by Anna Antonia
Still, I couldn’t ever look at Lucas the same after this afternoon. Just like Marie said, he did have a heart and he did love his family more than anything in the world. He may have gone about it the wrong way, but his intentions were in the right place.
But you know what they say about how the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
We had all three hurt Gabriel despite our best intentions. We were all equally drawn together and would be forever because of that love. Even though some of us were having a harder time with it than others.
I can see Lucas is trying but I don’t know if he and I will ever fully get there.
Just as Lucas hated me for what I represented in his past, he loved Embry for the same. He admired her single-minded devotion to Gabriel because he shared it for Marie. Maybe by giving Embry what she wanted, Lucas had thought it would make what happened to Marie and him bearable.
I just wish he would’ve seen me in that place.
I couldn’t deny it didn’t hurt a little, but I couldn’t judge it. Being apart from Gabriel just for a few days had been agony. What would it be like to be forced to see him with someone else and know he could never be mine again?
I didn’t ever want to know.
Marie brought my attention squarely back to her. “You’re probably wondering why we’re sharing all of this with you now, Emma. Gabriel’s made his choice concerning you and his future. I want you to know that I…we…support you.”
“You do?” Shocked at the inclusion of Lucas, I looked to him for confirmation.
He gave me a clipped nod. “I was…wrong…in how I went about things with you and Gabriel. I should’ve trusted him more even if I still don’t trust you. Yet.”
That was about as good as I was going to get from Lucas Gordon. At least for today.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what brought about this change of heart for you, Mr. Gordon?”
He glanced at me sharply. “Gabriel’s left the company.”
“I know.”
“And I think it’s in his best interest that he stay,” Lucas said. “I would be indebted to you if you helped me convince Gabriel of that fact.”
Ah. Lucas is giving me leverage over him. That must hurt.
“Marie, is that what you want as well?”
“I want whatever makes my son happy. I suspect you already know the answer to what that will be.”
I took another sip of my drink, knowing I needed time to gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to inadvertently burn the bridge that Lucas just built for me to cross, but my first loyalty was and always would be to Gabriel.
Finally, I said, “Gabriel has worked incredibly hard for Gordon Industries. I know how much it means to him, to you, Mr. Gordon.”
“However?”
Nothing got by him, just like his son.
“Gabriel has made up his mind about what he wants for his future. I can’t change it. In fact, I won’t try to change it even if I could. I want his happiness more than anything. If that means being away from Gordon Industries then that’s what it means.”
“I see. And you’re resolute on this?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Gordon.”
We heard Gabriel’s footsteps coming down the stairs at a fast clip. He walked into the cheery salon and reached my side. “Excuse me, everyone. Emma, can I talk to you outside please?”
Gabriel drew me away, down the hall. He noticed my red eyes. “What happened? Are you okay?” He took a half step back towards the salon and I had to grab his arm to keep him in place.
“Yes, I’m fine. We were just talking.”
“Talking?”
“Talking. No insults. I promise.”
Gabriel studied me, apparently wanting to make sure I wasn’t lying for his own good. “Okay. How’s it going in there then?”
I kept my voice low. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“We’ve had better days, baby. Then again we’ve had worse. Is my uncle playing nice?”
My mind hung on the word ‘uncle.’ I’d soon have to tell Gabriel the specifics of his parents’ confession to me. I just hoped he wouldn’t think it would change how I looked at him or his mother. I also hoped it would give him comfort to know it did change how I looked at Lucas.
No longer an enemy but not quite a friend either.
“Surprisingly yes. Very nice indeed. He even let me use his handkerchief. See?”
“His handkerchief? He was indeed playing nice.” Gabriel smirked. “He asked you to convince me to stay at the company.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t have to ask what your answer was, do I?”
“No, you don’t.”
Gabriel pulled me into a tight hug. “Thank you, Emma. I love you so much, baby.”
“Forever?”
“Always and forever.” He cupped my face in his large, beautiful hands. Gabriel’s lips touched mine in a tender kiss. It wasn’t about lust but rather affirmation, reconnection.
A promise to last forever.
We ended our kiss slowly. Gabriel’s arms slid down mine until he was holding onto my hands. Our fingers entwined.
“Is Embry really going to be all right?”
Deep worry puckered his brow. “I think so. It’ll be a long road for her, but it’s already gotten a little easier.”
“How?”
“She doesn’t love me like she thought she did. Not anymore.”
I searched his gaze, trying to gauge how that made him feel. “Are you okay?”
Gabriel’s expression smoothed and his mouth eased into his familiar charming smile. “Just peachy, my love. I don’t regret her change of feelings. I only regret that it took this to inspire the change.”
“I understand.” Maybe later I’d ask him how many times had Embry done something similar before, but then again maybe I never would. It really wasn’t any of my business.
“Emma, she’d like to see you.”
My eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“If you’re up to it that is.”
I shook my head. “Is Embry well enough to see me? I mean, I don’t want to upset her further.”
“I know. I was worried about the same thing, but she was insistent. Said she wanted to apologize.”
“Apologize? She has nothing to apologize for.”
“I don’t know, baby. It’s okay if you don’t want to. Actually, it might be better if you don’t—just in case she’s not being honest.”
My gaze bounced along the ceiling. “Do you think it’ll cause more harm than good?”
Gabriel considered my question before answering slowly. “No. I think she was sincere.”
“All right then. Let’s go.”
As I followed Gabriel up the stairs I wondered if this was the height of madness. Then again, I never thought Lucas would ever thaw when it came to me.
Still, I couldn’t deny that my stomach did a few somersaults the closer we got to her room.
Maybe this would help Embry and everyone else involved.
Or it could all crash and burn.
TWENTY-THREE
Gabriel knocked at the door. A middle-aged nurse with kind hazel eyes let us in and murmured, “Limit your visit to only a few minutes. She really needs to rest.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
Walking into the darkened room, I felt the jar of disconnect. The last time I spoke to Embry it was as an enemy. The last time I saw her I felt resentment and jealousy. I couldn’t even hear her name without feeling insecurity. Now seeing her in the middle of the poster bed, I felt such relief that she hadn’t died.
And even though I had just told Lucas not to feel guilty about Embry’s reckless decision, I didn’t know if I would ever be able to forgive myself the part I had in driving her over the edge if she had died.
Approaching the four-poster gilt bed, I waited until she turned her head to look at me. Pale and only hours away from death’s door, Embry was still an exquisite beauty. Her red-rim
med eyes fixed on mine.
“Thank you for coming.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for wanting to see me.” Awkward and unsure, I waited for Embry to have her say.
She spoke without preamble. “I want you to know that I won’t be bothering you or Gabriel again. That part of my life is over.”
So simple. So irrevocable.
I didn’t doubt or question her sincerity. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that she meant every word. Not wanting to say the wrong thing and possibly upset her, I merely nodded my head.
Embry continued, voice low and raspy from what was probably hours of crying.
“I now understand that what I had with Gabriel wasn’t enough. He and I weren’t enough. I loved him more than I ever loved anyone else, but because he couldn’t love me the same way I just worked harder to win him over. I never could.
“I always thought it was because I wasn’t enough. It took me nearly dying, for real this time, to finally see the truth. I am enough. I’m just not the right one for him.”
“I know there’s someone out there for me.” Embry bit her lip and then took a shallow breath. “I also know I don’t ever want to feel that way with the man I love again.”
Gabriel said, “Never again, Embry.”
She allowed him a tiny smile. “No, never again.”
Their exchange obviously was a code only they understood. There was a part of Gabriel I would never know, that would belong solely to Embry. I could live with that, especially knowing that her presence in his life helped guide him back to me.
How could I begrudge her existence? I couldn’t. I didn’t want to anymore.
But I wasn’t the saint or goddess Gabriel compared me to. I was a woman who just happened to be in forever-love with a man who had a long past of lovers. It was a matter of survival. I either had to accept his past or end it.
I chose to accept because Gabriel was definitely worth it.
We stayed with Embry a few minutes longer before saying our goodbyes. Embry’s last words to me were “Love him well, Emma.”
“I will.”
She closed her eyes and whispered, “Good.”
Once the door closed behind us, I let out a sad sigh. “Gabriel, it would’ve been nice to not have hurt anyone.”
He placed his arm on my shoulder and pulled me close. “I know, baby.”
“Should we leave before her parents get here?”
Gabriel slowed, brow furrowed in thoughts. “No. I want to talk to them before they take her. It’s the least I can do.”
“Okay. I think it’s best if I stay out of the way. I know how I’d feel if it were my daughter. I definitely wouldn’t want to see the new girl anywhere around.”
“Sweet Emma. Always thinking of others.”
I didn’t think of it as sweet. More like self-preservation. Still, it felt good to be thought of so nicely.
I’ll be a little selfish and keep this one for myself.
***
We spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening separated into two camps—Marie and Lucas, Gabriel and me. Dinner brought us together. As if by unspoken, complicit agreement we avoided all controversial topics. But it hung out there, waiting to be explored at the first opportunity.
Embry’s family arrived later in the evening. I made myself scarce, still feeling the guilt I admonished Lucas not to feel. Gabriel found me in the sunroom, book in my lap, and attention fixed on the glass ceiling above.
“Penny for your thoughts, Emma?”
A vivid handprint on his left cheek glowed brightly in the semi-dark. I hopped up onto my feet and went to him. “Oh my God! Are you all right, Gabriel?”
“I’m fine. Mrs. Milford knows how to slap a fellow hard enough to make his brain rattle.”
I didn’t have to guess the answer as to why Gabriel got slapped. “I’m sorry you got hit.”
“It’s okay. I deserve it. I should’ve never taken up with Embry. Instead, I should’ve found you and made you fall in love with me again.”
“It wouldn’t have been that hard.”
“Don’t tell me that, Emma. You’ll give me a big head.” He pointed to his skull. “Here too.”
If Gabriel was making jokes then everything must be as settled as it was going to be tonight. “Is everyone gone now?”
“Yes.” Gabriel held my hand and led me out of the room. “Are you ready to go back to the hotel?”
“You don’t think it’s too late?”
“Not at all.” He paused and then admitted softly, “I need you tonight and I don’t want to feel constricted because we’re here.”
“Oh.” I wondered if there would ever come a point in time when I didn’t fall to my blushes so quickly.
“Oh indeed.” Gabriel’s arm bumped against mine. I looked up in time to see his roguish grin and mischievous gaze.
“Then let’s say our goodbyes then.”
“I like the way you think, my love.”
Gabriel led me back to the salon where Marie and Lucas were apparently waiting for us. I imagined Gabriel must’ve told them of our plans already. Marie hugged me and thanked me for everything. The everything obviously being our afternoon conversation.
“Thank you, Marie. I can never thank you enough for believing in me, in us.” She kissed me on the cheek and hugged me tight.
Lucas approached us carefully. I quickly looked up and saw Gabriel’s jaw tighten. Lucas stopped just out of reach.
“Emma will tell you what happened here today.”
“I expect her to.”
“I wish you’d reconsider your decision.”
“I won’t.”
A slight smile appeared. “I know you won’t. You’re too damned stubborn about things.”
“About important things.”
Lucas included me in his gaze. “Yes. I know that now.” He held out his hand for me to shake. I took it with nominal hesitation. “Thank you for listening, Emma. You were just as gracious as Gabriel always described you to be.”
Wow. Double wow. I didn’t expect that from him. Not now anyways. I figured Lucas would give me the cold shoulder for at least another year.
“You’re welcome, Mr. Gordon.”
He hesitated and then said, “Emma, please. We’re going to be family. I think it’s time you call me Lucas.”
Gabriel’s start of surprise reflected mine. I hoped he took it as the peace offering I was sure it was designed to be.
“Very well then…Lucas.”
Gabriel laughed and then pulled his father into a giant hug. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, son. I’m only sorry I brought you more problems than helped.”
“This is true.”
Marie and I shared a warm look, happy that peace was coming back to the men we loved.
“We’ll see both of you stateside, Gabriel. I hope you’ll stay on during the transition period.”
“Will do, but expect it to be an extremely short transition, Lucas.”
“Why might that be?”
“Two reasons. One—I’m naming you CEO and don’t foresee any problems making my case before the Board. Two—I have no intention of working during my honeymoon.”
“Gabriel!” I groaned in mortification. “You haven’t even asked me yet.”
“I know.” He winked and promised “Soon.”
“Your mother and I look forward to receiving our invitations then.”
Just before the door closed I heard Marie say rather smugly, “You should listen to me more often, Lucas. It would save loads of trouble, you know.”
I didn’t hear his response but I could only imagine it as a singular brow lift.
An hour or so later and we were back at our suite and Gabriel showed me exactly how much he needed me as soon as we walked through the door.
Heated kisses, whispered commands, and then he gave his first command.
“I need you to be a good girl for me, Emma. Can you do that, my love?”
I could do anything as long as he kept talking so sweetly and looking like I hung the moon while wearing a blindfold.
We played our game, the one where he asked me questions and I gave him answers that were true and would earn me another spank.
He craved the control. I craved the loss of it.
Laid over his lap, I was able to release all my pent-up emotions from the day and even earlier. The more I cried, the better I felt. I didn’t have to be the impenetrable Emma Adams. Beneath Gabriel’s punishing hand I could be everything I wouldn’t allow myself to be in normal circumstances.
Soft, vulnerable, and concerned only with what Gabriel needed from me.
It was raw, beautiful, and completely about love.
We gave what the other needed without reservation and judgment. It was an intimacy that I’d never want to give up.
After our scene, Gabriel bound my wrists. He then took me hard against the wall, hands holding my flaming backside and creating sweet friction with each deep stroke.
I cried out my love for him and felt his body shudder hard in response. I lost control and then gained it just like that.
Later while lying in bed, I told him what Marie and Lucas had shared with me. Gabriel lay there quietly for so long that I worried he’d either fallen asleep or was upset that I knew.
I whispered his name before he responded, “What do you think about it?”
“About what?”
“About knowing my family’s dark secret.”
“I suspected it.”
Gabriel sat halfway up in surprise. “You did? When?”
“At the ballet. It was the way he looked at her.”
“How did you know it wasn’t just a crush or some sordid affair?”
“I didn’t. There was just something about it that stood out to me. That’s all.”
“Does it change how you feel about my mother?”
I noted his use of ‘mother’ versus ‘mama.’
“Absolutely not, Gabriel. First, it’s not my place to judge her. Second, she and Lucas loved each other. The fact they still do proves it’s real. Third, life doesn’t come with a manual and perfection isn’t supposed to be the end goal.”
He relaxed and twined his legs with mine. “How’d you get so smart? Oh yeah. You’ve always been that way.”
“No, I just had the sweetest man in the world show me that while love may not start out like a fairy tale, it doesn’t mean it’s any less magical or real.”