by Lynne Hinton
Lana nodded. “I think that makes a lot of sense.” She wiped her nose. “And Reverend Stewart is going to meet you in Texas?” she asked.
“Yes, that part is really good,” Jessie replied. “We all look forward to seeing her.”
The young woman smiled. She missed her former minister as well. “Tell her hello for me. And here…” She reached in her jacket pocket and pulled out another photograph of Hope. “Give her this. I think she’d like it.”
Jessie nodded. “I’m sure she will.” She took the photograph and placed it in the pocket of the suitcase that was beside her.
“I just want you to know that I hope I can be as good of a friend as you are to Margaret. I hope that I’ll have friends like you do.” Lana slid her hands across her legs. “Sometimes I think the girls my age don’t care about having friendships. And even me, I get so busy with Hope and Wallace and school, I don’t have a lot of time for my girlfriends either. But when I see you and Miss Louise and Miss Bea, the way you care for Miss Margaret, the way you care for each other, it makes me really hope that one day I’ll have friends like that too.”
Jessie smiled at the young woman and nodded. She put her arm around Lana. “Having a loving and supportive family is a really wonderful thing. I wouldn’t trade anything for what I feel for my children and grandchildren.” She smiled wider. “And great-grandchildren.”
Lana leaned into Jessie.
“But as important as family members are, they can’t replace your friends. The really amazing thing about life is that when it comes to surrounding yourself with good people, you can have a vast assortment. You can love your family and you can have friends you can count on. Sometimes these friendships happen when you’re young and you just manage to stay together, or sometimes they come along when you get to a certain age. But you know it when you have it. You know which friends are worth keeping, which ones you want to be with you for the rest of your life.”
Lana lifted up her head. “When did you know about Margaret?” she asked.
Jessie glanced over at her grandson’s wife. She looked so young to the older woman, so innocent. Even though she was married and had a child, Jessie thought they were lifetimes apart.
“Margaret and I met when we were about your age, I think. I came home from college and I started going to church where she was a member. And when I went for the first time, I was the only black person there. And I got a few looks.”
Lana nodded. She understood what racism felt like. Even though she was white, because she was in a mixed relationship, she had experienced prejudice from both white and black people in the community.
“But Margaret Peele made sure that I was welcomed and warmly received by that church. She was the first person to greet me and she sat with me every Sunday from then on. I didn’t know it at the time, but I learned later that she gave quite a lecture to the older adults when they had talked about my being there and what I was trying to do.” Jessie shook her head. “Even when she was barely out of high school, she was more woman than I had ever seen.”
Lana dropped her head. She knew how hard this was for Jessie to talk about.
“And she has been a friend to me like nobody else. She made me a better person, and I can’t think of anything more important to say about another human being. She made me want to be better.”
Jessie felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, and she knew that she couldn’t start down that emotional road. So she patted her hands together and jumped up from the bed. “Now, I have to pack because Louise and Beatrice will be here soon to pick me up and then we’re heading over to Margaret’s to go to Texas.”
“I’m sorry if I made you sad,” Lana confessed.
Jessie turned to the young woman and cupped her hands around her face. “You have never made me sad, dear one. And all you did today was remind me of how incredibly lucky I am to have old friends and young ones in my life.”
Lana smiled. She stood up, and the two women hugged.
“Now, you go wrap your presents and bake your cake and hang your stockings because Christmas is almost here.”
“Right,” Lana agreed. “In fact, I was going to use one of the recipes from the cookbook from the church and bake the pecan cake. Wallace likes pecans and I thought I would use that Bundt pan I got for our wedding and never used.”
“Sounds perfect,” Jessie responded. “I’ll see you when I get back.” And she watched as Lana left the room and said good-bye to James.
She started opening drawers and pulling out the things she needed to pack. She felt James behind her before he spoke.
“You okay about this trip?” he asked. He was feeling a little concerned that he had made the women do something that they might not have wanted to do. They hadn’t really talked about it since the night Louise had come over and he had suggested it.
She nodded without turning around. “Of course,” she finally said.
“Do you want me to go too and drive?” he asked. He knew she was concerned about the weather and the winter storm that was being predicted for that part of the country.
“I think we’ll be okay,” she replied. “If not, we’ll just stop and wait it out,” she added.
James turned his wife around and faced her. “Let me look in your eyes when you’re telling me this.” He studied her.
“We’ll be fine,” she said. “You were absolutely right about us going to Texas, and I thank you for that.”
“But?” James could tell that there was something that his wife wasn’t saying. He had felt that way for a few days but he hadn’t asked her about it.
“But nothing,” she responded. Then she turned back to the bed and began folding clothes and putting them in the suitcase.
“Jessie Jenkins, I know you better than anybody. Something else is going on for you.” He touched her on the arm, and she turned around to face him again. “What is it?” he asked.
She dropped her eyes. He reached up and lifted her chin. “Is it missing Christmas here?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“Are you scared about the weather?”
“No, I told you we can stop if we run into trouble.”
“Is it not knowing what you’re going to find when you get there?”
Jessie didn’t respond to that. She took in a breath and sat down on the bed. James sat down beside her and waited.
“I just don’t know what Margaret thinks this trip is going to give her. I just don’t understand what we’re doing taking her to Texas five days before Christmas.” She stretched out her legs and crossed them at the ankles.
“I mean, does she think she’ll get some magical answer to things there? Does she think her mother’s spirit is there and waiting for her?” She shook her head. “I just don’t understand what she’s looking for in Goodlett, Texas.”
James considered what his wife was saying. He knew how devastated she had been with all that was going on with Margaret. Her heart had not been in any of the holiday events or activities. She had been so low for the past few weeks that he was a bit glad that she was going on the trip. He thought that at least it would give her a new venue to be in. At least it would take her out of Hope Springs.
“Maybe she doesn’t know what she’s looking for either,” he responded. “But just because you don’t know for sure what you’re looking for doesn’t mean you can’t find it. Maybe she’ll know it when she sees it.”
Just as she had put her arm around Lana, James put his arm around Jessie.
“I just hate the thought of her being disappointed,” Jessie explained. “Especially now, especially at Christmas,” she added.
“I expect she can’t hear anything more disappointing than what she’s already heard,” he said.
Jessie knew that was probably a true statement.
“And what if it isn’t what she’s hoping for, or what if she feels sadder being there at her mother’s grave? Isn’t that a part of this process too?”
“What process?”
Jessie asked.
“Dying,” James replied quietly.
The two didn’t speak for a few minutes.
“I just wish I could make a way for her to feel some delight and joy for Christmas. I wish I could give her the perfect gift.”
“No, I think what you would like is for this to go away at Christmas,” James noted. “But it isn’t.”
Jessie pulled away a bit from her husband. Even though he was only speaking from his heart, she didn’t really want to hear any of it.
“You are giving Margaret the one gift she has been able to ask for. Do you know how amazing that is?” he asked.
Jessie looked at him. Clearly she didn’t understand what he was saying.
“First of all, Margaret was able to know what she wanted. So many people spend their whole lives not being able to articulate that, and then when they do come to the end, they have no idea what they need to say good-bye. But Margaret was able to see what was missing, see what she regretted; and she was able to ask her friends to help her get that.” He was looking directly into his wife’s eyes.
“And then you and Louise and Beatrice, even Charlotte, are willing to do this for her. That’s unbelievable,” he added. “Don’t you see that?”
Jessie shook her head. “No, I don’t see any of that.”
“That’s because your heart is broken and your mind is full of sadness. But I see it and it’s so beautiful.”
“What?” she asked. “Please, help me understand this because I’m not feeling anything beautiful about this. I’m feeling scared and sad and worried.”
“Margaret is clear enough to ask for what she needs. And she’s blessed enough to have friends in her life that she can ask. She’s able to say to you, ‘Help make this come true.’ And you are open and loving and good enough to say yes.” He wiped the tear from Jessie’s cheek. “You can’t see what a rare and wonderful gift you are giving to your friend?”
“She’d do the same for me,” Jessie replied.
“Of course she would,” he said. “That’s what is so beautiful about this. That’s what is so amazing. That’s what Lana was asking you about because she doesn’t have that in her life, not yet at least.” He reached over and wiped a tear from Jessie’s cheek.
“Even I don’t have anybody like that in my life.” He could see the surprise. “I have you,” he added, knowing what she was thinking. “But I don’t have friends in my life like Louise and Beatrice. I don’t have anybody that I could ask to give me something I needed, nobody but family.
“So, you see, it doesn’t matter what comes out of this trip. It doesn’t matter if Margaret doesn’t find the thing she’s looking for or even if she doesn’t come to some realization of exactly what it is that she’s looking for. She’s got the best of life already.”
Jessie waited for more.
“She’s got you. She’s got Louise and Beatrice. She’s got Charlotte. And I bet that no matter what she finds when she gets to west Texas, she will understand that her greatest gift was not what she found but what she already had.”
Jessie turned away.
“You will not bring disappointment or more sadness to Margaret than she is already facing. That’s impossible.” He squeezed her on the shoulder. “Only goodness and loveliness can come from this adventure. It is rooted in the very best ground. It is rooted in love.”
Jessie looked to her husband again.
“There is no better gift for Christmas than the gift you are giving to your friend.” He pulled her into him.
“Now, get that suitcase packed because I think I hear Louise and Beatrice coming up the driveway.”
Jessie and James both leaned toward the bedroom door where they could see out to the road. Lana had left the front door open, and they both heard the van as it drove up.
“Is there somebody dead on our street?” James asked.
Jessie looked more closely at the vehicle coming up the driveway.
“Lord, have mercy, we’re driving to Texas in the funeral home van.”
And both of them shook their heads and laughed.
Oatmeal Cake
1 cup oatmeal, uncooked
1¼ cups boiling water
½ cup vegetable shortening
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs and 2 egg whites
1½ cups sifted flour
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup raisins (if desired)
Mix oatmeal and boiling water and set aside to cool. Mix all ingredients well and add oatmeal mixture. Stir until fairly smooth. Pour into greased 8-inch square pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.
TOPPING
1 stick margarine, melted
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup chopped nuts
1 bag of coconut (14 ounces)
2 beaten egg yolks
Add ingredients to melted margarine. Cook about 2 minutes. Spread on cake while hot, and brown in oven.
Chapter Fifteen
Don’t even say a word.” Louise was opening the passenger side door and stepping out of the van. “I have already said everything that can be said.”
“I…well…I…” Jessie could only stand on the front porch shaking her head. She didn’t even know what to say. She had certainly not considered taking the trip in a van from the funeral home. It was absolutely a shock to her, and she was at a complete loss for words.
“Jessie, it’s all I could get on such short notice.” Beatrice was opening the driver’s side door and walking toward the couple. She was trying to explain her choice before Louise said everything.
“You had five days, Beatrice. We told you on Wednesday that we would need the van on Sunday, five days.” Louise was clearly rattled, clearly upset by what Beatrice had done.
“Yes, but it’s Saturday!” Beatrice exclaimed. “It’s not Sunday, it’s Saturday. I could have gotten a van from Hertz tomorrow but they didn’t have one today.” And that was true, she had tried to find a van.
Louise didn’t respond. There was no need. She had checked. None of the rental agencies had any suitable vehicles, and there was nothing they could do about it. She shook her head and stood by the van.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Even though Louise had told her not to say anything, she was hoping her friend would make some comment.
Jessie still did not speak.
James came down the porch, carrying Jessie’s suitcase and an ice chest, and walked over beside her. “Well, it is roomy,” he said, trying to sound cheerful. He peeked in the back window. “What is it used for, flowers and stuff?” he asked.
Louise rolled her eyes. “It’s a funeral home van, James, a funeral home van.”
She could not believe that he was going along with the idea so easily. She looked again at the side of the van where “Family Funeral Home” was clearly displayed and shook her head again. She stomped over to Jessie for support.
Beatrice walked around to where James was standing. She opened the back door. “Yes, they use it to transport materials,” she replied. “Or they take the staff to meetings and things. It isn’t used for dead bodies.” She looked over at her friends as if that information would ease things. “You hear me, Louise, it’s not for dead people.”
“Humph.” Louise sighed, waving her hand at Beatrice while turning aside. “Look at what it says on the side,” she said sharply.
“So?” Beatrice asked, sounding very innocent. She turned to James, who was still checking out the vehicle. “And see, I was able to add that third seat and still have room in the back for all of our stuff.” She pointed to a third seat that had blankets and pillows placed on it. “That way, if Margaret needs to lie down, there’s a place for her to do that.” Beatrice was smiling. “And it’s brand-new,” she added. “Hardly any mileage on it at all. Dick says it rides real smooth. Plus, it’s free.”
James smiled and nodded. “You a
re quite the savvy travel arranger, Bea.”
Louise made another humph noise. She turned to Jessie, who was still standing on the front steps, still not saying a word. “What do you think, Jessie, you want to try and go after Christmas?” She asked the question in her most concerned voice. “You want to try and drive one of our cars? I think Margaret’s car could hold us all comfortably. I know mine is too small.” She was thinking out loud. “Maybe we could just take one of our cars to Statesville. I know they have a van there.”
Louise looked up at Jessie, still waiting for some kind of response from her.
And then Jessie laughed. She laughed a lot. She laughed so much and so hard that it took a few minutes before she could speak. Louise, James, and Beatrice just stood and watched her. They thought it was very peculiar behavior, and they then glanced around, looking at one another.
James placed the suitcase and ice chest in the back and shut the door. He headed toward his wife. “You okay, Jess?” he asked.
She blew out a big breath and laughed again. “It’s absolutely perfect,” she finally said. “Margaret will love it.”
Louise turned around to look at the van again and then turned back to face Jessie. Clearly she didn’t see the humor in it or how Margaret was going to love driving to Goodlett, Texas, in a funeral home van. She thought it was an exercise in very poor taste.
“Jessie, are you serious?” she asked.
And Jessie laughed some more.
Beatrice, on the other hand, didn’t see the irony or the tastelessness in her choice of vehicles. She thought it was a perfect solution to their problem, the problem of not having an appropriate vehicle to drive Margaret to Texas comfortably.
She had tried all morning to find a van for them to rent and there was nothing available except a twenty-foot moving truck from the U-Haul place or a station wagon from the closest car rental place. Apparently the few vans that the local agencies carried were being rented for family holiday trips and there were none available until they got to Statesville, which was about two hours away.