by Alona Jarden
"I hardly know him to love or hate him."
"Allow me to strongly agree with Mr. Briggs. He doesn’t know me at all," Aidan hastened to say on his behalf.
"I understand." She looked down at her notepad and wrote some more details.
I was so relieved that a few minutes later, she took Aidan's contact details and asked him not to leave town, seconds before she told him it was time for him to leave.
I thought I would be the next one to be said goodbye to, but I was mistaken. Officer Swenson didn’t part with me so quickly. In fact, she just closed the door after Aidan and returned to sit across from me in the living room, asking me what felt like a million meaningless questions and making me wish for the return of Kate's poor excuse of a friend, Aidan.
"No. I cannot think of anyone who would want to hurt her."
"Mr. Briggs, I understand that you are tired and worried, but it is important that you cooperate with me so that I can find your daughter."
"If you knew me better, you would appreciate the cooperation you've received so far."
"Sir, I want to remind you that I'm here to help. If I'm bothering you, I can just as well leave." She gave me a glaring, uncompromising look.
"No!" I abandoned my tough performance and begged her to stay as long as needed, hoping it would better her search for my daughter.
"So I'll ask again, Mr. Briggs, can you think of anybody in Kate's life who would want to hurt her?"
"I can't. She wasn’t America's sweetheart, but she wasn’t the publics' enemy number one either. I understand that it sounds like she was hated by her classmates, but maybe if you talk to her favorite professor you'll hear how much he admired her and..."
"A professor? What's his name?" her eyes lit up.
"Professor Thompson," mine widened as well. "Do you think maybe... No. I don’t believe that... Now that I think of it... I talked to him yesterday. I asked him if he had seen or heard from her and he never answered that question!"
"What time was that?" She tried to understand his part in the events of the previous day as I detailed for her my conversation with Professor Thompson.
Officer Swenson wrote down every word I shared with her. She asked more questions and investigated, getting out of me some details that hadn’t caught my attention before.
Could it be? Had her lack of connection with her contemporaries led her into a romantic relationship with Professor Thompson? Had that been the true reason for those long hours she spent with him at the end of the school day? Was that the real explanation for his enormous admiration for her?
"Oh, he is so dead!" I slammed my fist on the coffee table. "I am going to…"
"Mr. Briggs, I beg you." She put her hand on my arm. "If we have any chance to find your daughter, and if she is indeed in Professor Thompson's possession, the only thing we have going for us is the element of surprise."
"There was a truck," I suddenly remembered. "Yesterday, at 5:30 PM, when we were talking, I heard a passing truck in the background of our conversation."
"That's a very important detail, Mr. Briggs. Try to remember what else you heard as a background noise."
"I think I heard an announcement, maybe it was a gas station or a roadside mall?"
"Okay, I'll look into that." She added a few more notes in her notepad and returned to looking at me. "I want to ask you a question on a different path for this investigation. Do you believe that Aidan could want to harm Kate in any way?"
"The idiot that was sitting here a few minutes ago?"
"Yes," she raised her eyebrows. "While you saw a clown, I saw unrequited love and... Unfortunately, in my experience, unrequited love makes people do horrible things."
"Yes, but Aidan?" I rolled my eyes as I considered that, trying to figure out if there was anything in her claim. "I can't see that happening."
"With your permission, I will also examine that possibility."
"Sure." I hated the fact that the investigation was focused on someone who wanted to hurt or harm my precious daughter, when all I ever wanted to do was hold and protect her.
I escorted Officer Swenson to the front door and was filled with hope that I would soon seize the treasure of my life back in my arms.
"Sir," she suddenly turned, "is there anyone who might want to hurt you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Is it possible that someone kidnaped Kate in order to hurt you indirectly?"
"Me?" I frowned. "Absolutely not." I hoped I was determined enough to erase any doubt from her mind.
"Well, that's my number, Mr. Briggs." She placed her business card in my hand. "If you remember anything else, don’t hesitate to contact me."
"Thanks." I closed the door and slid my back against it until I crashed on the floor.
Once, a long time ago, in another lifetime, there had been quite a few people who could do something like that, but not anymore. I hadn’t been lying when I’d answered Officer Swenson. In the calm and relaxed life I built for myself as Kate's father, there was no one who could do anything like that.
I no longer knew anyone that could want to hurt me, and certainly not through her.
Chapter 8
Andrew
"I knew it!" She stared at me, trying to figure out what her thoughts were after realizing who I was. "See? I called 'psycho' and I was right after all."
"You sure were," I smiled. "I told you that you would call me that even after you discovered my identity."
"So your god damn name is Andrew?"
"Yeah," I widened my smile. "I'm not Tom, nor Frank, nor Jason, nor..."
"Nope," she interrupted me. "You're not any of the above, but you really are an idiot." I was glad to see she wasn’t so alarmed by the fact that her Starbucks barista was the one who’d had her tied to a bed for the last twenty-four hours.
"No argument there. I am a proud idiot, but you're smart enough to understand that if I took such drastic measures to catch your attention, there must be a justifiable reason for it."
"Is this the moment you're finally going to tell me what the hell am I doing here?"
"It might take a while before you have a full sense of it all but, in a nut shell, you're here because it's time you found out who you are, Katar... Kate." I knew I had to honor her request if I wanted her to play along with me.
"So you're sticking to this ridiculous story? You're still saying that I forgot who I am? That I am this Katarina you are looking for?"
"You did, and you are."
"And you think you're the right person to make me remember my true identity? You? The man with a thousand names?"
"My name is Andrew, Kate. Search your memories. Does that name sound familiar?"
"No." She answered too quickly, but I wasn’t expecting any promising results so early in the process, so I wasn’t disappointed by it.
"That's not a problem. I'm sure it will come to you later on."
"Maybe it will, Andrew, but maybe it won't. After all, I know myself. I know where I came from and I know the story of my life. Frankly, between the two of us, it seems that my grip on reality is slightly stronger than yours." Her smile threatened to reveal my true feelings for her.
The first twenty-four hours of her abduction had passed. Those were critical hours and my plan so far had succeeded smoothly and with no unforeseen obstacles in the way.
No representative of the law enforcement agencies tried to contact me and it actually seemed that the connection I managed to create with Katarina, before removing her blindfold, allowed her to converse with me without worrying about her safety, even after discovering who I really was.
"I hope you know that I really am sorry about all this, Kate."
"Oh really?" The cynicism was so evident in her tone.
"Yes, really. If there was any another way, I would have taken it. But, unfortunately, I had to take you here and am going to have to keep you for a while. I know that sucks so… I'm sorry."
"You're supposed to be sorry, Andrew. You kidn
apped me and now you’re holding me against my will." She crossed her arms and growled at me, the way she did a very long time ago whenever I told her that she'd understand things better when she grew up.
"I swear I didn't have any other choice," I giggled at her insulted expression, "but if it helps to calm your anger, I meant everything I said before I removed the blindfold from your eyes. I'm not interested in asking for ransom, nor am I going to hurt you in any way."
"You?" she burst out laughing. "If I had any doubts about it before, they faded away once I saw who you are, Andrew the psycho."
"You probably said that with the intent to offend me, Kate, but have you asked yourself why you feel so safe and comfortable around me? Why is it that I never gave you the creeps? Why are you not afraid of me?"
"You're just... How can I phrase this...? Ah…" she paused. "I'm trying not to hurt your feelings, but you're not a scary person, Andrew. I'm sure this isn’t the first time someone has said that about you."
"It's not," I smiled.
"Well, there you go. If my guess is correct, you were probably bullied all through high school, spending half of it with your head shoved down the toilet or in the library, like the other weirdos, planning my wrongful abduction."
"I liked it better when your jokes were about the size of my cock. This new line of insults is a bit too accurate for my liking." I made my saddest face at her in hopes she would never mention adolescence again. It had been a very difficult and challenging period for me, one which I had since wiped out of my mind all together.
"Andrew, I say this with the deepest sympathy I have for you, I think you should end this unfortunate incident before someone else ends it for you. I'm afraid that, if that happens, you'll have to share the raisin you call a cock with your cellmate for a very long time."
Though I was glad the genitalia humor prevailed, I knew that the time for witty wrangling had passed. My identity was known and Katarina was relaxed and cooperative, so it was the right moment to start asking her about her childhood memories.
"Do you want some coffee?" I stood up, changing the topic drastically while smiling at her. "I can make you a latte, big, weak, with soy milk, just like I always do."
"That would be great," she replied. "Make it to-go please!" she added as I started to walk out of the room.
"That's a wish I can't grant." I turned to her, "But I'll immediately bring you your order, ma'am." This time I made sure she saw I bowed at her, before I turned my back to her and went into the kitchen.
Soon enough, I found myself facing the coffee machine with a happy smile on my face. I’d spent my whole life fantasizing about making her coffee in the morning after waking up together, and though her hands were still tied to the bed, I was very pleased with her reactions so far. So pleased, I wondered if I could skip several stages of my plan and release both her hands today rather than in two days, as I had planned to do.
When I returned to her room, I surprised her in the middle of a failed attempt to loosen her bindings. I guess I got the answer to my question.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kate," I expressed nothing but my understanding that she wanted to run away. "If you haven’t finished trying to escape, I can come back later."
"Andrew, let me go right now!" She sounded angry.
"I told you, Kate. I can't do that."
"Why? You're going to let me go eventually, right?"
"You're smart, but not that smart," I chuckled dismissively. "I can't let you go yet, but I'm willing to cut a deal with you."
"Three more questions? Again with the sincere and truthful answers? Your mother didn’t hug you when you were a child, right?" I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the painful issues she kept bringing up and strained to go on indifferently.
"This new deal is different. I'll release one of your hands, just so you can sip your coffee pleasantly, but in return, you'll listen to me."
"I just need to listen?"
"You need to listen quietly. You need to hear me out with an open mind and without shouting your instinctive responses."
"What, like… Am I not allowed to ask questions?"
"That very question indicates that you do not have the ability to not ask questions. What I meant is that you're not allowed to dismiss what you hear outright. You need to listen to me. Really listen to me. Can you do that, Katarina?"
"Kate, Andrew. My name is Kate," she corrected my slip of the tongue. "And I accept your offer, now release one of my hands."
"And you'll really listen to me?"
"Yes, Andrew. I'm so excited to hear what you have to say." She shook her hands slightly and rolled her eyes at me, emphasizing that she hadn’t meant a word she said.
"Which hand do you need free in order for you to drink your coffee?"
"The same one that will be used to slap you across your face."
"If so," I put the coffee cup on the bedside table next to her and released her right hand from the binding. "Come on, do it. Slap me as hard as you wish, so we can start talking and you can enjoy your coffee."
I intentionally didn’t rush out of her range, even though I could easily have done so. Instead, I leaned towards her, squinted and prepared myself for the blow I believed I deserved, but it never came.
When I heard her sipping her coffee, I opened my eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. I saw that she relished in yet another delicious cup of coffee I made with love and I knew she was open and ready to hear what I was dying to tell her.
"You know? When we were kids, I used to prepare grape juice for you. Now, its coffee."
"You made grape juice for Katarina, Andrew. Not for me."
"You promised you'd keep an open mind, and the first thing you do is close yourself to the possibility I'm right."
"An open mind doesn’t mean being delusional."
"Do you want to drink your coffee with a straw and two hands cuffed or do you want to listen to me?"
"I want to help you. Honestly, I want to admit you into a hospital for very cute mentally disturbed patients."
"Is that a real thing? Because it sounds like a fitting place for me."
"I hope it is, but don’t worry. We'll find a place for you. We'll make you better."
The relaxed conversation between us allowed me to breathe freely and to find the nerve to begin the next stage of my plan.
"I've been looking for you my whole life, Kate."
"You said that before, but do you realize how sad it is, that you looked for me just to find out that you were wrong and… Oops, sorry. There I am, being negative again. Go on." She caught the warning glance I had sent her and closed her mouth again.
"You're the reason I enrolled in psychology studies and you're the reason I specialized in the psychology of kidnappers and hostage situations."
"Ah, is that what you're trying to do? You're trying to implement some psychological theory on me, so I'll fall in love with you or something like that? What's that called? Stockholm Syndrome?"
"I don’t need some fancy psychological theory, smart-ass. Any uneducated idiot can see that you are falling hopelessly in love with me, Katari... Kate."
"That's really hard for you, huh?" her expression changed.
"What is?"
"Accepting the fact that I am Kate and not Katarina." She completely ignored my declaration of her love for me.
"It's not easy, but I respect your request."
"How noble and dignified of you." She rolled her eyes at me. Again.
"Spoken like a truly confused and amazing woman, Kate."
I got up and walked nervously back and forth, from one end of the little room we were in to another. I hoped that, just as the removal of her blindfold had occurred in the right time and was a success, the exposure of my plan would also achieve the desired result.
"Kate, there are things about your life which I know and you have forgotten. The meticulous steps I’ve planned will help you remember who you were. Hopefully, who you are still."
"What's going
to happen at each stage?"
"Have you ever heard of guided imagery?"
"It sounds like some kind of hypnosis."
"It's not." I smiled as I realized I had gotten her attention. "Guided imagery is an approach to short-term psychotherapy. It is achieved through visualization and by gaining control of different brain functions, thus accessing..."
"You sound like Wikipedia, Andrew." She sipped some more of her coffee. "You promised we'd speak clear English today." She made me laugh.
"In simple terms, I've specialized in therapy that is supposed to help you raise unconscious thoughts into consciousness. It's not hypnosis, and you will remain in full control at all times, but it is important that you cooperate with me so that I may guide you through the safe memory paths you are ready to face."
"How will you do that?" I guessed her expression as panicked.
"Don’t worry, Kate, it's very simple. We'll talk, I'll bring up things, feelings, ideas, pictures, and we'll decide on the next step according to your associative reactions."
"I'm not sure I understand." She frowned at me and took another sip of her coffee. "Explain it again in simpler terms."
"What I'm suggesting is that we try to control that extraordinary brain of yours. We'll take a deep breath, relax and release the sharp senses by letting you..."
"That's hypnosis, Andrew," she waved her had at me. "You want to poke my mind while I'm out so you can plant thoughts and I'm not going to play along with that."
"It's not hypnosis." I was so frustrated. "Maybe when you finally grow up you'll understand that there are some things I know better than you."
"What did you just say?" Something in her eyes changed.
"I am trying to say that I just want to talk to you, Kate. I want to raise questions hoping you'll see for yourself that you will not find the answers for them alone."
"Me not having answers to your silly questions? That's unlikely. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I'm very smart."
"Well, in this case, I'm smarter than you. You're not going to find the answers alone, but they're there. With my guidance through your thoughts, the answers will be easily revealed."
"I think it would be simpler if you told me what you wanted me to discover deep inside of me."