“Wait for us,” she told me as she leaned over, turned the oven off, and started packing things up. “You can help me get everything over there.”
“You don’t have to,” I told her.
“Are you kidding? I feel like such an asshole for not realizing she hadn’t been invited and for not doing the damn inviting myself.”
“I feel like a bigger asshole,” my brother told me as he looked me right in the eye. “Not once have we ever thought about what all the dancers, club girls, and even our prospects and club brothers who don’t have family have been doing at the holidays. We just went about our usual celebrations with one another.”
“One thing at a time, Brother. I feel you on that, but right now, I’m only worried about one person.”
Chapter 21 - Myra
After Rabbit explained how upset he had been to know that I had never been extended a formal invitation to Christmas Dinner at the Hastings’ home, I felt kind of bad for not telling them about my Misfits Dinner plans sooner. The thought that I had caused any of them even the smallest bit of heartache over being worried for me, hit hard. After they all crashed the party the rest of the misfits and I had, I hadn’t really seen any of them. It had been three days already, but that didn’t mean Rabbit hadn’t been in communication with me. I got texts from him several times a day. He had to travel down to Charleston the day after Christmas to go deal with some problem they were having getting Renegade Rosy’s – Charleston established.
It was why I almost said no when my doctor’s office called and asked if I would take an earlier appointment instead of the one I originally had on the 30th. I knew Rabbit said that he would be there for my appointments, but I was sure he only meant if he wasn’t busy and definitely not if he was out of town. I figured a courtesy text was necessary though so that he wouldn’t rush back from Charleston just to make that appointment only to find out that I’d already been.
Myra: My appointment changed. It’s today, 4:30pm.
Rabbit: Be there to pick you up at 3:45. You at home or work?
Myra: Home.
Rabbit: Good, be ready early and we’ll grab a late lunch on the way.
Myra: Ok. Thought you were out of town?
Rabbit: Nope.
Well, damn. The man honestly made my head spin sometimes. Granted, he had done a 180 with his personality in the past two months, but I still didn’t know if I could trust the change. I only knew that I wanted to. So, I hurriedly got dressed in some nicer sweatpants which were the only things I owned that felt comfortable anymore besides the scrubs I wore to work. I just couldn’t see spending a fortune on clothing I’d only wear for a couple of months during this pregnancy.
When Rabbit showed up, he was dressed in newish looking black jeans, a button-up, collared shirt, and he had his normally shoulder length dark blond hair pulled back toward the nape of his neck in a sexy as fuck, modified man bun. It rode so low on his head because the crazy bastard wore something akin to the a bowler-style hat. It was the same hat he’d worn during his little strip tease dance. That started me rambling to him right away, which was weird because I usually only rambled if I was really nervous.
“Did you know those hats were produced because they literally fought their way into existence?” I asked. Rabbit reached up and touched his hat.
“Um, I think the question is how do you know that?”
“I had to research it for a school thing. Well, I didn’t. A friend of mine had to do a research project on hats and headwear for a Trends and Concepts course.” He looked puzzled so I continued to ramble. “She was going for fashion design. She bakes cupcakes and slings coffee now with that degree,” I added needlessly. What the hell was wrong with me?
“Okay, then,” he hesitated. “I’m not sure I want to know how a hat fought, but it seems only logical to ask the question now. So, how did a hat fight?”
“Men used to wear top hats that bumped into low-hanging tree branches and poles which knocked the hats off their heads. So, the bowler hat was created to keep the hats from having to fight to stay on, but also to protect the men’s heads from taking the beatings.” I raised my fists and mimed throwing several jabs his way. “Get it now?”
Rabbit stood there stunned as he sucked his lips in and tucked them around his teeth to keep from laughing at me. Make no mistake, he definitely wasn’t trying to keep from laughing with me. The bastard. I sighed as he started giving me a once over. “Did you still need time to get dressed?” He asked as he glanced at the watch held to his wrist by a thick leather band.
I glanced down at myself, realizing that I definitely appeared underdressed in comparison. “I’m dressed,” I puffed out, feeling a bit dejected.
“Right,” he offered as he clapped his hands together. “And, might I add, you certainly look radiant in those sweats, Miss Myra.” The grin on his face could have meant he was making fun of me or that I really didn’t look that bad. I was going to go with the latter and hope for the best, even as I knew better. Maybe one or two maternity pants wouldn’t kill me? I’d think on it.
I reached down and tugged lightly on the baggy pants. “I didn’t want to waste money on pants that will only be worn for a few months at most,” I shrugged out my explanation.
“Why not? If you’re hurting for money-” he started to say, but I interrupted because there was no way he was going to offer me money again.
“No. I have plenty. I just don’t see the need to buy pants specifically aimed at women who will only wear them for such a short amount of time.” Yeah, it was redundant. He didn’t need to know that I was always worried that I wouldn’t have a job to come back to after maternity leave, or that no one would hire me knowing I had a new baby at home. He also didn’t need to know that daycare was going to cost a lot and that I had to put aside part of all my paychecks now so that I would have enough later. Money might get tight, despite my rainy day fund I’d been shuffling savings into since I was 14-years-old.
“But the baby needs the extra room,” he reasoned.
“Don’t hit me with the baby guilt, mister. I still have a thousand and one things to buy for the baby, which is another reason to save money on the pants now. Babies are these teeny, tiny little creatures, but their stuff costs so much money. You’d think that I was birthing a giant who needed upgraded sizes and materials. Nope, just a wee babe and a blown budget.” Okay, Rabbit had the crazy, wild-eyed stare going on, so that was me going off on another tangent again. Ugh!
Rabbit broke his crazy-man routine long enough to laugh.
“Sorry for my rambling,” I muttered.
“Don’t apologize. I happen to enjoy your little mommy tirades. Honestly, they give me more insight than a normal conversation,” he admitted. I wasn’t sure that was such a good thing. “Been meaning to ask though, I thought you were seeing Doc for all your baby stuff? Why did that change?”
“He saw me when I first got here and then referred me to an OB/GYN he trusted. I didn’t have insurance, so he also made sure it was someone who would give me a deal on cash transactions.”
“You need insurance?”
“Once my 90 day probationary period at work is over, I’ll have it.”
“But how are you able to afford all the visits you’ve been to so far?”
“I had a little savings tucked aside,” I shrugged my shoulders, a little uncomfortable talking about it since it was something I had never agreed with my mother about doing. I thought I’d surprise Blaze one day and have the down payment to a house instead of the condo we lived in. Little did I know, it came in very handy, and once I was able, there would be another rainy day savings plan started.
“A little savings,” Rabbit murmured while I was planning just when I’d be able to actually start saving again. “We’ll fix that later,” he mentioned, bringing my attention back to the here and now. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that and truthfully, it didn’t matter.
“What happens at your appointment today?”
“What do you mean? It’s a normal appointment.”
“When do you get to do the fun stuff, like find out the gender?”
That question made me want to cry and set my cheeks aflame with embarrassment. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, ‘I don’t know’? Aren’t all expectant moms chomping at the bit to see their little ones swimming around in their bellies?” I could tell by his teasing tone that he meant no harm. Unfortunately, our earlier conversation about my lack of insurance, dwindling savings, and expensive baby stuff tasted far more bitter on my tongue.
“I can’t afford frivolities,” I stated rather awkwardly. For most women, an ultrasound wasn’t considered frivolous.
“Frivolities?” He parroted. “But they use those things to determine growth, if there are any potential problems, and…”
“And I still can only afford the basics.”
“What about getting aid until your insurance kicks in?”
“Government aid can be tracked, so can the insurance that I’m still on through my father, which would disqualify me from obtaining aid anyway,” I informed him. I was in full-on, arms crossed over my chest, lip poked out, defensive pout mode. Rabbit seemed incapable of speaking after that, so I just continued to watch the scenery through the windows.
When we got to the doctor’s office, I had to pee like crazy, so I ran off for the bathroom with a nurse since they always asked for a urine sample. I left Rabbit to wait in the lounge with all the other women and expectant parents.
When I returned to the waiting area, Rabbit was holding a toddler for what appeared to be a very frazzled new mom. She tried to find a pacifier that would stop the tiny little baby wailing noises coming from the car seat on the floor by her feet.
Rabbit looked like a natural as he played with the little boy, keeping him busy while the mother took care of her youngest.
“Thank you so much,” the woman finally said while looking up to Rabbit with relief and so much gratefulness shining from her tired smile. I sat on his other side without a word.
“Everything come out all right?” He teased.
“You try growing a baby inside you, who uses your bladder as a trampoline, and see how bad you have to pee after 45 minutes in a car, lunch, and drinks during lunch.”
“Baby bladder is the worst,” the woman chimed in. Then she glanced between Rabbit and me before speaking again. “It looks like you have a good one helping you out though. Don’t ever let him go.” I could see a cloud of sadness threatening to swamp the woman, so I looked away to give her a moment to collect herself.
“Where is your man?” Rabbit asked, rather insensitively.
“One was enough for him.” She replied as she tipped her head toward the toddler in Rabbit’s lap. “Two was too much. When he found out I was pregnant again, he took off.”
“That’s horrible!” I gasped out. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” I reached in my purse and took out a piece of paper, wrote my number on it, and handed it to her. “If you ever need help, want to talk, or blow off some steam, give me a call. Us single moms have to stick together.”
“Oh! I thought,” the woman glanced at Rabbit again and then back at me. The question in her eyes was clear, but I already knew what she thought.
“He’s a friend,” I explained. Although, Rabbit did not seem happy with my explanation at all. He didn’t refute my claim, but the tension in his muscles and stiffness with which he held himself after I made the clarification were all too noticeable.
It wasn’t long after that when my name was called. I felt Rabbit jolt, as if he were going to get up and follow me, but held himself back. It made me wonder if he was curious about what happened at these appointments. “Did you want to come back?” I asked him. His response was to jump up from his seat immediately as he nodded his head frantically at me. In that moment, the man seemed more excited puppy dog than his namesake animal.
Once my weight was done and we were taken into the room, I almost cried. The ultrasound machine was sitting there as if to taunt me with what I couldn’t have. Hy heart hurt. We just sat there silently, waiting for the doctor to come in and see us until Rabbit finally broke the silence. “Don’t you have to get undressed and wear one of those paper thin gowns that your ass hangs out of?”
I laughed. It was actually a pretty apt description. “I don’t think so. The nurse didn’t tell me to do that when I came in.”
“Wait, so you don’t know on any given visit if he’s going down to the promised land to check on the harvest or if you’re just going to chat?”
I lost it. Never in my life… A swift knock was followed immediately by the doctor and a nurse entering the room looking thoroughly amused by my laughter. “Now, there’s a sight!” He called out before turning to Rabbit. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep it up. This one needs more laughter in life.”
Aww.
The nurse gave a sly grin to Rabbit though. “Do we want to know what she was laughing about?”
Rabbit wasn’t paying her any attention. “No clue,” he mumbled quickly while watching the doctor set up the… ultrasound machine. What in the world?
“Dr. Murphy?” I questioned. He was too busy fiddling with things to acknowledge me though. “I think you might be confused about what we’re doing today,” I tacked on.
He glanced down at the chart in his hands then smiled up at me. “Nope. No confusion. We’re going to get a look at your little one today, and if you’d like and the baby cooperates, we’ll be able to determine the gender too.”
I wanted that so badly. This was a horrible tease. There wasn’t an extra $250 for this, which is what they quoted me without insurance cost.
“If you could pull the waistband of your pants and underwear down and your shirt up, we’ll get started.” Dr. Murphy directed me as he turned my way with the transducer gel in his hand. The tears were coming, whether I wanted them to or not.
“Stop!” I hissed out as I started to hyperventilate, afraid I’d be charged for them going this far. “I can’t do this.”
“Myra,” Rabbit tried quietly.
“No. I can’t do this. It’s not in my budget. I’m sorry. I know you think it’s important,” I said while switching my focus from Rabbit to the doctor. “I just can’t.”
“It’s already paid for,” Rabbit explained.
“What? How?”
“Don’t overthink it. We’ll call this your belated Christmas present,” Rabbit said to me as he leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead. What was it about those damnable forehead kisses that always melted my heart? Not that I’d ever experienced it before. It was something I’d started reading about in Charlie’s books when she introduced me to audiobooks and the ability to “read” while driving.
I jumped when the gel hit my belly after I rolled my pants down, my shirt up, and exposed my growing belly to everyone in the room. “Sorry it’s a little chilly since we didn’t have it set up in the warmer ahead of time.”
“I’m not complaining,” I told the doctor as the image on the screen came to life and I could actually recognize little hands raised into fits in the air. We watched as one of them shot forward and punched me, but the amazing thing was I could have sworn I felt it too.
“Did we just watch you get punched from the inside?” Rabbit asked, his voice sheer awe. I simply nodded, unable to look away from the screen or speak.
“Looks like we’ll have a great view of what’s going on down there, did you want to know the gender?”
“Yes,” I whispered. Rabbit reached over and took hold of my hand, offering a squeeze.
“Do you have guesses before I drop this news in your laps?”
“Boy,” I said at the same time Rabbit all but yelled, “Girl!”
Dr. Murphy chuckled at us, then he zoomed the little wand around my belly, pushed harder, and there it was. I knew immediately. “I was right.” The doctor tipped his head and grinned at me.
&nbs
p; “I forgot you were a nurse. Makes it easier and harder to do these things sometimes. No surprises when you mostly know what you’re looking for.”
I smiled at him. While Rabbit squeezed my hand a little harder. “Wait? Does that mean it’s a boy?”
“That right there,” Dr. Murphy showed him on the screens, “means he is definitely a boy.”
“Definitely, huh?” Rabbit murmured before staring straight at my belly instead of the screen. “Way to go baby boy Chase. Already showing off your big man status.”
“Oh my God!” I hissed out at him, but couldn’t help laughing. Dr. Murphy’s shoulder shook as he tried not to laugh at Rabbit too.
“Did you really just say that?” The nurse asked. I really didn’t like her and wondered if I could request she wasn’t here the next time. Dr. Murphy may have been feeling the same way though since he threw her a look over his shoulder that basically said, ‘Shut the hell up!’”
“Where did we have your due date set?” Dr. Murphy asked as he glanced at my chart.
“May 23rd.”
“Yep,” he stated as he turned back to the ultrasound and what he was doing there. “Growth looks right on par, so we’re going to stick with that.” The doc did some more scrolling across my belly, stopping, and clicking, and then he said, “Okay, that’s about it for today. Did you have any questions?”
“Can you go back?” Rabbit asked.
“Go back?”
“Yeah, just move it back just a little,” he made a gesture with his hand like he was in charge of operating the magic wand that produced the images. Dr. Murphy smiled and humored Rabbit.
“Here?” He asked.
“A little further,” Rabbit told him.
“Ah, I see,” Dr. Murphy said, and then he put the wand a little further to the left, and we watched my son’s heart beating out a fast, but steady rhythm.
“That’s incredible,” Rabbit murmured. Dr. Murphy gave us a moment longer to watch and then he shut the machine down.
“Sorry, I know it’s hard to walk away from that connection.”
The Restart and the Remedy (Aces High MC - Dakotas Book 3) Page 14