by Dakota Krout
“It was… very nice to meet you, Daniella.” Joe didn't wait for a response and appeared in the temple at the Pathfinder’s Hall in the next instant.
Calculation drain has taken effect! Overthinking so much made you miss a great chance!
“What? What was that about?” Joe glared at the notification. Shrugging, he stepped away from the altar and walked toward his friends. He had been thinking about his team, and had resolved to spend time hunting and completing quests with them.
He caught up to the group just as they were leaving Towney. “Hey guys! Got room for one more?”
“Joe! Of course!” Jaxon skipped over and gave Joe a hug. “We were just discussing whether we should continue on with you or apply for a different team leader, so I am very glad to see you putting in the effort!”
“You what!” Joe looked around at the group, but they merely shrugged.
Alexis motioned that they should keep walking. “Joe, we aren't trying to get rid of you, we are just trying to have a full party when we go out every day.”
“You’re already the second-in-command. Should we assign an alternate that rotates in when I’m not able to make it? Then you go out, Alexis is in charge, and you have a full team when I’m not here.” Joe’s words made most of them slowly nod, and Poppy actually sighed in relief.
“Thank goodness.” Poppy winked at Joe. “Wasn’t sure how we were going to kick you from your party, and I gotta tell you… it’s been getting really difficult to clear different areas with only four people. Well… three people and Jaxon.”
“I am a person!” Jaxon insisted as he skipped along backwards next to them.
“Of course ya are, ya big goofball,” Bard agreed before turning to Poppy and shaking his head ‘no’ with wide-open eyes.
“Why has it been getting so hard to clear areas?” Joe had to hurry to keep up with everyone, making him wonder how they had become so fast.
“Easy.” Alexis waved at the area around them, which had been cleared of all trees and turned into fields. “We, humanity, are expanding real fast. A billion people dropped onto Midgard, and a small portion of them are way better at min-maxing than the established guilds or other players. The vast majority are not good at gaming, and are expanding and making this a safe zone. Hunting monsters is getting harder because only the ones that are really hard to kill, or can’t be hunted for food, are surviving.”
“To me, it sounds like non-combat professions are going to start being the norm again…” Joe trailed off, so Poppy nodded and filled in what Joe was missing.
“Just like Earth,” Poppy stated grimly. “It is likely that combat professions are going to be pushed out, and will eventually stagnate. There is a huge rush for fighting classes to get to the next Zone, but so far as we know… no one has been able to get their second Specialization. Lots of high levels, though no one is taking that step.”
“People have still tried to get to the next Zone, though, right?” Joe looked around, noting the wincing nods. “It was that bad?”
“If the forums can be trusted, then everyone who tried it died and had a huge debuff. They were stuck in respawn for days, and when they got out… everything they’d had with them had been destroyed. Gear, weapons, money, spatial bags, things that were supposed to be soulbound… everything.” Alexis shook her head at that. “It seems to be the same for everyone that’s tried it.”
“Geez… all I’ve wanted to do since hearing about that Zone is get to it.” Joe sighed as he realized that goal might be a little too far away at the moment.
“Think about when we were playing games on Earth and a new expansion came out,” Poppy offered with much hand-waving. “It was always announced early to build hype, and then there was usually a whole host of quests, items, and whatever else was needed in order to actually get there. Sure, we know it exists, and we plan to get there… it’ll just be a while.”
“We’re here!” Jaxon clapped his hands excitedly. “Joe, we found out that clearing this dungeon gives characteristic points as a reward! We need to agree what points we want before we go in, and the challenge changes based on that!”
“Is that how you guys have been getting so fast?” The group nodded at Joe’s question.
“Been selectin’ dexterity every day.” Bard chimed in. “Lower yer threshold, higher the reward.”
“I’ve only gotten a single point for clearing it every day.” Jaxon admitted sadly.
“Ahm gettin’ five ah day, but I got ta fifty yesterday. Everyone else is gettin’ three ah day, so that’s what I’m expectin’ today.” Bard gave a thumbs-up.
This was exactly what Joe needed. He grinned at the others as they passed the high-powered Guild guards. Apparently, this was a place that outsiders were not allowed into; and for good reason. If this place became too overused, who could say if the rewards it gave out would stay so good?
“One more thing,” Alexis told Joe. “No cost to get in, but the rule is that you need to donate all meat or food gained to the Guild. All other loot is free game.”
“Works for me.” Joe followed along, stepping into a seemingly massive space floating high in the sky. “This is a massive… puzzle? Maze? What...?”
You have entered the Dungeon ‘Trial section 118b’. Please cast your vote for party challenge! Strength / Dexterity / Constitution / Intelligence / Wisdom / Charisma / Perception / Luck.
Joe selected ‘dexterity’, as they had agreed previously.
Average party dexterity… 72. Scaling difficulty to 50-100 dexterity range. Good luck!
“What sort of monsters are in here?” Joe quizzed as the huge cube… thing… space? Whatever it was that was suspended in the sky twisted until a door appeared in front of them. A platform formed in the empty space, and they took turns jumping to it and then to the door.
Jaxon did a backflip to get to the door, and grinned at Joe. “The monsters in here are Neigh-Bears. Basically a centaur, but a cross between a horse and a bear. A bison, maybe? Eh, either way, huge, mean, and their main attack is a straight charge that you need to dodge. Also… good eatin’. You’ve been eating Neigh-Bears if you’ve had any meat at the guild in the last week.”
“The goal of this dungeon is…?” Joe stopped speaking when he saw a massive number of creatures in a pasture. They seemed to be standing on an enormous disk, and along the side… there was only darkness off the edge.
“You need to dodge a hundred charging Neigh-Bears, and get to the center area.” Poppy explained succinctly. “You can usually make that happen just by getting to the center. Plenty of creatures to avoid.”
“This is my favorite part.” Jaxon exclaimed as he stepped into the grassland. “Come get some old-man meat!”
The collective bellow from the creatures almost made Joe pee a little. It was the roar of a bear coupled with the high-pitched scream of a horse. Every creature they could see rushed them at top speed.
“Come get some!” Jaxon screamed back at them as his hands morphed into hungry T-Rex heads. “The weak are meat, the strong get to eat!”
Chapter Twelve
Charging attacks avoided: 36/100.
Joe was twisting in midair, having finally found an outlet for his jumping skill. “Bard, on your left!”
The stocky Skald was having the most trouble of anyone present, but he still managed to roll out of the way of the thundering hooves. “Son of a biscuit muncher!”
“I told you to join my yoga class and get that dexterity up!” Alexis called out.
“Ah’ve been doin’ this!” Bard shouted back, though he was somewhat muffled by the grass he was attempting to spit out. “Rah!”
A Neigh-Bear hit him from the side, its thick claws tearing open a wide gash along Bard’s side. His armor protected his chest from getting the same treatment, but he went tumbling away from the sheer physics of the strike. Bard rolled to his feet and charged the beast in return. “Imma eat ya, bear-brain!”
Joe landed with a spinning flourish that
halted his momentum and made another beast miss him by inches.
Charging attacks avoided: 37/100.
“Dark Lightning Strike!” Joe called out; his words instantly punctuated by a strange, near-silent bolt of darkness; every enemy within roughly ten feet of him took damage. The closest creature took ten damage, while everything else including his nearby teammates took only five.
Skill increase: Dark Lightning Strike (Novice II).
“That did literally nothing to them!” Jaxon called as he used Joe’s shoulders as a springboard and landed on the horse portion of a Neigh-Bear. His hands tore into the back of its neck, and the beast collapsed a moment later. “Store that for me? I think you have a large storage, right? Oh! Good! Since you’re useless fighting against these without ruining the meat, you can be our loot wench!”
“Add that to the list of things to never say again, Jaxon!” Alexis called over. The Neigh-Bears around her were still, and as she passed them, they fell to the ground. “Get these ones too, Joe. The poison won't hurt the meat, it just melts their brain for a second or two.”
“Another thing I can't say? I’m already over here having an existential crisis about the mechanisms of those vertebrae, and now I can’t say things?” Jaxon whined as he slapped a fuzzy muzzle. “You youngsters sure are picky about verbiage.”
“Words have power here, Jaxon, and people have enough power that making them mad can get you killed over and over,” Alexis explained for what must have been the tenth time. “Joe, these are good for experience if you can manage to take them down. They are designed to be hard-countered by people with high dexterity, which means they are all strength and constitution; they hit hard and have a lot of health.”
Joe nodded and got himself ready. His lightning had a six-minute cooldown, so that was out for now. He was okay with that, as he had plenty of options to work with. The shadows of the long grass started shifting as he gathered them, and after a nerve-wracking moment, he pushed them into the shape of an angled spear and solidified them. The Neigh-Bear that was charging hit the spear and impaled itself, its momentum halted as it hit the wide guard halfway down the shaft.
Damage dealt: 330 (300+10% Pierce the Darkest Night title bonus)
“These things are armored?” Joe muttered after taking an instant to read the message. “Must be their thick hide counting as natural armor? Acid Spray!”
As the acid ate into the whinnying creature, Joe once again saw the armor-piercing effect come into play. He wanted to test it more, but was trampled from the side as he stared at the first and forgot to pay attention to the remainder of the creatures.
Debuffs activated: Risk Assessment. Calculation drain. You have fully lost focus of combat and are held until acted upon by an outside force!
Damage taken: 228 (228 damage absorbed by Exquisite Shell).
Exquisite Shell: 482/1510.
Joe skidded across the blood-slick grass, somehow staying upright. He shook off the effects of his loss of focus, and managed to leap over the next attack. As he was coming down, another Neigh-Bear swiped at him, but Joe managed to twist around it in midair and land solidly on his feet.
Charging attacks avoided: 38/100.
Skill increase: Aerial Acrobatics (Beginner II).
“Dodging swiping attacks doesn’t count?” Joe grumbled as he started working to get to the center of the area. The area from the start of the dungeon to the center covered about a mile, and dodging the entire way was destroying his stamina. He was down to a third, and it was only coming back slowly. But this was one of the reasons he was here: to increase his physical stats.
“It literally says ‘charging attacks’ in the quest.” Poppy landed next to him and shoved, sending both of them out of the way of an oncoming wall of flesh.
Charging attacks avoided: 39/100.
“That counted!” Joe slyly made a plan to make his journey to the center of the area more efficient. First, he would get everyone in position, then they would literally bounce off each- “Ow!”
Risk Assessment has activated.
Sneak attack! 510 damage taken! (482 absorbed by Exquisite Shell.)
Health: 332/350
Joe’s shield took a critical hit and shattered, leaving him unprotected against the remaining attacks coming his way. “Ahh! Why is that activating so much? It's supposed to be ten percent!”
He started jogging toward the escape area, dodging and flipping out of the straight-line assaults. Joe was particularly proud of dodging an attack by leaping at a passing Neigh-Bear and pushing off of it, causing two of the huge beasts to collide. “Ha!”
Jaxon’s body seemed to materialize next to the two creatures, and in an instant he had sunk his hands into their necks. Sprays of blood came from both as the T-Rex heads were pulled back, and Jaxon laughed maniacally as he was coated in the hot liquid. Joe narrowed his eyes and aimed at the left one. “Corify!”
Skill increase: Corify (Novice II).
“Yes! That one must have worked!” Joe dashed over and thrust his hips at the beast, storing it in his codpiece.
“Really, Joe? Teabagging is so… toxic gamer.” Jaxon *tsked* and shook his head.
“Not at all what I was doing, and you know it.” Joe looked around, noticing that they had cleared the area and now had a few minutes before any other creatures would be near them. “Jaxon, how often does your threshold debuff go off?”
“My what?” Jaxon looked over from allowing his hands to devour the other Neigh-Bear to maintain their form. “Sorry, Joe, no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Open up your menu and look at the ‘active effects’ tab. What’s the percentage for charisma failure?” Joe was starting to get impatient.
“Nothing here but title effects, a ‘filthy’ notification, and my hands.” Jaxon shrugged and kept working his hands deeper into the flank of the downed beast. “I’ve never heard of a threshold debuff.”
Joe frowned and thought through the implications. “Could this be… an effect of Tatum? Is this a ‘hidden’ stat that I can somehow see?”
Wisdom +1! Wow, that one was a long time coming. You should open up better communication channels with your people. Ya know what? You did just do that, so…
Charisma +1!
“Ignoring the snark. Alright… I need to think… I have five debuffs that have a chance to activate with almost any action. So… I don't have a ten percent chance of things going wrong. I have an, um, ten plus five plus… I have a thirty-one percent chance of things going really wrong?” Joe waited for a characteristic upgrade, but shrugged when nothing appeared. “I need to test this. I need to science this. Hypothesis is formed; now comes various experimentation. Unlike other people, I can see when these activate, which means that I-”
Calculation drain!
“Joe!” Jaxon tackled Joe, and they rolled out of the way of a charge. Unfortunately, Lefty latched onto Joe and pulled off a chunk of his bicep. “I was yelling at you to move!”
Joe screamed as he grabbed at his arm. His health plummeted, reaching forty-one points remaining in only seconds. “Lay on hands!”
Health: 281/350. Bleeding debuff removed!
It was kinda trippy watching his muscle and skin regrow out of dark water, but Joe forced himself to focus. He glared at the Neigh-Bear and held out a hand. He grunted out of pure frustration and dropped his hand. “At this moment, I am realizing that I only have three ways of damaging that beast. Acid, which is out of range, shaping darkness over a few long seconds, or my dark lightning which is on cooldown. I need to get some more versatile spells.”
“Here, I can bite it, if that’ll make you feel better?” Jaxon kindly offered.
“You know, it would make me feel better?” With Joe's blessing, Jaxon ran at the beast as it was turning around, latched his hands into it, and chomped down on its ear with his own mouth. The Neigh-Bear roared, and Joe dropped his head into his hands. Then he started laughing and couldn't stop.
Jaxon came back over
, and grinned at Joe with bloody teeth. “Glad you feel better, Joe.”
“Let’s finish up this dungeon.” Joe healed Jaxon once just to be sure he didn’t have any hidden injuries, and they resumed dodging and weaving. Their goal was in sight.
Chapter Thirteen
“I can't help but feel that we missed something,” Joe muttered as they walked away from the dungeon. “Something was nagging at me there at the end…”
“So, go back tomorrow and look,” Poppy grumped at him. “Don’t just keep repeating yourself. Did you get the five points of dex or not?”
Joe blinked and looked at the rewards. “Yeah. Oh! I also got a point for characteristic training! Holy… nine hundred and ten experience, too!”
As the notification faded, Joe was lifted into the air and an explosion of golden light raced away from him. He landed, took a deep breath, and whooped, “Level sixteen!”
“Congrats!” Bard cheered for him.
“What?” Alexis gasped with unrepentant jealousy. “There is no way that you were training dexterity for a full, uninterrupted hour!”
Shrugging helplessly, Joe simply declined to answer. “If I can do this tomorrow, I’ll clear the threshold for dexterity!”
“Atta boy!” Bard whacked him on the arm. “Good things happen with tha’. Ya get all sorts of, ah… flexible.”
Alexis blushed, popped open a bottle, and tossed it at the Skald. “What did I tell you about embarrassing me in front of the group! Enjoy emptying yourself!”
Bard’s stomach groaned loudly enough that Joe took a hasty step away. “Joe! No! Cleanse me, quick!”
“Bard! I don't have that spell anymore!” Joe looked on with horrified eyes as Bard sprinted toward the tree line. The remaining party gaped at Alexis, who simply raised a brow at them.
“Let that be a warning to the rest of you!” Alexis threatened darkly. “If I’ll do that to my boyfriend, think about what you would get.”