I suddenly realize that the bed is completely still and the only thing I feel against my skin are blankets and pillows. Sure enough, I look over and Rachel is gone. No note, no number to call, no nothing. My stomach drops, suddenly feeling like a dirty little slut. I cheated on my boyfriend, had the best night of my life, and yet have nothing to show for it.
Poor Tom. I completely betrayed him. And I never even gave him an answer to the proposal. I left him hanging and slept with someone else.
What a lying, cheating whore , I kept saying to myself.
I call Carl and explain my whole sob story.
“What a bitch!” He exclaims, absolutely disgusted.
“I made the biggest mistake of my life.” I fall back onto the bed. “So stupid.”
Still hungover, I stumble around the room trying to put my clothes back on. The walk of shame was literally a walk of shame. Not only was my hair a knotted mess and my clothes a wrinkled disaster, but my heart was a huge lump of shame, guilt, and anger towards myself.
Even though all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry, I forced myself to take a shower, put on some nice clothes and go to work.
My job at the art gallery was fairly easy. It was quiet most of the time, so I normally just sat at my computer, scrolling through Facebook, music playing in one ear.
I mean, when there were projects to be done I would get them completed in a timely manner, and when the occasional customers walked in I’d get up and interact with them. But as long as I did that, my boss was happy. And I could just be lazy in the time between.
I would also spend a lot of time staring this one painting of a sad, lonely girl sitting on a cloud. It broke my heart. All she wanted was someone to experience life with but she had to float through life alone. And I felt such an emotional connection to this inanimate figure.
But today all I could see in that picture was me. And next to me was Rachel. We were sitting together, in our own little world. Away from everyone else. Away from all the judgment and cruelty of the world.
But then my mind is shot back to reality and I just see the one lonely girl again as I remember that Rachel abandoned me. We spent a magical night together and she didn't even have the respect to leave a note. My mind kept wandering off to last night's extravagances. The way her body felt sliding across mine. The softness of her touch all along my skin. Her warm, luscious lips digging down on mine. I wanted to watch her take off her clothes over and over again.
Calm down, Kelly. I was getting all hot and bothered and jittery and needed to take a deep breath. I couldn’t get wrapped up in the excitement of it all. It was a one-night thing. It’ll never happen again.
My attempt at focusing on the Excel spreadsheet in front of me was failing miserably. Memories of last night just kept on distracting my brain and giving me chills I could not control.
All week it was this way. Going to work everyday, feeling more and more empty inside. I still hadn’t given Tom an answer, which was driving him absolutely crazy. But I stared at the ring everyday, going over the same exact scenarios in my head over and over again. Maybe I would be better off with just marrying him. Would I be happy? That was unsure. But I’d be safe.
Part of me was still hopeful that Rachel would contact me. But we didn’t give each other our numbers, I didn’t remember telling her where I worked, and no matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find her profile on any social media sites. So it was highly unlikely that I’d ever hear from her again, but I didn’t want to believe it was completely over. That one dreamy night couldn’t have meant nothing.
One day, towards the end of the week, when I came to the conclusion that Rachel had gone back home, my boss peeks her head into the door.
“Kelly,” she says, catching me off guard, “There’s a potential buyer out there who would like to speak with you.”
“Oh, ok,” I felt like a bumbling idiot. I stood up, straightened myself and made it look like I was in the right state of mind. I walked out into the gallery, walked towards the outline of a woman admiring a work of art. As I got closer, I realized it was Rachel.
What the hell was she doing here? I freaked out and turned the other way, walking as fast as I could in heels. But she must've heard my heels clicking on the hardwood floor.
“Kelly!” She calls out my name and I freeze right in my tracks. I turn around, forcing a sweet smile on my face.
“Rachel? What are you doing here?” I walk towards her, sounding surprisingly happy.
“You know how many art galleries are in the city? It took me forever to find you.”
As I get closer I realize she was looking at the painting of my lonely girl. MY painting. Ever since we got that painting in I’ve convinced people to buy every picture but that one. It was the only thing in this world that was solely mine.
“You have no excuse to just come barging in here and…” Rachel interrupts me by pulling me close and crashing her lips into mine. My whole angry demeanor immediately melts away as my lips just sink into hers. My body once again is on fire as the rush of passion trails all the way down from my head to my toes.
Finally, she lets me go and it takes me several moments to catch my balance. I take a peek around just to make sure no one was watching and the room spins right in front of my eyes.
"Oh, you think you can just fix everything like that?" I get defensive.
“You know you liked it.”
I did. A lot. But I couldn’t admit that I was tempted to just forgive everything after that kiss. That world-shattering, pantie-dropping kiss. I wasn’t just going to give her that power over me. But damn, she did have that power over me.
“I’ve missed you,” She caresses my arm ever so gently.
"Well, then you shouldn't have left me in the first place," I say, on the verge of tears. "Why did you leave me?"
“I had to go to work-“
“Bullshit,” I yelled a little bit too loud. “Why didn’t you leave a note? Or why did you disappear for an entire week just to show up out of the blue again? We spent an incredible night together and then you just made me feel like you loved me and left me and that was your plan all along. Do you know how shitty that feels?”
Rachel just stood there, seemingly unshaken. But something in her eyes showed differently. After listening to my rant, she just said a simple, “I’m sorry.” And then she moved closer, wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and opened up her heart, “You’re the best I’ve ever had. And that scared me. I’m normally an independent woman who just goes where she wants and sleeps with who she wants. But that night… I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was something more. And I bolted. But then I realized that I wanted to see you again. Feel you again.”
I was speechless. I just stared at her, tears welling up in my eyes.
She cups my face in her hands and whispers, “We can make that magic again. I want to give you that pleasure again.” Then she whispers every so softly into my ear, “Don’t you want me?”
I did. I wanted her so bad. The taste of her skin, the gentleness of her touch. I wanted to envelop myself in her.
“Yes,” I mutter under my breath.
Rachel takes a few steps back, a satisfied smile on her face.
“Lunch. Tomorrow. The place we met? ” She says as he heads towards the door of the gallery.
I nod my head, still trying to process everything that just happened.
“See you then.” She blows me a kiss right as she’s exiting the gallery and I can’t move. I watch her as she walks down the street and out of sight.
My boss walks in from around the corner. “What was that all about? Did she buy something?”
“It’s complicated.” That’s all I could say. I quietly turn around and walk back to my desk, my mind in a daze. This was happening. This was really happening.
CHAPTER 4
I could barely sleep at all that night, and as soon as my alarm rang, I bolted out of bed, my heart already racing. I had set my al
arm for earlier because I knew I needed extra time to prep in the morning. I had to look impressive. Let Rachel know she didn’t make a mistake coming back to me.
About an hour later I stood in front of the mirror, staring at a perfectly primped version of myself. I was even impressed with myself. I hadn’t looked this good in ages.
I walk into the restaurant with confidence and immediately spot Rachel sitting at a high table, looking more gorgeous than ever. A daring red dress clung to her stunning figure while showing off her long, slender legs. She’s sipping a glass a wine and scrolling through her phone, probably answering work messages.
I strut over to the table and slide into my seat. Rachel doesn’t look up from her phone until I clear my throat, trying to get her attention.
“Wow… you look gorgeous.” Rachel says with widened eyes.
“Thanks, so do you,” I say sensually, not really sure where this random confidence came from.
A waitress wearing stilettos and too much lipstick stops at our table and takes my drink order.
“So,” I break the awkward silence, “Don’t you have to go back to your job?”
Rachel shrugs. “When I realized I wanted to stay here with you, I talked to my boss and he gave me some more work I could do in town. Could keep me here for… at least another couple weeks.”
“Good,” I give her a half smile.
The waitress brings back my drink. We both order food and the waitress walks away, obviously fed up with her job.
“So you said your life isn’t that interesting?” Rachel asks.
“Ugh,” I put my head in my hands. “No. I try to spice things up, but plans always fall through.”
“What about what we did the other night?” She puts her hand on my arm, immediately giving me goosebumps. “That was pretty spicy…”
“Oh… yeah… I’ve never done anything like that.”
Rachel nods proudly, taking a sip of her drink.
“So I want you to be my arm candy to this party tonight.”
My immediate answer was no. No one could know about what was going on between us. I wasn’t ready to make it public. Especially with Tom still being left in the dark. I was such an asshole for not giving him an answer. Didn’t want to make myself look like even more of one.
“What kind of party?”
“It’s just a business dinner. We don’t have to stay long.”
"Um, I don't think I'm ready to make this a public thing. Or even an official thing. In reality, I've only known you a couple days. ”
“You mean this?” Rachel leans over the table and plants a kiss on my lips. I don’t know why but her lips were just electric, pulsing a spark through my entire body. “I…” I was speechless. I catch a couple of people around us looking and part of me just wanted to get up and run out.
“Yes?” Rachel raised her eyebrow, waiting for me to finish my thought.
“I don’t want to just be your arm candy. I’ve been an accessory to someone’s success before and I can’t do it again.”
“Kelly,” Rachel leans forward, “I need you by my side.” The confidence breaks and she’s vulnerable. “You make me feel calm. My thoughts are more collected. The only way I can describe it is that when I feel your touch… that’s the only time my head is in order.”
“But you always seem so collected,” I say, a little taken aback at her suddenly spilling out her heart.
She chuckles sadly, “It’s called acting. It’s called, trying to get ahead in your career. I’m stressed 24/7. This job is literally my entire life. I have no time or energy to do anything else. And being a lesbian in the business world makes it even harder to climb your way to the top of the chain.” She intertwines her hand in mine. “That night with you was the first time I’ve truly enjoyed anything in years. I didn’t think about work at all that night. And it was… like magic.”
I fought to hold back the tears. No one had ever been that real with me. No one had ever told me that I made their life better.
“Please. If you be my gorgeous date to this dinner, afterwards I’m all yours. We can do anything you want. And then…” She started sliding her fingers up and down my arm, “Have a repeat of the other night.”
My stomach flip-flopped with butterflies. “Okay.”
“Thank you so much.” She kisses my hand, looking so relieved.
I went back to work and tried so hard to keep my hair and make-up perfect for the rest of the afternoon. She called me gorgeous. She said I make her look good. No one had ever made me feel that needed. I called Carl and told him the entire story and repeated everything she said like I had written it down word-for-word. He “couldn’t handle the cuteness” or whatever, but did remind me I needed to give Tom an answer.
I knew I needed to give him an answer. I would after tonight. I just needed one more night with Rachel before making my final decision.
—————
The business dinner was a bit intimidating. Everyone was dressed to the hilt and talking about things way beyond my comprehension. But other than that everyone was honestly pretty bland.
Rachel and I walked in arm-in-arm. I felt so out of place but she assured me I was fine. Of course, we got a couple judgmental glances but she didn't seem to care. My guess is she came out quite a while ago and has brought dates to work functions before, so she's used to these types of reactions. But I'm not. The glares some of the older folk give us make my stomach churn. A couple people shake their heads in disapproval and my insecurity shoots through the roof.
But we take our seats and act like everything is perfectly fine. We eat quietly while listening to boring speakers, and create some awkward small talk with the people at our table. Rachel made sure to never leave my side. She kept apologizing that it was taking a lot longer than expected.
“I thought you said we didn’t have to stay long,” I mutter into her ear.
“I’m sorry.” Under the table, Rachel puts her hand on my upper thigh. “We’ll get out of here soon enough,” hinting that she couldn’t wait for us to be alone like she promised.
As soon as the speakers were done, Rachel and I said a few quick goodbyes and then bolted. They offered for everyone to stay around as long as they would like but neither of us wanted to be around these cynical, old farts any longer than we absolutely had to.
When we get out of the building, we both take a huge sigh of relief.
"That was probably the most exhausting business meeting I've ever sat in on," I say.
"Surprisingly that's far from the most tedious thing I've ever had to do for work," Rachel says as she waves down a cab. "Where to?" She asks me as we climb into the back seat.
“How about,” I hesitate, “My apartment.”
Rachel smiles excitedly. “Perfect.”
I give the cab driver my address and he takes off. This ride isn’t nearly as awkward as the last one. We weren’t perfect strangers anymore. I now knew a side of her that was soft and sensitive. She wasn’t just the fearless business woman I first thought she was.
As we drive through the city I stare at her perfect complexion. The lights of New York at night reflect off the glass, casting a warm, golden glow onto her face. And I had never felt so much admiration for one person in my entire life. Here she was, this hard-working, brave badass, finally taking a step back from her hectic life and just living in the moment. There is a soft smile on her face as she gazes at the lights like they’re the gates of Heaven.
We arrive at my apartment, which is barely bigger than Rachel’s fancy-ass suite, but she didn’t seem to mind. I take her hand and she follows me inside. As soon as we step inside she shuts the door and pins me against the wall, laying a passionate kiss onto my lips. Her lips linger as her tongue intertwines with mine. My hands run through her hair, messing up its styled perfection.
Rachel reaches around and unzips the back of my dress, and I let it fall to the ground. She then slides her hands down my bare back and I pull her even closer.
“I almost like that red dress too much to take it off you,” I say between kisses.
“Too bad.” Rachel unzips her dress and slides it off. My eyes are starstruck. She’s not wearing anything underneath.“I was feeling daring tonight,” Rachel teases as she kisses me again.
Never taking our hands off each other, we stumble our way into the living room and collapse on the couch. She inches her lips down my body slowly. When she kisses underneath my belly button my entire body pulses with energy. She pulls down my thong and begins to work her magic with that devil of a mouth. I cry out with pleasure and want to come at that very moment but hold it back. She gets her hands involved and it is almost too much to handle. My body squirms with joy and I grab her hair, never wanting her to stop.
She starts moving faster and I feel myself getting closer to the end. At the very last minute, she shoots her head up to my face and gives me a big long, juicy kiss. And I experience the most earth-shattering climax I’ve ever had.
It takes me several moments to begin to catch my breath.
“How’d you do that?” I say between breaths.
Rachel straddles me. “It’s a specialty.”
"My turn," I say confidently. But in reality, I was freaking out. I had no idea what I was doing. I rarely ever did this on a man, let alone a woman.
“If you say so,” Rachel says as we switch positions on the couch.
“Okay,” I take a deep shaky breath, obviously hesitant.
“Hey,” Rachel puts her hand on my arm, “It’s okay.”
I smile and then go down on her, starting out very gently and cautiously, but soon enough easing myself into it. At first, it felt so very uncomfortable for my tongue to be licking a woman’s body, but then the sweet scent of her skin soon made the perfect companion to my mouth.
“Holy shit, Kelly…” She was clearly enjoying it.
I was now fully confident in the way my mouth worked on her skin, and was determined to make her come. Her breathing gets harder and her body begins pulsing. I rub my hands up and down her inner thighs which makes her open up her legs even wider. Before long, Rachel screams and she comes. I feel proud and daring, all the sudden ready for anything else we were going to do.
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