In spite it all, Alex’s darkness wouldn’t push me away. Nor would his anger. I understood it. Either way, I was in. I had the kind of devotion poets wrote about. The kind of love that triumphed even during the worst of times. Now, if only I could show him what forever meant. No matter how bad things became, it wouldn’t change my love.
I slipped into his room when I returned to the house. He was sleeping peacefully, thank God. I couldn’t resist the rush I always got when in close proximity to him. God, that face. That stubbled line of his jaw. His masculine lips. His hair, which was slightly grown out. I didn’t realize how much I’d needed him until I knew what life felt like without him. I tucked him in and quietly headed downstairs.
I checked my emails. I had hired a new manager, someone to make my daily manufacturer decisions. He had only sent two emails, and I handled the rest. I was relieved he only wanted designs from me which I could do from here—anywhere, actually.
A light tap on the door brought me out of work mode. I opened it, knowing it would be Theo and Eden.
“We didn’t want to wake Alex if he was sleeping.”
They stood before me, a glass casserole in hand.
“Come in, please. Yes, he’s asleep, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind some time spent with Theo.”
“How’s he doing?” Theo asked.
Eden made a beeline toward the kitchen to put the dish in the refrigerator.
I shifted my gaze up toward the upper level before answering.
“His pain is being managed.” I hesitated for a moment, but I couldn’t tiptoe around the truth. “The nightmares are growing stronger, and more violent. I’m giving him time to open up to me, but…”
There was a moment of understanding between us. Some part of Theo must have known what Alex was going through, because his face was pained with empathy.
“I’ll talk to him.”
Theo’s warmth and compassion, displayed so openly, only made me love him all the more. He headed for the stairs, and when I turned away, Eden was sitting on the couch, patting it, inviting me to join her.
“How’s playing nurse been so far?”
“Challenging.” Quite unexpectedly, tears filled my eyes. “It could have been so much worse.”
She nodded, understanding my meaning.
“I could have lost him, Eden. I regret so many things.”
“Madison, this is love, and when it’s the real deal, it comes with a price. It tests you at times, like now. Alex will heal in time, but he’s also trying to escape the ordeal that almost destroyed him.”
We heard muffled voices coming from upstairs, but then the words drifted off again.
“Oh, I brought you a baby monitor. It will be very useful if you’re down here. Let me shut it off.”
I reached for it, setting it closer on the coffee table, just as Eden’s hand stopped mine.
“Could be enlightening,” she said, a fun little smirk on her face.
“No, it’s wrong. Listening in on their conversation? No.”
It was tempting as hell, but still wrong.
“But you can’t deny that it may be useful.”
“I feel like I learn a little more about you with each passing day, Eden.”
We turned up the volume, just a bit.
***
“You awake?”
“I am now.”
“How’s the pain?”
“Manageable, but I can’t think about that right now.”
“And why is that? The nightmares?”
Silence.
“Yes, there’s that. The nights still hold me captive.”
“Alex, as you recover, more pieces of the puzzle will reveal themselves. Healing here at home will help. It should feel safe to you. Familiar.”
“I feel empty, though. My body is broken. My mind is tortured.”
“What about Madison? How does she fit into all this?”
“I love Madison, but I hate that she’s seeing me like this.”
“You mean, you hate that she sees you vulnerable?”
“That, and that I’m so weak and angry and fucked-up. The list is endless.”
“I get it, I do. So send her home then.”
“Ouch! My fucking ribs.”
“Then don’t get up so quickly, dumbass.”
“I love her, Theo. I don’t want her to leave.”
His voice was rising. Eden and I locked eyes.
“Ah. You’re going to be fine, you know.”
“Not by a fucking long shot, Theo. There’s only one way to get through this in my book. And my only interest is revenge.”
“Revenge may not get you the results you’re counting on, my friend. In fact, it may do more harm than good.”
Silence again.
“Is Steel involved?”
“You don’t even want to know, Theo.”
“It’s clear you’re at a crossroads, Alex. By all means, do what you have to do. We all want the best for you. I’m here, just a phone call away. And if you truly want Madison, I would strongly advise that you show it.”
“I’m with you.”
“Stay out of trouble, and I do mean that literally. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Get well soon.”
“Another Hallmark-card moment. Thanks, man.”
***
When we heard Theo’s footsteps descending the stairs, we both grabbed the monitor in a mindless panic to turn it off. Then we both giggled and dropped it. Our eyes met as we reached for it on the floor, our heads colliding. This just caused another round of laughs.
“The sound of female laughter warms my heart,” Theo said as he approached. “Did you invite Madison?”
Theo’s eyes darted to Eden in question.
“Oh, I forgot.”
“Hmmm. What have you two been doing down here all this time?”
We both ignored the question.
“My first art exhibit is this coming Saturday, and I would be honored if you came, Madison. Alex is invited, too, of course, if he’s up to it.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. How exciting!”
“It’s by invitation only, so I’ll email you the information.”
“This is a big deal for her. If this goes well, next up is Paris.”
Theo proudly rested his arm on her shoulder.
On their way out the door, Eden looked back at me.
“Lasagna, my mother’s recipe. I left heating instructions. Enjoy!”
“Thank you both.”
I couldn’t seem to concentrate, however, as I walked back into the room. The newfound information I had discovered while listening to Theo and Alex’s conversation left me more confused than before. I felt so helpless. I decided to let Alex sleep until dinner. I thought I’d set up a table for two in his bedroom. Maybe something as normal as dinner together would open him up.
As I rearranged a few pieces of furniture, I heard Alex stir.
“You hungry?”
“What’s all this?”
I looked over my shoulder to see him sitting up, curious.
I turned toward him, hopeful.
“A special surprise. We’re having dinner together, right here. Eden dropped off lasagna. How does that sound?”
“Good.”
I returned to set the candles out, along with the plates and glasses.
“There, all perfect.” I stepped back to admire my handiwork.
“I only need to fill our plates now.”
Standing at the foot of his bed, my heart was suddenly feeling heavy.
“Speaking of Eden, her first art exhibit is Saturday, and we’re invited. I want you to join me if you feel up to it.”
“Right. I did tell Theo I’d attend when he mentioned it.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“It’s a I’ll try.”
I wouldn’t nag, I wouldn’t be that girlfriend, but he was going, and I’d make sure of it.
“Let’s get you up.”
I rushed over an
d stood by, in case he became unsteady. I had already learned the hard way not to physically help him up. Once he was seated, I poured him a glass of water and lit the candles.
“Be back soon.”
The silence felt awkward at first, as we ate. He seemed preoccupied. His eyes, even though they were stormy and unsettled, didn’t take away from his good looks. I observed his thick five-o’clock shadow and his inviting mouth. I couldn’t look away as the candlelight cast a soft glow between us.
“You can tell me whatever it is, Alex.”
But the expression on his face told me otherwise. His fork dropped a bit harsher on his plate than I think he intended.
“Maybe it’s the pain, or the medication.”
What a cop-out. I let out a frustrated sigh. As I stacked one issue on top of another, my head began to list all his recent offences. Now I couldn’t touch him, help him, or talk to him.
“You can’t hide from me, Alex.”
“Is that what I’m doing?”
Our eyes met steadily, but his expression betrayed his true feelings. He was still unwilling to share those empty moments where he’d felt most alone, even though I was right here, right now, willing to listen.
“I will be on your side, no matter what happens.”
I still had trouble knowing he was actively seeking out a plan of revenge, and I didn’t share in his delusions that this was the answer to everything, but I wanted to open a door for him to walk through. I wanted to hear his ideas without judgment.
“I feel defeated.”
His voice cracked, and I studied him, watching him from across the small table. I searched his face for the one thing I needed, the one thing he had been keeping from me. His love.
“I’m here,” I offered, but the look on his face was forced. He was masking his emotions, and once again shutting me out.
“Don’t do this, Alex.”
His eyes searched mine, and my smile vanished, my eyes suddenly misty.
“You really know how to woo a girl, don’t you?”
I got up to clear the table. I gathered as much as I could carry, because I had no intension on revisiting him tonight. He was on his own now.
“Madison,” he began, but I didn’t turn around. I didn’t want to wait for the words that would never come.
***
Around three in the morning, I heard his voice. The nightmare had ruled his dreams again, twisting them into a horror show. I was there in seconds.
He was hyperventilating, trying to draw in enough air to breathe. I didn’t miss the darkness in his eyes as they shifted to mine. I watched him stare at me—or through me—as if he was being transported back to hell. He was being forced to endure the agony again and again, feeling like a prisoner in his own mind.
I wanted to say something, anything to pull him from the depths of his internal battle, but he was the one actually living through it, and he seemed unreachable to me.
Unprotected, my heart grew heavier watching the man I loved changing before my very eyes. He was being tormented by events that I had caused. Tears burst from my eyes, trailing down my face, fueled by the guilt I couldn’t seem to shake.
My hands trembled as I reached for him. Eventually he slowly calmed and drifted off again, leaving me shaken. It would be a long night, for both of us. I could feel it.
***
I woke to the smell of bacon, and my stomach growled in response. I threw on a robe and made my way to the kitchen.
The woman standing at the stove turned to me with a bright, warm smile.
“Hello honey, I’m Mrs. Davis.”
She had a sweet, Aunt Bee look. She was petite and round, with gray hair in an old-fashioned bun. She was a welcome distraction in my current mental state.
“I’m Madison, and it’s so nice to meet you. Whatever you’re cooking smells wonderful.”
I watched as she poured coffee and filled two plates. Then she set one in front of me and carried a tray up to Alex. There was a relief that came with her presence, making me smile a little. She could take on the grumpy bear for a change. I needed some time off.
The next few days passed easily, but the nights were filled with nightmares that haunted him deeply within his soul. I wanted to believe I could help somehow, but in reality, there was nothing I could do but wait it out.
Something essential had changed in him, though. That forty-eight hours of hell had turned the man I knew, the man I loved, into a stranger. Broken and angry, revenge was his only friend. Our conversations were just about superficial topics—how he felt, what I could do. I would be putting an end to his pain medications very soon. They were escalating his bad moods and worsening his sleep.
The distance between us was also growing as his demeanor continued to change, and it ripped at my heart.
Today, Ben and his mother were visiting. I hadn’t a clue how it would go. I’d given up on guessing how Alex would respond to anything normal.
It was later in the afternoon when the doorbell rang. I opened it to find a warm, smiling Ben as he embraced me.
“How ya doing?”
“Eh.”
He smirked.
“Come in.”
I held the door open as my hand swept the air, encouraging them to come in.
His mother was cool and distant when Ben introduced me to her. I took in her perfect, Jackie Kennedy style, with the white gloves and pearls. I just stood there speechless as Ben gave me a wink that spoke volumes.
Just go with it. Crazy woman on board.
The three of us approached Alex’s room. It was bright for a change, as if Mrs. Davis had thrown open the curtains, leaving Alex with no choice in the matter. He was on his iPad, frowning as Ben went in first.
“Get off your ass, brother.”
Alex’s growl was a warning. He wasn’t prepared to play, and then, to make matters worse, in stepped his mother.
“Jesus, Ben.”
The groan was almost comical as a huge smile crossed Ben’s face.
“Laying it on kinda thick, aren’t you?”
“Hello, Mother.”
She leaned and air-kissed her son’s cheek.
I realized that this was the first and only time she had seen him since his accident. It was very peculiar.
“Are you well?” she asked Alex, in a slightly confused manner.
I watched the looks pass between them. Ben was amused by the entire scene. Alex just looked like he wanted to deck his brother.
“I suppose,” Alex finally answered.
At that, she took a seat, holding her pocketbook on her lap. Her duty was completed.
“What’s with the mood?” Ben asked Alex. “I checked with the doctor, and he assured me that you were healing faster than expected.”
“Cut me some slack, little brother.”
I could hear Alex’s back teeth grinding. Ben was openly challenging his brother, and was getting away with it, too.
I should invite Ben to stay the week, I thought, and a smile escaped that no one noticed.
“Then, by God, snap out of it! You’re a lucky motherfucker, don’t you realize that?”
“Son.”
Instantly, all eyes turned toward their mother, who seemed offended by Ben’s swearing. Then everyone just carried on with the conversation without any acknowledgment to her disapproval.
“Just shoot me now.”
Alex let his head fall back on his pillow and closed his eyes.
“Not before your big surprise!”
Ben’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, and I suddenly saw a kink in his armor.
I could also tell that Alex couldn’t resist the game.
“Come on, get up!”
Ben waved for him to make his way over, but no one rushed to help Alex. He took his time about it, being careful with the boot on his foot.
“Ta-da!” Ben pointed out the window. “You said you wanted red, right?”
I moved to the window, resting my hands on Alex’s should
ers.
Then I saw it: a brand-new Audi R8.
“Well, brother, you certainly know how to romance a guy.”
“You’re hilarious.”
“Relax, I was only kidding. I love it. Thank you. And I appreciate the surprise. Once I get this boot off, I’ll give it a spin.”
Then they attempted a man-hug, but after a few groans from Alex, Ben quickly put a stop to that.
“Well, we’re off to the office. Along the way I’m going to drop Mother off to play bridge with her friends.”
Then he whispered in Alex’s direction, for his ears only.
“Don’t ask.”
Ben received such a genuine smile from Alex that it caused jealousy to surge throughout my entire body. It was pathetic of me, I admit.
“I’ll walk you out. I said. “Oh, and hand over the keys. Is it a stick?”
“Anything else would be a crime.”
“Great time for some real fun.” Glancing over my shoulder at Alex with his mouth hanging open.
***
Saturday arrived in all its splendor. Not a cloud in the sky, a slight breeze was cooling the temperatures down to the mid-eighties. I reached Alex’s room, and only partially went in.
“Tonight is Eden’s art exhibition. I had your black suit pressed, and we’ll be leaving for downtown around six, so be ready.”
Then I turned to leave.
“Madison, wait. I don’t know…”
“There will be none of that today,” I interrupted him.
And off I went. I had lots to do.
Later I stood before the full-length mirror. The sexy black lace that covered my unmentionables was a craft I discovered early on. It hugged my body firmly, dipping low in both the front and back. The built-in bra was a fabulous structure, too. I had my new manager send the sample dress to me, and it was more exquisite than I had anticipated.
I straightened my hair so that it was sleek and long, the blonde in it slightly lighter from the recent walks I had been taking along the path toward the mountains. I kept my makeup soft, with light eyes and a red pouty mouth.
The doctor was coming by soon to follow up and remove Alex’s boot, and I had saved that as a small surprise. He would look stunning in his black suit, with me on his arm. I had high hopes that this would pull him out of the depression he seemed to be wallowing in.
Surviving the Storm (Surviving Series Book 2) Page 13