by Anna Antonia
His perfect mouth lifted in an imperfect smile. “It sounds crazy, doesn’t it? You’re afraid of pain so I give it to you. In spades because your pain tolerance is freakishly high—not that I’m complaining.”
I squeezed his palm. “If you control it then it can’t control me.”
“Exactly.”
“And then I can face my fear and overcome it.”
“Give Emma a gold star.” Gabriel brushed a kiss across my cheek. “So how does all that apply to our current situation?”
That was the question. I didn’t really know and admitted as much.
“Let me control this too, Emma. I’ll handle Lucas and I’ll handle Gordon Industries. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right even if I have to walk away from everything.”
My comfort disappeared like a puff of smoke. I became agitated all over again.
“But that’s the problem! I don’t want you to have to do that!”
“It’s my choice,” he answered gently. “As much as I love you, Emma, you don’t get to decide this for me.”
“But you wouldn’t do it if you weren’t being forced to.”
“I’m not being forced if it’s my choice.”
His calmness made me sound irrational. “Gabriel, I can’t just sit on the sidelines about this. That’s not how I’m built.”
“Yes, I know. You can’t let anyone sacrifice for you.”
“Exactly! I can’t let you do that.”
“Oh, my love. Here’s the thing—you’re not letting me do anything, Emma. It’s my choice.”
“Will you stop saying that?” I growled, frustrated by his stubborn nobility.
“Emma, aren’t you forgetting something? My space, my rules.”
I looked over at him in mild annoyance. “What’s the point of warning me? It’s not like you’re going to do anything about it.”
Yes, I was being bitchy and not just because Gabriel was being incredibly noble.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that, love.”
Gabriel’s purr rubbed against me the right way. It made me want to goad him further. I turned away and looked out the window instead.
“Emma, you’re pouting.”
“I’m not. I’m just frustrated because you’re not listening to me.”
“Because I won’t choose my company over you? Sorry, but I’m not sorry about that.”
How could I make him understand? “You’re willing to turn your back on everything of your own free will? Your work, your employees, your uncle. Especially him?”
Gabriel calm voice underscored my out-of-control tone. “I’m not willing to let Lucas take you away from me. I don’t know how much more clear I can make that for you. But if you want to keep arguing the point, by all means keep going.”
“He’s the only father figure you have, Gabriel. I’m not going to help drive a wedge between you.”
Silence and then “Shouldn’t you be happy that I’d be willing to cut him out of my life for you?”
“No! I’d never want that.”
“Why?”
“Because you love him. That’s why. He loves you. That’s why. Your mom loves you both. That’s why.” My eyes filled again with stupid tears. I wondered if I’d be crying for the rest of the night.
“Emma, look at me.”
I shook my head, not wanting Gabriel to see me cry yet again.
“Now.” His tone frosted. My lover clearly expected me to obey. I repeated my defiance and turned my back further.
“Emma. Please.”
Ouch. The one word that could get me to do anything for Gabriel. Steeling myself, I faced him and waited.
Gabriel wasted no time. He cupped my face with his warm hands and rubbed his thumbs across my wet cheeks. “Emma, you’re so special. Do you know that? You try to keep everyone at a distance but your heart is this big. How do you stand it? It must be very difficult.”
I laughed, watery and broken. “I can’t stand it. It’s terrible way to live. You should just take me out back, shoot me, and put me out of my misery.”
“Nah. I’m far too selfish to do that.” Gabriel feathered his mouth over mine. “You’re the sweetest girl I’ve ever known and I thank God everyday that you’ve come back to me.”
“I never would’ve left you, Gabriel. Not if it wasn’t for this stuff with Lucas—”
“I know, baby.” He exhaled, gaze darkened with an overflow of emotion. “I’m fucked up and have a completely messed up family, but you’re right. We do love each other and I don’t want to lose them. Thank you so much for seeing that and making me face it. It’s true that I would’ve regretted it forever if I cut Lucas out of my life.”
My heart, tender and neglected as it’d been for so long, warmed from his thanks even as it simultaneously turned cold. I didn’t know if I should smile or keep crying. So I did both.
“That’s good, Gabriel. You need family. They’re important.” And it was, even if it was Lucas Gordon.
My thoughts must have showed on my face because Gabriel said, “Listen to me, Emma. I won’t give up on us. On all of us.”
“I know you won’t.” Whether it would do anything in the end was yet to be determined. From what I’d seen, Lucas’s tenacity matched Gabriel’s. Neither would be willing to give up.
All I knew was that I couldn’t do this again. Maybe if I’d never seen Gabriel again, maybe I could’ve kept my word to Lucas and built up a life. Now? No way.
“You’re going to be my wife, Emma Adams. I promise you.”
I closed my eyes. “You keep throwing little hints like that with no follow through and they’ll lose their effectiveness. Eventually you’ll ask me and I won’t pay it any mind.”
Gabriel chuckled. “Duly noted.”
I waited for him to speak some more. Instead, Gabriel kissed each eyelid before moving down my face. It felt so beautifully intimate and sacred.
“Emma, spend the night with me.”
I started, not expecting him to ask that of me. I thought it was assumed that I wouldn’t be parted from him so easily again, especially from his bed. “Where?” I immediately thought of his family’s house before remembering that it was sold within the year after Gabriel’s father died.
His gaze twinkled. “Does it matter where? Will that affect your answer?”
“No, it doesn’t matter.”
“So is that a yes?”
Maybe it was because of our brief separation but I felt a bit shy as I nodded. Of course, Gabriel noticed every nuance of my emotional state.
“What is this, Emma? Are you blushing, baby?”
“Maybe a little.”
Gabriel chuckled and hugged me to him. “Will it make you feel better to know that I haven’t slept in two days and am probably physically incapable of doing much more than holding you tonight?”
“No. That would make me feel worse. Usually.” I gripped his shoulders tightly and kissed his cheek, not trusting myself to kiss his beautiful mouth. “But I would love nothing more than to go to bed with you and fall asleep in your arms.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Gabriel guided me back into my chair and buckled up my seatbelt. He quickly stuffed the remains of our fried feast into the brown bags. Gabriel then dashed out and tossed them in the garbage before sliding back into the driver’s seat.
“Let’s go pick up my car and drop it off at my mom’s. I’ll call her and let her know that I won’t be back tonight. Oh! I also have to stop by at a gas station or grocery store because I need to get my mom a soda and drop it off too.”
I pulled the phone out of my purse. Gabriel instantly zeroed in on it.
“That’s new. Why do you have a new phone, Emma?”
“Because I, uh, changed my number.”
Hurt flashed across his face. “You changed your number too?”
“I’m sorry.” I tented my fingertips and brought them to my mouth in a plea. “Honest.”
“I can’t even…” Gabriel waved me to make my call. I could tell he was perturbed though at how far I went to separate from him.
Leaning across the seat, I pecked him on the cheek. “I’m sorry, Sir.”
“You’re kissing up to me.”
“Is it working?”
“Yes! You know what the one word does to me,” he groaned loudly. “My sweet, lovely Emma is the real sadist in this relationship.”
“Me? No way!”
Gabriel took my cheeky denial in stride. “You’re fooling no one here, Adams. Now call your mama and let’s get going. I’m liable to fall asleep at the wheel if I don’t get you to bed soon.”
I saluted him and then called home. My mom picked up on the third ring. “Hello? Mom?”
“Emma! Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Everything is perfect actually.”
“You sound very happy. The drive must’ve done you a world of good.”
“I am and it did.” I looked at Gabriel and smiled brightly. “I’m really, really happy actually. Listen, Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I’ll be dropping my car off at the house but I won’t be staying the night.”
Worry tinged her voice. “Everything’s okay though, right?”
“Yes, it is. I promise.”
“I see.” She cleared her throat. “Em, you’re a grown woman and all but I’m going to ask anyways. You’ve either picked up a one-night stand or you’re with Gabriel. Which one is it?”
“Uh, number two.”
Gabriel cocked his head, raised an eyebrow, and mouthed, “Number two?”
I winked and waited for my mom to have her say.
“And I take it everything’s been smoothed out enough for you to spend the night with him?”
“You can say that.”
“I don’t have to worry.”
“Nope.”
“You’ll fill me in on the details later?”
“Definitely.”
I heard her make a familiar decisive sound in her throat, one she’d make every time she solved a problem. “All right. I’m very happy for you, Emma. Before I let you go, are you still going to Paris or has that been canned?”
“I’m still going.”
“Really? That’s an answer I didn’t expect.”
“I know. I wasn’t all that sure about it either, but Gabriel insists.”
He frowned and poked my arm before mouthing “Hey!”
I smiled and poked him right back. “Mom, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”
“You better, Em.”
I heard the smile in her voice and returned it. “I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”
“Okay. See you soon. Be careful.”
“I will.”
I almost disconnected the call when I heard “Emma?”
“Yes?”
“Love you.”
“I love you too. Bye.” I moved to slip my phone back into my purse when Gabriel’s hand closed around my wrist.
“What’s your number, Emma?”
I frowned. “Actually, I’m not sure. I haven’t memorized it yet.”
Gabriel shook his head and tutted. “That’s no good, baby. Let’s take a look.” He quickly tapped and swiped his way to my settings and got the number. Wasting no time, he added me to his contacts. I peeked and saw him name me “Bad Emma.”
“Hey!”
“What?” Gabriel replied unapologetically. “This number belongs to the bad, naughty Emma. Can you deny it? I didn’t think so.”
What could I say? It was true.
THIRTEEN
It took only a short period of time before we got my mom her soda, picked up my car, and dropped it off at the house. I dashed inside and handed her the icy drink before bounding into my room. I grabbed my bags and lugged them down the hall only to find my mom wasn’t in the living room anymore.
“Mom?”
Despite the TV being on, I could hear the low murmur of voices outside on the driveway. Curious, I made my way through the door to see Gabriel and my mom standing out by his car.
What was this?
Gabriel looked up when I hit the front porch. His face lit up and he called out my name before saying “Excuse, Ms. Adams.” He then met me at the concrete stairs and said, “Here. Let me get these, Emma.” Before I could even try to automatically dismiss his help, Gabriel shot me a warning look.
I relinquished my bags and was rewarded with a big pleased smile.
Gabriel stowed the luggage in the back of his trunk. He then joined me by my mother’s side.
Although I was glad to see my two most beloved people talking and interacting, I couldn’t help but want to make sure they were indeed getting along. “Mom? Everything okay?”
She nodded. “Yep. Gabriel was just reassuring me that I wouldn’t need to kick his butt or anyone else’s.”
My eyes widened. Sweat immediately dotted my temples. “Seriously?”
“Absolutely.”
Gabriel popped in with “Emma, I can see where you get your feistiness. I’ve made a vow to never get on your mama’s bad side.”
“Treat my daughter right and you never will be.”
My lover bowed his head. “Then I’m safe. I love your daughter more than anything in the world. I live to make her happy. My butt will be safe from your powerful kicks.”
Coming out of any other man’s mouth, it would sound incredibly glib and insincere. I knew Gabriel Gordon meant every word. My mother stared at him a second longer than polite before nodding her head.
“I believe you, Gabriel. I hope you can make peace with my daughter’s stubbornness though.”
What was that? “Mom!”
“Hey, it’s true. It’s a family condition, Gabriel. I don’t know if there’s a cure for it,” she warned with a smirk. “Make sure you stock up on aspirin.”
Gabriel hugged me to him and kissed the top of my head. “I’m well acquainted with that particular trait, Ms. Adams. It’s one of her best traits actually.”
“You really are in love.”
Flaming too many shades of red, I groaned, “Mom, stop. You’re killing me here.”
Both of them chuckled at my discomfort. “All right, all right. I’ll stop teasing, Em.” My mom pulled me to her in a hug. “Don’t forget to call me tomorrow and thanks for the soda. Now go be happy and remember—you deserve it.” She whispered in my ear, “Don’t give him up so quickly again, Emma. Not if you love him.”
I closed my eyes. “I won’t. Love you, Mom.”
“Love you too.” She let go of me and surprised me by reaching up to hug Gabriel. He bent down without prompting and easily hugged her back. “Take care of my girl and yourself, Gabriel.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Good.” She patted his back one last time before stepping back. “If I don’t see you again before you leave town, it was good to finally meet you, Gabriel.”
“The same to you, Ms. Adams. Thank you so much for supporting us. I appreciate it more than you know—especially concerning the circumstances.”
She beamed, looking far younger than her years. “Anytime. I’m a sucker for star-crossed lovers. Still, get uncrossed for me, will you?”
“It’s my top priority, Ms. Adams.”
“Then it will happen, won’t it?”
“Without a doubt.” Gabriel then opened the car door for me. I got in and waved my goodbyes. “I’ll call you tomorrow, Mom.”
“Till tomorrow, Em.”
“Bye, Ms. Adams!”
Gabriel got in and started the car. The windows slid down and we both waved as he backed the car out of the narrow driveway. I waved until I couldn’t see her anymore.
“Your mom is nice, Emma.”
“She is.”
“She reminds me a lot of you. Straight-forward, determined, strong. You’re her Mini-Me.”
“She’s always had to be strong to survive this life.”
Gabriel made a questioni
ng sound, encouraging me to tell him more. The darkness made it easier to share.
“She got pregnant with me her senior year of high school. Her family was really poor and religious, so coming home with a baby in her belly wasn’t welcomed on two fronts. Still they were willing to bend their religious views and scraped together money for an abortion. My mom refused. They then wanted her to give me up for adoption.”
“No surprise that she refused too, didn’t she?”
“Yeah. They threw her out of the house for it. They would’ve rather never seen her again before having to explain to the church that they’d failed in raising a good daughter.”
“That must have been so hard for her.”
“It was. Still, she’d saved up a little money from her part-time job, most of it had gone to help support the family, and got a bus ticket here.”
“Why here?”
Lulled by sharing my story, I settled back into the seat and let the tiredness smooth out my muscles.
“I don’t know really. I think she had a friend who moved here. I think. She never really said. All I know is she managed to rent a room, got some help from a local church, had me, and then was able to work cleaning houses while trading for child care with a coworker. It was a hard life for many, many years.”
“And here you are. Brilliant, successful, and worthy of all her sacrifices.”
“You think?”
“I know. You shouldn’t feel guilty, Emma.”
Slumping further in my seat, I crossed my legs and breathed, “Is it that obvious?”
“Of course, it is. To me and to her. That’s a little of what we talked about while you were in the house.”
I perked up, curious. “Really? What’d she say?”
Not taking his eyes off the road, he answered, “That you deserved happiness in your life. That you were always trying to shoulder way more than you needed to. And that she always felt helpless when it came to you because her choices made your life harder than it needed to be.”
I blinked rapidly. I cried more tonight than I had in the last seven years. I hoped it wasn’t about to become a habit. If so, how was I going to cope leaking from my eyes all the time?
“I didn’t know she felt that way.”
“She trusted me to bring you joy, Emma. That’s the only reason she shared that. I promised her I would do anything and everything to make you happy. I take my promises very seriously, you know.”