by Mia Ford
“I know. You’re preaching to the choir, Alice.”
She sat down on a chair next to me and folded her hands together. “I’d love to actually hear from the choir, if you don’t mind.”
I looked at her, scoffed and rubbed my eyes.
“What?” she asked.
“Do you want to go all the way back to my childhood, doctor?”
“This isn’t funny, Chance.”
“Seems fucking hilarious from where I sit.”
She opened her mouth to say something, closed it and then leaned closer. “Talk to me.”
I looked at her again, and this time she wasn’t Alice, my loyal secretary and perpetual sidekick. The way she looked at me, it felt like her eyes were boring right into my soul, reading me without me having to say anything. It was a side of her I hardly saw, and it felt good to see it now. Like I actually had a friend, and not just someone who cared about where their next paycheck was coming from.
I sighed, sat up and licked my lips. “I could use a drink.”
“Not the wisest of choices, Chance,” Alice replied.
“A cigarette?”
“I threw them all out.”
“You what?” When she gave me a look that told me it would be better not to argue, I closed my eyes and laid my head back, and tried to gather my thoughts. “This fucking sucks.”
She didn’t reply at first, waiting for me to go on, and when it was clear I was just going to wallow in self-pity, she asked, “What happened in Ludwig?”
I winced at the mention of the town, but for the life of me couldn’t think of what to say.
“Chance?”
“I met someone,” I said quietly.
Alice eyed me for a minute before saying, “So? You meet people everywhere.”
I shook my head. “Not people, Alice. I mean, yeah, sure, I met people, but there was this one woman.” I hesitated. “Ashlyn Carter.”
Alice raised her eyebrows. “In two days? You picked someone up in two days? In a town the size of a football field?”
I chuckled at the look on her face. “Actually, she kind of picked me up,” I said. “She delivers flowers to the motel I was staying at. Beautiful as hell, funny, smart, ambitious.”
“Oh my God,” Alice smiled.
“What?”
“You fell for her.”
“I don’t fall for anyone,” I sighed.
“You son of a bitch, you do have feelings,” Alice chuckled, sitting back in her chair.
“Stop that,” I warned, pointing a finger at her.
She raised her hands in mock surrender. “Whatever you say, Casanova,” she smiled. “Did you sleep with her?”
“Alice!”
“Well, did you?”
I looked at her for a beat before nodding. She clapped her hands together and laughed. “You don’t waste time, do you?”
“It’s not like that,” I said, getting up and stretching, acting like I was looking out my office window, when I just didn’t want her to read into any expressions she might see on my face.
“Then please explain it to me,” Alice said. “Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like some small-town girl was able to catch and tame the wild Chance Ridder.”
“You’re over-exaggerating it,” I said.
“Would that be so bad?”
I turned to her, frowning. “What do you mean?”
Alice got up and crossed the room, leaning against the window and folding her arms across her chest. “Why are you fighting it?”
“I’m not fighting anything,” I said.
“Sure you are,” she argued. “There’s no way Chance Ridder would actually fall in love. No, Chance Ridder’s too good for love. Chance Ridder doesn’t need love in his life. He has everything else anyway.”
“Okay, I get your point.”
“Do you? Because I have a feeling you’re playing this down as much as possible, as if it didn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I confirmed. “Not anymore.”
“Not anymore?”
I sighed, hesitated, then finally said, “I asked her to come to Austin.”
“You did what?” Alice almost screamed, her smile reaching from one ear to the other, her eyes wide. “No way. So, I was right! You did fall for a girl!”
“Like I said, it doesn’t matter,” I pushed back. “She said no. She doesn’t want to leave Ludwig.”
Alice rested her head against the window and whistled. “Wow,” she said. “That must have hurt.”
“Can we push past the fact that you think I’m in the middle of some high school crush?” I asked. “I met Ashlyn, liked her a lot, asked her to move back with me, and she refused. End of story. There’s nothing more there.”
“Then why are you acting like a child who can’t get to the cookie jar?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I mean, it explains a lot,” Alice said. “The way you looked when I picked you up, the outbursts, the fact that you punched Dennis as if you’d caught him sleeping with your wife.”
“He did worse than that.”
“Be that as it may,” Alice countered, “you are definitely not yourself. And it’s pretty clear why.”
I didn’t answer her, but a part of me knew she had a point. I had believed I could somehow bottle my feelings until I solved things in the company. I had convinced myself that I could push Ashlyn back to the darkest recesses of my mind, handle my business, and then circle back to her, if I wanted to. But she had been on my mind all through the drive back, last night and even this morning. I couldn’t stop thinking about her, and in a way, I didn’t feel like that was so bad.
It was definitely throwing me off my game, but it wasn’t bad.
I rapped my knuckles on the thick glass, watching the lights of Austin and wondering if the stars outside Ashlyn’s house were this beautiful tonight.
“Well, it’s all under the rug now. No use talking about it.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” I asked. “I just told you, she doesn’t want to come to Austin.”
“And when has that ever stopped you?” Alice asked. “For as long as I’ve known you, the one thing I could always bet my money on was if Chance Ridder wanted something, he would go through hell or high storm to get it.”
“You can force someone to move from their home, Alice.”
“Then bring home to her.”
I frowned at her, wondering what the hell she was talking about. The look on my face must have been amusing, because Alice laughed and shook her head at me.
“You saved your company today, Chance,” she said. “And did away with the guy who was trying to screw you over. If anybody can convince some silly country girl to move to Austin to live with a billionaire, it’s you.”
“Again, it’s not that easy.”
“Then you’re a fool,” she said.
“Not helping.”
“If she doesn’t want to leave Ludwig, then why don’t you go there?” Alice asked.
“Are you out of your mind?” I scoffed. “Look what happened when I left for a couple of days. You want me to relocate?”
“Not relocate,” she said. “Commute. You don’t have to be here every day, and you don’t have to be there every day. In a couple of weeks, everything here will be back to normal, and you can plan it all better. Maybe even set up an operational branch out of Ludwig.”
“Business advice, Alice? Really?”
“Relationship advice,” she replied, “because you sound like you have no idea what to do beyond the skimpy brunette or the bimbo blonde you’re used to screwing around with.”
I smiled.
“Think about it,” she said. “We already have a unit in Houston. Open a smaller one in Ludwig. Better yet, build a company retreat there so you can write it all off. I doubt the cost would even put a dent into the company’s finances.”
No, it wouldn’t, and she wasn’t too far off. The only prob
lem was, I had no idea if Ashlyn would want to pursue anything even if I did return to Ludwig. She had made it pretty clear that she was angry at me, and for some reason, she seemed like the kind of girl who didn’t easily forgive and forget. No matter how she felt about me.
Then call her and find out.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
“Sure you will,” Alice said. “Just call her tomorrow, okay? You’ve been through enough today, and your mood doesn’t necessarily promise affection.”
“I said, I’ll think about it, that’s all,” I lied, and I could tell she knew. “Let’s just get this Dennis thing out of the way.”
“You’re the boss,” Alice said, placing an encouraging hand on my arm and squeezing gently. “Just don’t screw this up because you’re scared to take a chance, okay? Worst case scenario, a little heartbreak might actually bring out your humane side.” I laughed, and she rubbed my shoulder and turned to leave. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
She was almost out of the office when I remembered something. “By the way, we might need to meet with the lawyers in the morning again.”
“Why?”
“I may have to deal with another lawsuit,” I said. “I kinda went to town on a guy in Ludwig, and he’s probably going to sue.”
“No lack of excitement for you,” Alice said. “What happened?”
“He started it,” I smiled. “I finished it.”
“Chance?”
“Ashlyn’s ex-husband wasn’t too fond of the two of us hanging out together,” I explained. “He tried to show me how displeased he was, and I showed him how much I didn’t care.”
Alice smiled. “And you said you don’t fall for anyone?”
“Good night, Alice,” I said, turning to look back at the skyline. “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”
“Good night, Chance. I’m glad you’re home.”
* * *
I woke up the next morning to a message from Alice saying that the lawyers thought it would be in my best interest if I did not show up in the office today. Followed by a promise that everything was under control, she ended the message with a little reminder that I had some calls to make and plans to think about in regard to future business expansion in Ludwig, Texas.
I knew what she was talking about, and honestly felt like I could use a day of solitude, but the mere fact that I would be alone with my thoughts for hours until she came back to me with an update worried me. I eyed my bar, contemplated whether or not to make myself a drink, then decided that it was a little too early for that.
I spent most of the day lounging around on the couch. My phone was on silent, the constant notifications bothering me, and I had decided to ignore calls from numbers I didn’t know after the first two proved to be reporters bombarding me with questions. Around midday, Alice sent me a message about preparing a statement for the press, and I gratefully took to the task with vigor.
The truth was, since the moment I had gotten out of bed, I could not stop thinking of Ashlyn.
I finished my press statement a lot faster than I had anticipated and emailed it in, knowing well that Alice would probably hack away at it until it was ‘press appropriate’. With that I made my way into the kitchen, rummaged through the refrigerator and pantry, and began to cook. I had given Pauline the day off, and even though it was nice to not have anyone bothering me, I felt odd having to do things for myself for once. I had always loved to cook, but with how much time the company took from me, that little hobby had died away with most of everything else. I slowly began to get into the rhythm of things, humming as I worked.
I ate my lunch alone, every now and then checking my phone and convincing myself that I just wanted to make sure I didn’t miss anything important. The reality, of course, was that a part of me was hoping Ashlyn would contact me, a message, maybe a call, anything to let me know that I wasn’t the only one wondering if there was still a chance to make whatever it was we had work. I brought up her contact two or three times, but never could bring myself to do anything more than stare at her picture before swiping back to the main menu.
You’re going to give yourself a heart attack just by thinking about it.
Which was true. I had never been this flustered in my life, never this unsure as to whether or not I should do something. What was the worst that could happen? That she wouldn’t answer? And what if she did? Wouldn’t that at least give me some closure, one way or the other?
It was driving me crazy.
Fighting the urge to pour myself another drink, I decided I’d take a walk around the block to get my mind off things. Besides, it was a good start to what should have been the beginning of my exercise regimen. I got dressed in running gear I had not used in forever, took the elevator downstairs, and stepped out into the warm breeze of the late afternoon.
The walk proved fruitless, though. No matter how much I tried to busy myself with my surroundings, staring at products I didn’t need in store windows or making small talk with the barista while ordering coffee, I still couldn’t get my mind off Ashlyn. I imagined her in her green house, checking off orders on her pad, driving that truck of hers to the motel and other stops to deliver flowers, arranging lilies in rooms where I no longer stayed in. I pictured her at the diner, eating a burger by herself, maybe having a cup of coffee before making the drive back home and calling it a day.
And I imagined her smile. Her eyes, looking at me from over her shoulder. Her blonde locks framing her face and glowing in the morning sun. I imagined her touch on my arm, the way her head fit perfectly against my shoulder, and her entire body seemed like a puzzle piece that connected seamlessly with mine. I imagined her kissing me, sighing against my lips, melting in my grip. I imagined what it would be like to wake up next to her every day.
My phone ringing brought me back from my reverie, and I balanced my coffee cup on a park fence while I answered.
“Where are you?” Alice asked, sounding tired yet cheerful enough to give me hope.
“Out for a run, well, a walk,” I said. “Needed to stretch my legs.”
“You do know that every news channel in Texas is trying to get a hold of you, right?”
“I can handle them,” I said.
“Just don’t punch anyone, okay?” Alice warned. “We have enough on our plates as is.”
“I thought we could use a few more challenges,” I joked.
“We definitely cannot.”
I smiled. “What’s the update?”
“Well, in so far, your girlfriend’s been very helpful,” Alice said. “Her ex-husband is definitely suing, but with him breaking his restraining order and a bunch of other issues, that should be resolved pretty quickly. Actually, I’m surprised he even decided to sue.”
Because no one’s ever said no to them before, that’s why.
“And Dennis?”
“A little more complicated,” Alice remarked, but her voice said otherwise. “We offered him a settlement, but he still wants to go to court. Which the lawyers think is great.”
“Why?”
“Well, let’s just say some digging’s been going on, and there’s enough dirt on Dennis, including shady business deals under the umbrella of Ridder Technology, that will put him behind bars for quite a while. We let him sue, then fire back with our guns.”
I paused. “Bring him in tomorrow morning, and we’ll have a chat,” I said. “When he knows what we have on him, he’ll drop his case and do whatever we ask him to. There’s no need to drag him through the mud.”
“Are you serious? You’re willing to let him get away with trying to steal the company from you? I thought you would have Miles out digging his grave somewhere about now.”
I clicked my tongue and considered what I had just said. “Life’s too short. I don’t need the stress of an ugly trial, even if it meant burying Dennis in the dirt for good.”
“You really have changed, haven’t you?”
“Is that all?”
I asked, unwilling to go through another round of Ludwig’s effects on my personality.
“Just one more thing,” Alice said. “Have you called Ashlyn Carter?”
“Alice, not the time, really,” I protested.
“Are you going to call her?”
I sighed and dropped my head. I had been wrestling with that all day, and still hadn’t made up my mind. “Please. Seriously.”
“Okay, I’ll stop nagging,” Alice said.
“Thank you.”
“Just don’t keep pushing it until it’s too late.”
“Good bye, Alice,” I said and hung up.
I walked back to my building, Alice’s words ringing in the back of my head. She had a point. If I kept putting this off for too long, whatever advantage I would have had with Ashlyn would be gone. I rode the elevator to the penthouse, my phone in my hand and Ashlyn’s number ready under my thumb, just waiting for me to press down on the call button. I didn’t manage to gather up enough courage to do it until I was inside my penthouse with a cold bottle of water in my hand and the setting sun in my face.
The phone rang for what seemed like forever, and eventually I got her voice mail. It felt nice to hear her voice, even if it was a recorded message, and when it ended with that annoying beep tone, I hung and dialed again. She didn’t answer then either, and I hung up before the voice mail picked up, frustrated and, in a way, embarrassed.