by Karis Walsh
“We’ve practiced this week,” she said, adding her usual warning. “You might not be able to tell, but we worked every day.”
“I believe you, don’t worry. Let’s start with getting him to sit,” Crystal said with a laugh. It was a nice laugh, but it didn’t resonate through Paige’s body like Kassidy’s had.
You still want me.
“Do not,” Paige muttered to herself. She pointed at Dante’s hind end and commanded him to sit. He twisted around and looked over his shoulder as if he thought she was pointing out a treat he had missed that was somewhere on the ground behind him.
“Maybe we should try with the clicker again,” Crystal said. “Just be sure to keep it out of reach this time.”
Twenty minutes later, Crystal gave in and let them loose on the course. Dante seemed to have the terms over and under confused in his mind, because he usually tried to do the opposite of what was required. Finally, he ran into the tunnel and didn’t come out the other side.
“He’s like a kid in a blanket fort,” Crystal said as they stood at either end of the tunnel and called for him to come out. “He seems to value his alone time.”
Hey, just like me!
Paige rubbed her temples and pushed her hands through her hair. How was she ever going to get her imaginary Kassidy to leave her alone like the real woman had been so damned eager to do? She looked up and saw Crystal watching her mess up her hair.
“I don’t suppose you’d want to meet for coffee sometime?” Crystal asked. “Or maybe lunch?”
No!
Paige ignored Kassidy’s voice and smiled at Crystal. Maybe she was the answer to the question Paige had just been asking herself.
“I’d love to,” she said.
Chapter Twenty
“I can’t believe you left without me.”
“We weren’t even supposed to leave Corvallis until an hour from now, yet somehow you’re already here. Seems you were planning to leave without me, too. You’re just mad because I got here first.”
Kassidy sighed, trying to ignore the bickering twins. She had thought they were planning to drive to the farm together this afternoon, but apparently each of them had tried to get an early start. Kyle had won, with the prize being the guest cottage for the weekend. Kassidy didn’t think the cottage was enough of an upgrade from the comfortable guest rooms in the main house, so she chalked it up to twin rivalry. Kyle had arrived not long after dawn, which meant Kayla would try to be even earlier the next time they came for a visit.
“Well, you’re both here now, so stop fighting and help me.”
Kassidy handed each of them a roll of barricade tape. “We need to string these along all the paths. I’ve already put stakes in the ground, so wrap the tape around each one to make a barrier.”
“Did you steal this from a hunter?” Kyle pulled on the end of the bright orange tape.
“Why does it say crime scene on it?” Kayla asked.
“I wanted it to be noticeable, and this is all I could find. It will be easy to see, even when it starts to get dark.”
She pushed them toward the west field and headed in the opposite direction. Their continued argument receded into the background as she put her house between them, and suddenly she was alone in the middle of a quiet field. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this isolated on the farm, surrounded by plants and no people. The farm was closed to give her time to prepare for the next day’s festival, and she had left the cottage unrented during the event for one of the twins to use, although she could easily have tripled her usual rates this weekend.
She sighed again. It seemed to have become her expression of choice. Sighs of irritation when tourists annoyed her, yet she had to keep smiling at them. Sighs of relief when the farm was closed for the night, and whoever was staying in the guest cottage had finally gone to bed.
And sighs of heartsickness whenever she thought of Paige. Those sighs seemed to occur at an alarming rate of one per minute. She worried she might hyperventilate from them. It had been two months since Kassidy had driven Paige away, and she wasn’t showing any signs of forgetting her.
The tourists and houseguests were challenging for her, but they kept her busy enough to get through the days without wallowing. Nights were another matter, especially when Kassidy knew she could have had Paige with her right now, helping her get ready for tomorrow’s first annual Lavender Lane Farm Festival.
She tied the end of her orange tape to a stake and started walking along the edge of the path, clearly separating her rows of plants from careless feet and grubby hands. She smiled when she imagined what Paige would say to her right now when she, on the eve of her first festival, was spending more time barricading her lavender than decorating the booths for the fair.
Once she finished her row, she wandered back to the area between the house and the drying shed where most of the festivities would take place. Her shop would be open, even though she still mainly had craft items for sale, as well as some baked goods and packets of culinary items she had made, all featuring her lavender. She had powdered lemonade that just needed water added, a homemade Herbes de Provence blend, and jars of lavender sugar for baking. She let herself see the future through Paige’s eyes and pictured her store full of other things, too, including her own honey and perfume, and a display of her very own cookbook.
The future store would be well stocked, but the present one was a little sparse. Luckily, the fifty local vendors she had invited would more than fill the empty spaces. Her friends had been supportive of all her recent projects, and they had enthusiastically accepted the invitation to be part of her new event. There were also craft tables and carnival games for the kids. A temporary pen housed a small petting zoo consisting of three goats and a miniature donkey, because Kassidy wasn’t missing Paige enough and needed to torture herself with reminders of Paige’s recommendation that she get goats. Kayla had brought the little menagerie with her, and Kassidy liked having them here as long as it wasn’t on a permanent basis. They looked ready to do more damage than Dante if they happened to break out of the pen.
Kassidy went over to her porch and rested her hand on the back of the chair where Paige had been sitting when she asked her out to dinner. Most likely, Paige was dating someone else by now. She was too wonderful and vivacious to be alone for long, especially when she had a city full of women at her fingertips. Kassidy had eaten at Sarai’s a few times since their night together, braving the pain of memories for the chance of getting information about Paige. Sarai didn’t say much, except for the brief mention of an Irish dog trainer the last time Kassidy had been at the restaurant. Kassidy had barely made it to the privacy of her bedroom before she was crying and raging about the blasted woman who was probably bribing Dante with treats and using his affection to snare Paige.
Kassidy shook off the memories and hauled her patio furniture to the back of the cottage. Some local musicians would set up here, entertaining the crowds as they wandered through the one area Kassidy hadn’t cordoned off and picked their own lavender.
The twins got back to the house soon after, and Kyle held up the empty spools from the tape.
“We ran out at the top of the hill, but there aren’t many rows beyond where we stopped. Those plants should be fine.”
Kassidy put her hands on her hips and looked at the orange line stretching from near the greenhouse to the hill. “Do you think it’s too late to hire armed guards to patrol the paths? I wasn’t thinking, Kayla. I should have had you bring some guard dogs to protect the fields instead of animals that might eat them if they get loose.”
Kyle and Kayla exchanged the look they shared when they were worried about the way she was acting. Did they think she didn’t notice?
“I’m fine,” she said, emphasizing the word. “I’m just nervous.”
“You’ve done amazing things with the farm, K,” Kyle said. “You’re allowed to be a little paranoid about the plants after coming this far, from living here on your own
to hosting a festival this big.”
“Thank you,” Kassidy said. She felt the ache of tears in the back of her eyes just for a moment. Not because of his praise, which was nice to hear, but because every damned thing she did on the farm was connected to Paige. Kassidy had spent several days determined to find other options besides the ones Paige had presented. She had even tried to keep the same themes Paige had used but change the details. She hadn’t been able to come up with better options, and she wasn’t going to let the farm down because she missed Paige. So she had implemented every step of the proposal, even though each one made a jagged cut on her barely healing heart. Now she saw Paige in every corner of her farm. She couldn’t go anywhere without seeing a reminder of Paige and hearing a voice-over in her head about why the improvement in question was necessary.
“What do you want us to do now?
Kassidy looked across the yard. Tomorrow it would be full of color and noise and people, set against the deep purple and pink blooms of the summer lavender. She was surprised to realize the thought of it was no longer giving her the dry heaves. Paige would have been proud.
“We still need to hang decorations on the booths, and set up the craft tables, but we can finish later. Let’s go get dinner first.”
* * *
Kassidy sank onto her living room couch. She kept running through a checklist in her mind, but everything seemed to be in order. The twins had helped her get the last of the decorations put up, and the only thing left to do was wait until the chaos of arriving vendors descended on them in the morning. And then her fair would be open for business.
She felt a thrill of excitement, tempered by the desire to get in her car and drive through the night until she found more barricade tape for the upper hill. Next year, she was buying a dozen extra rolls, just in case.
Kayla came into the room with two cups of tea and handed her one. Kassidy thanked her sister and breathed in the soothing blend of chamomile and lavender before taking a sip of the scalding liquid.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” Kayla asked, settling beside her on the couch, near enough for their shoulders to touch. Kayla was the least demonstrative of the three siblings, and Kassidy knew she was worried if she was sitting this close.
“With what?” she asked, even though she had a feeling this was connected to Paige somehow. She wanted to change the subject, or go hide in her room, but she didn’t. The desire to talk about Paige was far too tempting to ignore. She had come up obliquely in conversations with Sarai, Jessica, and Drew, but otherwise Kassidy didn’t have anyone she could confide in about how awful she’d felt since Paige left.
“What happened with Paige,” Kayla clarified, as Kassidy had expected. “After we spent the weekend with the two of you, Kyle and I were saying how we’d never seen you laugh and smile as much as you did with her. Now, you seem sad without her. Did she do something to hurt you? Because we can—”
Kassidy patted Kayla’s thigh to stop her from issuing whatever threat she and Kyle had dreamed up for Paige. “It wasn’t her fault. She told me she wanted to give our relationship a chance to work. She even scheduled some jobs around us, so she’d be in McMinnville more often. I told her I was fine with a one-night stand, but I didn’t want more.”
Kayla choked on her tea.
“Are you laughing? I just poured out my confession, and you’re laughing at me?”
“I’m sorry. It’s just…” Kayla set down her mug and wiped her eyes. “You’re the last person on earth I’d pick as one-night stand material. You sound awkward saying the phrase, let alone doing the deed.”
Kassidy shoved Kayla’s shoulder in mock anger, but she was holding back laughter because Kayla was right about her. “It’s not an option I normally would choose,” she admitted. “I just wanted her enough to take what I could get.”
“But not enough to give a relationship with her a chance? Even when she was making such an effort to be with you?”
“I wanted her too much for that.” Kassidy shook her head, frustrated by her inability to explain the emotions she had been keeping inside for too long. “You don’t know what happened with Audrey. She’d heard the stories about what it was like living with Mom, how she’d be talking to me one minute, then withdraw the next, often for days. How hard I tried to draw her pictures and show her my good report cards and take care of the house, hoping she’d look out of her prison and actually see me. Audrey did the same thing whenever we fought. She used that pain against me, and after hours or days of it, I’d turn into that little girl again, begging for her to come back to me.”
“Wow.” Kayla wrapped her arm over Kassidy’s shoulders and leaned back on the couch, holding Kassidy close. “I didn’t know what had happened with you and Audrey, but the breakup wasn’t a surprise to either of us. I’m sorry she treated you like that, but I’m proud of you for figuring out what was wrong and getting out of the relationship.”
“Thank you,” Kassidy said. She put her head on Kayla’s shoulder, and then raised it again. “Wait, why did you think we’d break up? I thought you liked Audrey.”
Kayla shrugged and made a meh sort of sound. “She was okay, but you didn’t seem to like her. To be honest, I thought you were the one who withdrew from her. You do that with a lot of people, until you get to know and trust them. That’s why it seemed so different with Paige. You were present with her, and you had just met.”
Kassidy sat upright. “I withdrew?” She searched desperately through her memories of prolonged fights with Audrey, wondering if it was possible that Audrey had sometimes shut down because Kassidy already had. As a response instead of an intended punishment. “I have to protect myself,” she said, explaining herself even though she wasn’t convinced that Kayla’s assessment was accurate. She needed to think about this more, to force herself to relive some of those fights and understand if she had been partly to blame and not the innocent victim she had always thought she was.
“No, you don’t,” said Kayla. “You have to love, and hurt, and laugh, and cry. If you spend your life protecting yourself, you’ll never feel anything, either good or bad.”
Kassidy curled up against Kayla again. She had tried to protect herself from loving Paige, and all she had gotten was the hurt and the tears, with none of the laughter and joy Paige seemed to spread around her. Kassidy and the twins had often talked about how different their perceptions of their family life were, since the two of them had never known a life other than the one in which Kassidy was their tiny parent, while their real Mom and Dad were rarely emotionally present, even on the rare occasions when they were physically so.
It was easy for Kayla to tell Kassidy to stop shutting down and allow herself to face the potential of being hurt, but it was much more difficult for Kassidy to let go of the past and follow the advice. She had managed to open her life to Paige, allowing her onto the farm and into her personal and business affairs. Her life had definitely become fuller and richer because of it. Maybe it was worthwhile for Kassidy to open her heart to Paige, as well.
Unless, of course, the mysterious dog trainer had beat her to it.
Chapter Twenty-one
Paige had to park almost a quarter mile from the place where she had stopped and gotten her first glimpse of Lavender Lane Farm. Now, the border shrubs along the road were full of extravagant blooms and had grown nearly as tall as her. Two large garden flags with the farm’s logo and a sheaf of lavender woven on them flanked the farm’s sign, and a dozen placards advertising the festival were placed along the main road, pointing tourists in the direction of the farm. She had seen the signs advertising Kassidy’s festival around McMinnville—and, if she was being honest, on the farm’s website where she had established herself as a pathetic lurker.
She hadn’t planned on coming, but Kassidy had sent her an email about it last night. Nothing personal or swoon-inducing. Just a link to the festival’s web page. Before she could stop herself, Paige had inferred a lifetime of love from the
single line of the email.
She had never considered herself to be a romantic, hopeless or otherwise, so her willingness to pack Dante in the car and drive to the farm because of a non-invite was another example of how much she had changed because of Kassidy.
Paige kept Dante carefully under control as she joined several groups of people walking from the distant parking spots to the farm’s entrance. The turnout was even better than she had imagined when she had suggested the annual festival in her proposal, and she found herself scanning the area for better parking options for next year, unable to fully disconnect the consultant part of her brain.
She was about to deliver a mental lecture to herself about not having high expectations from the day, or any expectations at all, when she and Dante turned onto the driveway, just past the last of the high shrubs, and she saw the farm laid out in front of her. She heard her own gasp echoed in the crowds around her. The plants that had seemed beautiful and serene in the spring had transformed into lavender with attitude. With a capital A. Vibrant shades spanning from pale pink to rich indigo spread across the acreage in tidy rows, bordered by glimpses of silver-green leaves and lines of black from the landscape fabric. Paige understood Kassidy’s love for this place more profoundly now, and she was glad Kassidy had opened the farm to tourists. This place was too glorious not to share.
People were wandering along the farm’s paths, the same ones Kassidy and Paige had followed during her tour, and once Paige’s eyes recovered from being drunk on color, she noticed strips of garish orange on the trails. Instead of heading to the heart of the festival, she veered off toward the greenhouse and found a wooden stake at the start of the trail, with a ribbon of crime scene tape tied around it.
Paige put her hands on her knees and laughed until she could barely breathe. Of all the decorative choices anyone could have made, this one was the most perfectly Kassidy. Paige was certain that if so much as a petal was damaged during the festival, Kassidy would be in full CSI mode, dusting for fingerprints and searching for clues with a large magnifying glass.