“You had other friends? I’ll live,” Brody said.
“No, he wasn’t a friend. I never had problems with gay men serving, whatever the military policy. I barely even noticed. Hell, we’re all so tired from the work that sleep is what we need. Most gay men kept it quiet and didn’t bother the straight guys. But Kevin was different.” Sean saw the concern in Kat’s eye.
“I don’t think I remember him.” Brody shrugged.
“He targeted men he wanted. I don’t know if he had dirt on the commanding officer or if he had a relative high up somewhere. The guy wasn’t subtle. He didn’t accept a polite no.” Sean had been ignoring the bad but vivid dreams.
“I had to turn down my share of guys looking for relief. This sounds like a lot more,” Brody said.
“It was. Kevin didn’t stop at verbally propositioning men. He groped you whenever he could. He pushed up against you like it was an accident. At first I thought it was a mistake. I made it clear that I wasn’t interested. Then he became really pissed off.” Sean shuddered.
“He sexually harassed you?” Kat asked.
“That’s the proper term for it.” Sean rubbed his eyes, trying to keep the memories from flooding back.
“I hope you reported him,” Brody said.
Sean sighed. “I did. Well, I tried. His connections, whatever they were, made it impossible. My superior told me to keep my back to the wall. Kevin would be more trouble if reported.”
“How could they refuse to report it?” Kat demanded.
“I had a choice. I could insist they file it, but they strongly advised me that I’d be set up to look like the one making the advances. I’d be disciplined. I was told to ignore him, make myself unavailable, and he’d lose interest.” Sean’s choice haunted him. “I should’ve filed it and pushed the issue.”
“Did he?” Kat’s face went pale and she hugged Sean. “He didn’t force himself on you?”
He held her tight. “No, he didn’t get to me. He tried like hell for a while. Grinding and touching me every chance he got. Kevin didn’t care if others saw. I witnessed him doing stuff to other guys too.”
“I can’t believe a group of you didn’t report him together,” Kat said.
“Or jump him at night and teach him a lesson through unofficial channels. I’d have stood by you,” Brody said. “I can’t believe I didn’t know about this.”
“Kevin ran with a certain group. He got a promotion before you and I became friends.” Sean cleared his throat and let Kat’s warmth relax him. “We all got the same lecture from the brass. No one wanted to screw up their career. There were men who liked it or at least went along with what Kevin wanted.”
“If he had volunteers, the guy didn’t have to go around harassing men. It’s not a freaking prison!” Brody yanked a blade of grass from the lawn.
“That’s what I thought.” Sean took a deep breath.
“What?” Kat asked.
“I thought Kevin was just harassing. A group of us started looking out for each other. Sure, Kevin grabbed me in the shower and he’d even grab your hand and put it places on him. Luckily he never tried to really force himself on anyone I knew of until this one kid.”
“He liked the younger ones?” Brody asked.
“This kid was a medic and not very big. I found him in the showers. Bleeding and in shock.” Sean tried to keep the memory distant. “I called for medical and security. I knew who did it. The kid wouldn’t admit who hurt him.”
“Who knows how many guys got that treatment?” Brody shook his head.
“You couldn’t report that?” Kat asked.
“I didn’t see any of it. There was no proof. If the victim won’t identify the attacker and there’s no other witness, there’s no case. That kid was maybe nineteen. He never looked me in the eye again. Never thanked me. Acted like nothing had ever happened. Our only good break was that Kevin got a promotion and moved on to another unit.”
“They promoted a rapist?” Kat shivered. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“That’s why I’ve been weird. The flashbacks or dreams have been hitting me since I’m suddenly so up close and naked with another guy. When I’m awake, I know the difference. I don’t feel like Brody is after me. At night is when I’m not logical about it. I’ve been telling you both the truth. It’s me.”
“It’s not you. It’s what was done to you. It’ll go away once you feel safe.” Brody shrugged.
Sean wasn’t so sure. “I thought I had been out long enough. I trust you, I know you. Maybe I’ll get used to it. I’ve been hoping. Trying.”
“The strange surrounding probably isn’t helping. Maybe when we get home you’ll feel safer?” Kat suggested.
“I don’t want to ruin this or make it hard. I love you, Kat. I don’t want to hear about age differences or that we were your patients. None of it matters, because now I’m the problem.” Sean let go of her and tugged on his jeans.
“Stop it, Sean. It’s not over yet,” Brody called after him.
Chapter Six
Kat now knew the truth of what Sean had been through. Unfortunately, he’d put the walls back up and didn’t want to talk about it. They needed to try another approach.
Kat walked into the spa and two attendants whisked her into a changing room. Stripping down to nothing, she spotted the dark blue silk robe. She slipped on the robe and walked out of the room where a woman dressed in white handed her a schedule. First was the soak in moisturising cream with rose petals. The day looked packed with pampering. “Is there any way I can get some time with Lady Olive today? If she’s free, of course.”
“Lady Olive is in a mud bath. We’ll put you in the same room.” The attendant nodded.
“That’s quite a coincidence,” Kat said.
“Lady Olive has the sixth sense. She knows what people need before they do. This way.”
Kat followed. The room was warm and done in earth tones. Soothing music played softly. There were two large rectangular tubs in the room. Lady Olive, hair pulled up elegantly, sat in a mud bath.
The attendant pushed a couple of buttons and the other tub filled with a milky bath. She nodded to Kat.
Turning away from the other women, Kat slid from the robe and stepped into the tub. When she reclined, the rose petals fell from the ceiling. The tub began to churn the water and Kat moaned. The tension of two men, one with trauma, melted away.
“There is a panel on the right of the tub. You can control the heat, circulation of the water, and call for us. Enjoy,” said the attendant.
“Thank you,” Kat said.
“Thank you, Jillian,” Lady Olive said.
“I’m glad I have some time with you, Lady Olive.” Kat didn’t know how to begin but she needed another woman to talk to. As much as she loved the men, she missed her friends at home. Calling was one option but would they understand her falling in love with two men who seemed to want to share her? She couldn’t begin to explain that until she was completely certain they’d give it a shot back home.
“Your fantasy isn’t going as easily as you anticipated. They frequently are challenging. But what makes us happy is never truly as easy as a wish.” Lady Olive looked over. “You love them both?”
Kat sighed. “Yes.”
“They both love you as well. While it’s not a traditional relationship, none of you are in high-profile jobs. The fallout should be minimal.”
“If we can make it work. I’m not sure Sean is into it.” Kat hated blaming him. “He went through something bad and he’s very uneasy about something. It’s hard to explain.”
“You don’t need to. I worked with them before you arrived. We all have painful things in our past that make us uncomfortable. Even if we trust the people now, our fears are what we need to overcome. Like your reluctance to date them because of the age difference,” Lady Olive replied.
“I don’t blame Sean for being sensitive about it. Brody would never do anything to Sean. Three people in a bed require an adjustmen
t for everyone.” Kat felt no fear here but when she thought of going home and back to her routine… “Reality will be hard to face.”
Lady Olive smiled. “No, that’s not the hard part. Many of our fantasies include less than traditional relationships. Once you commit, once you decide that it’s right for you, then others don’t matter. Their views can’t hurt you. You’re uneasy because of Sean. Brody is worried this will fall apart and he’ll lose his best friend and the love of his life. Fear is the enemy.”
“How can I help Sean not be afraid?” Kat asked.
“You can’t. He and Brody have to work it out between them. They love you. Their egos and goals are in sync. I believe this will work if they resolve it between them.”
Kat heated up the water. “I can’t fix it.”
“You had control when they were your patients and kept them at a distance.”
“That was professional. I’d get fired,” Kat insisted.
“An excellent point. I understand professionalism. You also used your age difference as an excuse. That objection seems to have gone away. My point is that you had control of the relationship before. Whether you’re in or out is the only control any of us have and with three in a relationship it’s harder. You have to let the other two manage what’s between them.”
“They’re not bisexual. They’re just friends.” Kat realised how crazy that sounded.
“I understand they aren’t sexually involved. However, they’re building a family with you. That friendship is being tested. Don’t force them to compromise for you or they might resent it in time. They have to sort things out and be ready to deal with everything…even things that Sean believed he was over.” Lady Olive pushed a button and her mud tub rotated.
“Thank you. It’s hard to sit back and not interfere.” Kat had been single for a long time. It was always easier to walk away from a guy than stick it out. Her mother had told her she was too picky. Now Kat knew they were all the wrong men. These were the right ones and she hoped they could work it out.
After a gap of silence, Kat couldn’t quiet her brain.
“What do you suggest?” Kat asked.
“You’re doing it. Spa day to let the men have time. If you need anything waxed, the attendants will take care of it. Have a massage and a facial. Then a manicure and pedicure. Have your hair done and makeup. Two men left to their own devices…might actually work it out.”
Kat chuckled. “Or they’ll find something fun to do and not talk at all. They’re men.”
“Then you may need to nudge them in the right direction. They fix it or it’ll ruin everything.” Lady Olive pressed a button and climbed from the mud bath.
The attendant walked in and escorted Lady Olive out.
* * * *
Five hours later, Kat found her guys playing a video game in Brody’s room.
“You look nice,” Sean said.
Brody hugged her. “You smell like a flower shop.”
She grinned. “I was plucked, waxed, rubbed and polished. I hope you two took advantage of my absence and sorted out the weirdness.”
“What weirdness?” Sean asked.
Brody shook his head. “You’re still sleeping on the edge of the bed like I’m going to jump you.”
“It’s not you. It’s reality. I haven’t shared a bed regularly with anyone since getting back. The odd hook-up but not with a guy.” Sean shrugged.
“Did you keep the random women at a distance?” Kat asked.
“No, but that’s a girl-only situation.” Sean tossed the controller on the floor. “I don’t think talking is going to fix anything. Consciously, I trust Brody not to grope me.”
“If this doesn’t work out, I’ll always be your friend. I’ll always love you guys, but I won’t ruin your friendship over this.” Kat chewed her lower lip.
“It’ll go away,” Sean said.
“What if it doesn’t? It’s an unusual relationship to start with. If we can handle that, fine. It’s more important that it works on the inside. Kat seems to have gotten over the age thing, so we’ve made progress.” Brody nodded.
She smiled. “I’ve got two hot, young guys and I’ll be called a cougar. I can live with it. If you two aren’t okay with this—I mean totally at ease sharing and being family—then it won’t work. I won’t choose.”
“We’d never do that to you,” Sean said.
“I can’t fix this. I love you both and I want it to work, but you two need to stop hanging out and playing. You need to work through this crap so we can be together.” Kat looked from one to the other.
“How do we do that?” Sean asked.
“Where do we even begin?” Brody shrugged.
Kat had an idea. She played with her Castle phone app. “I have an idea. Trust me.” She kissed each of them on the mouth then dashed for the door.
She closed it behind her. With both men inside, she put her thumb on the door lock and used her other hand to lock the door via the app.
The men tried the door. “Kat, what are you doing?” Brody asked.
“Don’t worry, they’ll let you out for the ball tonight,” she said.
“Let us out now,” Sean demanded.
“No! Figure it out. I want this to work. I want you both but only if we’re a real family and everyone is happy.” She turned and ignored the shouts.
A maid walked up. “Do you need any help?”
“I need them to stay in there until the ball. You won’t let them out?” Kat asked.
“Only you can release them. It’s your wing. I’ll make sure their tuxes are ready an hour before the ball. You’ll want them dressed properly.”
“I’ll meet you here then. Thanks,” Kat walked away with a grin on her face.
* * * *
Brody surveyed the ballroom. It was almost over and all the talking hadn’t fixed a thing. Sean had recounted some grisly details he didn’t want Kat to know. Other men had hit on Sean and he’d defended himself when necessary. Apparently Kevin had spread the word to those who played the game that Sean did too. When Kevin was promoted, Sean had changed who he hung out with and he had blocked out the memories of harassment for a time.
Brody watched Sean dance Kat around the floor. They were a lovely couple, but Kat had already overruled either guy bowing out. She’d locked them in the room so clearly she was serious.
The music stopped and everyone applauded the live quartet. Kat went one way and Sean headed over to Brody. Without a word, Brody walked out onto a balcony that gave them a bit of privacy. The starlit night made him realise just how far in the middle of the country they were. Fresh air and all the landscaped hedges and manicured lawns left him in stunned silence for a minute. The busy hum of his normal life was a world away. Eventually he’d miss it, but right now he was utterly content. The castle was their oasis and beyond its light he could see nothing but darkness. The fact that there was no quick way out would help them face their issues and work together. He had an idea and it might work or might start a fight.
“What are you doing out here?” Sean asked.
Brody leaned on the cement railing. “She told us to talk.”
“We tried that. Men don’t relate like that. That’s not how we fix things.” Sean faced the ballroom and leaned on the railing.
“I agree. Talking won’t work.” Brody turned and hugged Sean.
After returning the hug, Sean’s arms fell, but Brody pressed closer.
“What are you doing?” Sean tensed.
“Proving that you don’t do anything for me.” Brody tilted his head back and looked Sean in the eye.
“Stop it. This is dumb.” Sean tried to get free.
The movement only served to grind the men together. Brody chuckled. “Try anything you want. Men don’t turn me on. You’re safe. We’re safe together. If I could beat the crap out of Kevin, I would. Any guy hits on you, we’ll take care of it. You’re not alone and you’re not in the military chain of command anymore.”
“I know al
l that. It’s when I’m not thinking that I freak out.” Sean stopped leaning back.
“Are you getting turned on?” Brody asked.
“No.” Sean laughed.
“Me either. Whatever happens while we’re asleep isn’t about each other. It’s about Kat. Not all guys are good. Straight or gay. The guy was a jerk and needed to be punished. That doesn’t make you bad for being touchy after that harassment. Sharing a woman doesn’t make either of us gay. It’s also not an everyday sort of relationship. We can share the woman we love and if stuff touches…it’s not the end of the world.” Brody hugged Sean again.
Chapter Seven
“This is stupid,” Sean said.
However, it didn’t feel as crazy as it should. Brody clearly wasn’t aroused and neither was Sean. The relief was oddly reassuring. His mind wasn’t in control when his body was experiencing all the friction and heat.
“Kevin never gave up. He kept telling me I liked it and I was in denial.” Sean had never told anyone that.
“I’m a seriously hot guy. If I don’t turn you on, you’re straight.” Brody moved his face in close enough to kiss and then backed up so they weren’t touching at all.
Sean braced his hands on the cement rail. “I know, but I’d never actually tested it. I have a cousin who is bisexual and that always made me wonder. I knew I loved women, but that jackass Kevin got inside my head.”
“Have I evicted him?” Brody held out a hand.
Sean shook it and pulled Brody in for a hug. “Yes, thanks. You’re the only guy who gets to see me naked and you’re not going to do anything. Let’s just hope this cures my weird sleeping thing.”
“I think this time I got through that thick head of yours. We deserve her and she deserves us.” Brody grinned.
Sean glanced out at the dance floor. “Mr Foster is dancing with our woman.”
Brody smiled. “You go get her. My knee is a little locked up. I’ll take over at the end.”
Sean headed out on the dance floor with a new confidence. He’d buried a lot of those fears and feelings for so long that they’d haunted his sleep. Some men would’ve judged Sean for not beating the hell out of Kevin or pushing the report through, but Sean hadn’t wanted his career to go south. Brody had forced all of the history to the surface in a new way. They were family.
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