by Jane Henry
Heidi's smile was brilliant. "You're right. I know you're right. I sometimes just can't believe it, you know? I have to pinch myself."
She paused as Nicole came back and set down their drinks.
"I just can't believe that this time last year, I was living in Portland, working sixteen hour days and thinking I was happy. I had no clue," Heidi finished, shaking her head.
Hillary forced a smile. A year ago, Hillary had still been a sweet, innocent senior in college, daydreaming about romance and how great things would be once she got to start her adult life. She'd had no clue, either.
"It'll be that way for you," Heidi predicted. "This time next year, you'll be saying the same thing."
Hillary shook her head and toyed with the rim of her sangria glass—an enormous beer stein, as requested—before taking a large sip.
She couldn't imagine what would be happening this time next year. She couldn't imagine what would be happening with her and Matteo next week for goodness sake.
"So, I knocked on your door yesterday and you didn't answer," Heidi said, watching Hillary carefully.
Crap. Hillary had been afraid of that. "Oh?" she said lightly. "I must've been at work."
"At the restaurant? At 8:00 AM?" Heidi asked, grilling her like a Law and Order prosecutor who'd gotten a suspicious witness on the stand. Jeez.
"Oh, you meant in the morning." Hillary tried to shrug casually. "I think that must've been when I ran to the store. You must've just missed me." She quieted her conscience with the knowledge that she wasn't lying, exactly—she had run to the store at about that time yesterday. She just hadn't been to her apartment at all.
"Do you go to the store every morning?" Heidi asked. "Because I knocked on your door the day before, too, and you weren't there."
Hillary widened her eyes. "Well, I can't remember where I was Thursday morning. Yeesh. I wasn't aware I'd need an alibi. I've been busy."
"And then," Heidi continued as if Hillary hadn't spoken. "I realized I hadn't seen your car all day Thursday."
Hillary narrowed her eyes. Really? "Heids, I appreciate you wanting to keep an eye on me, but I'm an adult—"
Heidi talked over her. "So when I knocked and you didn't answer yesterday, I decided to use my key and let myself in."
Hillary's eyes widened in horror and no small amount of anger. "Are you kidding me? You broke in to my apartment?"
"I was concerned," Heidi defended. "All of this stuff has been happening, and I… I was really worried."
Hillary sighed, her anger evaporating as she heard the tremor of real fear in her sister's voice. "You heard about Marauder?" she asked.
"Wait, you heard about Marauder?" Heidi asked. "Because I thought Dom said that he and Matt had decided to shield you from all this, which I did not agree with," she added quickly, seeing Hillary's face. "But I knew they had your best interests at heart."
Hillary rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I don't think Matteo intended to tell me. I just happened to overhear a conversation between him and Dom at your wedding shower," she confessed. "So I kinda figured it out."
Heidi's eyes widened. "Oh, shit."
Hillary nodded. "Mm-hmm. Matt was not pleased."
"That explains a lot," Heidi mumbled, nodding to herself.
"What do you mean?" Hillary asked.
Heidi hesitated, then waved her hand dismissively. "Never mind. Tell me what you heard."
Hillary shrugged and told her sister everything she had learned the previous week, including the mysterious appearance of the gift at the shower.
"God, I had no idea he sent you a gift," Heidi breathed, her eyes wide. "That makes it so much creepier."
Hillary nodded. "So, Matteo's been extra vigilant," she told Heidi. "Making sure I get rides wherever I go, asking Tony to give me some time off work, that kind of thing. He's a good guy."
"Of course," Heidi agreed. "Dom's been the same way with me. Especially after all the stuff that happened at The Club the other night, and the flowers."
Hillary frowned. "Flowers? What flowers?"
Heidi's eyes widened. "Oh, damn. You didn't know about the flowers?" She bit her lip as though deciding whether to continue.
"Heidi!" Hillary demanded.
"Fine, fine. Someone sent you flowers the other day, and you didn't answer the bell. The delivery guy didn't want to leave them out in the heat, so he rang our bell to see if he could leave them with us. When Dom saw the card, he called Matteo," Heidi explained. "I don't know what the message was, but they were from… him."
Marauder had sent her flowers?
"And no one told me," Hillary said flatly.
"Well, they wanted to protect you, obviously!" Heidi exclaimed. "That's just the way these guys are. You can't stop the sun from shining, and you can't stop an Angelico from protecting the women he loves. And don't be pissy about it, Hillie, because I know you get that."
Hillary blew out a breath. She was pissy. In fact, she was furious. How nice for Matteo that he got to make all the decisions—he decided what she needed to know and when; he decided when he kissed her and when she'd have a freakin' orgasm. It was all so one-sided!
She was supposed to give him her trust, and she wanted to! But was she supposed to trust his words, when he told her that their relationship was platonic and their moments of heart-stopping connection could "never happen again"? Or should she trust the heat in his eyes, the absolute focus and devotion she felt when he let himself be with her completely, the way he had this morning? How could she trust him when she didn't understand his motives?
"Don't you ever just want to scream?" Hillary demanded. "They can be so high-handed and bossy and controlled. Just once, I'd like to read his mind, to know what he's really thinking."
Heidi smiled triumphantly. "Now we're getting somewhere," she said. "You sound exactly like I felt when Dom and I first got together."
Hillary caught herself. Shit! What had she said?
"You ought to know a couple more pieces of information," Heidi told Hillary, sipping her drink calmly. "I've already mostly guessed that you've been staying with Matteo."
Hillary's eyes widened. Crap.
Heidi held up a handed and counted off on her fingers. "First, from what I saw in your apartment, you haven't been home in days. Second, he's been chauffeuring you all around town. Third, when I called you to set up this lunch date the other day, I distinctly heard the Sox game in the background—I recognized it well, since it was already playing in my own living room—and Hillie, you don't watch baseball."
Hillary knew how a deer in headlights must feel. Should she deny it?
Heidi seemed to read her mind. "Don't bother denying it. That'll just make me mad," she said.
Hillary sighed.
"The other day, after the shower, I left my phone at your place," Heidi reminded Hillary. "So I came back to get it."
She had? Oh, right. She vaguely remembered Matt saying that while she'd been standing in the corner. "Okay," Hillary agreed warily.
Heidi smirked. "Perhaps a different person wouldn't have noticed the distinct sound of your butt being spanked up against the front door of your apartment, but I know that sound, Hillie."
Hillary felt herself flush bright red. "Oh, God," she moaned, burying her face in her hands.
Heidi giggled. "So, let me ask you again," she said. "Anything you'd like to talk about with your big sister?"
"He—Matteo—he's my…uh. Gosh," she stammered, taking a huge gulp of her fruity drink. "This is harder to talk about than I would have thought."
It was Heidi's turn to reach across the table and take Hillary's hand.
"He's your dominant," Heidi guessed.
Hillary watched her warily, but didn't deny it.
Heidi nodded as if this were confirmation. "I figured. Dom is gonna lose his mind," she said, snickering and shaking her head.
Hillary's eyes widened. "You can't tell him! Heidi, you can't! It'll ruin everything! Matteo said no one could know!"
>
Heidi's eyes grew wary. "I don't keep things from Dom, Hillie. I can't. You know that."
"But… what if you just suspected something, and didn't know for sure. Are you required to share every suspicion with him?"
Heidi looked skeptical. "I guess not," she said slowly.
"So… let's say there was this hypothetical case," Hillary said.
"Oh, Lord," Heidi groaned.
"Just listen. Let's say that a person, a submissive person, thought she really wanted to find a dominant. Okay?"
"Okaaay," Heidi agreed warily.
"And let's say that a, um, friend who was a dominant offered to help that submissive in her search."
Heidi snorted. "Right! Because there's no conflict of interest there!"
Hillary frowned. "What?"
Heidi waved a hand for her to continue.
"Okay, well let's say that friend wasn't able to help the submissive and offered to dom her himself…"
Heidi smiled. "Uh-huh. That would not surprise me in the slightest."
"Platonically," Hillary finished.
Heidi choked on a sip of her drink. "Platonically?"
Hillary nodded.
Heidi's eyes got even wider. "Okay, that is surprising," she admitted. "I swear I've seen Matteo look at you like…"
"Like he wants more?" Hillary said glumly. "Yeah. Well, Matteo is an amazing dominant, but he kinda sucks at the 'staying platonic' thing. There have been a couple of, um… you know."
Heidi nodded. She stabbed a piece of lettuce with her fork and chewed it thoughtfully. "The platonic dominant-submissive thing always seemed like one of those concepts that works in theory, but isn't so good in practice. In order for D/s to really work, there has to be a certain level of trust and focus, and it's hard to achieve that without an emotional connection. Plus, you know," she said, leaning closer and whispering, "spankings are freakin' hot." Heidi wiggled her eyebrows.
Hillary laughed and shook her head. "You don't need to tell me!"
Heidi smiled. "So, then… why did you want things to be platonic?"
Hillary grimaced. "Well… I didn't. Not at all, really. This was his idea. I would've been fine with, you know, the real thing. In fact, I want it so badly I can't even tell you. But… I figured out a while ago that I don't just want a dominant, I want Matteo. And this is what he wants. Dom-with-benefits. So I figured I'd take what I could get. I mean, I'm supposed to submit, right?"
Hillary took another deep gulp of her drink, feeling the cold and the alcohol rush to her head, and welcoming it.
"Heck, no!" Heidi said, outraged. "Consistently ignoring your own needs isn't submission! It's a recipe for disaster. Trust me on this one. And what does Matteo say when you talk to him about it? What's his rationale?"
"Heidi, I haven't said anything to him about this!" Hillary said. "Can you even imagine how that conversation would go? 'Gee, Matteo, I wish you'd sleep with me!' No way! He'd run for the hills. I keep waiting for it."
Heidi deflated. "Hillary, that's ridiculous. You have to talk to him. D/s only works if you're totally honest about communicating your needs. Matteo knows that. And frankly, I'm more than a little upset at him. He should be checking in with you, seeing where your head is at. I can only imagine he's distracted with all the other stuff going on…"
Hillary swallowed, near tears. "I'm frustrated," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "Sexually and emotionally. One minute he's kissing me like I'm the most important thing in the world, and the next minute I can practically feel a wall between us. I'm getting emotional whiplash!"
"I can imagine," Heidi agreed. She leaned across the table and whispered, too. "And no sex? Whatsoever?"
"Nope," Hillary said. "At least, not with me." And wasn't that an awful thought? "He has been hanging out at The Club a lot, though."
"Well, that's only because of the plan to catch Marauder, obviously!" Heidi soothed her in a low voice. "I mean, Dom said Master Blake and the guys have been putting things in place for days to exterminate that jerk and his nasty little minions. But now that Blake's wife was able to hack the email from Marauder and they know he's planning something at The Club tomorrow night, it'll only be a matter of time before they have enough evidence to bring charges against him! By the time I walk down the aisle, they'll have enough to put Marauder in jail, and then Matteo will be able to focus on your relationship! At least Matteo had better focus on it!"
Hillary felt her jaw drop and she shook her head dumbly.
"What plan, Heidi? What are you talking about?"
Heidi's eyes widened as she realized that she'd spilled the beans again. "No! Hillary!" she wailed. "You said you knew about the club!"
"I knew about the stuff Marauder did, not some plan to stop him! Spill it!" Hillary demanded.
Heidi shook her head vehemently. "No! Nope. I'm going to shut my mouth, finally."
"Heidi, you've got to tell me! Matteo won't!"
"No, I don't, sweetie," Heidi said, not without sympathy. "In fact, I think not telling you is the best thing I can do for you. You've got to find a way to talk to Matteo about this stuff. You've got to be able to trust him. You've been trying to deal with all of this stuff on your own—processing your fears about Marauder, and about your relationship. That's the opposite of what you need to do. You're blaming Matt for not knowing what he wants from your relationship. But, Hillie, you need to decide what you want."
Heidi's cell phone rang, and Hillary saw Dom's name on the display. "Gotta take this," Heidi said with a wink as she answered. Hillary nodded and heard her sister's soft "Hey, honey," as she stood up and walked toward the lobby.
Hillary toyed with her salad, pondering what Heidi had said. Was she doing the same thing she'd been blaming Matteo for? Had she been guilty of keeping her distance?
Nicole appeared at her elbow and set a small glass down in front of her, smiling like a Cheshire cat. The drink was a bright reddish-orange color, and didn't look like anything Hillary had ever had before.
Hillary smiled and shook her head in confusion. "I didn't order this," she told Nicole.
"I know! A guy at the bar ordered it for you, asked me to bring it to you along with this note! He's super cute, Hillie!" she squealed, wide-eyed.
A guy at the bar?
Hillary turned around and scanned the bar area, which was almost deserted at this hour of the day.
There was a portly guy with balding hair, and two older women. Definitely no cute guys.
"Where is he?" Hillary asked.
Nicole turned. "Over… huh. He's gone. That's weird," she said with a shrug. Then, regaining her enthusiasm, she handed Hillary a folded-up cocktail napkin. "Maybe he wants to remain mysterious!"
She gave Hillary a wink and left.
Hillary's neck prickled with foreboding as she scanned every table in the restaurant. No one who looked like Marauder. But suddenly she felt exposed and vulnerable.
She unfolded the note and scanned the contents.
Oh, God.
Hope you like this drink, bitch. It's called a Redheaded Slut. I thought it was appropriate, though I've gotta say, I like you as a blonde.
Your sister's almost as sexy as you are. When I finally get to fuck you, I'm gonna let her watch.—M.
Sweet Jesus.
Marauder had been here. Here in Tony's restaurant.
She needed to find Heidi and get out of here, get somewhere safe. But where was she safe when Marauder knew where she lived and he knew where she worked?
With shaking hands, Hillary took her cell phone from her purse and punched in a number. She stood up from the table on shaking legs and grabbed her purse, her heart racing, and made her way toward Heidi.
Matteo answered on the first ring.
"Honey," she whispered. "I need you."
Whatever doubts she had about what was between them, Matteo would keep her safe. That was one thing she would never doubt.
Chapter Eight
It had been Hillary's voice on t
he phone. It hadn't been someone from the hospital, or Heidi, or someone else calling and telling him she'd been in an accident.
It was Hillary's voice on the phone. And if her voice was the one on the phone, then she had to be okay.
At least that's what he told himself, over and over, as he sped toward Cara.
Maybe her mom had been hurt, or… or she'd gotten a book contract, or something exciting like that. Or maybe she'd made a mistake and bounced a check and needed some help... God, something normal that everyday people struggled with.
Then why had her voice been hushed and shaky?
Goddammit, he never should've let her go out alone without protection.
Hillary was strong and capable, and wouldn't have called him unless something was wrong. The adrenaline surged through him as he took the final turn into the parking lot of Cara, and screeched to a halt, slamming the door and shoving his keys in his pocket. He stalked through the front door—it would be quicker than navigating through the teeming kitchen—and quickly scanned the crowd. There she was, sitting with Heidi in the corner. Heidi was on the phone, and Hillary's eyes were wide and panicked as she gripped Heidi's hand, and even from where he was, he could see the utter terror on Hillary's face.
He could kill the bastard who put that look in those beautiful eyes of hers.
She got to her feet when he walked through the door, and her eyes said everything—the immediate relief upon seeing him, her little hands instinctively pulling away from Heidi and reaching for him. He got to her in three long strides and the hell with Heidi and Tony and the whole fucking establishment of Cara seeing him, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead fiercely. She wrapped her arms around him, and a small gasp escaped.