not everyone has to be good at everything. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses; people are good at different things. For example, John Luke is really smart, but he can’t sing, and he has not exactly excelled in sports. In fact, he says, “Sadie and Will have ninety-nine percent of the athletic ability in our family—and Bella and I share the remaining one percent!”
He does not complain or feel bad about what he cannot do. He cheers me on when I play sports, he puts a lot of energy into the things he is good at, and he has a good sense of humor about the things he doesn’t do so well.
Not long ago my brother Will mentioned that he does not think he is as funny as other boys in his class are. My mom said, “I think you are funny, but you may not be as funny as someone else, and that’s okay. You may not be the funniest person, but you are really good at music and you are a great friend.” She let him know that if we compare ourselves to others, we will always feel we come up short. There will always be someone funnier or smarter, or more athletic than we are. We have to look at the gifts God gives us and not worry about being the best at everything.
My mom says telling children and teenagers they are the best at everything is not good for them. She thinks it’s much better to say, “You are great at some things but not at others. Look at the talents God gave you, and know what you’re good at.”
Too often, especially as teenagers, we stress over not being able to do things other people can do. We look at others and compare ourselves to them when we really just need to look to God and ask if we are living like He wants us to. We get depressed about what we can’t do or what we don’t have, when we really need to focus on and make the most of what we do have. The Bible says it like this in Romans 12:6–8:
In His grace, God has given us different gifts
for doing certain things well.
So if God has given you the ability to prophesy,
speak out with as much faith as God has given you.
If your gift is serving others, serve them well.
If you are a teacher, teach well.
If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging.
If it is giving, give generously.
If God has given you leadership ability,
take the responsibility seriously.
And if you have a gift for showing kindness
to others, do it gladly.
If we all had the same gift, we would not get much done. And let’s face it: if we were all the same, life would be pretty boring. God made us all different. He gave us different gifts so we can work together to do some awesome things. What is the gift God has given you? Examine your life. Figure it out. Use that gift to help others in service to God. And don’t spend another second wishing you could be like someone else.
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY
Until I got into high school, I never thought much about prom dresses. I guess I thought I would have a couple of prom dresses in my lifetime, but I never expected to end up having my own line of dresses and getting to model them during Fashion Week in New York. But one summer, within just a few weeks, two prom dress companies contacted me about being one of their celebrities.
I appreciated both offers, but I really wanted to work with Sherri Hill’s company, probably the biggest prom dress designer in America. I was excited about doing this, not just because it was a great opportunity, but also because I saw it as a chance to do something that could make a difference. I had the idea to create a line of dresses that were “Daddy approved.” Over the past several years, prom dresses have become more and more immodest—some are totally shocking. I’m not surprised Dads would be nervous about them. I was not looking to create a line of floor-length, turtleneck, denim dresses; I just knew there could be something in between that and the super-revealing dresses—dresses that would be beautiful and that girls would want to wear, but also dresses dads would be proud for their daughters to walk out the door in on prom night. I hope that doing this and speaking up about modesty will make dressing modestly cool again. After all, modest is hottest!
When the time came for me to create the collection, my mom, Two-Mama, Rebecca, Bella, and I flew from our mission trip in the Dominican Republic to Austin, Texas, where Sherri Hill’s headquarters is located, and we really clicked with the people there. When the time came for me to choose the dresses for my Live Original collection, we went into a huge warehouse filled with dresses—seriously, thousands and thousands of dresses. I had never seen anything like it!
My job was to choose fifteen dresses to serve as models for the Live Original line. Once I finally narrowed them down, which was really hard, I had a chance to make changes to them. I suggested things like making hemlines longer, making tops less low-cut, or changing colors.
When the dresses were finished and the time came for me to do the photo shoot for the line, Sherri gave me a pair of Converse high tops to wear with one of them. I loved that. It was such a great visual for the whole idea of living original, and it captured so much of who I am. I like to get dressed up and have my hair, nails, and makeup done, but I’m also really casual, fun, and a little unpredictable sometimes—like tennis shoes with a prom dress.
Maybe you are the type of person who would want to wear brightly colored high tops with a nice dress, or maybe something totally different, but just as quirky, would be more your style. The point is to find out who you are and express it in every way you can. Clothes are a place to start, but you can also express yourself in lots of other ways—like the way you decorate your room or through art, music, or dance, or through the way you live your beliefs and uphold your standards.
Everything you do and say sends a message about who you are, so make sure the message represents you well!
SURPRISE!
I love to surprise people. A surprise might be as simple as making a funny face at an unexpected time or picking up a favorite dessert from a local restaurant and taking it home to my family. But one of my favorite ways to surprise people is to do what I call my “God thing” when dealing with the media.
When a popular magazine for teen girls interviewed me about my prom dress line, I don’t think they thought I would u
se that opportunity to talk about my faith or my values. I can’t speak for them, but I think they expected me to be a teenage girl obsessing over prom and dresses and boys, and it seemed like they tried to get me to go in that direction. I was not intimidated at all. I just started talking about the importance of modesty and how great it is that the fashion world now offers dresses a dad can be proud of. I went on to share a few things about how excited I was to see dresses that are not suggestive and about how prom should be a fun time for high schoolers, not something more.
The person who interviewed me seemed caught off guard, because all she really said in response to my comments was, “Okay.”
The fact is, there are non-Christian people in the world who really want to see Christians mess up or even deliberately try to get us to say or do things that will make us look like we are not serious or genuine about our faith. I am out to prove these people wrong. I’m committed to practicing what I preach—and I know, I preach a lot!
Someone asked me one time if I have always been spunky and bold enough to stand up for what I believe. The answer is yes. I’m certainly not perfect—I sin and make mistakes like anyone else—but I have always been proud of the fact that I am a Christian. I’m not one of those people who acts one way at church and then goes around at school kind of embarrassed about my faith. I’ve just never been afraid to stand up for what I believe in.
My attitude is that whatever happens, I know God’s behind me. He’s got my back, and He is taking care of me. I know there are situations and groups of people in which being a Christian is not popular, and I realize there will be times I will not be accepted into cool things because of my beliefs. I’m okay with that. As long as I am true to God and true to myself, whether or not something is cool is really not important. I have set high standards for my life, and I hope you will do the same.
I’ve surrounded myself with friends who will help me be strong and uphold my standards, not people who will tempt me to do things I should not do. If you want to stay on the right path, having good friends around you is not optional; it’s a must.
God knows that and loves me, and He loves you too. He took care of our imperfections by sending His Son to die on the cross. But as long as you are in this world as a Christian, situations will arise in which you can either take the easy way out and deny your faith, or you can stand up for your beliefs.
Even Peter denied Christ when times got tough (see Mark 14:66–72). If you have had times in your life when you have not stood up for your faith, don’t let that get you down, just decide to start new and start standing up now. One of the best things about God is that you do not have to be perfect. God used imperfect people all the way through the Bible, people who did horrible things and made terrible mistakes. Yet God forgave them and still called them His disciples, His children, and He used them to further His Kingdom. If you follow Christ, decide today that you will do your “God thing” every chance you get, especially when it ends up surprising people.
TAKE A CHANCE
Different people in my family have said publicly many times that we will be fine if we lose everything we have gained as a result of Duck Dynasty. It’s true. We were fine before we had a television show, and we will be fine when it’s over. Some people are surprised to hear us say that. They think being a “celebrity” is the greatest thing ever and wonder how we could possibly think we will be okay when that changes. We’ll be fine because we know who we are—apart from the things we get to do and enjoy because of Duck Dynasty. We are confident and secure in God and in ourselves. This is not because we are great people or anything. It’s because we gave our lives to God, and our desire is to do His will, not our own. All of this is not an accident. We are intentional about giving our lives to God every day. We do not take our faith for granted.
Before our television show started, we went to God in prayer and asked Him to guide us in the decision whether or not to even do the show. We told Him that if it hurt our family in any way, then to take it away from us. We asked Him to keep us humble and keep our hearts turned toward Him and to be sure we do not get caught up in people’s approval or in comparing ourselves to others. That is how we could walk away from it all and know we will be fine. We know God is with us, and every day, we try to love Him and love each other and live in ways that please Him. The great thing about this is that it gives us the freedom to take risks. Let me explain what I mean by that.
When you put your relationship with God first and you also have a great relationship with your family, you can risk having people get upset with you for standing up for your beliefs. You can risk being rejected because of your values, and you can even risk losing a boyfriend if the relationship is not going in a godly direction. You can risk looking or acting different from other people. You can do these things because you know you will be okay without them. You know God is with you and for you, and I hope you can also know your family is standing beside you. But even without your family’s support, you can know that God is there. So many people are afraid of losing other people’s approval that they do things that are not good for them—just to keep from being rejected. When you have God in your life, you are never rejected; you are always accepted and always loved.
If you know you need to take some kind of risk, then get your relationship with God strong and go for it. You will never know what you could have or experience in life unless you try. God made you an original. That means you are really special, and He has a really special plan for your life. You may have to risk something that currently feels secure in order to go after that plan, but with God’s help, you may end up in an awesome situation if you’ll just take the chance.
GOD WANTS THE BEST
My mom talks to my siblings and me a lot about living a good life and having the courage to be ourselves. Both of our parents give us the room to be creative and to do different things, as long as we seek to please God and obey His Word. The reason they want us to obey His Word is that they know He wants the best for us. God tells us what to do and what not to do not so we will be bored or boring, but so we can live a good life on this earth. In His Word, He lays out a plan for us to be happy and content. And who doesn’t want happiness and contentment?
Everything God tells us to do is for our good. He doesn’t just make up arbitrary rules to see if we will obey them or not. He knows everything about us and everything about our lives, so centuries ago He wrote the Bible to give us a set of directions to follow if we want to live in strong, happy, peaceful ways. We get to choose whether to obey them or not.
One of the best things about God is that when we get off His path, He still loves us. He doesn’t get angry with us or love us less. He loves us just the same, which is a lot more than we can ever wrap our minds around.
God wants the very best for you. That’s what I want for you too. He made you an amazing person with all kinds of potential. I hope you’ll live life His way, be an original, and express your uniqueness in every way you can, every chance you get.
Live Original Challenge
1. How can you keep from falling into the trap of comparing yourself with others, so you can maximize your strong points and be okay with what you’re not so good at?
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2. Do you try to see the best in other people and help them see what’s good about themselves? How can you help someone around you learn to live original?
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3. What are some ways you can start living original right now? What things do you want to change about yourself: the way you look, the ways you spend your time, your values, or something else to better express who you really are?
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4. Based on what we’ve talked about in this book, what do you t
hink God is calling you to do and be?
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DON’T FORGET
You’re an original!
Find your uniqueness and express it every way you can.
A Quick Guide to Living Original
I have written about a lot of things in this book. On the next couple of pages is a list of the key points of each chapter and the scriptures that encourage me as I try to do these things every day. I hope this will be a quick reminder of ways to be your best self and live original.
1. Think happy, be happy: “But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful” (Psalm 68:3, NIV).
2. Dream big: “ ‘Anything is possible if a person believes’ ” (Mark 9:23).
3. Never give up: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation” (Romans 5:3–4).
4. Be confident: “Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you!” (Hebrews 10:35).
5. Focus on fixing yourself: “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Live Original (Sadie Robertson) Page 15