by Melissa Haag
It didn’t take her long to wake the rest of the way. She yawned and stretched loudly. When her hand accidently landed on my face, she froze. Complete shock registered on her features, and I grinned. Shock was a cute look on her.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded as she sat up.
“You were having a bad dream. I came in to wake you, but you quieted. So I decided to use my time wisely and sleep, too.”
She narrowed her gaze, not believing my tale. I quickly gestured to the line of pillows separating us.
“I kept it proper. See?”
She took a large breath, obviously winding up for a long scolding.
“I don’t care if you put a—”
“I’m starving. Let’s eat.”
I rose from the bed, grabbed my jacket with her hidden shoes, and moved toward the door.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do. I won’t let my guard down. A few moments of kindness will not make me fall into your arms.”
She was right. Kindness hadn’t made her fall into my arms. Sleep had. And, it would very likely do so again because she still had dark circles under her eyes. She needed more sleep…and food. But was unlikely to cooperate with either in her current mood.
I stopped at the door and turned to look at her to tell her what she wanted to hear.
“I don’t want you in my arms.”
“Liar.” She swung her legs off the bed and stood. Marching to her bag, she yanked it off the chair.
“I don’t understand why you’re so angry.” If she said she was hungry, though, I would completely understand.
She whirled on me, fury in her gaze.
“What’s to understand? I’m not safe. I’ll never be safe again. I’m so tired, I have no idea how to help myself, and I don’t know if I can trust you.”
Any trace of humor a decent night’s sleep had left me vanished. Whatever she had seen or learned of us had frightened her, and that angered me. I so badly wanted to help chase away her fears and see her smile.
I took a step toward her, lifting my hand to pull her to me, but she flinched. It hurt, but mostly the hurt was for her. Letting my hand fall back to my side, I sighed.
“We can stay here longer so you can rest,” I said.
She dropped the bag and threw her hands up in the air in frustration.
“It won’t do any good. I’m reliving all our past lives, mine and my sisters. I’ve been cut, beaten, starved, raped, drowned, and even blinded,” she said, stressing each horrific description of torture with an angry clip.
I didn’t quite understand what she meant—she obviously wasn’t blind—but the idea that someone wanted to do any of those things to her had my limbs shaking with the need to shift and protect her.
“Every time I close my eyes,” she said continuing, “I see more, and there’s no rest when that’s what I see. When I wake, I’m just as tired as I was when I went to sleep. And I don’t just see the past, I feel it. Every injury. Every forced intimate moment. If I let myself dwell on it, I won’t ever feel whole again.” She made a pained sound. “I’m not really sure I do now. If I’ve ever had a happy past life, I don’t remember it. Instead, I remember the pain, and death. Always death...”
Her voice hitched and tears started falling freely. She continued to hold my gaze.
“I don’t want to die,” she whispered, breaking me with her unspoken plea for help. “But if you’re here to try to get me to choose you, you can’t have me. Even if it means I have to die again.”
I growled, feeling angry yet completely helpless to do anything about my anger. She thought she was dreaming past lives where werewolves did unspeakable things to her. I didn’t want to call her a liar—I knew better than to try to tell a woman her beliefs were wrong—yet I had a hard time believing someone could possibly live more than one life.
If it were true…if all those horrible things had been done to her, she was holding me responsible for the actions of the werewolf ghosts haunting her. It was easier to blame the living than the dead. Where did that leave us? She was still exhausted and didn’t trust me to hold her interests above my own as a good Mate should.
Needing to escape her accusing stare, I turned and yanked open the door. Wood splintered and the metal warped under my hand. With too much force, I slammed the door closed behind me and strode to the bike.
Her dreams were tormenting her, and she was blaming me. It was an impossible scenario in which I couldn’t prove myself. How could I possibly protect her from the past? The past was done; there was no protection from it. A frustrated growl escaped me. I just wanted her to feel safe with me.
Putting on my jacket, I zipped her shoes inside then mounted the bike.
If she needed to sleep, I’d hold her for as long as she needed so she slept well. That would take care of the dreams. Right now, though, she needed to eat. So did I. I started the engine and glanced at her door.
I’d been caring for her since the moment I found her. Hopefully, she’d soon see that.
Six
Twisting the throttle, I tore out of the parking lot and sped to the fast food restaurant where I ordered some breakfast food and coffee. I didn’t care for the stuff, but given Bethi’s obsession with caffeine, I figured she would like it.
Once I had a bag of food, I wolfed down my sandwich then hurried back to the motel, scenting the road along the way. I didn’t think she’d run. It was cold out, and I had her shoes and the jacket. But, I wasn’t completely sure until I opened the room’s door and found her inside…asleep.
She’d passed out sideways on the bed again, apparently in the process of putting on layers of socks. I shook my head and entered the bathroom. From experience, I knew waking her wouldn’t be easy. I wet my hand in the sink then went to the bed.
“Bethi,” I called first, just to be sure. Then, I lightly flicked water at her face.
Her eyes immediately opened. The disoriented way she glanced around before settling on me worried me.
“You already slept ten hours. How can you still be this tired?”
“I’m not,” she said, sitting up quickly. “The dreams take me over sometimes, no matter how rested I am.”
I held out the cup of coffee. She didn’t move to take it but continued to gaze at me.
“I thought you left to get the rest of your men.”
I sighed and sat beside her on the bed.
“What men?” I asked.
She looked down at her hands, and I heard her pulse pick up. Studying her slumped shoulders and twisting fingers, I waited.
“Never mind,” she said.
“Bethi, I really am here to help you. No strings. I just don’t know how.”
She looked at me with a frown.
“You are helping me,” she said. “If not for you, I’d be walking.”
That wasn’t what I’d meant, but I didn’t clarify. Instead, I handed her the cup.
“I thought coffee might help.”
This time she accepted it and took a large swallow. When she flinched, I knew it had been too hot. Next time I’d add ice.
“I brought you something to eat, too,” I said, opening the bag and pulling out a plastic carton.
She stared at it as if I’d poisoned the food, but she couldn’t hide the subtle change in her scent. I knew she was interested in eating it. I continued to hold out the container and grinned when she reached for it.
She popped the lid open and sighed as she stared at the stacked breakfast sandwich inside. Her stomach growled, and mine echoed it. The one I’d eaten hadn’t been enough to make up for all the lost meals. After she set her coffee between her knees and the container in her lap, she grabbed her food with two hands. The way she bit into it like a starved pup had me smiling slightly. I let the satisfaction of feeding her roll over me. I needed to make sure I kept her fed from now on.
When she threw the carton in the garbage, I stood and picked up her bag as I reached inside my jacket and
pulled out her shoes.
“Gee, thanks,” she said, taking back her footwear.
I grinned at her and handed her the jacket as well. Inhaling subtly to gauge her mood, I realized something. Despite her declaration of mistrust and often surly temperament, she wasn’t afraid of me anymore. The scent no longer clung to her like a wet blanket. Her cinnamon and vanilla flavor often shifted with many other emotions, though. Frustration, annoyance, and anger were still ever present.
While Bethi peeled off her extra socks, I shouldered her bag and left the room to head to the office.
The clerk looked up as I entered and accepted the key I handed over.
“The door stuck a little this morning,” I said. “When I pulled harder, some of the trim gave way. Not sure if you want to check the door for damages before we leave.”
He waved away the offer. “Nah. They do stick sometimes. I’ll have the maintenance guy look at it when he comes in later today.”
I nodded my thanks and turned to leave. I’d found it was easier to avoid charges when admitting to breaking something obvious than it was to try to pretend it didn’t happen.
Outside, Bethi stood behind the bike. The jacket hung low on her hips and made her look even more childlike. She had her hands buried deep in the pockets and bounced a little in place to stay warm. We needed to find her more clothes.
She moved aside as I got on the bike then quickly mounted behind me. I motioned to the bag already draped across my body. She sighed heavily but lifted the bag over her head. She’d already proved ten hours of sleep wasn’t enough to keep her awake. I wasn’t about to let her fall off the bike.
Once she had the strap around her, I tightened it. She pressed to me and, just like yesterday, laid her cheek on my back. The cool feel of her skin worried me. She grew too cold too fast.
I pulled away from the motel, heading northwest toward the Compound. Behind me, Bethi lifted her head and moved around a bit. Nothing dangerous, but unusual. I glanced in the side mirror and saw her eyes closed as the wind beat her face. She was also biting her lip.
“What are you doing?” I asked, turning my head so she would hear me.
“Trying to stay awake.”
Hurting herself to avoid sleep seemed a bit drastic to me, but I kept that opinion to myself and focused on driving. She continued to wiggle behind me as the miles flew past. I tried not to notice. I tried to separate myself from the moment by thinking of all the things I needed to do to prepare for a life with a Mate. A job. Money. A home. She was young so I had plenty of time. But I wanted to stay close to her. That thought just brought me back to the closeness we shared at the present and how her chest felt pressed against my back. I shifted in my seat, trying to ease some of the pain that had started.
When she finally stopped wiggling and slumped against me, I knew she’d given into sleep. Exhaling, I tried to relax. If she was next to me, hopefully she would sleep easy.
Her hand fell loosely between my legs. I flinched. The bike swerved, and I swore.
The chill of her fingers penetrated my pants. How could it feel so good and so terrible at the same time?
I signaled and pulled over to the shoulder. Standing slightly, I dislodged her hand and dug the phone out of my pocket.
We would never make it to the Compound like this.
My hand shook as I dialed a number I’d memorized and waited for the call to ring through.
“Hello, Luke,” Joshua said. “How can I help you today?”
“I’m in a bit of a bind and need a car.”
“A car?”
“Yeah. I’m in…” I looked around, trying to remember the state. “I think I’m in Iowa. I found a girl like Gabby, and she’s not doing well on the motorcycle I borrowed from the Compound.”
“A girl like Gabby? Of course I’ll help,” he said.
And that was what I liked about Joshua. He didn’t ask pointless questions like how I’d managed to find Bethi or why I didn’t immediately report her to the Elders. His discretion meant that I didn’t need to snitch on Gabby or reveal my way around some of the commands the Elders had given.
By the time I ended the call, he’d arranged to have someone who also wouldn’t ask questions to meet us in the next town.
I put my phone away and loosened the strap holding Bethi to my back, then pulled her onto my lap. The wind had tangled her hair and chapped her cheeks. I pressed my cheek to hers, worried that she was cold. Warmth met my skin, and I pulled back to place a kiss on her forehead.
“Hang in there, luv,” I said, leaning back and tapping her face.
It took a few tries before her eyes fluttered open.
“We need help. A car. This isn’t working,” I said.
“No, this is fine,” she slurred. She looked around and tugged at the strap that was still binding us together. Her moves were absent and tired.
“Can you make it twenty minutes without falling back to sleep?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said, meeting my gaze. “It seems worse with you.”
“Worse? When I’m near you, you don’t cry out. I thought your dreams calmed when I—”
She probably wouldn’t like to hear that I held her while she slept. And I couldn’t afford to think of what had happened the last two times she’d fallen asleep on the bike.
She seemed to think things over for a minute. I thought she was about to agree when her scent changed. Determination clouded the air.
“I changed my mind,” she said. “I will Claim you.”
Need slammed into me. Agreement bubbled up inside.
“No,” I said, rather loudly, before I could stop myself. Claiming me now would be a very bad idea. I doubted I would recall her age at the feel of her teeth sinking into my skin. I glanced at her full lips and wanted to groan. I could imagine how it would feel to have her at my neck.
Her pulse picked up to match the rapid beat of mine. I would have liked to think it was because the idea of Claiming me excited her, but I knew better. In all the emotions I’d scented from her, desire wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t ready for that. She was too young.
Unable to help myself, I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, giving into my need to touch her. She turned her head, nuzzling my hand. Her trusting exhale had my fingers shaking as I gently smoothed her hair back from her cheek. It would be so easy to cradle the back of her head and lift her closer. To my mouth or my neck? I couldn’t decide.
The feel of her fingers on my arm interrupted the direction of my thoughts, and I realized the dangerous lure of our current position. Quickly boosting her off my lap, I set her on her feet beside the bike.
The strap didn’t give us much room, and her face was entirely too close to my neck. My breathing hitched when her exhale tickled my skin. I was already bringing my hand up to protect my sensitive skin when I heard her pulse jump. Her scent sharpened as she darted forward. Using speed, I brought my hand to her face, blocking her attempt to Claim me. I hated myself.
She pulled back angrily.
“What’s your problem? I know you feel the pull. This is what’s supposed to happen.”
I slipped the strap over my head, freeing us as she continued to glare at me.
“No, it is not. Why did you change your mind?” Claiming wasn’t something to be taken lightly.
“I’m tired of dying. It hurts. What don’t you understand? Every time I close my damn eyes, I feel every anguished moment of one of our past lives. Claiming you will make the dreams better.”
She shuffled closer, and for a moment I thought she’d raise her hands to my face. But she saved us both from where that would lead and kept her arms loosely at her side.
“Please, Luke,” she said softly.
I would do anything for her. Anything but take more advantage than I already had.
Glancing at the trees, I struggled to find a way to put her off. Not forever. Just a little longer.
“I promised I only wanted to help you. And I will.
The dreams are better when I sleep near you. We will keep doing that,” I said without meeting her gaze. “Climb on.”
She pouted at me for a few moments until an almost-smile lifted her features.
“Okay,” she said. “Let’s keep going.”
She climbed onto the back of the bike, and her pulse jumped as her scent intensified again. With speed, I gently caught her face in the palm of my hand again.
“Stop that,” I said, gruffly.
My rejection didn’t seem to bother her. She leaned back and slipped the strap over her head.
“Tighten it up,” she said, sounding triumphant. Without the strap, she would fall. Yet, we both knew where the tight strap would put her. Far too close.
My hand shook as I cinched the strap. She didn’t make her move right away. She waited until my feet were off the ground, and I was pulling away from the shoulder. But, thanks to her pulse and scent, I knew a moment before she moved to try to bite me and blocked her while still keeping the bike on the road.
Undeterred by her failed attempt, she repeatedly tried for success. The base of my neck tingled with anticipation. I wanted her teeth there very badly. However, her reasons for wanting to Claim me were all wrong. Had she been several years older, I wouldn’t have cared if her reasons were wrong or not. She wasn’t older, though, and I couldn’t bring myself to use her fear to obtain what I wanted.
When she finally gave up, she leaned her forehead against my back. She was cold again.
“I’m going under,” she said, relaxing.
“Try to hold on. I called for help. There should be a car ahead,” I said over my shoulder. I twisted the throttle to speed up.
Even with the wind from the ride, I could smell her spike in fear as she wrenched her head from my back.
“What do you mean you called for help?”
A wolf flew out of the woods before the last word left her mouth. Big, black, and furry, the chap just missed our back tire. Bethi wrapped her arms around me tightly, trembling as it scrambled to gain on us.
“Ease up,” I said, knowing it would hear. “You’re scaring her.”
When I watched him try to bite the back tire, I realized this wasn’t the wolf Joshua had sent to meet us.