One thing at a time, he reminded himself, trying not to burden his brain with too many thoughts. But as he walked past her and tried to catch her gaze, one question rose to the surface.
Who is the father? Who did she end up with?
His step faltered a moment as he passed her but she still wouldn’t look at him.
Stifling another sigh he walked to the only open door in the long hallway and stepped into his parents’ old room.
Once again he fought down a beat of resentment, seeing Glenda lying on his mother and father's bed. The grandmother who, after Matt and Belinda Groves’ death, had brought him to Tall Timber and asked the Tye family to please take care of him because there was no way she could.
And then she hied herself off to Europe, Asia, and South America, staying away for months at a time. She wrote from time to time and had come back to Rockyview for a day here or there but never stayed long enough to give him anything he needed from her. Affection. A connection to his parents. A story about his mother, Glenda’s daughter.
She was always remote, aloof, and seemed to hold a reserve of anger he often thought had much to do with him.
She had given him no support or comfort.
Until she needed what Lucas could give her. A place to stay. Initially he’d been tempted to say no, but despite his anger and bitterness toward her, she was still his mother’s mother, and he couldn’t say no.
“Hey, Glenda,” he said.
“Hello, Lucas. So you’re back?”
He nodded, standing awkwardly at the end of the bed, his mind a confusion of resentment and frustration and, if he wanted to dig deep enough, old pain from how easily she passed him off to another family.
She looked much thinner than the last time he saw her, a couple of years ago. Her face was drawn, pale. Of course, she’d just had a hip replacement. That was bound to bring his usually domineering grandmother down.
“You look tired,” she continued, pushing herself up to a sitting position, adjusting the blankets under her. She wore her usual white shirt and black leggings. Bohemian, she had told him once, though he didn’t know what it meant at the time.
“I am,” he returned, scraping through his brain, trying to find more than two words.
“I imagine you saw lots? Experienced lots?”
“Enough.”
Down to one word. Things were digressing.
She looked him over, then her eyes narrowed. Lifting a trembling finger she pointed to his face. “You get that over…over there?”
Lucas fingered the still-ridged and sensitive scar and nodded. “We were doing a training exercise—” He stopped, unwilling to re-live the experience in front of Glenda. He’d gone over that day so many times, and each time he couldn’t figure out what he should have done differently. In Iraq, “expect the unexpected” was the byword. And in his case, the unexpected ended his military career. “But that was a while ago. How about you? How are you doing?”
“Doing better than I expected,” she said with what looked like a forced smile. “The doctor said I need to exercise every day, and that’s been helping.” She glanced past him, lifting her chin in the direction of the doorway. “And that mite of a girl keeps pushing me to do more.”
Though his grandmother’s words held a hint of annoyance, Lucas saw the softening of her mouth, getting as close to a smile as he’d ever seen on his taciturn grandmother.
“Just trying to get you better,” Summer said from behind him.
Lucas didn’t want to turn, but it was as if her voice drew him. His heart double-timed when her large eyes met his then skipped away.
Summer came farther into the bedroom, setting the tray she was carrying on the bedside table. “It’s time for your meds.”
“I can take them later.”
“Later is now,” Summer insisted, ignoring Glenda’s protest.
“So you hired Summer?” Lucas asked, still struggling to make conversation.
“I’m paying her out of my own pocket as a private nurse,” Glenda said with a petulant tone. “Won’t come out of your ranch money.”
Clearly, Glenda assumed he would begrudge her whatever she used. “You do what you want,” he said. “Is Summer staying in the suite?”
“No. The doctor said she should stay close by, so she’s in your room. So if it’s okay with you, the suite is yours.”
Lucas shot another surprised glance Summer’s way but she was bending over the tray, pouring water into a glass and placing pills in a small plastic cup.
Stay in the same house as his pregnant ex-girlfriend? The woman who told him she couldn’t commit to him?
And what about the father of the child? Was he in the picture? She wasn’t wearing a ring. Was she married? And if so, to who?
Lucas drew in a steady breath, stifling the horde of questions.
His doctor and counselor both had warned him that the trauma of his injury would give him moments of confusion, where his brain would seem to go its own way.
He counted down, breathed, and gathered his thoughts, focusing on the very next thing he needed to do. Narrow the options, keep things simple.
“Is there a bed in the suite?” he asked.
“It’s all still furnished. I got Summer to make up the bed for you once we knew you were returning.”
“Thanks,” he said to Summer’s back. She shifted her head and nodded just enough so he knew she had acknowledged his comment.
“Are you going to be okay in there?” his grandmother asked. “You don’t mind?”
He caught the faintest hint of uncertainty in her voice, which surprised him. Glenda was never one to second-guess or double-think. She had always been proud of the fact that when she made a decision she looked forward, not back.
She would say regrets were for weak people who didn’t know what they wanted.
As a child Lucas was always in awe of his grandmother’s decisive attitude and, if he were honest, afraid of this firm, strong-willed woman.
“It’s a place to sleep.” Which about summed up how his life had been since being discharged from the army. “I’m going to unpack and settle in.”
He was as tired as his grandmother accused him of being. All he wanted to do was fall into bed and try to find the sleep that eluded him so often.
Plus, he needed to give himself some space to think what he would do about Summer being so close by.
He didn’t think he wanted to stay here after all.
But that was something to consider tomorrow. Right now he needed some serious rack time.
* * *
Summer closed the door on Glenda’s room, thankful she was sleeping. She leaned against the wall, resting her pounding head, pulling in a slow breath. She’d been very focused on breathing these days. Preparing herself for a birth that was still a month away.
Her feet throbbed, her legs hurt, and her heart was worn, weary, and wrung out.
Incoherent, half-formed prayers whispered through her mind.
Please, Lord…help me…give me strength. He wasn’t supposed to come while I was here.
Summer knew taking the job as Glenda’s nurse in Lucas’s childhood home was risky, but she had been told that Lucas wouldn't return until well after Christmas.
And Summer needed the work. After she found out she was pregnant, she moved back to Rockyview, fighting down her shame and moving back in with her mother, accepting any job she could. Though she was a certified Emergency Department nurse, there were few jobs available in her field in Rockyview. Shannon, another nurse at the hospital where she grabbed a few shifts, had put her onto working for Glenda.
Summer had been thankful for the work because it jived perfectly with her situation. She couldn’t promise anyone more than the few months left she had in her pregnancy, and Glenda only needed someone for about six weeks.
This job had been an answer to prayer, but Lucas’s early arrival wasn’t.
She arched her back, easing out the kink that had made a regular h
ome there, then went to the kitchen to make Glenda’s supper.
The room held a warmth that always made her smile. Gleaming white cupboards with dove-gray granite countertops and a deep kitchen sink in black. Some cupboard doors had leaded glass, giving a distorted view of the plates, mugs, and bowls nestled inside.
She had first seen this kitchen when she and Lucas were dating in high school. The people who had rented it since his parents died had moved out and it was vacant for a couple of months. Though they weren’t officially engaged, Summer knew she wanted to marry Lucas and settle in Rockyview. She loved him deeply and knew he was her soul mate.
So when Lucas took her to this house, this place held in trust for him when his parents died, she imagined herself living there. Imagined herself working in this kitchen.
Lucas wasn’t legally entitled to the place until he was twenty-five, a provision his father had made so he wouldn’t be, as the lawyer had told him, ‘burdened and obligated to live there.’ But knowing it would be in their future was like a dream to Summer, who had grown up in a cramped apartment above the hardware store where her single mother worked for minimum wage.
She had ignored the niggle of concern whenever Lucas talked about his dream of joining the army. Of doing what his father, a war hero with the Princess Patricia Canadian Light Infantry, had done. Fight for freedom.
She had hoped she could talk him out of it. Had thought he might change his mind once they got engaged. By the time she realized he would never do that, she was hopelessly in love with him. They managed their relationship through the first year of his basic training. But she missed him with an ache that was bone deep. It grew harder to say good-bye each time.
And then, just before Lucas was due to be shipped out overseas, her twin brother, Michael, died snowboarding on the local ski hill. He had been out of bounds and was buried in an avalanche. In the ensuing grief that tore her and her mother’s lives apart, Summer knew she couldn’t risk losing someone she loved again. She couldn’t support Lucas’s dream, so to protect her heart, she had ended the relationship.
He went overseas. She moved to Edmonton and took her training to become a nurse and tried to forget the only man she ever loved.
She hadn’t seen him since then until a few earth-shattering moments ago.
Her wayward heart still stuttered in her chest at the memory of him. At the sight of him.
At the scar slithering down the side of his face. The injury that ended his career and brought him home.
Summer looked down at her growing stomach, fear, worry, and the ever-increasing concern about other people’s perceptions threatening to fully engulf her.
Help me, Lord.
The simple prayer sifted out of the tangle of her thoughts and she breathed slowly, looking out the window, seeking peace. She was doing the right thing for the baby. Her heart and her life showed her that clearly.
Today the sun shone from a sky wisped with faint clouds.
Today was what she needed to focus on. Soon Glenda would be up and demanding to know what Summer was cooking for dinner.
Would she be expected to feed Lucas as well?
She hoped not. The suite had its own kitchen. Summer was sure after being on his own so long, he could manage for himself.
But how would she deal with him being right next door with only a wall between them? Seeing him every time he came and went?
Summer pulled in another deep breath, fighting down an unwelcome and unexpected thrum of sorrow.
Why had he come now? When her personal life was such a mess?
When she was coming to the end of one of the hardest decisions she had ever made?
When she would give the baby she was carrying up for adoption.
Chapter 3
“Everything still in one piece on your little farm tucked in the mountains?”
It was Tuesday morning and Lucas was slowly settling in.
“Levi, good buddy, how many times do I have to tell you, it’s a ranch.” Lucas grinned as he dropped onto the couch in the granny suite.
“So how long you think you’ll stay there?” Levi asked, his words distorted by the whistling of wind.
His old army buddy was riding his motorbike, talking on his headset. Free as a bird. Levi was a reservist who picked his times of service. Levi had decided to take a break and tour Mexico, head to South America, looking for sun and warm weather as winter edged closer up here. He had invited Lucas to come along but, while Lucas liked Levi, he didn't like his buddy’s idea of a good time.
“Not sure. Depends on how much sleep I get.”
Sleep. That elusive state that most soldiers struggle with. Sleep that was always messed up by downing too many power drinks and popping NoDoz to stay awake during night patrol.
And the dreams that sucked him out of sleep when it did come didn’t help either.
“And how is that working for you?”
“Better. Still won’t touch anything with caffeine in it though.” Lucas tugged out a chair and lowered himself onto it, his head throbbing. The armed forces doctor told him the headaches would decrease over time, but to Lucas, the time was dragging interminably.
“You’re doing better than me,” Levi returned, his voice distorted. “I know every Tim Hortons en route. Civilian coffee tastes so much better than the swill they tried to give us over there.”
“Limited Timmies in Rockyview,” Lucas said. “Though I’ve been told there’s another café besides Mug Shots in town that serves really good lattes.”
“Lattes.” Levi grunted. “Only chairborne rangers drink that swill.”
Lucas chuckled at Levi’s use of the slang to denote anyone in the military who worked at a desk. “I might try it.”
“And Gramma. How’s the old bat doing?”
Respect was not Levi’s strong point. “She’s recuperating from hip surgery, so I guess not too well.”
“Seriously. You gotta take care of her?”
“No. That honor has been given to my old girlfriend.”
“That Summer chick?”
And how sad was his life that his army buddy knew exactly which old girlfriend he was referring to. Because Lucas had only had one.
Oh sure, he’d dated when he was on leave, but no girl captured his fancy, let alone his heart. No one could ever compare to Summer.
“Yeah. Her.”
A moment of silence followed that pronouncement. “So, maybe this could give you a chance to get over her.”
Lucas thought of Summer’s pregnancy. Which made him wonder, again, who the father was and where he was.
“I think I might finally be able to take that step.”
“That’d be great. You can come back to Kingston. I could introduce you to my sister’s best friend. We could have some fun.”
Lucas knew exactly what ‘fun’ entailed for Levi. Loud parties and too much to drink.
He had come to the ranch to find peace and quiet and get his head in the right space to make some decisions.
“Thanks. I think I’ll stick around here for a while.”
He wanted to catch up with Zach, Tricia, and his brothers. Spend some time at the Tall Timber Ranch that had been his second home after his parents’ death.
And now, even more pressing, get away from this house.
“I’ll keep the offer on the table,” Levi said. “Call me anytime.”
Lucas thanked his friend then hung up, rubbing his hand over his eyes. All the way to the ranch he’d felt the burdens he’d dragged the past few years slowly slip off his shoulders. The guilt over leaving his fellow soldiers behind. The feeling he had let his father, who had been career military, down. His therapist had worked him through the harder times and had reminded him that many choices had been taken out of his hands. That to surrender to his circumstances would be better for him than trying to fight and resist what happened.
But he still felt like a failure, coming back to the ranch that his father had run away from as a young man hi
mself. Leaving the military that had been his father’s life. Lucas hadn’t been affected by the moves his family had made from base to base. He’d been too young and his mother homeschooled him, so he didn't miss school friends.
His father had been on leave when they got the news that Grandfather Groves had died and left the ranch in Rockyview to his son. Lucas was only eight when they moved to the ranch to decide what to do with it.
Much like what he was doing now. Only his parents didn’t have much time to make a decision. They were killed in that freak kayaking accident.
Lucas had made friends with Elliot Tye who lived just down the road, and he’d been staying with him at the Tye ranch when the accident happened.
Lucas stifled a jaw-cracking yawn then ambled over to the bed, his mind fuzzed by weariness and emotional exhaustion.
He would sleep now, get through this evening here, go for a walk around the place maybe, then tomorrow head over to Tall Timber Ranch.
Maybe, if there was space in the main house or one of the out-cabins, he could stay there.
It would be a lot easier than being here.
* * *
Lucas slowed as he made that last turn to the Tall Timber Ranch, watched as the trees fell away and the view opened up.
He stopped on the rise, looking down at the imposing house that had been his home for over half his life.
He didn’t know why he expected Tall Timber to look any different. Maybe it was all the changes that had happened while he was gone?
His oldest brother Kane married to his childhood sweetheart, his sister, Tricia, was planning her wedding to some horse trainer, and even bronc-riding, chase-the-wind Elliot was settling down to work on the ranch in partnership with Kane.
Engaged to a city girl, of all things.
Lucas let a wisp of a smile shift his mouth as he drank in the ranch's peace.
Sanctuary, he thought, remembering the word he used when he tried to describe Tall Timber to his army buddies out in the desert and the heat. Trying to talk about granite mountains so high the snow retreated but never disappeared from their peaks.
The Cowboy’s Return Page 2