The girls had all been excited by the splendor of the gown, asking their mother why she hadn't worn it at her wedding. She finally explained that their father and she had eloped. “The Rombergs did not care much for his choice at the time, which later on, after you children were born, changed of course!”
“And Grandmother? It looks as if it has never been worn!”
“She had eloped also!”
“So our great-grandmother is the only one who had a formal wedding? What was she like?” they urged their mother, anxious to find out more about their ancestors.
Mrs. Romberg’s happy face changed almost instantly to a sad one. “Perhaps we'll talk about it at a later date.”
As Louise donned the gown, Anne mentioned that she hoped to be the next wearer. “Find yourself a suitable husband first, and we'll talk about it,” Mrs. Romberg advised.
“Yes Mama,” Anne sighed, thinking of George.
A sumptuous dinner of roasted veal and other delightful delicacies, prepared under Mrs. Romberg's supervision, earned the priest's applause, who as the great connoisseur, appreciated it the most and proclaimed that cooking is the only art worth making an effort for, which brought about great laughter from the others. He really showed his art-appreciation in a most generous way by filling his already well-rounded belly to the hilt. Otto, still moved by the tender and sweet ceremony, lifted his glass and offered the traditional toast to the new pair, welcoming Louise into the family and calling this wedding the fourth happiest event in his life, preceded only by his own marriage to Stephany and the birth of his children. Romberg's toast followed, with Mrs. Romberg shedding a few tears at the prospect of losing one of her daughters.
“May we bachelors be as fortunate to find such perfectly suited mates!” Max exclaimed, lifting his glass.
“But there are only two of you, and we are three,” Christina protested, amused.
“Take all the time you can, children,” Otto advised, forgetting that his Stephany was barely eighteen when he took her to the altar.
1844
7
As there are always good and bad times in all families, the Reinhardts were no exception. The good word was that Karl and Louise were still as much in love as on their wedding day. They had become parents of a baby boy on their first wedding anniversary, naming him Alex, and he had become the center of their happy home life. Both sets of grandparents regularly visited the young Reinhardts, as they were commonly known. Louise, not having the tiniest inclination to be anything more than the best wife and mother, completely ignored Vienna's social scene, indulging only in family and a select group of friends, which made Karl very happy. Neither one of them ever grew tired of showing off their dream house, especially after the acquiring of an antique or the slightest change in decorating.
Anne had married George von Auersbach, surprisingly with the blessing of his parents. George and Anne had moved into a spacious apartment, seeing his parents only on special occasions, generally preferring to visit with the Rombergs or Reinhardts. Anne was now expecting her first child, an event both she and her husband were looking forward to with great joy.
To his mother's great delight, Rudolf Altmann, Anne's former fiancée had found him a real baroness and became engaged for the third time.
Therese had married Bruno Kraus a year before, each occupying a separate floor of their home, since Bruno insisted on his own music room. Although it was apparent that Reinhardt's name and their connections brought him the best parts in the finest theaters, the Krauses had never changed their mind about their only son's profession.
“One of these days, his voice will be gone and then what?” his mother worried.
“Vienna loves theater so much more than it does silk merchants and pharmacists,” Mrs. Romberg had said to them at their son's wedding. It had not pleased the Krauses, and their relationship with the Rombergs had become somewhat strained. This did not displease the Rombergs too much, though, since they had a growing friendship with the Reinhardts. Otto enjoyed frequent chess games with the pharmacist, who still pulled teeth on Saturday nights and mixed his potions with the utmost of pride, also recommending herbal teas for anything from mental illness to infections of the throat. They did finally get a new roof for their house and a pair of new horses with a comfortable coach at the insistence of Stephany, whose favorite expression was, “What else are relatives for?”
Life had indeed become very tolerable, despite the fact that the Rombergs were now also experiencing the “empty nest effect”. Max and Moritz had each taken advantage of offers to work in different cities, and their parents had, as usual, not questioned their unexpected decisions, no matter how much they regretted not seeing them more often.
Christina, though, was still unattached and still hopelessly in love with her museum's curator, who had a loving wife and seven children with the eighth on the way, and was completely oblivious to Christina's innermost feelings for him.
To the joy of all, Louise had become pregnant again, but had slipped and taken a bad fall. The best doctors Austria had to offer had been called in for consultation and could only order absolute bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. Karl would sit at her bed daily, massaging and exercising her legs, which the physicians had urgently recommended, both families praying and burning candles for a good outcome.
Their wait finally came to an end, and Louise was in labor for more than twenty hours, two doctors and two midwifes attending her. Otto and Stephany took turns holding her hands, leaving every now and then to go to a different room to escape the painful outcries. Karl, in complete despair, assured Christina that this would be their last child, as already Alex's birth had given his wife a lot of problems.
“But she wanted a large family to fill your house with joy and laughter!” his sister cried, to ease his painful feelings of guilt.
After what seemed like an eternity to all, there was a sudden stillness in the house. Everyone felt a sense of relief and assurance that the baby had finally been delivered. The Reinhardts rushed to the door, only to hear another eerie cry, followed by complete silence.
Karl ran into the room to embrace his wife, but was greeted by the sorrowful faces of the doctors and midwives, who were attending to the loudly crying baby. He suddenly noticed their blood-sullied hands and suits and one of the doctors’ bowed head, making the sign of the cross over Louise and mumbling a few words in Latin. A massive wave of confusion flooded in, the rest of the families rushing into the room, watching in horror as Karl stooped over his wife's body, desperately crying, “Louise, please wake up! Please don't leave me!” Shaking, kissing, and embracing her at the same time, his face suddenly became ashen and took on a disbelieving, distorted expression.
Louise's parents were still standing halfway inside the room, not daring to enter any further, staring at their lifeless daughter's face and mumbling that they would see her again in heaven. Reinhardt's teary-eyed coachman finally offered them a ride home, and the pharmacist followed him dejectedly, steadying his poor wife, whose heart was broken beyond repair. Otto and Stephany were leaning against the wall in a visible state of shock, staring at their son, who could not be persuaded to leave his wife's side, as he pounded his fist feebly on the night table. “How could this happen?” he finally shouted at the doctors, who tried in vain to comfort him and could only offer a grim platitude. “It's God's will, sir!”
“Then this God of yours must be a sadist!” Still trembling, he shouted at the top of his lungs, suddenly toppling over and sliding, grief-stricken, to the floor.
The Reinhardts were now staggering into the room with the help of some servants, who led them over to their beloved daughter-in-law. Without uttering a sound, they kissed her, and Stephany finally realized that there was a child to find and take care off.
“Oh my God, Otto, the baby!” she cried in despair. “We must see the child!” She struggled past his arm to reach the nursery, where they received their second shock.
With its hea
d tilted sideways and both arms and legs in the process of being bandaged, they saw and knew at once that the child was deformed. There was of course the instant thought, “Why not the child? Why Louise?” But neither one uttered the bitterness of their disappointment when one of the doctors put his arm around both of the Reinhardts and said, “It's a girl!”
They smiled faintly, reading his thoughts as well, though he told them, “It’s not nearly as bad as it looks at the moment!” Noticing their sigh of relief, he continued. “When your...late daughter-in-law had her bad fall, the baby must have been placed in an awkward and uncomfortable position. There was absolutely nothing anyone could have done about it.”
“We understand,” Otto conceded, Stephany and Christina weeping and comforting each other.
“Mama! I lost my best, my sweetest... my very dearest friend!”
“I know, child! She meant everything to us as well, but right now we must think of poor Karl, Alex, and the new baby.”
“But I've known her so much longer then all of you... and loved her so much more!”
Stephany thought to answer her, but felt it was best to keep silent. Christina wiped her tears and asked weakly, “Is Karl still with Louise?”
“No. It all got to him suddenly and he finally gave out and fainted! One of the doctors is with him,” Stephany replied quietly.
“Thank God! I mean, of course, that it is better for him, not to have to think right now. Maybe the baby will look better tomorrow... the face less bruised, I hope,” she lamented in tears again, feeling just as sorry for her brother as for herself.
“The sooner we get ourselves together, the better for all of us,” Stephany said firmly. Otto and the staff looked at her in surprise, but at a loss for a better solution.
“Alex! Poor little Alex! What are we going to tell him about his mother?”
“That his mother is with our Lord, because he was in need of another angel,” the physician replied.
“You'll do well wearing a metal shield, suggesting that to my son!” Otto advised him, irritated.
“At a time like this, dear grief-stricken family... it's the only answer anyone could think of! We in the profession of medicine are only human beings, doing our best, sometimes under the most inhumane conditions. And still, sometimes, the Lord is not ready to take back this or that life... so we must learn to accept that life and death are in the hands of God alone as long as this world is turning. Nothing will ever change for me to believe otherwise, not even the need of a metal shield!”
“I am sorry for my harsh remark,” Otto apologized sincerely.
“So am I, Mr. Reinhardt. It's been a very long and hard day, and now with such a sad ending... we all are very sorry!”
In her misery, Christina stayed with Louise for a long time, to bid her goodbye and to tell her how sorry she was for introducing her to Karl, as maybe—just maybe—she would still be alive today. She stroked her face, giving her the solemn promise that she would take care of her little unfortunate daughter the best she could with the help of the very best doctors available.
“Miss Reinhardt,” a voice called to ask if they could now take Louise away.
“Good Lord, have mercy!” she sobbed again, walking alongside the stretcher. “Now you are going to take all my secrets to your grave!” she whispered to Louise.
“Mr. Reinhardt requested the body to be brought to Lindenfels,” the undertaker said quietly, closing the heavy door of the young Reinhardt's dream house, forever devoid of its loveliest and sweetest mistress.
It was almost daylight when Karl finally opened his eyes, not really knowing where he was, noticing a servant dozing next to his bed.
“Your father ordered it, sir.”
“I know,” Karl replied, now wide awake. “To watch me?”
“That too, but also to awaken him right away. Your father and mother are staying in the guest room.”
“Please, Egon! First get me some strong coffee, so I can start to think,” he said, still not quite clear, his head hurting from the fall.
“As you wish, sir.”
Karl tried to lift himself up, but his head was spinning. He was also trying to think, and suddenly remembered with a pang what had happened. His mind was racing. “Why... Louise... why?” he sobbed. He had to get away. He could not possibly stay here. Not in this house, not now. This, at least, he knew for certain. The memories—
Right now, he could only think of getting away. Pack up and travel and not look back for the time being. With the love of both sets of grandparents, Alex would be all right without him for a while. And there was Christina. She would understand and help.
All these thoughts went through Karl's mind, never even giving a thought to his new baby. The mind is a strange thing. In times of great stress, it can completely shut out what is unwanted. This was the case with Karl, and was a good thing, otherwise he would not have been able to deal with his grief, the memories and loss of his wife, blaming himself. Before this, life had been good for him! He had had a secure and stable upbringing with all the affection anyone could ask of his parents. His high-strung, but very lovable sister had always added to his pleasurable life, and lastly a marriage that few could only dream about. All questions or demands in his life had always been answered with 'yes' in every respect. And now that life itself had chosen to say 'no sir' to all his hopes and dreams, he would have to learn to take it, even if it was the hardest blow he would ever encounter.
“Your coffee, sir.”
“Thank you, Egon. Do you think you could perform a miracle?”
“I will certainly try!”
“Please wake my father without disturbing dear mother.”
“That won't be too hard this morning,” Egon assured him.
Karl tried to ignore his father's ghost-like appearance, knowing that no one else was in better condition.
“How are you, Karl?”
“Well, I must have slept,” Karl replied briefly, staring blankly at his father. “I've thought and thought now for a time and have come to the decision to leave here as soon as possible. I believe I'll visit some places I've never been to... for lack of time or whatever. Of course, I had never planned it this way, but right now, I cannot think of anything else... considering...” his voice trailed off.
“But of course, Karl! I think this is a good idea,” Otto answered consolingly. “Considering,” he added to himself. He was surprised, but he fully agreed with his son, himself having spent the whole night trying to figure out how to meet and deal with Karl's reaction to the whole misery of accepting his wife's death. He was especially apprehensive about the baby, and how Karl would accept this next blow, finding out that the baby was not well and not having even wanted a glimpse at it last night.
“I am relieved you don't see my plan as desertion, even though in my heart I know it is! I am running away, but not only from upcoming problems. Father, I know you can understand what I mean when I tell you that my soul has left me. I'm really not myself any longer!” he stammered, overcome with sorrow.
“Oh, my dear, dear son!” Otto said softly. “I wouldn't know what I would do in your place. I don't even want to think of it! But I believe you are making a very brave and sensible choice which I must admire you for!”
“I always thought of myself as being strong and invincible.”
“It's all in how one sees it. Indifference would scare me! Whichever way one reacts to a loss is up to the individual. And I do hope that life will treat you more kindly in the future.” Otto embraced his son.
“He was very anxious to leave, hurting so much and not wanting to say goodbye to anyone! I believe he did not even know what he was doing!” Otto would later excuse his son for his abrupt departure.
“Did he take at least a look at his baby?” Christina asked, perplexed. “Or talk to Alex?”
“No, never even mentioned the children. Just kept pacing and saying how he hoped we would not see it as a desertion!”
“Where and
how long?”
Otto shook his head. “I suppose he doesn't even know himself! Our poor Karl is convinced he has lost his soul with the death of Louise. I'm sure he believes his life has come to an end!”
“Maybe it is a good thing that something told him to leave,” Stephany sighed deeply.
“I guess,” Christina agreed with her mother, not quite as much convinced.
“What would you have done?” she asked, turning to her father.
“Probably pulled a trigger! Yes, I believe that would have been my reaction.”
“Papa!”
“Otto!”
“Why the surprise? Death can only be a relief. I admire Karl. The ones left behind are the ones who suffer! Maybe I wouldn't have been as strong as Karl, and I, therefore, hold him in the highest esteem and hope that both of you can feel that way also!” He said it defensively, expecting understanding for his son.
“Let's go see little Verena and Alex.” Christina got up, waiting for her parents to follow.
“Is that what we are going to call her?” Otto smiled faintly at his daughter.
“It was Louise's and my favorite name, Papa! Also Karl's and the Rombergs’!”
“I like it too,” Stephany mused. “I think it's beautiful!”
∼
“Otto, my dearest, what can I possibly write into my diary on a day like this?” Stephany was sitting at her desk again, her head braced in the palm of her hand, trying to find the right words to enter.
“Write ‘thank you, Lord’ and then close the book for today.”
“Thank you, Lord?” she asked, puzzled.
“Yes, for letting all of us be here for each other!” he answered with tears in his eyes.
Yesterday Was Long Ago: Part One Page 11