Anything Is Possible

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Anything Is Possible Page 6

by Elizabeth Strout


  “Talk low,” they heard Yvonne say. “I’ve got you on speakerphone while I unpack. I mean, this guest house, or room, or whatever it is, is miles away, but you never know. Jeeze.”

  “Hey, honey child.” Unmistakably the voice of Karen-Lucie Toth. “You okay?”

  “No,” said Yvonne. Her voice was muffled; she was facing away, pulling things from her suitcase. “It’s creepy here, Karen-Lucie. How’m I ever going to sleep?”

  “Take a pill, honey. You know, I think I heard they got all their money from his father, who was in plastics. What’s that mean, I wonder, to be in plastics? The weirdos you’re staying with. They’re in plastics. Can you take a pill, baby doll?”

  “Yeah, I will.” As Yvonne spoke, she sat on the bed and rummaged through her bag, and Linda and Jay watched her squint at a pill bottle, which she opened. Then she brought from the same bag two small bottles of wine, the type that could be purchased on an airplane. She unscrewed the top from one and tilted it back. “I know you’re tired,” she said. “I’m really okay.” She added, “That Tom, or Tomasina, his wife doesn’t mind?”

  “Not as long as he does it away from home and without the kids around.”

  “I’d mind.”

  Karen-Lucie said, “But if you really loved him—”

  “Maybe I wouldn’t mind, I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Good night. I love you.”

  “Love you too, baby.”

  Linda glanced at her husband’s profile. She said, “She didn’t even shower, and she traveled all day.”

  Jay put a finger to his lips and nodded. Linda rose then and left the room to sleep across the hall, as she always did. Ever since her daughter moved away, saying those awful things about her, Linda had slept away from her husband.

  Seven years earlier a young woman in town had disappeared. She was a sophomore in high school and a cheerleader and also she babysat for the families of the Episcopalian church of which her family was a member. So there were many people to investigate and of course the town was in dreadful distress. A deep resentment of the media—which swarmed the town with an almost biblical descent of cameras and large furry microphones and trucks with huge satellite dishes that scooped at the air—the resentment of this united most people, but then strange alliances formed and ruptured according to what theory was popular that day, for example, when the Driver’s Ed teacher was thought to be a suspect—that really divided people. And then there were a few who said the girl had actually run away, that nobody knew the terrible things that took place in her home, and this added to the dismay and horror that her poor parents and siblings endured. For two years the town lived this way.

  During this time Linda Peterson-Cornell existed with a confusing disc of darkness deep inside her chest, and as she watched her husband read the news reports, and follow the case on TV, she often broke out in a sweat. She thought she had to be crazy. She could not imagine why her body was reacting this way, why her mind itself could not stay calm. And then when it was over, finally, finally over, she forgot that she had felt this way. Only occasionally would she remember, but never with the visceral aspect of what she had actually gone through. And each time she remembered she thought: I’m a silly woman, I have nothing to complain about, not really, not like that, Jesus God.

  —

  The second night of the festival Linda sat reading in the living room with her husband, and Yvonne came through the front door and walked past them down the ramp to the lower floor. She flapped a hand as she went by. “G’night,” she called.

  “But how are you?” Jay called back. “How’s the teaching going?”

  “Fine!” This was said from downstairs. “Got an early class. Good night,” she called again. They could hear the very faint sound of the shower—not long—and they sat reading in the living room for another two hours.

  In the middle of the night—through the shield of her sleeping pill—Linda was aware of her husband in the shower. It was not unusual, particularly, but it gave Linda a sense of unease; it always did, and tonight reminded her of what she had felt seven years before. Just the relief of that time now being over allowed her to fall back into sleep.

  Each night Karen-Lucie and Yvonne went to the bar that played live music. Each night they asked Tomasina if he wanted to go with them, and each night Tomasina said no, he was going back to his room to call his wife and his kids and to read over the assignments for the next day. “He’s not a bad photographer,” Karen-Lucie told Yvonne. “If he loved it with his whole heart he might be really good. But he doesn’t love it with his whole heart. He just comes here because…”

  They nodded simultaneously, picking at the corn chips in the basket on the table. “Bless his soul,” Karen-Lucie added.

  “Totally. And his wife’s too.”

  “Hell yeah.” Karen-Lucie put a hand to her mouth. “Yvie, I was betrayed. Bee-trayed. I want you to know that.”

  Yvonne nodded.

  “That’s all I’m going to say.”

  Yvonne nodded again.

  “My heart is broken,” Karen-Lucie said.

  “I know that,” Yvonne said.

  “Broken. He broke my heart.” Karen-Lucie flicked a corn chip and it flew across the table.

  After a number of minutes went by, Yvonne asked, “Why do Joy’s eyes roll around when she’s talking to me?”

  “Oh. ’Cause her son killed a girl here years ago and buried her in the backyard and then finally told his mama. Yes, darlin’, I am serious.” Karen-Lucie nodded. “He’s in prison now for the rest of his life, however long or short that may be. Joy and her husband got divorced and her husband got all the money—they were rich but he got all the money—and Joy lives in a trailer now, outside of town, and if you go there you will see a photograph she has on her mantel, taken of her standing right next to her son, and she has her hand on his chest in this gesture of affection, but it covers up the numbers on his uniform so the photograph looks like he’s just wearing a dark blue shirt.”

  “God,” Yvonne said. “My God.”

  “I know.”

  “How old was he when he did this?”

  “Fifteen, I think. Sixteen? They charged him as an adult because he didn’t tell anyone for almost two years. Just left her buried in their backyard. If he’d told, he wouldn’t have gotten life. But he got life. Without parole.”

  “A dog didn’t dig up the body?”

  “No, ma’am, that did not happen. I guess he buried her deep enough.” Karen-Lucie held up two fingers. “Two years, and he says, Mama—I got to tell you something.”

  “What happened to the family of the girl?”

  “They moved. Joy’s ex-husband left too. Won’t have anything to do with his son at all. Wiped his hands clean. Joy goes every month to see her boy in Joliet.”

  Yvonne shook her head slowly, drew her fingers through her hair. “Whew,” she said.

  After a long silence, Karen-Lucie said, “I’m awful sorry you never had your kids, Yvie, I know you wanted kids so bad.”

  “Well,” said Yvonne. “You know.”

  “You’d have been a good mama, I do know that.”

  Yvonne looked at her friend. “It’s life. It’s all just friggin’ life.”

  “Yes, it is,” Karen-Lucie said. “Yes, it is.”

  The next morning, which was three mornings after she had first arrived, Yvonne Tuttle approached Linda at the kitchen sink. Linda had not known Yvonne was still in the house and she was startled to find the woman standing behind her as she washed her coffee cup. “Have you seen my white pajamas?” Yvonne asked with direct curiosity.

  “Why would I have seen your pajamas?” Linda placed the coffee cup in the drainer.

  “Well, because they’re missing. I mean, they’re just gone. And things don’t just go. If you see what I mean.”

  “I don’t.” Linda dried her hands on the dish towel.

  “Well, I mean my white pajamas that I put each morning beneath my pillow are gone.”
Yvonne made a sign with her arms, like an umpire calling it safe. “Gone. And they have to be somewhere, so I thought I’d ask. I mean, maybe the maid took them to wash them or something.”

  “The maid did not take your white pajamas.”

  Yvonne looked at her for a long moment. “Huh,” she said.

  Linda felt fury rising in her, almost uncontrollable. “We do not go stealing things in this house.”

  “I was just asking,” Yvonne said.

  During the last weekend of the festival a show was mounted in the same room at the former private high school where the welcoming reception had been. On one side were the faculty photographs, and on the other were student photographs. Yvonne stood with Karen-Lucie and Tomasina off to the side, watching people move slowly around the room. “I hate this,” Yvonne said.

  Tomasina switched his pocketbook to his other wrist. “Karen-Lucie, do you get used to people staring at your photographs? Look at the way that woman there is tilting her head, she’s wondering. Wondering what the cracked plates in your photos mean.”

  Karen-Lucie said, “They mean I’m cracked up.”

  Tomasina smiled with deep affection at Karen-Lucie. “You crack me up,” he said.

  “Sweetheart, I wanna take you home. You know, that lady’s a rich culture vulture, I can just tell by the back of her head. Shittin’ in high cotton, that girl. Just buy the damn thing.” Karen-Lucie turned away.

  “Oh God, she’s the woman whose house I’m in,” said Yvonne. “Oh, let’s go.”

  Karen-Lucie said, “Right now, baby doll.”

  The sun was very bright and they all three stood for a moment on the wooden porch, squinting. Tomasina reached for his sunglasses. “It’s hot,” he said. “I didn’t know it was so hot outside. I have my nylons on.”

  “They look nice,” Yvonne said. “You look nice.”

  “Doesn’t he always just look so nice?” Karen-Lucie made a kissing sound in Tomasina’s direction. “Lord, it is hotter than two rabbits screwin’ in a wool sock.”

  A man’s voice startled them from behind. “Girls and boys,” it said. It was Jay Peterson-Cornell. He had just stepped through the door they had walked through. “Had enough of your exhibit?” he asked. He held out his hand toward Karen-Lucie. “I’m Jay,” he said, and for a moment the sunlight glinted on his glasses, then his eyes came into view. “A real pleasure to meet you. Love your work.”

  “Thank you,” Karen-Lucie said.

  “Can I get you girls something cool to drink?”

  Karen-Lucie said, “We have an appointment, I’m afraid.”

  “I see.” Jay turned in the direction of Yvonne. “We haven’t seen much of you this week. Have you enjoyed yourself in our little town? Or do you find it dull compared to the funky scene of Tucson?”

  “I like your little town.” Yvonne felt sweat run down her back.

  “Come on, y’all. Nice to meet you, Mr. Jay.” Karen-Lucie moved to the steps, and Yvonne and Tomasina followed. The three of them walked single file through the pathway in the woods that led back toward town, and none of them spoke until they came to a clearing by the church.

  “I need a drink,” said Yvonne.

  —

  In the bar, Tomasina said, “He didn’t even acknowledge me, did you notice?”

  “ ’Course not, honey,” said Karen-Lucie. “He ain’t gonna acknowledge anyone he can’t do.”

  “I don’t know why he makes me feel creepy,” said Yvonne.

  “Because he is creepy. I’m telling you.” Karen-Lucie pointed her swizzle stick at Yvonne.

  “It’s not like he looks creepy. He looks normal.” Yvonne picked up a chip, put it back into the basket.

  Karen-Lucie let out a long sigh. “For a hundred years I waitressed in my youth, and, child, I got to know some things. I got to know men’s eyes.” Karen-Lucie tapped the swizzle stick to her cheekbone. “And this man, baby doll, thinks yew are a big old tall piece of trash, that’s what he thinks. He’d think the same about me, but I’ve won some a-wards, and he’d rather hang me on his wall. And when you win your a-wards, and you will, Yvie, he’ll want you on his wall beside his fuckin’ freezing cold Pee-casso. But right now he is sniffin’ your panties and tuckin’ your pretty white pajamas under his pillow each night.”

  Yvonne gave small nods. “Thank you.” She added, “I’m serious.”

  “I know you’re serious.”

  “Whoa,” said Tomasina. “This is sad stuff I’m hearing.”

  Karen-Lucie looked at Tomasina’s profile with a serious hard look. Then she put her hand on his and said, “You are to worry about nothing. You are doing just fine.”

  Linda and Jay Peterson-Cornell sat in the living room waiting up to speak to their houseguest. Every night she had come in later and later, and when she came in she always said “Hello, g’night” and kept right on walking down the ramp in her wedge-heeled sandals.

  The night after Jay and Linda had been to the exhibit, Jay said, “She doesn’t give us the time of day.”

  Without looking at him, turning the page of her magazine, Linda said, “When I first saw her I thought maybe you’d run off with her.”

  Jay laughed. “Did you? Because of her slightly slutty, kind of working-class look?”

  “I don’t think it’s just a look,” Linda said.

  “No. Clearly not.”

  Linda should have sensed—she did sense—her husband’s heightened state. She did not watch with him again the view of Yvonne in the bedroom or the bathroom. She did not mention to him that Yvonne had reported her white pajamas missing. On the last night of Yvonne’s stay, Linda sat with him in the living room, and toward midnight Yvonne came in. “You’ve been burning your candle at both ends,” Jay called out to her.

  “I have been. Sleep well,” Yvonne called back, disappearing down the ramp.

  “Would you come here for a moment, please?” Jay called. He stayed sitting and Linda sat next to him, holding a newspaper open on her lap.

  After a moment, Yvonne came back up the ramp. “Yes?” she said.

  “Have you a family?” Jay asked her. “Are you divorced?”

  “Am I divorced?”

  “That’s what I asked.”

  “Well. Jeeze.” Yvonne put a hand to her forehead. “There’s a conversation starter. Is that the first thing you usually ask middle-aged women when you meet them?”

  “You look divorced,” Jay said.

  Yvonne shook her head quickly in tiny gestures. “Okay. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed.”

  “You’ve stayed in our house for more than a week,” Linda said. “And you’ve never once had a conversation with us. You’ll understand if we feel—rebuffed. We opened our home to you.”

  “Oh. Okay. Yeah, I’m sorry.” This seemed to have hit home, and Linda sensed immediately how little confidence the woman really had. How her mother had probably tried to bring her up right but a desperation was inherited. Yvonne stepped into the living room. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I’ve just been really tired each night.”

  “Sit,” Jay said pleasantly, nodding toward a chair.

  The woman sat. Her legs were very long and the chair she sat in was low to the ground, so her knees stuck up like a cricket’s. Linda could see she was uncomfortable, and Linda was not sorry.

  “So tell us. You live in Arizona? Have you lived there long?” Linda asked.

  “Yeah,” said Yvonne. “Basically. You know, most of my adult life.”

  “Our daughter was thinking of moving to New Mexico, but she went east instead,” Jay said, smiling. “She lives in Boston now.”

  “Yeah? How old is she?”

  “She’s twenty-three and very much enjoying her independence from us. It’s natural at that age.” Jay was still smiling. “She has a twin brother who lives in Providence, and he’s enjoying his independence as well,” he added.

  “Karen-Lucie has done some wonderful work recently,” Linda said.

  “Hasn’t
she?” Yvonne sat forward, but her knees were too high so she had to sit back and stretch her legs out and she looked undeniably inviting. “The whole earthquake series. I think she’s brilliant. Those cracked plates.” Yvonne shook her head appreciatively, tried sitting up straight again.

  “Some artists are so competitive. Even with their friends,” Jay said. “But I guess you can be generous since your own work’s been successful. And rightly so, might I add.”

  “I’m sure you’re just generous anyway,” Linda said. She thought Yvonne looked wary. “Let me get us some wine,” she said. There was no doubt about what she felt. Jay had had his successes before, but Linda had never felt as complicit.

  In another twenty minutes Linda excused herself and went to bed.

  She listened intently, and fairly soon she heard Yvonne going downstairs and walking through the walkway to her room. The door to her husband’s room shut quietly, and Linda took her sleeping pill.

  —

  Somewhere in a dream Linda heard screaming; the sound was terrifying. “Honey,” said Jay. He was speaking to her from the doorway and her bedroom light was on. “There’s been a little issue.”

  Sitting up quickly, she was certain she heard the doorbell ring. She said, “Jay, I was just dreaming—”

 

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