My parents and I were in regular contact since I had been to see them, and while things were still awkward at times, we were getting there.
“I can’t wait until summer,” I said.
“Me neither. My parents asked me to come home for a few weeks. I’m really thinking of taking them up on the offer.” Renee picked up her book bag and followed me out the door.
“Are you going to see Iain at all over the summer? Is he sticking around campus?” I asked. I still wasn’t sure what was going on with Iain. I knew Renee had gone out on a few dates, but I knew my friend and she was purposefully not investing in a relationship with the guy.
Renee shrugged. “I’m not sure. We haven’t really discussed summer plans,” she said, unconcerned.
“Maybe you could make some plans with him?” I urged. I hated seeing Renee close herself off the way I had always done. Renee was the impulsive, passionate one. I had been steady and emotionally stunted. I wasn’t sure what to think about the role reversal.
I worried about Renee. Sure, she was doing great in school and seemed to be making a good effort of moving on from Devon, but there was a spark missing in her eyes that bothered me. Renee gave me a sideways look, knowing exactly what I was doing. “You’re so pushy, Aubrey,” she accused with a smile.
“I just want to see my best friend happy,” I replied, nudging her shoulder with mine as we walked across campus.
“I am happy,” Renee argued.
“Okay, I’d like to see you happier,” I corrected.
“I don’t need a guy to be happy, Aubrey. Give me a bit more credit for my personal growth,” she scolded.
“I’m not saying you need a guy, Renee. I just don’t want you to morph into the Aubrey zombie of emotional death,” I joked.
“An Aubrey zombie, huh? Sounds pretty scary.” She laughed.
“It is, trust me,” I said soberly, meaning it.
“I know you think I’m shutting myself off because of what happened with Devon. And that’s not it. I swear it. I’m just protecting myself from now on. And I don’t think jumping into something serious is the way to do that. I can date Iain and have fun, but that’s it. That’s all I’m capable of right now.”
“Okay, I understand, I won’t push it.”
“I don’t mind you pushing, Aubrey. I know it’s because you love me,” Renee said, looping her arm through mine.
“Love you silly.” I grinned.
Renee chuckled and shook her head. “You’ve got the silly part right.”
“What’s going on over there?” Renee pointed to a group of people congregated around the side of the gym.
“I’m not sure,” I said, giving my friend’s arm a tug.
My guts twisted with déjà vu.
“Let’s go check it out,” I said, my voice strangely rough.
“Whatever it is has gotten everyone pretty excited,” Renee commented as we bounced on our tiptoes trying to see over the heads of the crowd.
“Let’s go linebacker on these guys,” I said, nodding my head toward the people milling around in tight clumps.
“I’ve got my elbows ready,” Renee joked. Together, we pushed through to the brick wall that seemed to hold everyone’s attention.
And then my heart dropped to the ground along with my belief in trust and love and hope.
“No,” I breathed out, hardly believing what I was seeing.
A large painting took up most of the wall. The word Compulsion draped the clouds drawn onto the brick. It was a rather mundane drawing of a field of flowers and a tree, the address clearly written on the bark.
It wasn’t the prettiest drawing I had ever seen, but its significance made me want to throw up.
“Isn’t this what Maxx used to do for the club?” Renee asked from behind me.
I nodded, my mouth dry and my throat tightening dangerously. I pushed back through the crowd and leaned against the far end of the wall, trying to breathe through the nausea.
This couldn’t be right. Could it?
Maxx would have told me if had he started working for Compulsion again. Right?
I didn’t want to believe what my eyes so clearly saw.
Proof of his deceit and betrayal.
I slammed my hand into the wall in frustration, barely registering the pain that shot up my arm.
“Whoa, what’s wrong?” Renee asked, frowning.
I pointed at the artwork that everyone was talking about. “That’s the fucking problem!” I seethed, tears stinging my eyes.
“I don’t get it . . .” Renee began.
I pushed myself off the wall and pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. “Because if this is X, then that means he’s working for the club again. And if he’s working for the club again, then he lied to me. He told me he was never going back there.”
“Oh,” Renee said softly. I dropped my hands to my sides, feeling completely despondent.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed his number.
It went straight to voice mail.
“I can’t do this again!” I agonized.
Doubt shredded my heart.
“You don’t know that’s him. I mean, look at that drawing. It doesn’t even look like his other stuff,” Renee said thoughtfully. But who else would have done it? That was Maxx’s job.
It would explain his strange mood.
And his cryptic “job” that would earn him so much money.
I tried dialing Maxx’s number again and growled in frustration when it went to voice mail again. I tapped out a quick text.
Where are you?
And then I waited.
And waited.
Nothing.
How could he do this?
I covered my mouth with my hand to stop the wail that threatened to claw its way out of my throat. I turned around blindly and started walking away, bumping into someone in my desperate efforts to flee.
“Sorry,” I muttered, tearing my eyes away from the painting.
“Aubrey!” I found myself face-to-face with April.
I hadn’t seen her since my run-in with Evan. She had dropped out of the Boundaries and Ethics class, and honestly, I had been too wrapped up in my own life to think about where she had disappeared to.
“April, hi,” I said, casting a look around for her psycho boyfriend.
I turned back to April and was met with a shock. She smiled at me. A full-out grin. Because she looked . . . different.
Gone was the pink hair and facial piercings. Her hair was a nice, normal shade of brown, and her face was scrubbed clean of her usual heavy makeup. She had a nice face when it wasn’t obstructed by all of the metal.
“I’ve wanted to talk to you,” she said, casting a nervous glance in Renee’s direction. My roommate got the hint and moved a few feet away.
“You haven’t come back to class,” I stated.
“No, I took some time to get things sorted out.” She dropped her voice. “I left Evan.”
I blinked in shock. “What? I mean . . . that’s great. I’m really glad, April.” And I meant it. I wanted to give her my attention, but involuntarily, my eyes were pulled back to the painting behind April. I stared at it for a moment. It was a crude drawing, not very detailed in any way. There weren’t any symbolic figures or deeper meaning. It was only poorly drawn block letters with flames shooting out the side. It looked like juvenile tagging rather than legitimate art. April was still talking, and I had to force myself to concentrate on what she was saying. But my mind was in total turmoil.
Was this X?
Had Maxx really gone back to the club? Was that why he had been so distant and evasive?
I’ve been given a chance to make some great money.
And he hadn’t told me exactly how he planned to do that. I stared at the painting a little longer, still hardly able to believe it.
He wouldn’t do this to me. Not after everything we’ve done to get to this place together.
But my head argued against my
romanticism.
The proof is right in front of you! He lied! He told you he had an opportunity to make money. What did you think he’d do?
I blinked and tried to clear my head, purposefully looking at April again.
“Yeah, after what he did to you I knew I couldn’t sit by and take his shit anymore. I pressed charges against him for . . . well, some stuff that happened . . . he took off. I don’t really know where he is. But I moved back in with my parents.”
I stood there lost for a moment, trying to pull myself back into the conversation. Then I realized what she had said.
“I’m really happy to hear that. I felt horrible for leaving that day without knowing if you were okay—”
“Don’t feel bad. I’m just sorry I couldn’t stop him,” April murmured, hanging her head.
I tentatively put my hand on her arm. “Don’t blame yourself for his issues. It’s easy to be fooled by pretty words and false promises disguised as love,” I said, looking at the horrible graffiti again.
What will I do if he’s at the club? What will I do if I find out he’s lied?
Then an even more horrific thought smashed into my consciousness, threatening to send me to my knees.
If he can lie about this, what else is he lying about?
He was supposed to be with Landon tonight. My gut told me that wasn’t true. I thought about the past week and how strangely Maxx had been behaving. I had been so quick to dismiss it. I had been falling back into the old pattern of denial and excuses without realizing it.
I felt a flash of white-hot rage. I clenched my hands into fists and tried to control the urge to scream.
“Are you heading to the club?” April asked suddenly.
“What?” I asked, barely listening.
“Compulsion. Are you going? Some friends and I were thinking of heading over. You and your friend could come with us if you want.” She gave me a smile.
“I’m not sure,” I said, my mind going a thousand miles a minute.
“I bet Maxx will be there, too,” she said, snapping me back to the here and now.
“What?” I demanded.
April looked startled by my outburst. Renee put her hand on my arm to try and calm me down, but I was feeling decidedly not calm.
“Uh, I know he used to go all the time, and I saw him there a week or so ago,” April said haltingly.
The world fell out from underneath my feet.
“I’ve got to go,” I said, stumbling backward.
“Did you get the address first?” April asked, pointing to the horrible painting.
She pulled out a pen and wrote it on a piece of paper, handing the scrap to Renee, since I wouldn’t take it. April stared at the picture on the wall for a moment. “Doesn’t really look like X’s stuff, does it?” she mused, but I didn’t really hear her.
“Whoa, Aubrey, slow down!” Renee called out.
“I’ve got to get my car. Are you cool heading back to the apartment by yourself?” I asked, not slowing down.
“Wait a second, where are you going?” Renee wheezed, trying to keep up with me.
“Maxx lied to me. I have to know what’s going on,” I said through gritted teeth. I wasn’t going to fall into a heap the way I would have done before. This time, I’d find him and I’d demand my answers.
“You can’t go alone,” Renee argued.
“You’re not coming with me. What I need to say to Maxx is between the two of us,” I bit out.
Then I stopped myself. I turned to my best friend. “I won’t be long. And I won’t be going down this road again. I’ll be fine.”
Then I was running toward my car.
chapter
thirty-five
maxx
“if you don’t want to come tonight, I’ll take the stuff back to Gash, no worries,” Marco said. He had come by my apartment just before seven. He was getting ready to head to the club and was decked out in his scary bouncer gear.
“Dude, why are you being such a pussy about me coming tonight? I don’t get it,” I said. My nerves were fucked as it was. Marco’s sudden apprehension was getting to me.
“I heard what happened to you, you know,” Marco said suddenly, grabbing a soda from the fridge and popping the top.
“What are you talking about?” I asked. The bags of pills sat on the counter. I had been staring at them for the last few hours wondering what the hell I was getting myself into.
I couldn’t let myself touch them. Because then I knew I’d be lost. I tore my eyes from the drugs and looked at my friend.
“What do you mean you know what happened to me?”
“I ran into Landon last week. He’s become a cocky little shit, hasn’t he?” Marco asked, downing the rest of his soda and tossing it into the trash. I was impressed when he actually made the shot.
“He can be. Where’d you see him?” I asked, not sure how I felt knowing Marco spoke to my brother. But they knew each other from back in the day. I guessed it wasn’t totally weird.
“He hangs out at the body shop on Fifth. My buddy Dan is a mechanic over there. Landon was helping Chandler do some detailing work. He’s got a lot of talent. Must take after his jackass brother,” Marco grumbled, though I recognized the compliment in the insult.
“Yeah, he’s pretty good,” I agreed. Marco and I didn’t make a habit of talking about shit. This entire conversation was dangling into twilight zone territory.
“So he told me you were in rehab and that you had OD’d or something.”
Well, shit.
“So you weren’t dealing with Landon stuff. You were in fucking rehab,” Marco said, scowling.
“Did he just come out and tell you that?” I asked, irritated.
“No. I asked him what he had going on that caused you to drop off the planet for a month. He didn’t know what I was talking about. Then he told me where you had really gone.”
“So I went to rehab. What’s it to you?” I asked defensively.
Marco’s scowl deepened. “You should have told me, man,” he said, his voice gruff.
I laughed. “Why? So we could talk about our feelings and crap? That’s not how we work. I wasn’t going to tell you that kind of thing.”
Marco actually seemed a little hurt.
“I would have understood, you know. My mom went to rehab when I was a kid. I would have gotten it.”
I was shocked. I didn’t know much about Marco’s past. We weren’t the type of friends to braid each other’s hair and talk about deep stuff. I didn’t know anything about his parents or where he came from. It had never mattered.
I had been so shallow.
“I didn’t know. Sorry, dude,” I said sincerely.
Marco waved away my words. “Whatever. It’s no big deal. But I wish you had been up front with me,” he stated.
“Yeah, well, it wasn’t something I wanted to broadcast.”
“Why in the hell are you doing this tonight then?” Marco asked, poking one of the bags with his finger.
“I need the money. I’m floundering big-time. I like the idea of food and electricity,” I responded.
“You don’t need to sling this stuff to make money, dickhead,” Marco scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m running out of options, so if you have any ideas, please share them.” I was getting pissed at his attitude. It was a little late to be spouting this BS. Marco tapped his fingers on the countertop, looking uncharacteristically unhappy.
“What about your art stuff ? I mean, people love that stuff. Why not try and sell it to real buyers?”
I sighed in frustration, feeling like I was banging my head against a wall.
“Dude, don’t you think I’ve already tried that? Let’s just say I didn’t make the best impression with the one gallery that I spoke with.”
Marco frowned. “It was one gallery, X, there are more out there. Why don’t you try with another one?”
I chewed on my lip, unnerved by his sudden interest in t
he legit parts of my life. “What’s this about, Marco? Why are you working so hard to talk me out of doing this tonight? It’s what I’m good at. It’s what I know. I thought you’d be stoked to have me back.”
Marco pushed himself away from the counter and started pacing the room. I had never seen him so worked up. Something major was happening. “What’s going on, Marco? And don’t feed me a line. Be straight with me,” I said sharply.
Marco stopped his manic pacing and looked at me. “I’ve just heard some talk,” he began.
“Yeah, you said something about rumblings at the club. What’ve you heard?”
Marco started playing with the ring in his lip. “Just some people have said that Gash has been marked by the cops. They’ve never bothered him before, but with all these fucking drugs he’s bringing into the area, they can’t ignore his operation anymore.”
Well, damn. I hadn’t expected him to say that. But that had always been part of the appeal of the club. The adrenaline rush that went with doing something you knew was wrong. “It’s probably just talk, Marco—”
“No, I really don’t think it is. I’m not one of those pussies who go on about their gut feelings, but I think there’s more to it than just talk.”
I picked up one of the bags of pills. It was heavy in my hands. I slowly unzipped it and took out one of the smaller bags containing ten tiny blue pills. I wondered if there would ever be a time when I wouldn’t want them. I wondered if I’d ever be able to get through a day without wishing I was high.
I’m tired of craving something that could kill me.
I dropped the drugs onto the counter, even if my fingers itched to touch them again. “I just think you should look at other options besides the club right now,” Marco said gruffly.
“I need the cash though, man. I mean, I really, really need it. It’ll be a one-time thing. That’s it,” I swore.
Marco laughed bitterly. “Look who you’re talking to, Maxx. You may be able to fool your chick with those words, but not me. I see the hunger on your face. You want it, dude. It’s all over you.”
At the mention of Aubrey I felt a little sick.
Is the quick cash really worth losing her?
I knew the answer immediately.
Follow Me Back Page 29