A fact that frustrated me above all else was that something darker was replacing the old fears with new fears. Would I ever be able to outrun these memories?
“You can’t just waltz back into your old life as if nothing has happened. You said it yourself, you’ve had nightmares, blackouts, and people watching you. I believe these things need a voice. They need to be heard. Pushing your feelings away and burying your fears will only build and tear you apart. Trust me, Alex.”
“This insane weakness…”
I held the words back. No guy wanted to reveal any flaw that made him look like less of a man.
“Don’t think of it as a weakness, it’s only a symptom.”
“I just want to be whole again,” I said, my head held low as my emotions welled up. I cursed softly as I swiped the dampness away.
“I can help you get there, but you have to let me.”
I nodded, trying like hell to swallow the lump in my throat before it swallowed me.
“We need to do this again, Alex.”
“Did you forget I have a wedding to plan?”
“Plan? You mean attend.”
We shared a smile.
“Don’t forget we have to get our tuxes this week.”
“Any time. Just let me know.”
“And Theo, thank you.”
***
With each passing day, Madison’s daily routine blended more with mine. Seamlessly, we became one. A simple grain of hope blossomed into a well-nurtured bond, where trust and love were expressed freely—not only in words, but through our actions.
Her parents were due to arrive today. We’d worked hard the past several days to make the transition as comfortable as possible for them. The car was due to arrive here in an hour. I found Madison in the East Wing after searching her office and several other key places.
I approached the bedroom, the light spilling softly through the window, revealing itself through the sheer drapes. She was busying herself, replacing odds and ends and relocating the smallest of details.
“Are you nervous?”
She startled at my question and jumped.
“Well, that answers that.” I quickly moved closer, wrapping her in my arms. “It’s perfect. Look at how well it turned out.”
“I know.”
“What is it, Madison?”
I sat at the chair, facing the windows, and tugged her close to me to do the same.
“My hope is that I can convince them to move from New York to somewhere close to us. They’re getting older, and I still need that connection, long-term. My father will be tough, though. He won’t acquiesce to a major change easily. This is my way of introducing him to the beauty of this part of the country. My mother, on the other hand, is a pushover. Wherever I am, she’ll follow.”
“That’s a great plan. We could even sweeten the deal by locating some homes for sale, and when your father feels up to it, entice him to start looking at the ones you’ve already previewed.”
I heard a sigh as the thought sunk its way in to hear mind, and then a small smile appeared on her face.
“Let’s check on lunch, and then greet them downstairs when they arrive.”
Her heart was so big, and guilt rose in me as I tried to remember the last time I’d visited my mother and Ben. Where the hell had he been, anyway? I knew he was coming to the wedding, and bringing Jordon. A sense of curiosity struck me. We were definitely due for a long conversation.
Suddenly we heard the sound of car doors shutting, and together we opened the door as the driver unloaded their luggage.
Michelle dove into Madison’s arms.
“What a beautiful home, Alex.”
Her father was a bit slower, and I saw Michelle retreat to secure her husband’s climb. He appeared happy and smiling. This was a very good sign.
“Sweet Maddie, give your dad a hug.”
A tear escaped her eye when her gaze met her father’s. As I recalled, she had always been a daddy’s girl. She quickly obeyed, and I looked away when I witnessed his eyes pool. A man as stoic as James would not want to share his tender side publicly. Only with his daughter would he reveal those private feelings.
“James,” I said, after a moment, shaking his hand firmly. “Welcome. Please come in. Madison has so much to share with you.”
I hugged Michelle, then helped with the luggage and instructed the driver on what room to bring the bags.
“How is he?” Madison asked her mother as they walked by, arm in arm.
“So much better, dear, and I know this trip will play a huge role in his physical therapy and eagerness to thrive. We’re so appreciative of Alex’s offer.”
“We’re happy, too. I’ll help you both get settled in and unpacked, then we can give you the tour of the place and have a bite to eat. I know Mrs. Davis is cooking up something special.”
As we sat at the dining room table a while later, I was pleased to hear the positive reactions to my home. They appeared genuinely pleased and excited about their potential place here. I’d always wondered if one day this home would be filled with love and a real family. Now I believed that dream was truly possible.
“You’ve met Theo and Eden already.”
They both nodded, enjoying the garlic and herb pork tenderloin, red potatoes with fresh green beans, and yellow squash sautéed in avocado oil.
“They’ve also invited you to attend their wedding. Madison is Eden’s maid of honor, and I’m Alex’s best man, so we hope you’ll join us.”
They gaze at each other as if in silent discussion, and then it appeared as if a decision had been made.”
“We would love to,” Michelle said.
“Eden has outdone herself, and she’s becoming a very sought-after artist, too. Her creativity will shine through on her special day.”
Madison cleared her throat, preparing to inform them that she would be leaving. I knew she wasn’t too eager to be leaving them so soon.
“I hate to go, but I have a small trip planned back to Sacramento. I’m finalizing the move and packing a few things. Since the apartment came furnished, it will require little to do. The manufacturer and my company will remain there, but I can efficiently work from here. I’ll only be gone a couple of days at most.”
“So, this is a permanent move you’re making—to be here with Alex?”
James speared me with a hard look.
“Yes,” I chimed in, not willing to let Madison take the heat. “It wasn’t easy to convince her—trust me.” I took a sip of wine. “Of course, we had planned for her to be here the entire time of your stay, but I wanted something more long-term.”
I reached for my napkin, wiping my mouth, stalling, only to gather my thoughts.
“I love your daughter, James—and Michelle.” I moved my gaze from one to the other. “I just couldn’t see my life without her here with me. I want a future with her. I see what you two have, and I’d like that for myself. A lifetime of memories.”
“I’m happy for you both.” Michelle reached for Madison’s hand over the table.
I wait for the colonel to speak.
“As long as my daughter is happy, I support and trust her decisions.”
I didn’t anticipate this conversation, but I was pleased it was brought up. It needed to be said, and I needed them to know my intensions were honorable, and that I was a man they could trust—especially following the Graham disaster.
What no one knew was that I wanted her more each day. One day I would ask for her hand in marriage. I was certain I would know when the time was right, and then and only then would I ask James officially to marry his daughter.
Chapter Seventeen
Madison
Our first real argument was over something so silly.
Where did he get off, drawing a line in the sand? Alex would have to learn that I had a mind of my own, and that I was capable of asking for help when I needed it.
I heard my flight being called over the loud speaker and got in line to
board.
“Take the private jet,” he’d said—no, he ordered me to take it.
I accepted the luxury home and his cars, but this? Seriously, it was three hundred dollars round-trip, compared to what? I couldn’t even begin to guess.
I had also overheard part of his conversation with Steel. What was next—bodyguards breathing down my neck? Perhaps next time he’d forego the argument and choose his battles a little more wisely.
The flight went by quickly, mostly because of my reaction to white noise. When it was present, I could easily drift into a deep sleep. I had my new manager Leonard, or Leo he insisted, pick me up so we could work at the manufacturers. I was planning for a long day.
“Miss Perry,” I heard as I stood at the luggage carousel. I turned, recognizing Leo’s voice.
“I won’t be long, Leo. How are you?”
I had only brought one bag because I still had personal belongings at the apartment. I just needed the necessities.
“Very good, ma’am, and you? How was your flight?”
“I slept right through it.” I offered him a smile. “Oh, here we go.”
Grabbing the small piece of luggage, then pulling it behind me, I paused to shake hands. Leo had been a crucial addition to my small team of employees, allowing me complete freedom from the day-to-day duties. He didn’t know it yet, but his hard work would be rewarded with a raise while I was on this trip. I needed his loyalty now more than ever.
The entire twenty-minute drive was full of nonstop design talk. An outsider would have viewed it as manic, but we loved what we did. I hadn’t had the opportunity to talk shop for a while, and we had a lot to catch up on. As we pulled up to the old brick building, I saw that the new sign had arrived: “Perry Designs Inc.” It had a metal base, but it was printed in scroll lettering, the dark grays and blacks a stark contrast against the aging motar between the rust-colored bricks.
I was greeted by the five full-time design assistants who physically took my drafts from paper or an electronic draft to the finished product. They had liberties to create different versions of my clothes cultivated from my original designs.
Each also had their own incubators—five white tables topped with five top-of-the-line sewing machines, five hanging racks filled with precious completed projects, female-formed mannequins, and steamers. Sitting in the middle were five large gray metal tables, workstations of their very own topped with fabrics and supplies. My original sketches lined the walls, one after the other. The Perry tag was enlarged and hung proudly over the door to my office, which was now Leo’s.
We spent hours discussing new ideas, goals, and everything creative. I ordered in for lunch, and afterward it was time for the financial summary. Leo followed me into my old office and gallantly waved a hand, offering the chair.
I declined. This was not what fulfilled me—the financial aspect, but I kept a very close eye on it, nevertheless. The buck stopped here.
“Leo, your dedication and commitment to this company hasn’t gone unnoticed. I’m overly impressed. I believe strong work ethics are rare these days, and you’ll be receiving a twenty-five percent raise—starting immediately.”
“Oh, Miss Perry, that’s most generous! Thank you.”
He seemed suddenly shy accepting my praise and financial reward for a job well done.
“Leo, you know this move is permanent, and I’m certain that more responsibility will fall on your shoulders. I wanted to compensate you prior to that.”
He nodded in understanding.
“One last thing. Can you please give me a lift home to my apartment?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
We drove in his older-model Honda as he told stories of his family in great detail.
I was elsewhere, my mind beginning to process the bittersweet change. The path to Alex had started here. I wasn’t sad, exactly. It felt more like growing pains, but the reward was waiting for me back in Reno. My decision had been quite easy. I wanted to share my life with the man I loved, and these were the steps I needed to take.
The sky had darkened, and we watched the low gray clouds gathering as we heard thunder rumbling in the distance. It was a stark contrast from this afternoon. The storm grew closer and closer, the wind howling as we approached my apartment building.
“Let me walk you up, Miss Perry.”
“That won’t be necessary. Why should we both get drenched?”
I offered him a smile.
“Take my umbrella then.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you in the morning.”
I opened his car door, a bullet of rain landed on my shoulder, a warning of what was to come. Suddenly, the rain grew stronger as I struggled to open the old umbrella. The wind gusted and the trees bent and swayed as I rushed up the stairs.
Inserting the key, I could barely make out the scratches and small dents in the metal door. As the rain and winds attacked from all angles, something cold and disturbing settled over me as a butterfly of fear flickered in my stomach. I opened the door quickly, ushering myself in. Then I hit the light switch on the wall.
The unexpected sight stilled me, as if this moment in time had paused. I swallowed slowly, silence descending as the images slammed through me.
The walls were covered with slurs, the angry red letters assaulting me.
Slut. Whore. Die, bitch.
My mind was reeling as my vision blurred. Everywhere I looked, there was destruction: furniture torn apart, or turned over. Slivers of broken glass glimmered. I could see tables and lamps knocked over, drawers opened and dumped. My clothes were slashed.
I wheezed in gulps of air in as fear darkened my thoughts. It was Graham, I could guarantee it. I stood in the same spot for a long time, afraid to go any further. I had never felt more alone.
“You bastard.”
Finding my phone, I immediately dial 911.
“What is your emergency?”
My blood was pumping inside me, making it hard to think.
“My home has been ransacked—possibly robbed. Can you please send help?”
I stumbled over the information she needed, and my voice hitched.
“An officer has been dispatched. Is there a chance the perpetrator’s still on the premises?”
Fear began to swallow me whole. It had never occurred to me—not for a split second—that I might still be in danger, that he may have been waiting, hiding in a closet, ready to attack me.
“I… I don’t think so, but I can’t be sure.”
She advised me to go to a neighbor, but I couldn’t. As a lone siren screamed through the night, its approach became louder, as if duplicating my silent screams. I disconnected the call, still shaken by the possible threat.
“Come, let’s get you out of the rain.”
The officer found me on the stairs, drenched by the rain holding the damaged, windblown umbrella, flooded in fear. His questions came fast and hard once he was exposed to the scene. I stood helpless as he searched every possible hideout, but he came back empty.
“I know this wasn’t a random act of violence or a coincidence. This was personal.”
I revealed the bits and pieces of the puzzle, drifting in and out of my memories of Graham Carrington. His terrible reputation was my main focus.
“Is the alleged suspect here in Sacramento?”
“No, at least as far as I know.”
But I believed he had personally took pleasure in every twisted act before me. His rage was out of control, I knew he hadn’t outsourced this to one of his goons.
“I’ll file a burglary report, as I can see the point of entry. The front door has significant damage.” As if sensing the stress was taking a toll, he turned to me. “I’ll need a statement soon. Has anything been stolen?”
“I don’t know.”
I squeezed my eyes tight, distancing myself from the war zone in front of me. Had I left anything of value here? What did it matter now? The things that had come to define me weren’t in this apartment
. The truth was, I could walk away from it and never look back.
“No, Officer, I’ll be leaving it all behind. I’ll hire a crew to take it all away.”
“There will still be a report on file,” he explained.
“That may prove useful. Tonight, I’ll stay in a hotel. I’ll call a cab now.”
The weight of the night was sitting heavy on my shoulders. I’d allowed the panic and fear to fuel me until now.
The officer waited until we heard the honk of the cab’s arrival. I stepped out into a cloak of darkness. The shadows in the trees were unnerving in the night. The rain had slowed and was now a soft drizzle misting upon us as I entered the cab. I felt numb.
“The Westin Hotel, please.”
I was simply going through the motions, getting as far away from there as possible. I knew I needed to call Alex, and I would call him, but as the raw fear turned into rage, I needed to feel safe behind a locked door first. I needed to shower the filth off from Graham’s evil touch on my personal belongings.
Once I was safe and secure in my hotel room, I caved completely, my emotions finally manifesting into tears. How had it come to this? I’d thought this was over. Oh, how wrong I’d been. I wouldn’t make that mistake again. He been arrogant enough to think he could walk away from this unscathed, and I worried that he would.
I wrapped my hair in a towel after a long, hot shower. Then I ordered hot tea and finally took my first sip when it arrived. Reaching for my phone, I dialed Alex.
“Hey, beautiful.”
He had picked up on the first ring. His voice had soothed me for one brief moment before my memories came back. I tried to take a deep breath.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
Hearing my sigh, he pushed, his level of tension rising as I searched for a calmer version of events.
“I’m fine, and safe. Someone broke into my apartment and ransacked it. They wrote disgusting messages on the wall, but I’m confident about who’s responsible.”
“Fuck,” he growled down the line. “I’m coming to get you.”
Surviving the Storm (Surviving Series Book 2) Page 18