He ground the object of her curiosity against her belly. His breath tickled her ear. “I want you so damn much right now, Baby, it hurts.”
“Tony, I-”
Stepping back he cut her off. “It’s alright. I can wait.”
He turned away from her then. From the heaving of his shoulders as he leaned over his desk she could tell he was taking deep gulps of air. She wondered if he were in some kind of pain. It looked as if he were. She took a step towards him to rest a hand on his arm trying to muster up the courage to tell him what she wanted. He flinched at the contact then looked at her from over his shoulder. “I’ll be alright. I just need a minute but could you do me a favor?”
“What is it?”
His expression was pained. “Could you please put your clothes back on? Seeing you like that-”
He shuddered and turned his head away.
At first Sarah felt hurt. Was she that repulsive? Then she realized she was standing there practically naked in front of a very aroused man that was trying desperately to regain his self- control. She quickly turned her back to him. After pulling her shorts back on she scooped up her bra and t-shirt before racing out of the room and into her office. Once behind closed doors she dressed and finger combed her hair. Unsure of what to do next she paced the confines waiting for Tony to come get her. Minutes passed and she continued to pace as she allowed him the time he needed to get himself back under control.
Mentally she berated herself for allowing things to get this far. It hadn't been her intention to go quite so crazy with him. In truth, she hadn't even expected her attraction to him to last past the initial rush. Not only had it lasted it had grown and now despite her uncertainty about a future together she wanted him. It didn't matter anymore that he wasn't a black man. All that mattered was that she cared deeply for him and she wanted him just as much as he had wanted her. If he hadn't stepped back too cool things down she wasn't entirely sure she would have had the strength to do it. Yes, she was frightened by the size of him but she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. She had already shared his bed, albeit in a fairly innocent way but now she wanted to know it all. She wanted to know every intimate detail of Tony’s body, wanted him to know hers in the same way. She just needed to find the courage to tell him how she felt.
Another glance at the clock told her that twenty minutes had passed since she'd left Tony in his office. Was he still dealing or was he on his way? How long did it take for a man to cool off from an aborted sexual encounter anyway? Did he need to take matters into his own hands to take the edge off? She would feel guilty if he did. There was no way he would feel good about resorting to personal gratification when the woman he wanted was only a few feet away. Moving to the door she cracked it open and peered into the hall. She couldn’t hear a sound. She opened the door wider and stood there listening and searching for a light under one of the other three doors to see where he might be. All was quiet and no light shined from any of the doors. In fact, they all stood open and dark. Frowning she checked each one starting with the grooming room, then the bathroom and finally Tony's office. As she suspected they were all empty and to add to her concern, she noticed that his car keys were missing from the place on his desk, he had tossed them earlier.
She made her way downstairs listening all the while for any kind of human sounds but only encountered the occasional bird noises and rustling wings. By the time she reached the first floor landing she knew. All the lights were still off and when she looked out the glass door to the small parking lot she noticed Tony's truck was gone. The realization stunned her. Dropping down on the bottom step she lowered her head onto her folded arms and tried to figure out what had just happened.
Why would Tony leave like that and not even take the time to speak with her? Had she done something wrong? Was he just tired of dealing with a girlfriend that wouldn't put out? That last thought rang truer than she would have liked but she was nothing if not a realist. So she had to accept the fact that he may have gotten tired of going home night after night with a serious case of blue balls. The fact that he hadn't even said goodbye pretty much said it all. She could accept that even if she didn't like it gut what pissed her off beyond all reason was the fact that he hadn't given her the courtesy of even speaking to her. He'd just left as if he had nothing to say to her. How could he have done that? Her conscience was quick to respond. Easy, he lied.
She’d only ever been a conquest to Tony and once it became clear that Sarah was a bigger challenge than he had anticipated he’d given up. All that talk about being patient and wanting to be with her for more than just sex, was just a bunch of bull. Let’s face it, the man is gorgeous, successful and knows how to please a woman. His past success proved it. He could get any woman he wanted so why on Earth would he waste another minute on a woman like her?
Sarah took a long shaky breath then exhaled. Why did this hurt so much more than all the other times? She wasn't even sure that she and Tony would make it as a couple yet his betrayal felt so much worse than all the others combined. Why?
"You'd think I would have built up some kind of immunity to this kind of thing by now." She mumbled miserably to herself as she locked up and drove home.
“I have an answer for you but I guarantee you’re not gonna like it.” Shawna said taking a sip of her wine and leaning back on the couch. Sarah had just finished recounting the events of the day to her girls as they commiserated in her living room over a huge pepperoni and green pepper pizza.
Sarah took a fortifying sip of her own wine before she nodded. “Go ahead, hit me with it.”
“You don’t just want to make love with Tony. You're in love with him, girl."
“No, I’m not.”
Giselle snickered from her place on the carpet. “Uh, yeah you are. Look at how you are with the guy. You’ve never been this broken up whenever anyone else acted like a butthead. You just cut your losses and kept it moving. So, tell me cupcake. Why is this one so different? Can you see yourself walking away so easily this time?”
The truth rang through her as she thought hard about it. As if to emphasize the moment a loud clap of thunder made the three women jump then as if realizing how silly they were being they started to giggle. Finally Sarah sighed and plopped back on the couch cushions.
“Ugh! I hate it when you’re right. I wasn’t looking for this and as mismatched as we are I never expected anything to come of it. In fact knowing what I know about him I still can’t believe he’d even be attracted to me but-”
“But you foolishly gave your heart to a man that doesn’t seem to deserve it and that is why you’re upset.” Giselle supplied. In their little group she was always the one to point out the obvious but painful truth of situations.
“I’m not just hurt.” Sarah admitted. “I’m mad as hell. Who does he think he is treating me like that?”
“Before you get yourself all worked up again, don’t you think you owe it to the both of you to find out what happened? I mean it sounds kind of far -fetched but maybe he had a reason for what he did. You never know. Maybe he got sick or something came up.” Shawna, the peacemaker, suggested.
Giselle glared across the coffee table at her. “Whose side are you on? The guy is clearly a dick. If he really was sick or having some kind of emergency don’t you think he would have told her before he took off like he did if he cared even a little bit about her?”
“Maybe, but I still think it’s worth it to find out before completely writing this one off.”
When Sarah just looked at her Shawna shrugged. “Just give him a chance. You’ve lost nothing by hearing him out right?”
“I guess. I’m just not sure if I should believe him. I mean how will I know if he’s lying?”
“Sometimes you have to take the risk.” Giselle added.
Shawna and Sarah both stared at her like she’d suddenly grown two heads. Her response was to look indignant. “What? I can be reasonable on occasion. I’m not a hard ass all the time.”
&nb
sp; “Maybe not but you’re not usually this soft either.” Sarah said kindly reaching over she rested a hand on her friend’s. It seems to me I’m not the only one having man troubles right now.”
“Eh, we can talk about my situation some other time. I’d rather focus on something easier to understand.”
“Now you’ve got our full attention. Spill girl.” Shawna clutched one of Sarah’s couch pillows and wiggled excitedly.
Giselle just rolled her eyes. “Instead of worrying about us and what we’re up to why don’t you find your own trouble to get into? Which reminds me-”
She reached for her phone and pressed a few buttons before handing over the device for the other ladies to see. There was an image of a gorgeous brother wearing nothing but a tool belt and a pair of very low slung jeans. His magnificently sculpted chest was bare showing off not only his muscles but his flawless chocolate brown skin. The expression on his face was scorching hot.
“A friend of mine found this on the internet. She knows the photographer. This was for a calendar she was doing to benefit a homeless shelter. I’m surprised you haven’t met him yet Shawna Babe. He is after all in your field.”
The other woman frowned. “What do you mean? He’s an architect too?”
“Nope, he’s a contractor and from what I understand a really good one too. He just took over his father’s business and has been building it up for a few years now.”
“Pretty sure I would have remembered if I’d met a guy like that before. What’s his name?”
“Tyrone something, I can’t remember his last name.”
Shawna handed the phone to Sarah. “What do you think?”
Sarah just shrugged before handing the phone back to Giselle. The other two women looked at her bug-eyed.
“You cannot be serious. The guy is an Adonis.” Giselle insisted.
Sarah laughed for the first time that night. “You haven’t seen Tony. Pretty sure he could give this Tyrone guy a run for his money, even if he isn’t a brother.”
The outspoken friend snorted. “Yeah right. Prove it.”
Sarah took another drink of her wine and considered. It wasn’t like Tony asked her not to tell anyone and these were her girls. They wouldn’t judge any more than she had. “Ok, I want to show you something but before I do you have to swear to me on a stack of Cosmos for you Giselle and Architectural Digests for your Shawna that you will not tell a soul about what I’m going to show you.”
The two women shared a look then grinned. “Deal.”
It took a few tries but soon Sarah found the site she was looking for and typed in the now familiar name. She then turned the screen towards her two eager friends. They checked out the screen. Giselle even went so far as to scroll through the links and checked out more of the photos than even Sarah had seen.
“Why are you showing this to us?” Shawna finally asked.
Sarah went on to explain how she came to know about the site and who they were looking at. Giselle of course was the first to respond.
“Get the hell out of here. This is not your boyfriend.”
Sarah left the room and came back with her own phone. She pushed a few buttons and called up her photos then handed it to the other woman. There were several photos of Tony, some with Sarah some alone or with co-workers at the store. As the two women scrolled through them she told them about Christy blackmailing him and the whole sordid tale about Tony’s last relationship. The two women grew silent.
“Wow, that’s a huge secret to have to keep to yourself.” Shawna replied.
“I hate bitches like that. They make me want to kick all their asses. This is why men think that all good looking women want is to take advantage of them. I mean I’m pretty spectacular all on my own. I don’t need a man to pay my bills. I can do that all by myself.”
“I agree.” Sarah said. “If I’m with a man it’s because I want him not what he has or can do for me.”
“Well I wouldn’t go that far. I would love it if the guy could give me as many orgasms as he possibly can. Tell me Sarah Dear have you taken a look at the goods yet?”
“Why would you ask that? You know I’m still a virgin.”
“Doesn’t mean your eyes are or your hands for that matter. You could have at least copped a feel while he was doing all that groping earlier tonight.” While Giselle talked she was typing into Sarah’s laptop. Moments later the room was filled with moaning and groaning.
Sarah snatched back her laptop. “What did you do?”
The screen showed the much younger Tony getting his dick sucked off by a dark haired woman and the sounds they heard were apparently coming from him. The women watched for a few moments. Giselle looked smug. Shawna appeared to be in awe and Sarah was in shock. When the screen Tony picked the naked woman up and roughly tossed her onto the nearby couch and stocked her Sarah quickly slammed the machine closed.
“Well, now you know what he’s packing in those jeans. Maybe you should give him a little something to remember you by before you dump his ass.”
“A little something,” Shawna squealed. “That was far from little and I’m pretty sure our friend would be walking funny for a week after that.”
“How would you know?” Giselle asked. “You’re practically a virgin yourself. That weasel Adam doesn’t count. His dick was probably so little you still have your-”
“Giselle stop!” Sarah warned. “Don’t let your mouth write a check your butt can’t cash. This is Shawna you’re talking to. She may be all sweet and quiet but you know she is nobody’s pushover. Beside, we do not hit our friends below the belt like you did.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry Shawna Babe. You know I didn’t mean it. I’m just trippin.” The other woman leaned over and gave her friend a hug. “You can kick my butt if you want.”
“Nah, it’s too big and I don’t have on the right shoes.” Shawna teased letting her know everything was alright between them.
Chapter Nine
Driving to work the next morning Tony felt like scum. The weather hadn’t let up since last night and the rain pouring down his windshield matched his wretched mood. Who knew what Sarah thought of him after sneaking out of the shop that way he had. He had tried his best the night before to be as quiet as he could when he snuck out but wasn't sure if it had been quiet enough so who knew how long it took before she realized he was gone. Each step he took away from her felt like he'd tripped yet another alarm. The bells sounding in his head were just that but still he knew even as he was doing it that he was making a huge mistake. The problem was, he didn't see that he had any other choice. He’d violated her trust when he had unbuttoned her pants and if he had allowed himself to continue down that road he would have taken her virginity right there against the wall.
Tony had wanted Sarah so much and she’d trusted him not to pressure her. When he'd finally mustered enough strength to drag himself away from her beautiful body it felt like a hole had been driven into his chest and his heart had been ripped out. It wasn't just that he wanted to make love to her, he cared more about her than any other woman in his past. As he'd told her before, she was more than just a piece of ass to him. If that's all he'd wanted he could have taken Christy home plenty of times before that and damn the guilt. He also had other female friends he could have called if the mood struck. But he hadn't wanted just anyone. He'd wanted Sarah. Only she would do. Unfortunately, after last night she would probably never speak to him again and the thought terrified him.
Sighing he left his office and went downstairs to see how everyone was doing. There were the usual deliveries expected that day along with a visit from a breeder. Rounding the corner on the first floor he took note of the fact that Christy was manning the register then continued past her to check on how things looked in the bird room. The room was spotless as it always was at this time of the morning so he moved on to the main sales floor and looked in on the kennel and the small animals. Maria and Ashley were hard at work putting it to rights but the sales
floor was spotless and the display shelves in the immediate area were tidy and dust free. This satisfied him as usual but he felt as if something wasn't right. Making his way downstairs using the front staircase he noted the sounds of the guys tending to the fish tanks and the exotic pets. Jimmy was manning the register at the back entrance. It hit Tony then what was off. Turning to Jimmy he asked. "Any idea where Sarah is?"
Jimmy shrugged. “Haven't seen her yet this morning. Maybe she's in back."
Nodding, Tony passed back through the numerous tanks on the sales floor to the rear door. The space opened up to a dimly lit break area. As soon as he stepped inside he knew she wasn't there. Not a sound could be heard, not running water or even footsteps. He took the back stairs up to the main floor and entered using the door behind the register. Christy was still standing behind the counter. She greeted him with another warm smile.
"Hey Tony, what's up?"
He looked around before answering. "Have you seen Sarah? I can't find her anywhere."
The expression on her pretty face soured immediately but before she could speak the bell over the front door jingled merrily drawing their attention. It was Sarah. Dressed in a light blue rain slicker with the hood pulled down low over her eyes Tony was unable to read her expression. Without acknowledging the two people at the register she immediately moved towards the staircase leading to the offices. Tony could have sworn she had seen him standing there and began to worry even more. He turned back to the woman at the counter when he heard Christy snickering.
“What are you laughing about?” He asked.
“You, I admit you put on a good show last night with all your talk about you and Sarah being together but after what I just saw I can’t believe I was that stupid. She walked in and didn’t say a thing. Don’t you think she would have at least said hello or give you a kiss or something if you were really together?”
His Redemption Page 11