Daphnie thought the girl was stupid to eat and throw up after every meal. She said, “I think her mom is putting a lot of pressure on her daughter because she doesn’t want her to be fat.”
Jerickca knew that Daphnie was far smarter than her years and she was very proud of her. She didn’t want her to find out the truth and often wondered if there was a friend or Daphnie was telling her to let her know she knew her secret. Whatever Daphnie knew or didn’t know, it seemed that she wanted her mom to be aware that she knew the signs of a person who was bulimic.
Daphnie told Jerickca that when their friend became bulimic, their health teacher had talked to the whole class about the subject. Great emphasis in their conversation was placed on making the students familiar with signs and symptoms, so that they would be able to identify friends who might have the disease.
Daphnie told her mom that compulsive overeaters were often caught in a vicious cycle of binging and depression. She said that people use food as a coping mechanism to help deal with feelings. Daphnie went on to say that binge eating temporarily relieves the stress of bad feelings, but depression, guilt, shame, and more depression follow it. People who binge always eat more in private. They constantly think of being fat with a fear of gaining weight. They have a problem with body image. They eat large amounts of food in a short period of time. They sneak food, lie about eating habits, fast, induce vomiting, abuse laxatives and diuretics, and exercise compulsively. Daphnie was talking so fast that she couldn’t even catch her breath.
Jerickca remembered telling Daphnie to slow down. She was talking fast and needed to take a moment to breathe. Finally, she asked her how she had remembered all that information. Daphnie told her it was easy because her friend had all the symptoms.
She was happy that her daughter understood this problem that was now affecting so many young girls.
After their conversation, Daphnie happily walked away. She was excited that she could remember all that information. She wanted to help people get better, and she knew that she wanted to be a doctor some day, so she always paid close attention when they discussed diseases in the class.
Jerickca was so happy that her child was bright and able to comprehend complex information. It made her feel proud that putting her through the Christian school system was paying off. Mostly, this was because the teachers had more time to spend with their students and because there was a smaller number of students per teacher. This is why Jerickca had picked that particular school. Jerickca laughed, thinking about that conversation and how cocky Daphnie was acting.
Now, all Jerickca had to do was make sure that Daphnie never found out about her problem. This wouldn’t be easy, because she knew so much about binging. Jerickca needed help, but she was unsure what her next step needed to be.
After the meeting, Jerickca went to her office to call Spencer to tell her what had happened. After several rings, Spencer picked up the phone.
“Hey girl! Were you busy with a client?” Jerickca asked, hoping she could talk to Spencer.
“No, I just walked into the office. How did your meeting go?”
“It went fine. I gave out assignments and took everyone’s suggestions from the field trip. We discussed some of the clients’ concerns and problems. Then we briefly went over the personnel handbook to cover some changes. I made sure to cover the fraternizing section and made sure that they understood the company policy on office romance. I told them not to ever get their butter where they made their bread,” Jerickca said, laughing.
“How did they respond?”
“Megan and Phoenix said that there wasn’t anyone at the company that was fine enough for them. So we didn’t have too worry about them messing around with a co-worker. But I’m almost sure that if McNary were to say anything to them, they would both jump at the chance to hit the sheets with him.”
Spencer laughed, “Well, at least you made sure they understood company policy. If they choose to ignore it, they will have to deal with the consequences. What’s going on with Pammie?”
“Actually, nothing. Since she met this woman, she has been laying kind of low. Hopefully, she really is getting her act together.”
Spencer hesitated. “Jerickca, does it bother you that Pammie is exploring the same sex?”
“Not really. It’s her life. If she is happy with this woman, I’m happy for her. But I do worry about her soul. After all, the Bible says we should not become lovers of ourselves, even though that confuses me because I’m not sure if it means masturbation or having sex with the same gender,” Jerickca said, sounding as if she was confused.
“Maybe you should ask your pastor.”
I’d rather not. He may think I’m asking the question for myself.”
“How often do you think about that?”
“Spencer, I’m not crazy, and I certainly don’t need counseling about my sister’s choices. Yes, I’d rather she was with a man, but I accept her for who she is. Her sexual choice doesn’t make me love her any less than I would if she was straight. My love for her is totally unconditional,” Jerickca said loudly in a high-pitched tone.
“I just know you, Jerickca. You always worry, and I don’t want to see you get sick trying to put out all the fires. You’re my friend, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know that I worry, but she is my sister and I just want the best for her.” Jerickca became silent as she held the phone to her left ear. Then she shifted the phone to the right ear and sighed heavily.
“Is there something else you want to talk about?”
Jerickca knew that she should tell her that she was having a food problem because her friend could help her, but shame and fear stopped her.
“No, I guess I’ll talk to you later in the week. Take care, girl. I love you,” Spencer said.
“I’ll call you later. Love you, too.”
After they hung up, Jerickca sat quietly. Soon she would have to tell her friend. She couldn’t keep this secret much longer.
Chapter 16
Denver picked up the phone to call her mother, Diane. She hadn’t talked to her in more than three months. Ever since Denver graduated from high school at the top of her class, Diane treated her indifferently. She knew that her mom was disappointed in her because she didn’t want to become a full-fledged attorney, but that seemed like eons ago. Yet, their relationship was strained more now than ever. Denver was disappointed in her mom because she spent most of her time hopping from one man’s bed to another’s. Whenever she confronted Diane, her mom just told her to mind her own business.
This response left Denver feeling worse. Why couldn’t she have a regular mom whom she could talk to? All her life she had been left at her mom’s grandparents’ house or a friend’s home while she traveled with her new boyfriends. Diane never really acted like a mom that a daughter could go to with problems. Denver always felt alone. That’s why she had a hard time developing relationships. How could she do that when her own mom never had time for her?
“Hello Mom. I was calling to check up on you since you haven’t tried to reach me.” Denver really felt like cursing the witch out because she sometimes hated her.
“Hi baby. What’s going on?” Diane tried to act interested, but as usual, Denver had called right in the middle of her lovemaking session with her new beau.
Denver sighed. “Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to tell you that I have a good job.”
“Denver, you know that good isn’t enough. Are you an attorney yet? Because if you are not, I don’t want to talk about jobs until you are in the courtroom defending somebody,” Diane said, talking quickly in a loud, agitated voice.
“You know what Mom? I shouldn’t have called you. You should have been defending me, but all you ever did was expect me to be and do what you wanted. Why can’t you just accept me, Mommy?” Denver started crying. Her mom always did this to her. They could never talk without screaming at each other.
“I just want you to be more than I am. I never got a chance
to go away to college because I got pregnant.”
“Please don’t blame me for that. You could have continued school.”
“Denver, it would have been impossible for me to do that with a small kid and no job.”
Denver was still crying. “Mom, please accept who I am. Please!”
“I’m sorry. I’ll do better sweetheart, I promise, but do me a favor and go to law school.”
Denver slammed the phone down. “Fuck her!” she whispered. Denver couldn’t believe Diane. Why was she so impossible to deal with?
Sitting at the cherry wood table with tears streaming down her face, she cried a bowl of tears. Suddenly, the quiet and tranquil room was filled with the loud, intrusive sound of the phone ringing. She allowed it to ring more than six times. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, especially her mother since Diane had just made her feel miserable about her career choices. If she picked up the phone, it could be Lathan Donovan, the married man that she was dating. She didn’t want to be cuddled up in the arms of anyone except her mother, because she longed for her to hold her and say that she loved her. She knew that that wouldn’t happen, not today or tomorrow, because it had never happened in the past. The phone stopped ringing as quickly as it had started.
Denver thought about her relationship with her mother. She remembered every detail about her parents’ relationship, both good and bad. Diane had always been a free spirit. She was the life of the party, with so many friends who enjoyed her company immensely. She was bold and sexy and had many unique qualities. She was as aggressive as a cock-strong man, gentle as Caress soap, and pushy like six musclemen shoving a disabled car off the street. Yet everyone, especially men, was drawn to her like a magnet. Diane married straight out of high school because she was pregnant with Denver. The first six months of her marriage, as well as her pregnancy, were the most difficult that she would have to face in her young life. Her husband, Jonathan, had already selected the college of his choice and registered to attend the University of Illinois in Champaign. Prior to finding out that Diane was pregnant, he was prepared to leave to start his life as a freshman in college. He was excited, and his parents were overwhelmed with joy, because he would be the first Cannon to attend college.
Diane had selected Illinois State, a college located in Normal, which was less than two hundred miles from East St. Louis. They were both very excited about attending college and looked forward to majoring in their prospective disciplines. Diane wanted to major in journalism, while Jonathan had chosen electrical engineering. Their parents couldn’t wait for them to leave, because this would provide the lovers with a needed break from each other. They had grown too close to each other. When they were apart, which was rarely, their friends compared their separation to a baby without his umbilical cord still attached to its lifeline.
Diane and Jonathan were just like that, needing and wanting each other as if they couldn’t live, couldn’t breathe, unless their very lives depended on their love. Something changed all that. It was “The Prom.” Prom night was the first and only time that they had become intimate while in high school. They both agreed that no love could be as strong as what they had for each other. They planned to make this night their bridge to adulthood. They rented a room in the Holiday Inn in downtown St. Louis. It was just a hop and skip away from the East St. Louis area. All one had to do was drive across the bridge over the Mississippi River and he would be in the state of Missouri.
Once they had registered at the hotel, they returned to East St. Louis and went to the Walgreen’s on Collinsville Avenue to purchase two bottles of Asti Spumante. Like the rest of their bright-eyed peers, they attended the prom, which was held at the Augustine’s Restaurant, a popular dinner-dance club that most schools used for their anticipated evening of glamour and seduction.
After the prom and breakfast at Denny’s, Diane and Jonathan went back to St. Louis. Once they entered the hotel, their passion exploded. Jonathan was all over Diane. He wanted her so badly. He couldn’t stand the wait. Jonathan almost tore her beautiful white gown off. Diane had dressed to impress him. She wanted him to desire her with an intensity so enormous that she imagined he would do everything in his power to be inside of her hot and boiling body.
Once their clothes were off their sweaty and tense bodies felt as if they would explode from their desperate desire for each other. Jonathan struggled to possess her. He tried with all the strength that he could muster to put his whole body into Diane’s thin, virginal frame. Once he was inside the love of his life, her body raised high to meet him and they became one. They screamed out in passion as their bodies pounded each other. For Diane it was the ultimate proclamation of their love for each other. When they reached their orgasm at the same time, Diane swore that it was the moment she conceived Denver, because at that moment, her heart seemed to melt like butter on a hot grill.
Diane told Denver that that night changed their love forever. They were forced to marry right before Jonathan left for college. They married before the Justice of the Peace at City Hall. That August, when Diane was three months pregnant, she went to the train station to see her new husband off to college. They had decided that he had to go to college so that he would be able to provide for his new family. College life was beautiful, and Jonathan loved it. He saw so many gorgeous young women from all corners of the world. He wanted to explore, date, and enjoy his life as a young man, but he couldn’t because he was eighteen with a pregnant eighteen-year-old wife, and this made him feel miserable. When he came home on the weekends, he took his frustrations out on Diane. He became physically violent with her because he blamed her for his life being in a shambles. He punched and kicked her, and left her with black eyes and swollen jaws every weekend. Diane’s parents didn’t care that she was being beaten, because they, too, were disappointed in her for ruining her life. Their beautiful, talented, smart daughter was a total embarrassment to her family. All through her pregnancy, Diane was beaten and abused. It took her friends to pull her out of this bad situation. Finally, she divorced Jonathan and sued him for child support.
Diane went to college eventually, but she never became the journalist that she fantasized she would be. She ended up working in retail sales as a clothing buyer. It was an okay job with a great salary, but she traveled a lot, having to leave her small daughter with her mother. This made Diane want her daughter to acquire those skills that would make her excel and reach great heights. That’s why she wanted Denver to become an attorney. Denver could have the career that her mother had missed because of her pregnancy.
Denver knew the story well, because her mom had told her about it often to ensure that she would never forget it and lose her focus while striving to achieve her goals.
The phone rang again. Denver held her head up and picked up the phone. As if coming out of a deep sleep, she whispered, “Hello.”
“Baby, I was worried about you when you didn’t pick up the phone. I’ll be right over,” Lathan said before hanging up the phone.
Denver didn’t have a chance to tell him that she didn’t want any company, because he hung up the phone so quickly. Now what am I going to do? she thought. I don’t feel like being bothered with his married ass tonight.
She got up from the table and went to the bathroom to shower and reinvigorate. Right now, whether she could admit it to herself or not, he was the person she needed to see. At least she loved and needed him, but this whole relationship confused her. One minute she wanted him, and the next, she hated him. She really did love him, even though he still had not asked his wife for the divorce. He said that he wanted to wait until his children graduated from high school.
Lathan had told Denver that he needed her to be patient. He didn’t love his wife anymore because they had grown apart. They had two children. He had used the excuse that he needed to stay in the marriage for his kids.
“They need their father, and I need to be with them,” he constantly told Denver. She just wanted him for herself. She had needs,
too. Deep down, if she allowed herself to think about it long enough, she would realize that the shit about him not loving his wife was a lie. If a man really didn’t love his wife, he would leave her ass. No one had to stay with someone that he didn’t love, no matter what he said. Hell, a man would leave a miserable life and change his whole persona to find happiness. Why couldn’t Lathan? Denver knew he was still having sex with his wife, because sometimes when he came over, she could smell another woman on him. Since she was dating a married man, she assumed it was his wife’s scent. If he was so miserable, why was he still sleeping with the mother of his children?
The doorbell rang. She walked over and looked through the peephole in the colossal oak wood door. It was Lathan, looking as good as ever with his “foine” self. He was about forty-five and stood six feet three inches tall. He basically towered over her. When he entered the door, he grabbed her and hungrily kissed her. His kiss felt so good that she could feel her knees weaken. She didn’t have a moment to protest, because he lifted her up and carried her straight to the bedroom. He laid her down while kissing her and sliding his hand gently down her legs.
She could feel the chill bumps intensifying all over her, except she wasn’t cold. If you touched her body, it oozed with passion, heat, and seduction. He kissed her ears, slid his tongue down her neck and down to her breast where he let his mouth open and close gently around her puckered nipples. She was losing her breath, because it was too intense. The passion was rising through her chest and she could feel herself become weak. She shifted her body because she wanted him to be inside of her before she exploded. He was massaging her pulsating vagina. Her vagina was so moist that it felt as if it had released a flood of pussy juice that was running down her legs. She took his hand and moved it away from her hungry, anxiously awaiting hairy bush, because she wanted to slow it down. She pulled his face up close to hers and gave him a deep, wet kiss. Slowly she grabbed his manhood and helped to guide it inside her hot juicy pussy. He pumped his strong, thick dick into her with eagerness. She responded by gyrating her hips and using her kegel muscle to squeeze his penis inside of her. Every time she gripped his penis with her muscle, he moaned, “Fuck me.” Their bodies were singing like a canary, making a joyful sound. Lathan couldn’t contain his emotions. He whispered, “Do it, girl. Shit, work it baby.” The more he talked dirty to her, the more she rolled her hips. His deep voice turned her on. She begged him to fuck her rough. He responded with deep and hard thrusts. She had never felt like this in the arms of any other man.
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