“I’m so glad everything’s going well,” Kinsley said to Summer. “You’re one strong woman.”
“Well, you do what you have to do,” Summer said, smiling politely at her. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few things to get together.”
Glenda frowned at Lucas as he set the diaper bag on the table.
“What’s going on?” she whispered, eyes wide.
Lucas just shook his head in warning. “Not now,” was all he said.
A few minutes later Summer came back with a suitcase and her purse. She was walking awkwardly yet looked determined.
She was really leaving?
The questions piled up again but again Lucas pushed them down.
“Let me do that,” Lucas said, hurrying over to take her suitcase from her. Even though every part of him screamed not to help her, to talk her out of this, he knew he had to bide his time. Give her space. She was dealing with some huge, life-changing circumstances, and he had to respect that.
Thank goodness she didn’t fight him and handed the heavy suitcase over without a word.
“I’ll take this out to the car and get it started,” he said, struggling to keep his tone even and well-modulated, ignoring his grandmother’s shocked and puzzled look. Unthreatening. “It will need to warm up before you put the little peanut in there.”
Her only reply was a curt nod, but she didn’t hand him the keys to her car. She wasn’t looking at him, and he suspected she was on the verge of tears. He hoped he didn’t see that, because it would undo him. He could yell at a fellow soldier, put a man in his cross-hairs if he had to, but the sight of Summer’s tears would send him to his knees.
He followed her out of the house, the cold and packed snow squeaking under their feet. She unlocked the car and he put the suitcase inside.
“I’ll move the car seat bracket,” he said as she got in to start it.
She didn’t respond, starting the car and then getting out.
“I should change…the baby before I go,” she said, her voice wavering, her eyes avoiding his.
He watched her go, her movements still awkward, her steps tentative. But she didn’t look back.
It took a little work to get the base of the car seat installed into Summer’s car, and his hands were cold and aching when he was finished.
The exhaust of the car plumed outward in the cold air but even so, he paused a moment, head down, hands resting on the roof of the car.
He swallowed down an unwelcome sorrow, tears threatening. He couldn’t go there. Couldn’t start. He’d faced too much loss and grief. But this…this was awful. This mixture of sorrow for what Summer had to deal with and, if he was honest, his own mixed emotions. Sucking in a deep breath of cold air, he straightened, waited a moment to gather his emotions, then came back in the house in time to see Summer unbuckling her baby from the car seat, threading those tiny little arms through the wide straps, then cradling her close. With her free hand she grabbed the diaper bag and left for the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Glenda and Kinsley seemed surprised and looked over at Lucas as if to get something from him.
But he just shrugged, not trusting himself to speak.
“She’s leaving?” Glenda whispered, shock edging her voice. “She surely can’t be driving yet?”
“That’s what I said. I would take her but she said she needs some space away from everyone pushing at her.”
“Have we put too much pressure on her?”
Wasn’t hard to hear the dismay in Glenda’s voice.
“I can stay for the afternoon to help out,” Kinsley was saying, looking from Glenda to Lucas.
“That would be really helpful,” Lucas said. He wasn’t sure what he would do, but he sure didn’t want to hang around here, knowing Summer and her baby were gone.
A few moments later Summer emerged, cradling her baby in one arm, carrying the diaper bag in the other.
“Glenda, I have to phone home care and see about finding my replacement,” she said. “I’m sorry about this, but I need—” Her voice broke, and she pulled in a deep breath as if to steady herself.
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” Glenda said. “I’ll be fine on my own.”
“Nevertheless, I’m making sure someone comes in and checks on you periodically.” Summer slipped her baby into the car seat again, buckled her up, then put the cover over the top.
“You need a hand?” Kinsley asked.
“I can manage,” Summer said. “But thanks for asking. Sorry I can’t stay, but I’ve got things on my mind.”
“Of course,” Kinsley said. “I hope you’re able to sort everything out.”
Summer gave her a vague smile, then hooked the car seat over one arm and picked up the diaper bag with the other. Then she walked toward the door.
Lucas was there before she arrived and opened it for her.
But she didn’t even spare him a glance as she walked through.
He opened the car door for her, standing aside as she anchored the car seat to the base. He closed the door, his eyes glued to her, wondering if she would say anything.
She stood a moment, head bent, her bare hands grasping each other.
“Where are you going?” he finally asked, unable to bear the silence anymore.
“I just need some time by myself,” she said. “I just need to be alone without pressure.”
“Can we talk about this?” he asked.
“No. No more talking. I’ve talked to too many people. Too many people have talked to me. I need some quiet time to think.”
Lucas didn’t know what to say to that.
Then with a tight shake of her head, she walked around the car, stepped inside, and closed the door behind her.
Lucas shivered in the frigid winter air but couldn’t keep his eyes off the car as she backed out, turned, and then drove away, snow swirling around her, obscuring her exit.
Lucas wished he knew exactly what was happening, but at the same time, he’d heard the anguish in her voice and knew he had to let her go.
Chapter 16
“So this is your room number, and here’s your key.” Colleen, the young woman working at the Hidden Creek Inn, pushed an old-fashioned door key across the desk at her. “Will you need a hand with your luggage?”
“That would be nice,” Summer said. Despite her insistence on being fine when Lucas asked, she was feeling dizzy. Tired. She had pushed herself too hard and needed to take it easy.
Colleen came around the desk and grabbed Summer’s suitcase and the diaper bag. “Just follow me,” she said walking backward through a double set of swinging doors.
As they walked down the hallway Summer noticed the worn carpet and the chipped paint on the old wooden doors. For a moment she questioned her choice to stay here, but she had no other options. She didn’t want to stay at her mother’s, and she knew she shouldn’t drive far.
Colleen stopped, set Summer’s diaper bag down, and unlocked the room door for her, pushing it open. “And this is your room,” she said.
Summer stepped inside, looking carefully around. There were no odd smells, and other than a general air of neglect, the room was tidy and clean.
“I’ll make sure you get a baby bed for your little girl.” Colleen gave her a polite smile as she set Summer’s suitcase on a rack by the bed. “I’ll be back with that in a minute.”
Summer acknowledged her comment with a tight nod, the headache that had been threatening the past few hours slowly making itself known.
She set the car seat on the bed and peeked inside. Thankfully, her baby was still sleeping. That was one blessing. Considering her circumstances, Summer couldn’t have asked for an easier baby to take care of.
She walked to the heavy brocade curtains and swished them aside. Snow covered the grounds of the Inn, but despite that she could still see how spacious and beautiful they were. Clumps of trees dotted the expansive lawn, which swept away to a small creek that hadn’t yet frozen ove
r. A quaint wooden bridge spanned the creek. Beyond that she saw the town and beyond that the mountains edging Rockyview. She leaned her forehead against the cool glass, her eyes closed as her jumbled mind formulated a prayer.
Please, Lord, help me through this, was all she could pray. She wasn’t sure what to ask for, what to request. All she wanted now was some peace and quiet and some time to think and pray.
She opened her suitcase and pulled out her clothes, setting them inside the dresser opposite the bed.
A rap on the door and Colleen stepped inside, carrying a portable crib. “Here we go. Thank goodness Housekeeping Helen knows where stuff is in this old, rundown place. I just wish Larissa would do something with it already.”
She sounded exasperated, but Summer wasn’t getting into anything with her. Hidden Creek Inn had been around as long as Summer could remember. Summer understood it was being managed by Larissa Weir, daughter of one of the original owners. But from the looks of things, Larissa hadn’t been very focused on upkeep.
Summer pushed the thought aside. Not her problem. This was a place to stay for now and that was all.
“I think she’d like to do more,” Colleen continued, obviously not noticing Summer’s lack of conversational participation as she set up the crib, “But she’s got some tough owners to work with. Her Uncle Baxter is too busy with his sawmill and other businesses to fuss too much with the inn. It’s hard to get good people to work here because it’s showing its age.” Colleen gave Summer a quick smile. “I mean, I’m good help, and so is Helen and Bridget and a few others, but we get so much staff coming and going…” She let her voice trail off, then shook her head. “Sorry, this is none of your business. It’s just that things have been up in the air lately and I’m a little uptight.”
Tell me about it, Summer thought. “Thanks for your help, Colleen. I think I’ll be okay from here.”
“If you need anything to eat, let me know. We’re not running a full staff so we have a set menu on Friday, Saturdays, and Sundays, but if you need anything special, Bridget will probably be willing to accommodate you.”
“Thanks again,” Summer said, hoping Colleen would get the hint. Then a tiny cry emanated from the car seat, and Colleen left.
Finally, Summer thought, dropping onto the bed beside the car seat. She took the baby out, her cries growing in earnest. Juggling her, Summer pulled a baby bottle out of the diaper bag. She’d stopped in town and picked up a breast pump, baby bottles, some diapers, and a few baby clothes.
Just to hold her over until the future parents—
Breathe. Breathe. Don’t think about that now.
Summer juggled her little girl as she ran the bottle under hot water in the bathroom.
Then she trudged to a chair by the bed, sat carefully down, and slipped the bottle in her baby’s mouth. Thankfully, the baby took it and gulped it down, tiny bubbles slipping up the sides of the bottle as she drank.
Half an hour later she was full, burped, and changed. And fast asleep.
Summer lowered herself on the bed, kicked her shoes off, and watched her baby through the netting of the crib.
“And now we’re finally alone,” she said to her, watching as the baby’s mouth opened and closed, like she was still drinking. Her tiny hand slipped up and curled under her chin. Just like Summer always did when she slept.
So what do I do, Lord?
The question roiled around in her head, tiring her, chasing all the comments she heard from the other people in her life. Everyone had an opinion and shared it with her.
And what was hers?
Right now she was too tired to think. Too tired to process anything. So she closed her eyes. Just for a moment, she told herself. Then she would get up and go get something to eat. Run a few errands.
Just for a moment.
* * *
She could smell smoke. Something was on fire. This old inn was burning up.
Summer struggled to open her eyes and fought to regain her senses.
What was going on? She had to get out. The smoke detector was beeping. Then stopping. Then beeping again.
Her eyelids felt like they were weighted down, her body like she was swimming against a current.
Then, finally, she dragged open her eyes, jolting to a sitting position, looking around, trying to orient herself. She was at the inn.
Her baby. Her little girl.
She realized there was no smoke and there was no fire. It was just a dream.
She struggled to her feet, pulling the crib close, staring inside. Her little girl lay sleeping peacefully, unaware of her mother’s terror.
Summer’s heart still thundered in her chest, her breathing quick and panicky. As she lay back down on the bed, she heard the beeping again.
It was just her cell phone.
She would have let it ring, but she had texted Eve while she was in the hospital.
Summer pulled her phone out of her purse, glanced at the screen and took the call.
“Hey, Eve,” she said, lying back on the bed, kneading her forehead with her fingers. “Thanks for calling me back.”
“So what’s going on? I went to the hospital to see you, but they said you checked out already. Where are you?”
“I just needed some time to myself.”
“What do you mean? Time to yourself? We’re in the middle of an adoption process. You just had a baby and need to recuperate. What’s happening?”
“I told you I just needed some time to myself. I’ve had so many people telling me what to do, giving me their opinion, I’m exhausted. I just need a break from everyone yakking at me.”
“I understand that. But I need to finalize a few things.”
Summer paused a moment, thinking. “Can I meet you on Monday at Mug Shots?”
“Why there and not my office?”
Because the office felt too formal, too intimidating. Because she was afraid she would change her mind if she went there.
“I just would feel more comfortable there.”
“I’m not crazy about this…”
“Please.”
“Okay.” Eve was quiet for a moment, as if waiting to hear more. Summer wasn’t about to fill the silence. “I guess I’ll find out on Monday what’s happening?” she said finally.
“I’m not sure myself what’s going on,” Summer said. “But I’ll let you know for sure what’s happening on Monday.”
“You can’t tell me now?”
“I’m saying good-bye now,” Summer said.
“Sorry. Just trying to tie up loose ends. I’ll see you then.”
Eve ended the call, and Summer stared at the ceiling, trying to still her mind. She prayed again and then she slept some more.
Once Summer woke up again, she had a shower and changed into other clothes. She fed her baby again, looking down at her as the little girl drank. Her eyes were still closed, but each time she held her, Summer grew more connected to her.
Her phone beeped again, and Summer realized she had forgotten to turn it off. She wanted to ignore it but curiosity overtook her and she picked it up.
A text from Lucas.
Her heart turned over in her chest, but she couldn’t ignore it any more than she could stop breathing.
The first few lines said:
“I know you need space, but I have something I need to tell you.”
There was no way she was just going to let that go, so she clicked open the text and read the rest.
“I’m sorry for intruding on you like this, but I’ve been thinking and praying about you. This wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you, but you need to know that I love you. I will stand by you no matter which decision you make. I lost you once before, and I don’t want to lose you again. I’m hoping we can be together once this is all over. But again, that’s up to you. It’s all in your hands.”
By the time she was done reading, tears streamed down Summer’s face. She swallowed, and swallowed again.
This time she turned off her
phone.
* * *
On Sunday Lucas stayed home from church, parked himself in a chair in the suite, and read a book. He had gone out for a run that morning with Misty, and she spent most of the afternoon lying at his feet, fast asleep. He checked in on Glenda, who said she was fine and not to bother about her.
This morning he went for another run, had breakfast, and then joined Glenda for tea. They tried hard to talk about anything else other than Summer and her baby staying somewhere. Glenda had gone to church with a friend yesterday, so she talked about the sermon. Shared some Rockyview gossip.
Apparently, Carmen, who owned Carmen’s Café, was marrying Brent, who got a great job in Grande Prairie, so she was selling her coffee shop and deli to Kerry Parsons, who owned a popular coffee shop in town called Mug Shots. Kerry wanted to expand, and Carmen’s was a perfect location. Glenda was thinking of joining the book club Evangeline ran out of her bookstore. She heard that Mrs. Bond wasn’t feeling well, and there was a card-making class at Scrap Happy she might go to. All easy chitchat and gossip.
Lucas let her talk, interjecting a comment from time to time trying to show some interest, but all he could think of was Summer. After he’d sent her that text he wondered about the wisdom of it. Especially when she didn’t reply.
He knew he had to put Summer and her needs first. To trust her decision. He hoped she would realize that he would, indeed, support her no matter what.
“You’re not paying attention to a word I’m saying, are you?” Glenda asked, touching his arm lightly.
He shook his head and gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. No.”
“I’m not paying attention to myself either,” Glenda said with a sigh. “I keep thinking about Summer.”
“Me too.”
Glenda sipped her tea, looking past him to the window. The sun was shining today, glistening off the snow, creating an almost blinding glare. The blue sky held wisps of clouds. A beautiful day.
“Do you think you’ll try to find where she is?” Glenda asked. “There can’t be too many places in Rockyview—”
The Cowboy’s Return Page 22