by Ms. Neicy
“Gisele, Jessa is nothing like she was when we first met. You know she used to go just as hard as me, but now, all she wants to do is sleep, spend my motherfucking money, and gossip with that old miserable bitty, Tasha.”
“Umph, you already know how I feel about that shit; birds of a feather flock together. You were blinded by love baby brother, and that’s cool, but I told you not to marry that trick. You were her come up, but your stupid ass acted like you couldn’t see that shit.” Gisele said.
“I don’t understand how the fuck could I be her come up if she had her own shit when we met. You know her mother and father have money.” I said, trying to make sense of it all.
“Do they Renzo? Come on now? Be smart. As soon as you said I do, she stopped doing everything she was doing before. She doesn’t even take care of Raven. Where is she right now?” she said. I looked down at the floor because she was right. When Jessa and I first got together, we complimented each other. Her fly matched my fly, her drive matched mines, and her bank account wasn’t too far off, so I felt like we could continue to build; that way, our children’s children wouldn’t have to want for anything. But a little over a year ago, when we said I do, things changed drastically. Jessa hadn’t lifted a finger around the house; she hadn’t done shit for Raven, and she hadn’t bothered to pay a bill or nothing since I changed her last name. There was a lot of people who felt like Jessa wasn’t the one for me, but my love for her ran deep, or at least I thought it did.
Like I said before, back in the day, Jessa took a charge for me. When I first got my CDL, I wasn’t doing the right things, and Jessa and Gucci were the only people aware of that shit. Sometimes, I would move large amounts of drugs from Houston to Louisiana. I got pulled over, and they searched the truck and found a few of the drugs. Jessa knew my father would be pissed for jeopardizing his name like that when I didn’t have to; I was just being greedy. The officer asked who the drugs belonged to, and before I could answer, Jessa said they were hers. We went back and forth before the cop handcuffed us both. Once he had us outside checking for more drugs, Jessa told me to go ahead and let her take the charge; that way, I could finish the run, but I just had to promise her that I wouldn’t do the shit no more. I was with it. They locked up her for a few days; I got her a damn good lawyer, and she got off with probation, and one thousand hours of community service. I appreciated her for doing that shit, but we never really talked about it after it happened. No one else knew about that incident besides her and Gucci, and I wanted to keep it that way. Jessa saved my ass, but that shit was years ago. I was twenty-seven now, and I wasn’t doing the same shit I was doing when I was nineteen and twenty.
“So where is Raven Renzo?” she said, distracting me from my thoughts.
“She’s with momma, man. Look, things wasn’t always like this.” I said, trying to stick up for Jess.
“Okay, and that’s cool, but over a year baby brother. How long do you expect to sacrifice your happiness for the happiness of others? Just think about it?” She said, leaving me there with my thoughts. I stayed in the office until well after six, and I was on my way to get Raven, when I decided to take a detour. I wanted to stop by this little bar and grill, because their happy hour was cool, but on the way there, Ms. Renee ran into my car. I was pissed until she got out of her car.
That woman was beautiful, but her face was stained with tears. I didn’t know the reason for her tears, but I wasn’t trying to stress her out anymore than she was already stressed, so I told her not to worry about swapping insurance information. I was actually trying to figure out a way to see her again, because she was truly like a breath of fresh air. Before I allowed her to drive off, I gave her my card and told her to call me tomorrow so we could get her car fixed. She smiled, and her smile alone melted my heart. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time, because the only time Jess smiled was when she was spending my money. No matter how thoughtful I was or how much I did, Jess was unappreciative as hell, and honestly, I was tired of it. After giving her my card, I decided to go get Raven and call it a night.
Making it to my mom’s, Marc was outside smoking a blunt. Marc was the baby at twenty-five, and if you ask me, he was way too spoiled. We were all two years apart, but I promise you Marc acted as if he was twenty with his immature ass. My mother stayed in a damn 750,000 dollar home and there were some million dollar homes in this subdivision; that fool was sitting in the car with the music blasting smoking a blunt. He knew how the neighbors were over here. They would call the damn home owner’s association so quick, and be fining my mother and father ridiculous amounts for this shit.
“Marc, why don’t you just go do that shit somewhere else?” I fussed as soon as I walked up to him.
“Hello to you too, big brother. I’m cool thanks for asking.” He said, sarcastically, blowing smoke my way. I could’ve punched his ass right there on the spot, but I decided to let his ass slide.
“Marc, you really need to do better man.”
“Oh, you want me to be like you, huh, Renzo? You want me with the career, the wife, and the kids, huh? The nice cars, big ass house, the whole nine, right? Well, guess what, nigga? I’m not you. Never have been, never will be. I don’t want your life nigga. I’m perfectly fine with the way shit comes in for me.” he yelled. I got in his face so that he knew I wasn’t playing with his ass.
“Nigga, you cool with your momma and daddy still paying your way? Ain’t nobody asking you to be like me lil’ nigga. You can never be me, but you need to do something. What the fuck you gonna do if something happens to momma and daddy. Your ass don’t have a pot to piss in or a fucking window to throw it out of. Like I said, you need to do better.”
“Oh yea, I’m gonna do better alright.” He said, with this sneaky ass smirk on his face. I started to say something else, but my mom grabbed my attention before I could.
“Renzo, is that you out there?” She yelled from the front door. I wasn’t trying to bring too much attention her way seeing as how Marc was already doing a great job at that, so I went inside to talk to my mother.
“How was baby girl today?” I asked, as I gave my mother a hug and a kiss. That little lady there was truly my everything.
“She just about wore my ass out.” She laughed. “That girl wanted to play dress up, she wanted to go outside and ride in her jeep, she wanted grammy to make her some cookies, she wanted to watch a movie, your daughter is a mess.” She said. I laughed, because she was right; Raven was definitely a handful.
“So where is she?” I asked, looking around thinking she would pop up out of nowhere. She always did that. If she heard you coming, she would go hide until you found her. My little baby was really my pride and joy.
“She’s out for the night. I tried to call you and tell you to just leave her here, but I kept getting your voicemail.” She said.
“Oh yeah, my phone went dead on the way home from work. And the reason I’m running behind to pick her up is because I was in a fender bender.”
“Oh my, are you ok baby?” She asked, getting up and checking me like I was a child. I laughed as she did that.
“I’m cool, Ma, nothing major. I’m going to take it to my boy Carlos in the morning to see what he can do.”
“Well, why isn’t the person who hit you covering it?” she asked liked a concerned mother.
“Because I told her not to.” I said, looking for a distraction, because I knew the questions were coming.
“Her! What? She must have been pretty? I know you.” She said. I guess she read my facial expression, because she said she wouldn’t go in right now, but she did want to talk about something more serious. I gave my mother my undivided attention as she began to address her concerns.
“So Raven was telling me her mother is mean and she curses a lot. She was saying how she doesn’t like to be there with her alone… something about she screams and stuff. I usually just let you figure it out, but if you need me to intervene, I will. I do not mind putting her in her place. You
already know I don’t mind checking someone, especially when they do the type of shit Jessa does. Excuse my language, but something about her is off.” My mom revealed to me. I was thinking the same thing, but I hadn’t said it. Jessa was going through something, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. I sighed before revealing this information to my mother. I hadn’t spoken about it, but it was time to tell someone.
“I don’t know what’s been up with Jessa momma. I swear, she isn’t the same woman I married. She doesn’t do shit around the house, she doesn’t want to work, she doesn’t even want to deal with Raven. Like, really? She’s her daughter… Why wouldn’t she want to deal with her own daughter? I’m just not used to this mess momma. She’s showing me a side of her that I really don’t like, and well, I have been thinking really hard about this.” I said, before letting my thoughts trail off. Like I said, I hadn’t spoken with anyone about this shit, not even my nigga, Gucci, and he knew everything about me. I loved Gucci to death; he was more like a brother than my best friend, but that nigga was doing his own thing at the moment, so I wasn’t really trying to bother him with my issues.
“What is it baby?”
“I think I want to go ahead a file for divorce. I really don’t think I want this marriage anymore. So much has changed, and like you said, Jessa isn’t the same person she used to be. I don’t like the way she speaks to Raven, and I don’t even like the way she talks to me. I mean, she is just too selfish. I think I’m done trying, Ma, but I don’t know how to break the news to her.” I said. I was so glad to finally have that shit off of my chest. My mother was very old school, so I really didn’t know how she was going to feel about me telling her I wanted out of my marriage, but I had been thinking about that shit for some time now. She still hadn’t responded so I sat there and waited.
“Let me know if you want me to put you in contact with this lawyer Cynthia Diggs. She’s the best divorce attorney in town I’ve heard. I’ve seen that little white lady in action, and well, she can be something lethal, so I believe she may be able to help you. You didn’t get a prenup, did you?”
“Nope, didn’t think I would need one.”
“Humph, well you already know she’s about to come after you for half of everything you have.” My mother said. I knew she would come after me with her money hungry ass, but at this point, I didn’t care. My sister was right; how long was I going to sacrifice my own happiness for those around me to be happy.
I had given Jessa more than enough time to get herself together, but she was so damn stuck in her ways she didn’t even understand. Me and my mother sat around and talked for another hour or two before I decided it was time for me to go home. She said that she wanted to keep Raven for the weekend which was cool with me, because it was time for me to get the ball rolling. I was going to have a talk with Jess tonight, and depending on her answer, I was taking my ass to that lawyer first thing Monday morning. I was more than sure Gisele could hold it down for me while I went in for a consultation. Her ass would probably be happy as hell knowing I was doing so anyway. Now, I needed to go home and have this talk, and I couldn’t lie, I was really dreading that shit.
Chapter 8
Jessa
I had a very eventful day, and I was tired as hell. After my spa day and shopping until I dropped with my girl, we decided to go out to eat. Tasha chose Willie G’s Steak and Seafood since it was literally around the corner from the Galleria mall, and that was cool with me. I could always go for some steak and shrimp. See, a bitch like me had very expensive taste, so steak and shrimp was really all I ate.
“So when are you going to tell Renzo the--”
“There is nothing to tell him Tasha, damn. I wish you quit bringing the shit up already. Renzo and I are good.” I said, taking a sip of my wine. I ordered the most expensive bottle on the menu. Who cares? It wasn’t like it was my money anyway.
“Yea, okay. That’s what your mouth say.” Tasha spat.
“You know what, you really need to get you some business.” I said, taking a bite from my food.
“If you would quit playing and give me Gucci number, I would have some damn business, but until then, I’m going to be all up in yours.” She said, sipping from her wine as well. Tasha had been trying to get with Gucci for the longest. Gucci was Renzo’s best friend. He owned two barbershops, one in fifth ward, one in spring, and he also had a clothing store. He had all the hottest gear in there, and I couldn’t even knock that nigga’s hustle if I wanted to.
Tasha had approached Gucci on more than one occasion, and each time, that nigga shot her ass down. The last I knew, Gucci had a little situation going on, but I don’t know how serious they were. To me, that nigga was a true asshole, and he only spoke to me and kept it pushing. I didn’t care for him too much, but he was my husband’s best friend, so I tolerated his black ass. Plus, he had been around longer than me.
“Girl, you are a grown ass women. I have no control over what happens with you and that man.”
“I want his ass in the worse way ever. Do you know that, fucking with that nigga, I would be set man. I would be just like you then.” She said. We both shared a laugh. We finished dinner, and it was only seven; I wasn’t really ready to go home.
“You want to stop by Swagger?” I asked Tasha. Swagger was this lil’ spot right off of Southwest Freeway and Weslayan. It wasn’t too big, but they played cool music and the drinks were always on point. Plus, it was Friday, so I was more than sure they had a nice little crowd around this time of day.
“Girl, you know I’m with it. It’s not like I got a man to go home to.” She said. With that, we made the ten-minute drive to Swagger, and just like I thought, the place was already packed. It was people standing around outside, but I couldn’t really see what the crowd was looking like on the inside. This wasn’t no place you had to dress up and have on heels and shit, so I felt perfectly fine going in there with my sweat suit on.
“Damn, this bitch packed already. We gotta park all the way around the damn corner seems like.” Tasha fussed.
“Well, bitch, do you want to go up in here or not? It’s not like a bitch can pay for valet.”
“I know. I’m not tripping about going in there. I’m just saying look how far down we are.” She complained. Just as I was driving to park around the corner, I saw a car pulling out. I hurried to reverse the car and grabbed their parking spot.
“Is this better for you princess?” I said, looking at her as I parked the car.
“Haha, real cute. Come on, let’s go get our drink on.” she said, opening the door. Before we could even walk into the building, niggas was trying to holla at us. It was crazy; I was a married woman, but I loved the attention I received from other men. Sometimes, I would tell them I was married, sometimes I wouldn’t. Hell, it depended on my mood, and today… well, it just wasn’t one of those days that I felt like sharing that information.
Renzo and I never really wore our rings; I guess the trust was there. I didn’t trip on him for never wearing his, and he didn’t trip the few times I did take mine off. It probably didn’t matter to him anyway, because I had his initials stamped on my ring finger. I was a happily married woman; I just didn’t always feel like talking about it. Sometimes, I liked to converse with another man who wasn’t my husband. Did that make me a cheater? I didn’t think so.
I wasn’t having sex with anyone else or nothing like that, although, I should’ve been, because my husband was not serving the dick lately. Something was going on with him, but I didn’t know what it was. Lately, he just didn’t seem like the same man that I married. Seemed like we didn’t even talk anymore, and as much shit as I talked, I was in love with my husband. He provided for me in a way that no one else had. I didn’t think there was another man in Houston that could do for me what my husband did for me, so there was no reason for me to even look elsewhere, but that didn’t stop men from trying.
“Can I buy you ladies a drink?”
“And who are you?” I
asked. I looked that nigga up and down, and I couldn’t lie, he was cute. He was tall, standing at about six-feet even, yellow-boned, with a taper fade and some deep ass waves, but again, I wasn’t really looking. My man was probably at home waiting for me.
“I’m Zeek; can I get y’all a drink or something?” he asked again with a smile. That nigga had the deepest dimples, but I was good. I wasn’t interested.
“Nah, we good.”
“Bitch, speak for yourself. I’ll have a shot of tequila and a Cîroc berry with cranberry.” Tasha said. I shook my head. We said one drink, and this bitch was ordering shots and shit. I would leave her ass right here with this nigga, no lie, because shots always had her ass acting crazy.
“You sure you don’t want anything lil’ momma.” Zeek asked again. I told him I was positive, and he walked over to the bar to grab Tasha’s drink.
“Bitch, you taking shots and shit? I promise, I’m not dealing with you and that shit tonight.” I said, as soon as Zeek was no longer in earshot way.
“You don’t have to, boo. I’m gonna tell that nigga to bring me home.” She said. I just shook my head. Although I did love my husband, I can’t lie. Sometimes, I was a little envious of Tasha. She lived life without a care in the world. She never had to answer to anyone or anything like that. She came and went as she pleased. She was her only responsibility, whereas I had to think about Renzo and Raven. I sighed, because I never really had a careful life. Renzo and I had been together so long I wasn’t really able to release everything I wanted to release, so yes, sometimes I was a little jealous that I wasn’t able to do everything that Tasha could do.