They’re eating our dinner.
They’re talking to our parents.
And is it my imagination, or does Gretel’s hair look exactly like mine now? She must have used my brush! And I can’t see her mole. She must have covered it up with powder or something. And Hansel’s eyebrows look less bushy! Did Hansel pluck his eyebrows? What is wrong with these people?!
“Jonah!” my dad says. While looking at HANSEL.
Uh-oh. What did Hansel do? He’s going to get Jonah — the real Jonah — in even more trouble.
“You ate an entire helping of spinach!” my dad says. “Awesome! And you didn’t even need ketchup.”
Hansel, who is definitely not Jonah, holds up his palm for a high five. Seriously? He totally stole that from the real Jonah!
My dad slaps him five.
The real Jonah grumbles.
“This is the best spinach ever,” fake Jonah says. He looks totally serious, too. I watch Hansel — happily — eat another forkful of the green stuff.
“Wow,” my mom exclaims. “You two sure know how to make up for bad behavior. I’ve practically forgotten all about the broken lamp from last night. You came home from school, did your chores, and did your homework without being prompted. And now you’re eating your veggies. I’m impressed.”
“Does that mean I can have my golden ball back?” fake Jonah asks.
The real Jonah’s eyes go huge, and his face scrunches up. Is Hansel trying to get his hands on my brother’s prized ball? The one he told him all about?
“Yes, Jonah,” my mom says. “But no more playing ball in the house. Right?”
“Right!” Hansel and Gretel say together. “We promise.”
Real Jonah’s cheeks and ears turn all red the way they do when he’s really, really mad about something. He’s about to go charging into the kitchen.
I grab my brother’s arm. “We can’t let Mom and Dad see us yet,” I whisper. “They’ll totally freak out.”
Jonah’s face is still scrunched up. “But Hansel is stealing my stuff!”
“We’ll stop them,” I whisper-promise.
“Does anyone want more salad?” Mom asks, lifting up the polka-dot bowl. “Oh, no, the salad bowl has a chip in it! How did that happen?”
I watch Gretel take some more lettuce. Then she eats her final bite of steak. She dabs her mouth politely with her napkin.
Wait a minute. WAIT A MINUTE. Is Gretel wearing my FRA necklace? The one I made with my BFFs? She is! HEY!
“May I have more steak?” Gretel asks my mom. “It’s sooo good.”
“Of course, Abby,” my mom says, beaming at her children.
Who are not her children.
OMG. Hansel and Gretel have been pretending to be us all day!
And they’re really, really good at it.
How are we supposed to get our lives back?
“Who wants some fruit?” my dad asks.
Hansel yawns.
“Tired?” Mom asks.
Yeah, he’s exhausted from pretending to be my brother all day.
Hansel nods. “You can make my bedtime an hour earlier if you think I could use the extra sleep on school nights,” Hansel says as my dad hands him a bowl of fruit.
Jonah’s cheeks and ears turn even redder.
“WHAT?!” Jonah whisper-yells. “NO WAY AM I GOING TO BED AN HOUR EARLIER. That’s it, Abby, I’m going in there and telling them —”
“No,” I whisper-yell back. “Not yet!”
“That is very mature of you, Jonah,” my mother says to Hansel, winking at my dad.
Gretel smiles and pops a piece of cantaloupe in her mouth. “Frankie and Robin and I decided we’re all going to wear orange tomorrow,” Gretel says. “And Penny thinks it would be SO cute if we all wear pigtails, so we are.”
Now my cheeks and ears are steaming red. Gretel is stealing my friends now? She must have been hanging out with Robin and Frankie all day. In my FRA necklace.
And there is no way I’m wearing pigtails tomorrow. NO. WAY.
“Okay, that’s it!” I say, ready to charge in and tell our parents that the Abby and Jonah sitting at the table are impostors.
But now Jonah holds me back.
“Abby, we can’t go in!” Jonah says. “Like you said, Mom and Dad will freak. How would we explain that there are two Abbys and two Jonahs? We’d have to tell them everything. And we can’t!”
Crumbs. He’s right.
“I’m so glad you’re wearing that sweater Nana bought you, Jonah,” my dad says to Hansel. “I thought you didn’t like it.”
Real Jonah’s face scrunches up again. “I don’t. It’s itchy,” he whispers.
I bet I know why Hansel put on that sweater. Because it’s so bulky it makes him look less scrawny.
“What boy wouldn’t like a cardigan sweater with little sailboats on it?” Hansel asks.
He looks totally serious, too.
Then again, it’s probably the first warm sweater he’s ever had on. Which makes me feel a little bad.
But Hansel and Gretel are trying to steal our lives. We have to do something to get those lives back.
Dad laughs. “Who are you two and what did you do with our children?”
Seriously?
Ruff! Ruff-ruff!
Oh, no! Prince is barking like crazy. He runs past us right into the kitchen.
He’s sitting right behind Gretel’s chair and going nuts.
“There you are, Prince!” my mom says. “We were looking for you all day. We almost sent out a search party.”
Oh, sure, for him they were going to send out a search party. I bet they would have used a great photo for him.
Ruff! Ruff-ruff! Prince barks even louder, and runs over to Hansel. He keeps barking.
“That’s enough, Prince!” my dad says. “I know you’re excited to see Abby and Jonah now that you’re back from wherever you ran off to. But no more barking.”
Prince lets out one more tiny ruff, then drops down with a scowl. He’s keeping his eye on Hansel and Gretel, though. Good dog.
“Come on, Jonah,” I whisper. “Let’s go hide upstairs in our rooms. We’ll confront our impostors when they come up. If anyone is going to wear orange tomorrow, it’s going to be me.”
“And if anyone is wearing that ugly, itchy sweater, it’s going to be me,” Jonah whispers back.
I raise an eyebrow.
Jonah wrinkles his nose. “Fine, he can keep the sweater.”
I go into my room, expecting to see that Gretel has turned it into HER room. But nothing is different. All my stuff is exactly where I left it.
I run to my jewelry box. Yesterday, Hansel and Gretel were on there, snacking on the witch’s candy house. Now, though, they’re eating dinner … at my kitchen table!
No. No way. This is not their happy ending.
They are not stealing my life. I’m putting a stop to it pronto.
But I can’t just jump on them. I sneak over to Jonah’s room and tell him to hide in his closet until they come upstairs.
I change into dry clothes and then I squeeze into my closet, beside my extra shoes.
Hmm. It’s dark in here.
This closet could use a window. And maybe some snacks. A mini-fridge would be good. Perhaps a water fountain?
Finally, finally, finally, the door to my room opens.
“Hello, beautiful room,” I hear Gretel say. “Hello, soft bed. Hello, thick pillow. And hello, fluffy rug.” I hear a sigh. “Abby is so lucky.”
I pop out of the closet.
“You!” she shrieks.
“Oh, yeah,” I say, my hands on my hips. “It’s me. And I’m not very happy with you.”
A moment later, Jonah marches Hansel into my room. Hansel’s cheeks are bright pink.
“Care to apologize for stealing our lives?” I ask.
“We couldn’t help it,” Gretel says. “The portal was swirling right in front of us.”
Hansel digs his big toe into the carpet. “
And you guys just kept bragging and bragging about how good you had it. With your school and your vegetables and your golden balls.”
“But that wasn’t fair!” I say. “The witch caught us!”
Gretel frowns. “She came back?”
“Yes!” I say. “And she took us prisoner in her house!”
“Well, so what?” Hansel says. “Otherwise she would have taken us prisoner!”
Fair point. “Maybe,” I say. “But that doesn’t excuse you for running away and stealing our lives.”
“Sorry,” Gretel says, her face crumpling. “I didn’t know the witch was home.”
“Me neither,” Hansel says. “Sorry. But you got away, right? You’re here.”
“Yes,” I say. “We got away. Barely. But we did.”
“Then once again you’re luckier than we are. You’re back with your perfect family. And we still have nowhere to go,” Gretel says with a sad frown.
“That’s not true,” Jonah says. “We saw your dad. He misses you and wants you to come home.”
“I don’t believe you,” Gretel says suspiciously.
“It’s true,” I say. “Your stepmom is gone, and the witch and her bird are going to jail. And veggies will be available to everyone in Vegetopia.”
“And your dad has a new girlfriend,” Jonah adds. “She has a slingshot!”
“Huh?” they ask.
“Not important,” I say with a wave of my hand. “But it’s definitely safe to go home.”
“Thanks,” Gretel says. “We really are sorry we pretended to be you. But it was fun. School was fun! And your friends are nice. I really like Penny. I volunteered the two of us to clean out the fish tank tomorrow at recess.”
Huh? “What? Penny? Recess?”
“The teacher asked for two volunteers to clean the fish tank, so I volunteered me and Penny! It’s a mess. I thought it would be nice for Penny and me to spend some quality time together.”
“Um …” I’m speechless.
“Oh, and you had a surprise math test today,” Gretel says. “You did not know most of the answers unfortunately. Sorry.”
Great. Just great. “Do I have any homework?” I spit out.
“Not that much,” she says. “Although Ms. Masserman said I have something called detention.”
What?! Detention? I’ve never had detention. EVER! “For what?”
“I’m not sure exactly. She kept telling me I had to raise my hand to talk, which I told her was absolutely ridiculous. Who raises their hand to talk? Their head maybe, but hand? I don’t talk with my hands!”
I take a deep breath. A very, very deep breath. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I wasn’t,” she says with a shrug.
Hmph.
“I kind of have something of yours,” Hansel says sheepishly.
“What?” Jonah asks nervously. I don’t blame him for being nervous after hearing what Gretel did to my life.
Hansel reaches into the sailboat-dotted cardigan and pulls out Jonah’s golden ball. “Your mom gave it to me. For eating so much spinach. And saying ‘thank you’ a lot.”
Jonah takes the ball and holds it close to him. Then he takes a deep breath … and tosses it back to Hansel. “You can keep it.”
“Really?”
Really?
“Really,” Jonah says. “It probably belongs on your side of the mirror. It keeps breaking things on this side.”
“It only broke one lamp,” I say.
“And the polka-dot salad bowl,” Jonah says with a laugh. “That’s how it got chipped. Oh, and maybe a glass figurine or two. It doesn’t matter. Not important!”
“So how do we get home?” Gretel asks, looking around the room. “Is there another swirly purple tree in your room that will take us back? Or do we go through your window, maybe?”
After everything they put us through, I’m tempted to tell them to try jumping out the window, but I don’t. “There’s a magic mirror in our basement,” I say. “The one you came through.”
“Hey,” Jonah asks. “Did you guys meet Maryrose? The magic fairy in the mirror?”
“No,” Gretel says. “We came through the mirror, landed in the basement, and just kind of walked around until we figured out which were your rooms. I can’t believe this entire house is yours.”
It’s true. It is a pretty great place to live. I guess I’ve really been taking it for granted.
“Well, you two have to get home now,” I say. “Your dad really misses you. He’s waiting for you at the police station. Do you know where that is?”
Gretel nods. “We have to cross a big pond to get there, but I know the way.”
“We can take Ms. Duck across,” Hansel tells her.
“Yeah, just don’t tell her to duck if you don’t want Gretel to get mad,” Jonah whispers with a grin.
“Huh?” Gretel asks.
“Nothing. Let’s go down to the mirror,” I say. “I’m sure Maryrose will let you through when we explain what happened.”
“But it’s not midnight,” Jonah says. “The mirror only works at midnight.”
“We have to try,” I say.
* * *
I tiptoe out of my bedroom and look up and down the hallway. No sign of my parents. Good. I head back in my room and close the door.
“Jonah,” I say, “go downstairs and make sure Mom and Dad aren’t around. I’m going to sneak Hansel and Gretel to the basement. If you hear Mom and Dad, make sure they don’t see us!”
“Got it,” he says.
“Abby?” Gretel asks, biting her lip.
“Yeah?” I say.
“Can I keep this outfit?” she asks. She glances down at my red sweater and jeans. She’s even wearing my purple high-tops.
“Sure,” I say. Not the first time I’ve lost clothes to a fairy tale.
“You can keep the sweater,” Jonah tells Hansel. “I hate that thing. It’s so ugly.”
Hansel frowns. “This sweater? No, thanks. It is really ugly!”
Jonah sighs as Hansel takes off the sweater and hands it to him.
“You should probably have this back, too,” Gretel says, removing the FRA necklace and handing it to me.
“Thanks,” I say, and put it around my neck. “I appreciate you giving it back. Okay, Jonah — go be the lookout.” I turn to Hansel and Gretel. “Come on, guys. Time to go.”
We slip downstairs. I hear my parents in the kitchen. Please don’t come out and see two Abbys and two Jonahs!
“Hurry!” I whisper as we round the corner to the basement door.
Success — our parents don’t come out of the kitchen.
We rush down the steps and stop in front of the mirror.
I knock three times.
Nothing happens.
“Maryrose?” I call. “Hello? It’s me, Abby.”
“And Jonah!” he says.
“And Hansel and Gretel,” Hansel adds.
“Maryrose?” I say again, knocking three more times. “Hansel and Gretel need to go home. I know it’s not midnight, but can you open the portal so they can leave?”
No answer.
Crumbs.
“I guess we really do have to wait till midnight,” I say. “Okay, everyone back upstairs. Quietly!”
We all head back up to my room.
So much for getting my life back.
* * *
“Abby? Jonah?” my parents call. “Do you want to come watch a show with us in the den?”
I’m about to tell Hansel and Gretel that it’s their turn to hide in the closet, when I change my mind.
“Go ahead,” I say. “Have you ever watched TV?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Today after school. How do those people get in there anyway? How does it work?”
I laugh. “I have no idea,” I admit.
She shakes her head. “I’m sure you want to see your parents. You go. Really. I’m happy to take a nap in your bed. So soft! Like sleeping on clouds. And this pillow,” she says with a s
igh, leaning her head against it. “Like a marshmallow. I don’t have a pillow of my own. Just a bale of hay in an old dress that I put under my head.”
A bale of hay? Like in the cottage? That’s horrible. I suddenly feel really bad about all the complaining I did yesterday.
“Well, get some rest,” I say. “I’ll keep my mom out. I’ll wake you at midnight.”
I quickly change into pj’s, say good night, and tuck her in. As I look around my room at all my stuff, I realize how much I really have. And not just the basic stuff like pillows and a comfy bed and warm clothes. I have a nice house. Great parents. A teacher who cares how I do on tests. Friends. I have all that and so many extras. Like a family laptop and iPad. My amazing watch. And how many pairs of shoes do I have in my closet? A lot.
I run down to see my parents.
“Hi!” I call out, jumping in between them. I give them a big hug. “I love you guys. Have I told you that lately? You’re the best.”
“What’s up with you two today?” my mom asks, looking between me and Jonah. “It’s like aliens possessed my kids!”
“Don’t jinx it,” my dad says. “I like it.”
Jonah is already sitting on the couch. He gives me a wink.
At least I think it’s Jonah.
I’m ninety-nine percent sure.
“I think I’m still hungry,” my dad says. “Should I get us something sweet? Chocolate-chip cookies maybe?”
Jonah and I look at each other. We’ve had a lot of sugar in the last twenty-four hours. A LOT.
I shrug. “There’s always room for a snack.”
* * *
My alarm goes off at eleven fifty. I slept on the floor and let Gretel sleep in my bed. I’m nice like that.
I shake Gretel awake. She yawns and stands up. “Time to go?” she asks.
“Yup,” I say. “Let’s go wake up our little brothers.”
We sneak into Jonah’s room. Jonah is in his bed, and Hansel is sleeping on the floor — I guess Jonah is not as nice as I am. Or Hansel likes sleeping on the floor. I wake up Jonah, and Gretel wakes up Hansel.
Both boys have the same funny bedhead.
“Be right back,” I say, and rush into my room. I grab the big box from under my bed and carry it into the hallway.
“What’s in the box?” Gretel asks as we head downstairs and then go down the final flight of stairs to the basement.
“You’ll see,” Jonah says. “Abby and I put together a big care package for you and Hansel.”
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