by Melinda Minx
I let go of his hand. He looked at me with a somewhat perplexed expression, but put his hand on his thigh and nodded.
“I’ve got a few years to catch up on,” Silas said, “it’s so cool seeing all the stuff he can do. He knew the word ‘canal,’ I didn’t know four-year-olds knew that word.”
“When he gets like this,” she said, pointing to him, “you let him do it and give yourself a chance to chill. When you’re with him all day, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
“Wound treatment,” he said, “what piqued your interest in that specialty?”
He grinned and reached a hand up to his chest. He scratched his nipple through his shirt and winked at me.
I laughed. “Coincidentally it was just something I was always interested in. To be perfectly honest, that little hook in your nipple barely counted as a wound.”
“It was the most serious injury I’d ever suffered.”
“Then you’re a very lucky man.”
He looked over toward Elijah, and then back at me. His eyes went from “cool blue” to “smoldering blue,” which was some type of magic, because the actual color didn’t change. “I am a very lucky man. Up until yesterday I thought I had everything and was still unhappy. Then you and Elijah showed up, and I realized that I’d had nothing all along.”
I bit my lip. “I...I don’t know what the protocol is for this.”
“Protocol? Did you become a doctor or a CIA agent?”
“Doctors use protocols too. Do you have any idea what it should be? Our protocol?”
“I’m not a protocol guy. I fly by the seat of my pants most of the time. I just do what feels right.” He frowned and shook his head. “Almost always. Apparently when it counted five years ago, I didn’t make the right call.”
I shook my head. “That was my fault. I made it pretty clear I was leaving and that we were done.”
“I should have been more assertive.”
“Then maybe I wouldn’t have liked you. Maybe we’d have messed things up back then? Maybe this is how it was meant to be?”
“And how is that?” he asked.
I realized he was closer now. I could see each grain of stubble on his square jaw. His eyes were still very much smoldering.
“That’s where the protocol would come in,” I said.
My hands were in my pockets again, but they were sweaty, clammy, and trembling.
“Like I said,” Silas said, “I tend to just do what feels right in the moment.”
I scooted a little bit away from him, and he smiled with his tongue between his perfectly white teeth. “So kissing isn’t in the protocol. Got you.”
I looked up at him through my lashes, unable to help but smiling. “Maybe kissing can be in there, but I’m trying to talk to you about the big picture plan...before we start going step-by-step.”
“Is this going to be an actual spiral-bound book? I’m CEO of a publishing house, so if you want a fancy leather binding or something, I could make that happen.”
“It’s not going to be a book. It’s just in our heads.”
“Good. Putting rules for kissing into a book kind of cramps my style.”
“You can spend time with him whenever you want,” I said, “if you want to spend a day with him alone, for instance, just let me know in advance and I’ll make sure it’s all set to work.”
He shook his head. “I want to spend time with Elijah. But I want to spend time with you too. All of us together.”
I thought about dumping all of my concerns and worries onto him right then and there, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He was smiling—a real smile, with his eyes—every time he looked over at Elijah. Or at me. This was his first day with his son, and I didn’t want to unload a bunch of doom and gloom on him right now.
“We’ll worry about the protocol later then. You’re right, we should just do it more your style for now. Just do what feels right.”
His smile went from wide and genuine to boyish and mischievous. “I’ve already got an idea for the next thing we can do together.”
12
Silas
It had been a few days since I’d seen Emily and Elijah.
The aquarium had gone great. We’d eaten tacos afterward, and then we’d gone to the park, but at the end of the day we’d gone our separate ways.
I was a little bit nervous about Emily’s talk of “protocols.” I wasn’t the kind of guy who did big, long-term plans, but since I was a dad now, I probably needed to eat my medicine and start doing stuff like that. Emily was probably nervous because she hadn’t planned to run into me and spill the beans to me.
She had thought she was coming back to be a doctor, not to reconnect with me and suddenly have to figure out how to navigate my relationship with Elijah and my relationship with her.
The relationship with Elijah, at least to me, seemed straightforward. I was his dad. I wanted the job. I was here to stay for him, and that was that.
With her, it was another thing entirely. Well, for her. Ever since I’d seen her again, I knew that I wanted her back. I wanted to be a dad for Elijah, and I wanted to be a man for Emily. Maybe not “husband” right away, but sooner rather than later.
I could sense she was nervous about that. She’d figured out how to get by on her own. She had been doing the single mom thing, and it had been working out. Now here was me, something of a wildcard.
“Did I do it right, uncle Silas?” Naomi asked me.
I realized I hadn’t even been paying attention to her, but she was smiling, and so I just smiled back and nodded. “You did great. Do it ten more times. Come get me when you’re done.”
We were at the dojo, and Emily and Elijah were due to arrive any minute now. When Dennis wasn’t having official classes, he let Naomi and me use the dojo for private training. I’d extended that invitation to Emily and Elijah. I kept checking the window, hoping to see them coming.
Then they came.
I opened the door and met them outside. Elijah ran up to me. I gave him a hug and smiled up at Emily.
“Do I get a Jiu Jitsu costume?” Elijah asked me.
“It’s not a costume, buddy. We call it a ‘gi,’ and yeah, I’ve got one for you inside.”
Elijah ran inside in front of us.
Emily was wearing tight jeans and a blouse that really showed off her breasts. Motherhood had definitely made them bigger. I knew I was staring a bit too much, but I couldn’t make myself look away.
“Do I get a gi too?” she asked, blushing when she caught me checking her out.
“I got you one too. I hope the top is big enough though,” I grinned at her, and brazenly took another look at her chest.
“Are you calling me fat, Silas?”
“What? No, I was saying you had big…”
She burst out laughing.
“Okay, yeah, I guess that didn’t sound good either, did it?”
“I got an extra cup size from Elijah,” she smiled at me in a way that told me I was very likely to get to see first-hand how much bigger they’d gotten. Hopefully that was somewhere in the protocol.
When I got back inside, I saw Naomi had come up to stop Elijah from coming into the dojo with his shoes on. She was helping him to get them off.
“You cannot wear your shoes in the dojo, little cousin Elijah.”
“Why not?”
“Because shoes are dirty, and it disrespects the dojo.”
“What’s a dojo?”
“It’s where we train. This is the dojo.” She pointed into the dojo, which was covered in mats. There were various pieces of equipment along the walls, like large sticks, punching bags, and jump ropes.
“It’s like a gym,” I said, crouching down to Elijah’s level, “we train barefoot. Hopefully you don’t have stinky feet.”
Elijah laughed. “Stinky feet! Stinky feet!”
“Barefoot?” Emily asked. “Can I wear socks?”
I shook my head at her. “I’ll come help you get into your gi, Elijah.”
/> I had Elijah and Emily’s gi on the table. I handed Emily’s to her, and I leaned in close to her as she took it from me. “I can help you get into—or out—of yours, if you need it.”
She laughed it off and rolled her eyes at me, but I could tell I was definitely already under her skin. She wouldn’t be able to fight it much longer.
I went with Elijah into the locker room. He was bouncing up and down with excitement. “I’m gonna Jiu Jitsu you, Daddy!”
“I’m going to have you practice with Naomi first while I teach Mommy. After Naomi teaches you a few moves, then you can try to Jiu Jitsu me some.”
I got the gi out and held it up. “Here’s your gi. Can you get out of your clothes by yourself?”
“Yeah. Watch!”
He pulled his jacket off, threw it on the floor, and started ripping his shirt off. I picked the jacket up and put it in a locker, and then I helped him with his pants when they got stuck on his heel. He put the gi pants on, and then I helped him with the top I tied the strings on the top and had Elijah check himself out in the mirror.
“Now we are both the cool Jiu Jitsu guys,” Elijah said, nodding in approval.
I tousled his hair and gave him a thumbs up. “You do look very, very cool.”
“When do I get a black belt?”
I tapped on his belt. “You start out with a white one. It will take years to get a black one. If you keep practicing hard for a few months, you’ll earn a yellow one.”
I took him out of the locker room and into the dojo. Naomi was excited to see us, and she took Elijah by the hand. “I get to teach him!”
“Can you teach him to do rolls?”
“Of course, Uncle Silas.”
I watched as Naomi took Elijah to the end of the dojo, and started showing him how to roll. Rolling was a big part of beginner lessons. White belts had to be able to roll across the entire dojo in a straight line, alternating from their right to left shoulder. Adults usually found it boring or tedious, but kids loved it. Elijah and Naomi were giggling as they both rolled across the dojo. Elijah started veering off to the side, so I followed him along and tapped him back on track if he veered too far off-course.
Emily came out two or three minutes into the rolling practice. Her belt was crooked, and her gi was lopsided.
“I couldn’t get it on right,” she said.
“Mommy! Look! Look! I’m a Jiu Jitsi guy!”
“Aw,” she said, “you look so cute!”
“No! I look cool. Daddy said it.”
I nodded and shot him another thumbs up.
Emily smiled. “Okay, you’re right. You look cool, but still cute.”
“I’m rolling!”
He did a roll toward her.
“Nice,” she said, then looked up at me, “I don’t have to roll, do I?”
“If you let me fix your gi, I’ll spare you the rolling. For today at least.”
“What’s wrong with my gi?”
Without giving her time to protest, I fell in right behind her. I grabbed her by the waist with one hand, and by her belt with the other. I untied her belt and put it over my shoulder. Then I undid the ties on the inside of her gi and pulled on the gi to shift it to be straight. It didn’t quite straighten because it was tucked in too tight. “Do you mind?” I asked, reaching toward the waistline of her pants.
“Uhh,” she stammered, but didn’t protest, so I went ahead and put my hand down there. Not to touch her panties or anything—though I was certainly wishing that’s what I was doing down there—but to reorient her gi so it was straight. I let go of the waistline until it snapped back, and then I redid the ties. She was pressed up against me now. I was having to mentally force myself not to get hard.
“Try the belt again yourself,” I said. My voice was almost as stiff as my dick.
I talked her through it, and the end result was more or less symmetrical. “Alright, cool, now you look like a real Jiu Jitsu guy.”
“Look Elijah!” she said, waving to him as he rolled with Naomi. “I’m a Jiu Jitsu guy now.”
He shot her a thumbs up, then rolled again.
“I’m going to teach you some holds,” I said, “come here.”
We took a spot on the mats that was out of the path of the kids rolling into us. I had Emily stand across from me.
“You’re over a foot shorter than me and half my weight,” I said.
“No need to rub it in, Silas.”
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m just pointing out the fact that traditional wisdom would say you couldn’t ever so much as move me. Just try it.”
“Try what?”
“Try to move me.”
“I’ll trust the traditional wisdom and just agree that I cannot move you.”
“Come on, Emily, try it.”
She sighed and gave me a half-hearted shove. I was in a wide stance, and she didn’t move me an inch.
“Really try it,” I said.
I planted myself lower down, and when she came at me with both hands, I leaned forward. She really tried to shove me over this time, but I tightened my muscles and leaned into her, distributing the pressure she put onto me evenly between both of my legs. She planted her feet and pushed with all her strength, but I just leaned back into her, and she couldn’t budge me.
“Alright,” she said, backing off, “you’re stronger than me. Congrats.”
I shook my head and grabbed her by the wrist. “I’m not done proving my point. Come here.”
I pulled her right next to me and pointed at the ground right behind my heel. “Put your foot right here.”
“Like this?” She planted her foot behind me.
“Yes, but move closer so you’re really making contact on the back of my ankle.”
She moved it closer in until our skin was touching. “I hope neither of us have stinky feet.”
“Okay,” I said, “Now really try to shove me.”
She tried again, and despite me trying my best to push back, the leverage that her foot gave her made it impossible, and my leg gave out. I fell back and crashed down onto the mat.
“You let me do that,” she said, mouth hanging agape.
“I didn’t.” I jumped up back to my feet. “Jiu Jitsu is all about leverage. The point I was making is that even someone half my size can take me down, with the right technique.”
Her face lit up. “Okay, that is pretty cool.”
“I’m going to teach you a few more techniques, and by the time we leave, you’ll be able to throw me.”
“You must weigh over 200 pounds.”
“You will be able to throw me, Dr. Emily.”
“Couldn’t you just have stopped me from putting my foot there?”
“Of course. If this had been sparring or competition, I’d never have let you get your foot in like that. If you ever needed Jiu Jitsu for self defense though, any man attacking you is going to assume you’re helpless, and he’s not going to know to stop you from doing that.”
I showed her how to do some basic hold breaks, and then I had her practice the holds on me. I trained her in different stances, and worked with her until I thought she was ready to throw me.
Elijah and Naomi were jump-kicking the punching bag. Every ten or fifteen seconds I heard one of them shout, and then their body flopped onto the mat after they bounced off the bag and plummeted down onto the mat. They were laughing the whole time.
“Are you ready to throw me?” I asked.
“I’ll try,” she said.
“Good attitude. But this is going to work. Just watch.”
“Grab me here,” I said, pointing to a point on my gi.
Emily reached forward and grabbed hold of the cloth between my chest and shoulder, just where I’d shown her to.
I put a hand on hers and squeezed. I grinned at her and locked eyes with her. “Grab me a lot tighter than that.”
I felt the veins in her hand pop as she tightened her grip.
“Good. Now without letting go or lo
osening your grip, step forward and bring your other arm over my neck.”
“Like this?” She grabbed me just like I showed her.
I adjusted her foot a little bit, until it was pressed right up behind my ankle.
“My foot is kind of like it was before,” she said.
Now I was up against her back, and her arm was around my neck.
“Exactly. Leverage. Now you’re going to just bend over without letting that grip go. Do it fast and hard.”
She laughed. “Bend over fast and hard? With you pressed up against my back?”
I laughed. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Emily.”
Very much to my surprise, she bent over as hard and fast as she could. She gave me no warning, and because she did it with no hesitation and with all of her strength, it worked like a charm. I couldn’t have stopped her even if I’d been ready. I slid up along her back as she bent down, and the next thing I knew I was crashing onto the mat on my back.
“Holy shit!” Emily shouted. She covered her mouth as her eyes widened. “I mean holy shoot!”
I laughed as I stood up. Elijah and Naomi had stopped goofing around and looked over to see what happened.
“Did you beat up Daddy?” Elijah asked.
“I threw him! Silas...can I do it again to show Elijah?”
I nodded. “Of course. You want to practice this a lot so it becomes muscle memory.”
I let her throw me a few more times. Elijah got a real fucking kick out of it. When we stopped to take a break, Elijah came up to me and put both of his pointer fingers together. He asked me in a very timid voice. “Daddy, is it my turn?”
“Your turn?”
“Can I Jiu Jitsu you?”
“Ah! Of course. Now, you are much smaller than me, so even with a lot of leverage it’s not safe for you to throw me. At least not alone. Naomi, come here.”
Naomi ran over and nodded.
“Can you think of a way to take me down? With Elijah helping you?”
She gave a determined nod. “I think so.”
“Go tell Elijah your plan, and then you two come at me.”
I watched as Naomi took Elijah by the hand, looking suspiciously over her shoulder at me. She started whispering into his ear when they were far enough away from me to not be heard.