Home and Heart

by Sean Michael

Derek howled with laughter, stretching up to take a kiss from whoever he found. It was Benny’s lips that closed over his, tongue pushing into his mouth. Benny’s kisses were always take no prisoners. He moaned, sucking on Benny’s tongue. He felt Luke’s hand on his back, large and warm and simply touching him, connecting the three of them.

  A soft gasp sounded, then came the noise of the door closing quickly but fairly quietly.

  Oh fuck, that was the new guy. Derek pushed at Benny and Luke, then wriggled out from between them when they wouldn’t back off. They were happily humping each other as he went off after Sawyer.

  The door to Sawyer’s place was closed—and locked when he tried the handle. Then he saw Sawyer headed toward his SUV.

  Ah, no, that wasn’t right. Sawyer shouldn’t feel chased out of his own place. Derek jogged out after him.

  “Sawyer! Dude! Please wait.”

  “I’m so sorry. I’m going to head to the grocery store. I made your bed.” Sawyer was pale as milk, shaking visibly.

  Derek wanted to give the guy a hug big-time, and he warred with his instincts, not wanting to freak Sawyer out any further. “We were just playing around. We’ll get the food cooking and just hang out, yeah? There’s plenty. The grocery store can wait.” Finally, he couldn’t hold himself back, and he stepped into Sawyer’s space and gave him a hug. He wasn’t big like Luke, but he felt like it, wrapped around Sawyer’s slender body. “I’m sorry if we upset you.”

  “No. Of course not. I’m family. I just shouldn’t have interrupted.”

  Well, thank God for that. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Sawyer was straight, and wouldn’t that have been something to walk in on if that had been the case? He realized he was still hugging Sawyer, but the guy hadn’t tried to step away either, so he just held on.

  “You totally should have interrupted. You should have told us to put it back in our pants and make you welcome-to-the-building food already.” Or Sawyer could have joined them, but his gut was saying it was going to take more than an introduction for that to happen. A hell of a lot more.

  “Oh, you have been more than kind. I… I can go get something to contribute….” Sawyer still hadn’t pulled away from his hug yet. And for a guy who was as pale and shaky as Sawyer had been a couple of moments ago, that was something.

  Luke came out of the main door, all big muscles and dark eyes and hair, looking like a damn devil from a TV drama. “Is he okay?”

  Derek rolled his eyes dramatically for Sawyer’s benefit, then shifted from the hug to one arm slung over the guy’s shoulder. “Of course he’s okay. He was just being polite. I’ve let him know he doesn’t have to be, as you hooligans don’t know the meaning of the word.”

  “I’m Sawyer. Forgive the interruption, please.” Sawyer held out one hand.

  Luke shook Sawyer’s hand, seeming to swallow it up. “Luke Desrobier. And you weren’t interrupting. We were just fooling around. Are you coming back? We’ve got a shitload of food, and I’m starving.”

  “He’s always starving,” Derek noted. Luke worked out like a motherfucker—he was a private trainer after all, while Benny never paid attention to what he ate and worked out some, but mostly stayed fit thanks to his job as a mover for hire. Derek, on the other hand, had been blessed with a great metabolism and could eat whatever and not worry about it.

  “I….” Sawyer looked a little panicked. “I don’t have anything to share.” It was obviously important to the guy that he contribute.

  “So you can provide a thank-you for the welcome meal for next time.” Luke was clearly as unconcerned about who brought what to the cookout as Derek was, as they both knew Benny was. It all evened out in the end. “Come on, man. You want a beer?”

  “No, thank you. I’m a recovering alcoholic. I’ve been sober for two years.” Sawyer looked like he was ready for just about any response he got.

  “Good for you. My mom’s an alcoholic. It’s been nearly three years this time. Don’t worry, we’ve got Coke and stuff too. Hell, I think there’s even bottled water. It might even be cold.” Luke cackled, his easy response seeming to loosen something in Sawyer.

  Derek hadn’t known that about Luke’s mom. Only that things were tense with his family situation. He supposed he’d assumed it was down to Luke being gay, but maybe that was only a part of it.

  “Coke works,” Sawyer said, giving him and Luke a smile that looked a little more together than the last one.

  Benny held the front door open for them, and they trooped through the main hall and onto the patio. “Do I need to turn the burgers?”

  “Don’t touch the burgers, man.” Luke rolled his eyes. “Rule one—don’t let Benny touch the burgers.”

  “Don’t let Benny touch any meat,” Derek amended, only realizing after he’d said it how it could be taken.

  “Not any? Ever?” Benny looked mock-horrified before dissolving into laughter along with Luke.

  Derek giggled a little.

  “Good to know,” Sawyer muttered.

  “Sorry. Sometimes we do our best at imitating twelve-year-olds, even though Luke’s almost thirty.”

  “I only just turned twenty-eight, doofus.”

  “Like I said—nearly thirty.” He dodged a swat from Luke. “And Benny’s twenty-five, and I’m twenty-two. What about you?” Derek would guess a little bit older than him, but not by much.

  “I’ll be thirty-two next month.”

  “No way—I would put you at twenty-five, tops. Guys, can you believe Sawyer’s thirty-two?” Derek was honestly surprised.

  “Not a chance. You look like a baby,” Luke noted.

  “That’s what my… James used to say.”

  “Your James?” Derek asked as he grabbed a couple of Cokes out of the fridge and handed one over to Sawyer. Damn. He’d assumed Sawyer was single and not seeing anyone. Which was a shame. Well, good for Sawyer, but a shame for him, as he’d been hoping to get much friendlier with Sawyer. The benefits kind of friendly.

  “Yes. Thank you for the Coke.”

  “So, who’s your James?” And was he joining Sawyer? That hadn’t been the impression he’d gotten, but long-distance relationships were hard.

  “He was my husband.”

  “Was?” Oh man. Divorced. That sucked for Sawyer.

  “Yes.”

  Derek looked for a ring, but it was on the wrong hand. Weird. And Sawyer was sticking to his one-syllable answers. He was curious, but it would probably be crass to keep pushing for more information.

  “Was it a bad breakup?” Benny asked. Trust Benny to not care about crassness or being polite.

  “What?” Sawyer blinked, then blushed dark. “Oh no. No. He had leukemia. He died. No breaking up.”

  “Oh man. That sucks.” Benny held his beer up for a moment, then took a sip.

  “I’m sorry.” No wonder the guy looked sad. “Is that why you moved here?”

  “We had a whole life, and I needed to start over. Everywhere I went it was like he was right there.”

  Derek followed his instincts again and went over to Sawyer to give him another hug. “I’m really sorry.”

  “I am too, but I can’t change it, so….” Sawyer sighed softly, patted his back. “We should save the burgers, yeah?”

  “No worries, I’ve got ’em,” Luke said. “There’s dogs too. And we’re almost ready. The baked potatoes are probably gonna be another half hour, but we can start with the meat.”

  Personally, Derek thought that Luke would be just as happy skipping the potatoes altogether. He wasn’t exactly Mr. I Love Veggies, and unlike a lot of people, he counted potatoes as vegetables.

  “Thank you for the welcome. I appreciate it. I’ll contribute next time.”

  “We’re not worried.” Benny opened another beer. “We know where you live.”

  “Yeah. I’ll have to have everyone over someday soon.”

  Right, when Sawyer had chairs, because right now, there was no way Sawyer could host anything but a BYOB and BYOC
party, where the last B was booze and the last C was chair.

  “Sure, whatever. We’re easy.” Benny waggled his eyebrows. “And I mean that any way you want to take it.”

  Sawyer chuckled softly. “I’m still in flux, with furniture and stuff. I sold everything from before.”

  “That’s pretty brave,” Derek noted. To just leave everyone and everything behind. Even if it wasn’t a great situation, it still took guts to just go.

  “It was necessary. The burgers smell good.” Sawyer was clearly ready to change the subject.

  “Yeah. Are they done yet, Luke? We’re starving here.” And Derek would bet Sawyer was hungrier than any of them—he knew for sure the guy hadn’t eaten since he drove in, aside from the ice cream, as Sawyer had spent the rest of the afternoon in Derek’s bed. Only not like how that sounded, even in his head.

  Derek sort of liked the idea of the lean body in his sheets, even if only sleeping. It would have been a nummy visual. He’d been good and hadn’t peeked in.

  He was getting a boner just thinking about it, though, so he popped up and grabbed a couple of plates. “You want a burger and a dog, Sawyer?”

  “Just a hamburger, please. Then I’ll check my appetite.”

  “You like ’em dressed?” They had condiments but no bacon for them, though Luke had said there was bacon if people wanted.

  “Can I have mustard and pickles, please?”

  “You got it.” Derek grabbed those out of the little fridge, along with the ketchup, and dressed Sawyer’s burger, his own, and the two hot dogs he was going to eat. He handed Sawyer his plate before sitting back down next to the guy.

  Sawyer sat so precise and contained—quiet, but pleasant. Derek was kind of fascinated by everything about him.

  Derek listened to Benny and Luke joking around, talking about the latest Transformers movie like it was gold, but mostly he was watching Sawyer. He couldn’t believe Sawyer was ten years older than him—the pretty blond looked like a teenager, his bright blue eyes wide and unlined.

  He wondered what those downturned lips would feel like against his. He bet Sawyer would be sweet, tasty. Hell, he bet they could teach Sawyer a thing or two—Luke was something else. He was not helping his boner out at all with this line of thought. Or with watching Sawyer’s mouth.

  Sawyer’s lips were made for sucking, that was for sure. He found himself licking his own. Damn, he wanted to lean right in and feel Sawyer’s lips against his.

  “You’re thinking wicked thoughts, Derek,” Luke whispered.

  “Fuck off,” he whispered back. He shifted, bringing up his right leg so his hard-on was shielded from Sawyer’s gaze.

  “Uh-huh. You gotta wonder why Mike and Reg decided to rent to a widower, huh?”

  He frowned and turned his attention to Luke. “What? Why?” What did it matter if Sawyer was a widower? It wasn’t like he was an octogenarian widower who would bitch about the music or the bed banging against the wall or anything.

  “I just meant because we’re so… well-suited.”

  “Maybe they saw something in him that you don’t.” Derek felt protective of Sawyer. He didn’t know if it was because he’d seen Sawyer first, or if it was the sadness he felt in him or what, but he didn’t want Luke and Benny to make Sawyer feel bad.

  “He’ll be a great neighbor regardless, I’m sure.” Luke patted his thigh.

  “He is going to be a great neighbor, I can feel it.” And Derek was pretty sure it wasn’t simply wishful thinking on his part.

  “You want to feel him,” murmured Luke.

  He walloped his friend in the shoulder.

  “What? You know it’s true!” Luke popped him back.

  “Shut up!” He couldn’t very well retaliate, though, because Luke was 100 percent right. Derek wanted to invite Sawyer to sleep with him tonight, and he didn’t want to keep his hands to himself.

  His eyes went back to Sawyer.

  Sawyer had finished his burger and was wandering, exploring the backyard, the shed, the little bare flower patch.

  “He walks like he’d be a good lay,” Luke noted.

  Derek couldn’t disagree. There was a sexy, loose-limbed easiness in Sawyer’s gait. Something unconsciously sensual and delicious.

  “You think he’d let us all pounce him?” Benny asked.

  “Not tonight.” Luke went over to Benny and rubbed up against him. “Come on upstairs and let me show you the new toys I bought.”

  “New toys?” Benny lit up. He was so easy. Of course, Derek could hardly comment—he was pretty easy himself.

  “Uh-huh. Brand-new and picked out with you in mind.” Luke turned back to Derek. “Come join if you get bored.”

  “I won’t. But thanks.”

  “Put the potatoes away for me? We can eat them for a midnight snack.”

  “Sure.” Derek was surprised, actually, that Benny had even remembered there were potatoes still on the grill.

  He watched as Luke and Benny headed upstairs, goosing each other all the way. Their laughter faded as they went into Luke’s place, the door closing behind them.

  Derek shook his head and rescued the potatoes. He put them in the fridge, then put the condiments away too, and turned off the gas to the grill.

  “Do you need some help? Or I could finish if you, uh, need to go,” Sawyer suggested.

  “That was kind of it, aside from throwing out the trash. I was thinking of going back to mine and playing some Call of Duty—wanna join?” He sent “say yes” vibes toward Sawyer but kept from leering or looking in any way too eager.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t played anything in a long time.”

  “I’ll be gentle with you,” he promised.

  “Maybe one game. Then I have to go unpack my cot and blankets.” Sawyer’s eyes cut to the flower garden. “Does anyone work in the garden? Is that something I’d be able to do?”

  “Sure. None of us are into planting shit. Are you good at it?” He held the back door open for Sawyer.

  Sawyer gave him a soft smile. “Yeah. I am. It’s comforting.”

  “Yeah? Cool.” He opened his door and ushered Sawyer in. “You’re sleeping on one of those foldout cots, right? The kind without a mattress.” Because there sure as hell hadn’t been any mattresses in the SUV. “You really should sleep in my bed again tonight. You know it’s more than big enough for the both of us.”

  “Oh, I can’t impose. That would be wrong.”

  “It would be wrong if you were imposing, but you aren’t, so it isn’t. You can stay till you get your own bed. I honestly don’t mind.” He would even keep his hands to himself unless Sawyer made a pass. That he would definitely pick up.

  “I just… there wasn’t any reason to pay to move them across country, you know?” Sawyer gave him an apologetic look, which was totally unnecessary in Derek’s opinion.

  “Makes sense. Brand-new start and all that too.” They went to his couch, and he offered Sawyer a game remote.

  “Yeah. I needed it. I sold the house, the furniture, everything.”

  “Wow. So a real cleanup and fresh start. You sure don’t do things by half.” Derek turned on the TV and assumed gaming position.

  “No. No, I most definitely don’t.” Sawyer focused on the remote, studying it.

  “I think that means you’ll fit in well around here.”

  “I hope so. I’m trying to be… to find a home,” Sawyer admitted.

  He wrapped his arm around Sawyer and gave him a side-hug. He hoped Sawyer could be happy here because he thought the guy needed some happy in his life.

  Hell, he thought the guy needed some orgasms. Lucky for Sawyer, that was totally in his wheelhouse.

  Derek leaned over, their shoulders pressing together, and showed Sawyer which buttons did what. They started playing, and it might have been a while since Sawyer had gamed, but he was back in the thick of it in no time, and they worked well together. Sawyer was willing to tease and joke, even if the jibes were far gentler than Dere
k was used to.

  They were laughing, celebrating a win, and Sawyer looked happy, bright. Derek couldn’t resist, and he leaned in and pressed their mouths together. Sawyer blinked, staring at him wide-eyed. He took it as a good sign that Sawyer didn’t back off, so he pressed harder, rubbing their lips together and enjoying the way it warmed him down to his balls.

  “I—” Poor Sawyer looked so confused.

  He kept kissing. They didn’t need to talk, and he figured Sawyer’s body would kick in soon and tell Sawyer what to do. His sure was.

  Come on, man. Chill. Let something feel good.

  Derek reached up, tangled his fingers in Sawyer’s shaggy hair, and tugged. Sawyer’s lips opened right up. Oh yeah, just like that.

  He slipped his tongue in, deepening the kiss, and Sawyer opened wider, let him in farther. He hummed happily, loving the taste of Sawyer as he discovered it. Sawyer melted underneath him, the lean body beginning to move in a dance older than time.

  He shifted slightly, pressing down against Sawyer with about half his weight. Sawyer felt so good beneath him, moving to meet his body as he ground down against him.

  “I shouldn’t do this. I don’t know you.” Sawyer’s body never stopped moving.

  “We can stop if you really don’t want to, but there’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing. We’re making each other feel good.” He pressed their groins together harder, enjoying the way Sawyer’s trapped boner rubbed against his own.

  Sawyer nodded. “Yeah. It feels amazing.”

  “There you go.” He went back to kissing Sawyer and grinding them together. He ran his fingers through Sawyer’s hair and pushed his tongue into Sawyer’s mouth.

  Christ, Sawyer was starving for attention, for touch. How long had it been? How bad….

  He kept one hand in Sawyer’s hair as he moved the other over Sawyer’s body. Searching for skin, he tugged the T-shirt out of Sawyer’s jeans and stroked the warm, smooth skin of Sawyer’s belly. Fuck, so pretty. So damned fine.

  Derek curled his fingers into Sawyer’s waistband and rubbed harder. God, he needed to get their jeans open before they creamed them. Or at least before he did. He could only assume that Sawyer was in the same straits as him.