“What are you doing here?” I inwardly winced. That was much ruder than I intended. Maybe Claire had a point about my manners.
“Is that really how you answer the door?” She snapped immediately, her plump lips pursed.
I felt my ears turning pink in embarrassment and anger. She can’t speak to me like that! This is my house. Who in the world does this girl think she is? "You are on my property; I am entitled to know what you are doing here," I replied.
Her lips curled into a snarl as we kept arguing and I bet I didn’t look much better. She was not so cute when she was like that. It may have escalated if my Neighbor, the sweet old lady that she is, stuck her head out and gave us a concerned look. I hated to upset her, so I dragged her into the house.
She gingerly sat on my couch and looked around the place uncomfortably. I stared at the beautiful Indian girl in the face for a few minutes before the realization of what I did actually struck me.
Oh crap. I’ve still never even asked her name and now she’s in my house and I have nothing to say!
What do I do? What do I do? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do!
chapter 5
Okay, so I went to her house. We started fighting. And now I’m in her house and she gave me tea. I don’t know what is going on and I don’t know how to make this normal.
I sipped my tea. “Uh…I think we got off on the wrong foot.” I said, holding my hand out to shake. “My name’s Amelia. And you are?”
She stared at my hand for a moment like she didn’t understand, before I awkwardly dropped my hand and looked away, cheeks flushing. Of course. She has no reason to be polite to me anymore.
“So…I’m just… gonna… gonna go.” I said, motioning to the doors at the front of her house. “I just-“
“Leela.” She answered eventually, sipping her own tea as she sat across from me. “My name is Leela.”
I looked up in shock. I wasn’t expecting her to actually answer. “That’s a pretty name.” I complimented. I was feeling antsy so I had to get up and walk around her house. I can’t just stay still. I felt like I couldn’t even actually breathe.
I wasn’t looking at her so I couldn’t see what her reaction was. I was just looking at the pictures she had around her living room, not because her pink tongue kept darting out to wet her lips and it distracted me, only because of curiosity. How can someone be so frustrating and interesting at once? I feel like screaming sometimes.
She had several portraits scattered about. Some of Bandit playing around being adorable. Others were clearly of her as an adorable kid. The ones that my eyes spent the least amount of time on were all the pictures of her smiling and holding some beautiful blonde.
Okay, so that bummed me out a little bit…FOR A GOOD REASON I SWEAR. I swear. There was no way that was about her being taken. Not at all. The disappointment was for all the pictures of Bandit. She… she actually took a lot of care of her dog and seemed like a decent owner.
Am I a bad person that this made me so upset? That I wanted Bandit to have such a crummy owner that it justified me in withholding the sweet creature.
She wasn’t. She might’ve been rude to me and had a temper, but she seemed to really care about Bandit. “I know where Bandit is.” I eventually declared, turning to Leela.
“Bandit?” She asked. She was actually kinda cute with her face scrunched up in confusion. I wasn’t expecting that.
“Yeah. Bandit. Your dog!” I replied. “I’ve been taking care of him.”
“You know where Albert is!” She yelled.
“What kind of name is Al-” I started, because honestly. Albert? What is that woman thinking?
"Take me to him immediately!" She ordered while interrupting me. She grabbed my hand and practically pulled me out of the house.
I would have argued more, but I didn’t want to. And I kinda felt guilty. I mean, Bandit was such a sweetheart. I bet anyone would be absolutely heartbroken to lose him. So off we went to my modest, unassuming apartment.
chapter 6
It is officially not my fault that I am rude to Amelia. I don’t care how cute she is when she pouts or how when I held her hand, it was so soft and her body was toned. And I definitely don’t care that she looks at me like I’m some kind of disappointment. I don’t care that she is avoiding eye contact or that when I close my eyes I can imagine the taste of her soft lips. She is the one who does everything that frustrates me.
She is the one who took my dog, invaded my space, and wasted my time! How can anyone be so annoying? She irritated me and it felt like she was insulting me even when she wasn’t. As if her very presence was some kind of grave insult. At least, I will get to get Albert, and never see her face again.
If I was smarter I would have thought twice about why that thought filled me with more disappointment than actual relief. Thank the heavens I’m not. I was definitely not ready to actually think that out. I wasn’t ready to explore my feelings. I mean, I was still in love with Claire! How was I supposed to know that she wasn’t just a rebound to me?
When Amelia opened the door, I saw Albert again! He was smiling and his tail was wagging in a way that just made me almost cry. I went to pet him, but, he pulled away. He barked at me and it felt like he was judging me with those big brown eyes of his.
I felt genuinely offended when the dog walked right passed me and sat at Amelia’s feet. He rolled onto his back and began barking and wagging his tail as Amelia pet him. How dare he! He betrayed me like that.
Amelia isn’t that great, Albert! She might be cute, but cuteness doesn’t equate to being great in any way! Can’t you see that? I mean she’s loud and demanding and- Oh you don’t care. You have such low standards for what a person needs to be in order for you to love them.
I took Albert by the collar as I tried to leave the house. That girl knows nothing about him. She even calls Albert, Bandit! Albert is an angel who would never steal anything. Obviously not how SHE sees it.
I would’ve left too. Just taken my little Albert with me and never looked back. (At least that’s what I like to tell myself.) I did have to turn around when I saw her expression through a reflection off the window.
Her lower lip was shuddering as her eyes filled with big tears. Her eyes looked even larger because they were glittering with unshed tears. She covered her face with her soft beautiful hands, not wanting anyone to see how genuinely sad she was.
I’m not made of stone! No human being with a functioning heart would be able to resist. I tried to comfort her. If anyone knows me, I’m awful at doing that.
She didn’t even really seem like she needed someone to cry on. And, fine, I’ll admit it. That annoyed me too. I put all this effort into making a girl feel better and it’s like she doesn’t even want it!
“My job was so… stifling. I had to quit. I just knew everything would be better after I quit. I never actually thought it through, though. I don't know where my life is going, or have any direction to start in.” She seemed to find her humor in bad jokes. “Writing for design is….my fashion.”
I groaned and said her joke was just awful. The way she perked up made me sure there wasn’t really any other way to make her feel better than that. Does everyone who makes bad puns do that? Enjoy tormenting other people with her jokes. "I do freelance work," I suggested. I don't know why I was trying to help her so much, other than the vague feeling that I want to. “I can, I dunno, put in a good word for you with some of my clients.”
I will not admit she is cute when she smiled like that. And she definitely did NOT make me feel really proud when she gushed about how awesome I was. Immediately afterward she demanded I bring ‘Bandit’ over sometimes to entertain her. I compromised by saying she can come play with Albert.
“Deal.” She declared as I walked out the door, before playfully adding. "You should come over, though. I make the best Amelia Sunrise."
I made sure my groan was audible enough for her to hear through the door.
&n
bsp; chapter 7
Is it that rude to come over so soon? I mean… probably! But my house is so empty and I’ve got nothing much to do and I just want to come and see Bandit. Maybe he missed me, just as much as I missed him! I mean, it wouldn’t be hard to… at least check, right?
With that in mind, I fixed my makeup until it was 100% flawless – for no particular reason – and went to Leela’s house once again. Bandit practically attacked me and covered me in all her affection and saliva.
I can’t help but giggle and pet the dog. “Who’s a good puppy? You are! Oh yes, you are!” I cooed to the hyperactive pooch.
Leela giggled at the sight and I almost froze. She snorts like a little piglet when she laughs. Dammit! Nobody on this planet should be allowed to be that cute! I was pouting so much that I didn’t even hear her the first time she spoke.
“So what do you think?” She asked me. I don’t know what she said but she was smiling so excitedly to me I felt that I owed her an answer that I clearly do not have at the moment.
“Uhh… can you repeat the question?” I was embarrassed. What is wrong with me? I zoned out while staring at her pink lips. I was busy imagining the feel of her velvety-soft lips on my skin. Why am I staring at them so much? We are FRIENDS. Nothing more. She has a girlfriend… or an ex-girlfriend. Is she even sure what their relationship is? More importantly, why can’t I just let it go?
The feelings of inadequacy she instilled into me were only heightened as she rolled her eyes and repeated it slowly as if I were some kind of child. “I put a few words in with some of my clients,” She explained. “One of them does need an article writer. They’re a fashion magazine, it’s not well known but they are willing to pay well. Here’s their business card, call them and tell them you’re the girl that Leela told them about.”
“Oh. Okay, thank you.” I replied, taking the card. Maybe I can actually get a good job that I enjoy. I smiled gratefully at her.
I didn’t stay for longer than a couple hours, though I wanted to stay so I could keep playing with Bandit. I was afraid I might annoy her even more by overstaying my welcome. My house was lonely without an adorable puppy waiting for me.
I dialed the number for the company and called, telling them I was the freelancer that Leela was talking about. I AM an asset to any company after all. I have even spent the last few years working for US Monthly as an article author. After talking for a while, I was offered a marketing assignment. I was so excited, luckily I am more than cool enough to not let them see me being so unprofessional. I practically squealed when I got off the phone.
Quitting was one of my greatest decisions! I kinda have a dog, sorta have a crush, and definitely, have some kind of job opportunity! Even if it’s lonely in my house, I haven’t been this happy since I moved out of my parents’ house.
chapter 8
I actually have been spending more time with Amelia recently. I do not say this a lot and it’s really hard for anyone to get me to admit it, but I was wrong. She isn’t nearly as annoying as I believed she was the first time around. Her soft smile and interesting personality made my cheeks burn whenever I thought about them. I had a dream about me being held in her arms affectionately as she ran her fingers through my hair.
That being said, I still dream about Claire way too often and I can't stand it. I’ve taken to calling my dog Bandit because ‘Albert’ is Claire’s name for him. I need to get away from my memories of that girl.
I was so busy all day cleaning up all memories of Claire from the house that it wasn’t until late that Bandit left. Not until I was filling his bowl for his afternoon meal and he was nowhere to be found.
I knew he was gone, especially if he didn’t have food. Maybe…maybe Amelia knew where he was? I left the house immediately to go to Amelia’s house.
I knocked the door. Once. Twice. Three times. Seriously, where did that girl go?
“You’re looking for me.” Her voice was matter-of-fact. “I didn’t expect you I was-”
She stopped talking when I jumped. HOW? She just appeared less than a foot behind me. I didn't even hear her walk. Also, she smelled! She was all sweaty and wearing workout gear. It was gross, completely gross. I am definitely not protesting too much on purpose.
“What’s up with you?” She commented as she looked over at me as if I was crazy. When I didn’t respond she just shrugged. “Okay. Well, I got back from the gym just now, so what’s going on?”
"Bandit left. I'm looking for him. I thought he might have gone here again." I replied anxiously.
“I haven’t been here in a few days,” She replied – rather pompously in my opinion – “Maybe he came to visit me?”
We went to check the backyard. I should’ve felt relieved when I saw Bandit sitting there and whining to be let in. But, instead, I felt disappointed.
Bandit is such an awful judge of character! He never went after Claire when we were separated. But he goes after Amelia?
I mean… he’s the awful judge of character, right?
Right?!
She offered me to come into the house to chat. Maybe I looked pouty and pathetic or something. “You never did have that Amelia Sunrise I offered.” She teased.
I nodded and smiled softly at her. "That sounds great." I agreed, following her into the house.
chapter 9
I’ve always prided myself in being cool under pressure. So I just took a few shots of my ‘Amelia Sunrise’ with her, before she started talking.
Leela was… not what I expected. It almost felt like that was on purpose. Every single time I feel like I have unlocked what makes her tick, there is a new layer. I am usually a girl who likes straightforward answers. And yet, this challenge that I can’t easily quantify may be my favorite. For once I get to ask interesting questions!
"Claire was never this relaxed," Leela told me, before holding her hand up to make me keep quiet. "Yes, the blonde in all the photos was Claire."
I didn't know whether to smile or frown. I mean, it's good that Leela purposefully used the past-tense, but on the other hand, the way she's talking. Those are new wounds. I already knew it was new because her images were still up, but it still hurt to have those suspicions confirmed. It’s almost as if it wasn’t real until this moment. I didn't know what to say, but my mouth moved without my permission. "Tell me about her." WHY? WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? WHY DID I SAY THAT?
"Oh, gosh," Leela replied. "Where do I start? I met her in community college a while ago and we clicked. She was gorgeous and witty, and beautiful, and funny, and attractive." Leela explained. "Maybe I was too drunk for this? Or just the right amount of drunk? At least I wasn't going on and on about how no star has ever shined as bright as her eyes when she smiles, and how when she sings you feel as though your ear drums are being caressed by a soft, lilting melody."
Okay, ouch. Poetic torment. Why is it always that girls can use such beautiful flowery language as they tear me the people who are in love with them apart? It isn’t even fair! Nobody ever thinks of me that way.
“That’s enough of that.” I interrupted, feeling my stomach twist as she spoke.
She looked confused by my outburst. She clearly didn’t think she was actually speaking out loud. “But,” She continued. “It isn’t all great. She’s obnoxiously loud sometimes. She demands the whole world conform to her schedule and pitches a fit when it doesn’t. She tried to control every little part of my life. When you’re with her for a short amount of time, you feel choked by her presence but for longer than that it’s just- just-”
“Stifling.” I supplied, frowning. That reminded me of my first girlfriend. Always too much, taking away from my vibrancy as she dragged me down to her level. It was a long time ago, and I can barely remember what I ever liked about her. “I know how you feel.” I would’ve said more but she started babbling.
"Bandit wasn’t even my idea. I never really wanted a dog. It always felt like too much work and too little a payoff for such a responsibility. Claire got
him and named him Albert. I didn't even really like Albert at first but that little guy has a way of getting under your skin. I told myself I only kept him to get back at Claire. But that's not true."
I didn’t know what to say, so I awkwardly patted her on the back. What does one even say to that? It seems Bandit didn’t like her anyway! That would not make much sense and it would be pretty cruel. “Well, I didn’t expect to get attached to any dog at all either.” I tried to joke.
“Yeah. But he likes you. Much more than he’s ever liked me. That’s it. Bandit can stay here, granted I can visit.” Bandit was now running around and wagging his tail. Did he even understand our conversation?
"Deal," I replied. She looked so lonely that I wrapped my arms around her in a warm embrace. I couldn’t help it. If I could do nothing else, I could make her feel better for the moment by providing some needed support.
She wrapped her arms back around me and we were unsure who moved first or if we moved together. Who initiated it was a meaningless blame game, as neither of us did the intelligent thing and pulled away because the next thing I was aware of was the feeling of her fingers tugging my hair as her soft lips pressed against mine with a bruising force and her tongue tried to get entrance in my mouth.
It was the most exhilarating thing I’ve felt in a while. Of course, I don’t get happy endings so it fit that she abruptly left the house and didn’t look back. I was left alone in the cold and she was gone. Off to probably wash the taste of me out of her mouth.
She thinks that it was all a big mistake because she could never be that interested in me.
And now, I was alone. Unless you counted Bandit, that way I’m not alone at all.
chapter 10
A series of bad choices led me here. I wish I could say it was bad luck, but lying about luck is bad luck. So I have to come completely clean. I’m not a great person. Maybe Claire was always right?
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