by Young, Alexa
“Fuck, man, that must have been hard.”
I stop dead in my tracks. “It still is. Watching her date other guys, it kills me every time. I guess I’ve been lucky they’ve been few and far between, but when it happens, it’s just like being stabbed in the heart once again.” I thump my chest with my fist. It hurts like fucking hell.
Ritchie walks over and stands in front of me, forcing me to look up and meet his eyes. “Have you ever thought about telling her how you feel?”
I snort at his suggestion. “She doesn’t feel the same. Trust me, I would know.”
He frowns slightly. “But have you actually put it out there?”
“No.”
His eyes widen in surprise. “Why the hell not? Surely it’s got to be worth all this agony.”
“Because I don’t want to lose her. Things would change, and our friendship wouldn’t be the same. I’d rather have a few crumbs off the table than nothing at all.”
“You know, I was once in a similar situation in college. I fell hook, line and sinker for a girl, and we dated, fucked a lot, but that’s all it was, just us fucking. They say it’s the women who get emotionally attached, but it was me. I wanted more, needed more, and she didn’t.”
“So, what happened?” I asked, looking into his pained green eyes.
“She said she couldn’t be with me that way, knowing the feelings I had for her, so we split. I took it hard, I missed her. I fucked a lot of girls after that to get her out of my head, and then along came Laurie and I knew she was the one. She healed me, showed me what real love is. That’s why you have to move on, Dray, regardless of whether you want to or not. You need to find your Laurie. You’re twenty-eight now. You can’t keep living this make-do lifestyle. You deserve to find love, to be happy.”
My lips twitch at his words. “You know, you’re really sounding like a chick right now.”
“Fuck you. I’m your friend, and I’ve been there. Trust me, I know the pain, but there’s someone else out there. You’ve just got to be ready to look.”
I frown at his suggestion. “I can’t, it’s not the right time.”
“It never is. I’m going to ask Laurie if she has any single—”
“The fuck you will. I’m capable of finding my own women,” I snort. I do not need anyone arranging fucking dates for me.
“What, like Caroline?”
Fucker.
“She’s just a—”
“Quick fuck?” Richie finishes. “I know. Come on, Dray. I’m trying here, so you’ve got to meet me halfway,” he pleads.
I let out a loud sigh in frustration. “Just leave it for now, Ritch. I know what you’re saying, but I just need to get my head around it all before I start putting myself out there.”
“Well, the moment you feel ready, tell me,” he replies, urging me with his eyes.
“Okay! Jesus, are you sure you’re not turning into a woman?” I chuckle. I know he’s only caring about me, but fuck, it’s a little overwhelming.
“Fuck off. I need some scotch after that.” He scrubs his hand down his tired face.
I smile at his suggestion. “I have the perfect bottle. Let’s head back to my office and enjoy it there. It’s almost time for the big fight, too.”
His eyes flick to his watch. “Better give Laurie a quick ring and tell her it might be a late one.”
“Pussy-whipped,” I add teasingly.
“It’s called being considerate, you fucker.” Ritch kicks me hard on the shin, and I curse as I shove him back. I appreciate him being there for me, though I’d never fucking tell him that.
Because that’s how we are.
Men.
Chapter Four
“So, we’ll look forward to supplying you with our new health range in the future. Thanks for your time. Here’s a card if you need to get me, and my private number is on there, too.” Mia flicks her tongue over her overly-glossed lips as I witness the hunger present in her eyes.
Fuck.
She looks like she wants to devour me.
“Okay, thanks.” I give her a smile, but I’m seriously not interested. The look she fires me back tells me she clearly is. Ritchie ushers her out as I sigh into my hands.
“Jesus, you really are a woman magnet. I think you’re well in there.” He winks, but I can see he’s clearly joking.
“Not interested. I don’t mix business with pleasure.” It causes far too many fucking problems.
“And what about Caroline?”
“She’s there when I need her.” I avoid Ritchie’s look of disapproval.
“Could get messy,” he warns.
Annoyed, my eyes flick up to meet his. “Haven’t you got work to do? What the hell do I pay you for? You’re like a fucking fly in my ear.” I swat him away and he scowls. I just want some peace and quiet, away from his constant nagging.
“Oh, shut up. I earn my wage and you know that. I’m off to get a coffee, want one?” He stands, glaring and waiting for a response.
“Yeah, but don’t put any sugar in it this time, dickwad.”
“I told you I got distracted. Speaking of which, isn’t that Luce?”
My head snaps to the CCTV screens to find Luce chatting to Steve. He’s leaning into her in a way which causes my blood to boil. She’s dressed in tight lycra, showing off every single curve of her hot body. The jealousy swells inside as I watch his eyes drop down to her breasts the moment she looks away.
The fucker.
I jump up and head for the door.
“Where are you going? You’re not—”
Too late. I can’t wait a minute more. I hear Ritchie calling after me, but the only thing I can concentrate on is heading downstairs. I round the corner to find Steve guiding her, his hand resting on her lower back.
He’s touching her.
And I see red.
“Steve, Ritchie wants you upstairs,” I lie, hoping to get him out of the way without causing a scene.
Steve’s face drops in obvious disappointment. “Well, I was just about to—”
“Now, Steve,” I bark, giving him the ‘don’t fuck with me’ look. He gulps before heading off.
“Hey, firecracker, what are you doing here?” I ask, my voice now holding a softer tone.
Luce stares at me, confused. “Err, well, it’s a gym, so to work out, obviously. Did you not get that from my outfit?”
My eyes flick up and down her body. “Yeah, it’s leaving nothing to the imagination.”
Fuck.
My eyes are nearly out on stalks.
“Do I look fat?” She frowns, crossing her arms over her ample chest.
“Fuck, no, you’re curvy.” Her body is banging, and it kills me to tear my eyes away from her.
“So, fat then.” Her face falls and I grab her, pulling her into me.
“Sexy,” I add. Women and their weight issues. Personally, I love a woman with some curves; no one wants to bang a bag of bones.
“Are you sure, because I was going to come in my sweats.” Her voice trails off, and I see the insecurity there in her eyes.
“Firecracker, calm down. You look amazing. Now, do you want me to work out with you, show you the equipment?” I offer, trying to change the subject.
“Haven’t you got work to do? I’m sure someone else can help me. I just want to tone up. All those film nights are starting to add up.” She pats her stomach and I tip her chin to meet my amused eyes.
“I think it’s you who brings the food.”
She jerks her face away. “Fine, I know, but I like to eat when I’m watching films. I know I’ve put on a little weight. . .”
“Where at?” I ask, annoyed. Are we ever going to get away from this subject?
“Oh, shut up. We women notice these things.” She scowls. “I just want to feel good about myself.”
“Well, if—”
“Dray, Maria’s on the phone,” Ritchie cuts in, much to my annoyance.
My eyes snap to his. “Tell her I’ll ring he
r back.”
This is far more important.
“She’s going into a big meeting, so it’s either now or nothing.” He continues staring, which pisses me off even more.
“I’m fine, Dray. I can work out the machines on my own.” Luce smiles, urging me with her eyes to go, but my feet stay firmly planted.
“Simon, can you give Luce a quick intro to all the exercise equipment?” Ritchie asks, reading my mind.
Now, I’m pissed.
Simon is a born womaniser. If he wasn’t so good at his job then I’d fire him, but I know he brings in a lot of customers through his looks.
“Sure.” He grins as I tighten my knuckles.
Ritchie shoves me back in the direction of my office. I go quietly so Luce won’t ask questions, but I’m fucking angry right now.
I storm through the door and grab the phone. “Where’s Maria?” I ask in confusion, checking all the lines but finding each one empty.
“Maria didn’t call, I just said that as an excuse.” Ritchie shrugs, picking up some paperwork.
“Then why the fuck would you drag me away? I could have showed Luce the ropes.”
“Exactly,” Ritchie adds.
“What?” Now I’m even more confused.
“Just let the guys do their job, Dray. You’ve already scared off Steve with your temper. Fuck, man, you need to calm down. This obsession with Luce is beginning to get out of hand.” His words piss me off, making me sound like I’m some kind of stalker.
“Oh, fuck off. No one asked for your input,” I growl.
What the hell does he know anyway?
He inches forward. “I’m your friend. I’m just trying to make you see sense. You can be overbearing at times. She’s come in here for a workout, not to have you hovering over her, scaring away any guy who looks her way.”
“He wasn’t just looking, he was perving.” I’m on the brink of snapping Steve’s neck if he puts another foot wrong.
“And so what? She isn’t yours, so you have no say in which guy gets to be around her. It’s over-the-top the way you react when a guy looks her way. I know you like her but she doesn’t feel the same, you’ve said so yourself. Just move on, give her some breathing space.”
His words ignite my anger even more. “Yeah, I think I’ll do just that.” I jump up and grab my jacket from the coat stand in the corner.
Ritchie looks at me, confused. “What are you doing? You have a meeting in an hour.”
“Taking your advice, giving you all some breathing space. You seem to think you know it all, so you run the fucking meeting, as well. I pay you enough fucking money anyway,” I snarl, snatching up my keys and wallet.
“Dray, you need to be there. It’s not—”
“Nah, I’m out of here. Fuck the lot of you.”
I’m done.
I ignore his protests as I head for the door. My eyes quickly rest on the monitor to find Simon enjoying himself, flirting and joking away to a laughing Luce. I’m better gone anyway, away from it all. My first port of call is the forty-year-old bottle of scotch I have at home, then wherever the road takes me.
* * *
I grab an overnight bag and fill it with some clothes. Ritchie will head over once the meeting is done, so I need to be gone as soon as possible. I grab a few toiletries and the scotch and lock up. Several hours later, I’m booked in the executive suite in the Hilton, the best money can buy. If I’m going to sit and mope, might as well do it in style.
It doesn’t take long before my phone starts blowing up, so I turn it off. I’ve had enough of hearing Ritchie’s advice. If he thinks he’s so good then he can run the business himself. I click on the film section.
The Godfather.
Hell, yes.
I grab my vintage scotch, pour a glass and lie back. This is exactly the escapism I need.
* * *
I wake the next morning with a humdinger of a hangover. I lift the bottle and stare at it bleary-eyed.
Shit, I drank the whole lot.
I scrub my hand down my face and stumble to take a piss before submerging myself in the hot shower. Then I order breakfast and sit out on the balcony. It’s a cool, late spring morning, and the view is magnificent as I take in all of Manchester before me. I grab my phone and switch it on, cursing myself for doing so when it comes alive with a million messages. I have thirty missed calls from Ritchie and three from Luce. There are voice messages I choose to ignore, plus several angry texts. My breakfast arrives, and I wolf it down; it helps with the hangover. Just as I’m finishing, my phone starts to ring.
Luce.
I debate on whether to hit the ‘decline’ button but click on ‘accept’, suddenly wishing I hadn’t.
“Where the fuck have you been?” she shrieks down the phone. I wince, moving my hand away. This is not helping the headache.
“Hello to you, as well,” I croak out.
“Cut the crap, Dray. Ritchie told me you left. What the fuck is going on? I’ve been over to your place, I’ve texted you and rung several times.”
“I don’t have to answer to anyone, Luce. I’m a grown man. I can come and go as I please.”
I can do whatever the fuck I want.
“Well, excuse me for being concerned,” she replies snarkily. Her voice goes up a few more octaves, making me cringe.
I sigh in annoyance. “See, this is what I mean. I’m not your concern. In fact, I’m no one’s concern.” The truth of the matter is I’m all on my own.
“What the hell has brought this on?” She sounds pissed. I know I’m testing her patience, but right now I don’t care.
“Just leave me alone, Luce. I don’t need you checking up on me.” I answer to no one and that’s just the way I like it.
“That’s fine by me then.”
“Fine,” I snap back. She disconnects, and I toss down my phone. It bounces on the table several times before springing back to life.
Ritchie.
He can go fuck himself; I’m not in the mood to speak to him. I let it ring out and instantly hear the voice message ping. I grab my stuff and head to checkout.
Back to reality.
Chapter Five
“Oh, so you are alive then,” Ritchie announces the moment I walk through the door. He’s sitting at my desk, which automatically gets my back up.
“Yep, looks like it,” I bark, stating the obvious.
“Still sulking, I see.” He smiles, and I want to punch him.
“Fuck you.”
“The meeting went well. I covered for you, since you didn’t ask.”
I hang up my jacket and pour a cup of coffee. He moves from my seat to stand beside me.
“Is that all?” I ask. I’ve already had enough of his wisecracks today.
“Dray—”
“I want to be alone today. Put a sign up outside saying, ‘do not disturb’. And that includes you.”
His face drops at my abrupt tone. “Oh, come on. Let’s talk about this.”
“I think you’ve said enough.”
I don’t want to hear another word.
He leans his hands on my desk and pushes his face close to mine. “What, do you not like hearing a few home truths?”
“Walk away while you still have a job,” I warn. He’ll be spark out on the floor if he pushes it further.
“Fine, sulk some more, but I won’t let you wallow for long.” He slams the door behind him, and I welcome the silence. I sit back, rub my hands down my face and sigh.
How did life become this complicated?
Women.
* * *
It’s two-thirty and my stomach rumbles, but I refuse to leave this room. I’ve had my fill of coffee; I need something more substantial, but I’m not in the mood to face anyone. The door opens and my eyes flick up as Ritchie walks in with a chicken salad and smoothie. He says nothing, simply popping the food onto the desk before leaving.
I smile as I devour the contents, washing it down with the smoothie. I needed that
. I’ve got to stop being a pussy and get back out there. Ritchie is right. Maybe I should organise a lads’ night?
I head downstairs and sure enough, Ritchie’s there, hovering by reception. He shoots me a look and I give him a chin lift. He smirks, the fucker, then walks over.
“How did it all go yesterday?” I ask.
“So now you want to know, huh?” He smirks again.
“Shut it.”
“It went fine. We had to do a little negotiation, but we got the price we wanted. Delivery will be here next week,” he says smiling, looking proud.
“Glad you didn’t balls it up then.” I try to hide the smirk, but it’s useless. I can always depend on Ritch, but I never praise him; I wouldn’t want his head growing too much.
“Well, I am second in charge. You can trust me with a little responsibility by now. Let me know if you need to make any other sudden disappearances,” he adds sarcastically.
“Whatever, dickwad.” I shove him playfully.
“How about coming over tonight? Laurie’s making lasagne and the United game is on. Couple of beers, we could make a night of it. What do you think?”
“I guess I can dumb down and watch it on your small TV.”
“It’s fucking sixty-inch, that’s not small,” he snaps.
“It is compared to mine.”
“Oh, shut it, Mister Millionaire. Size doesn’t always matter.” We both chuckle together like fucking school kids.
“Thanks,” I say.
“You’re welcome.”
I playfully kick him and he laughs.
Things are back to normal.
“It will be nice to see Laurie, haven’t seen her in a while.” She’s like the big sister I never had. I would do anything for that woman.
“She misses you, man, always asks. I sometimes wonder if I should be worried.” Ritchie winks, but we all know she’s only ever had eyes for him. Plus, I’d never look at her in that way.
“It’s my charm. The ladies can’t help themselves,” I brag, smirking back.
“Fuck off. So should I tell her you’re coming over later?”