Chapter Five
I park my car in front of my office building, it seems quiet though I know there is drama going on inside. I’ve had enough of that this week to fill a tv series, I am not quite decompressed from this morning’s events. Coffee. I never had my coffee. There’s a coffee shop in my building, but it’s closed today. I have to walk two blocks to a coffee bar I’ve never been to and that I’m hoping isn’t too busy. As I make my way down the tree-lined streets, my thoughts are all over the place. From utter disbelief, annoyance and then to curiosity about Tasha and her brother. What happened to him? He was young enough to still probably live with his parents. And Tasha, she had this fierceness about her, but was she annoying. I almost walked past the coffee shop, I was so lost in thought. Of course, the line was long and the crew behind the counter seemed like it was everyone’s first day. My phone rang again. It was the office, of course. They had given me such short notice and on a day that I definitely should not be going into the office-the least they could do was have a little patience. Not even a half hour had passed since they first called. I answered in a huff and told them I would be there within ten minutes. That seemed like a pipe dream. The line was growing longer behind me by the minute. Finally, it was my turn. But the barista had other plans. Her back to me, she was messing with something that looked like it could wait. “Uhhem” I said as I cleared my throat. “I know you guys are busy but I’ve been waiting and it’s my turn…” She turns but walks the opposite way. I wave my arms up to try to get her to come back. That doesn’t work so losing any semblance of patience I had, I whistle. When she does turn around, my heart drops. “I should have known it was you, the loudest and rudest one here.” Tasha grunted. “Are you stalking me now? Can you not just get over it?” she yells.
“It’s not like I wanted to see you either!” I said, my voice going up as I got angrier. “What do you want?” Tasha asks dryly, “I haven’t got time for this” she says as she gestures to the growing line of impatient customers. “Like, I do?” I yelled. “You made me so late this morning and are still doing it!” The manager comes out and gives Tasha a “what the hell look”. I smile smugly. “Is there a problem, ma’am?” he asks me sweetly. “Yes, your barista here did not greet me, took forever to take my order and is now arguing with me.” I say as I look Tasha directly in the eyes. The manager takes a deep breath of exasperation and shakes his head. Looking at the line and the franticness that is going on behind the counter, he says, “Tasha, you’re fired. This was the last straw. You’ve been late multiple times because of your brother-I’m sorry, I just-you gotta go.” Tasha raises her eyebrows in disbelief but knows she can’t argue. She gives me the evillest glare I have ever seen and without a word, whips off her apron, gestures towards the customers and says, “good luck” as she walks off.
“Wait!” I scream, I push past the line and out the door following Tasha. My smug satisfaction has turned into a sense of panic and disgust at myself. What did I do? “Tasha, please!” I plead. “You’ve done more than enough Michelle, just leave it.” “I’m so so sorry, I had no idea they would fire you. Really. Please, let me do something!” Tasha meant what she said and she continued walking to her car. I could hear the murmurs around me as patrons watched the drama unfold before them. “Tasha, I can get you a job where I work! It’s just the office next door!” I scream to her. No response. I’m left on the sidewalk, looking pathetic and feeling very ashamed.
Chapter Six
I drive around, not wanting to go home and make William feel badly for what happened to me. I am not sure what I want to do right now but cry and get angry. What a bitch. Cannot believe what Michelle did this morning. I’m glad she feels awful, she very well should. I shouldn’t have argued with her though, that’s for damn sure. What the hell I say, as I make a U-turn and head home. I shouldn’t be wasting gas right now. Then I go into a tailspin of how am I going to pay the bills? My job as a paralegal should be more than enough but it barely covers our rent, car payments and William’s therapy sessions. That job made it to where I could breathe a little every month. I pull into the driveway and lean back in my chair. I don’t want to fight with William anymore, not today. I don’t have it in me. All I want to do is sleep but since I have this free time, I should try and study. I wearily get out of the car and walk inside. William is watching television and completely ignores me. I almost get offended he doesn’t ask why I’m home again but think that’s ridiculous, I should be thankful he doesn’t care. I grab my books and head up to my room. The Bar exam is coming up, think of this as a blessing, I say to myself. I open the book, set my notes up, turn on my desk lamp and begin. I begin staring at the page and reading the same sentence over and over. Putting my pencil down, I stretch and look outside. It’s a beautiful day, I never get to stop and just relax. Maybe that’s what I should do? My phone rings, if that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is. I see it’s my friend Lauren. I answer and vent to her, telling her about this morning and what happened at the coffee shop. “Come for a drink with me.” She pleads, “Talk to me, you’ll feel better.” I tell her that I already do and yes, I will go meet her. It’s almost noon at this point and a cocktail sounds just right. I don’t dare look at my bank account, I shouldn’t be spending money on this but one will be ok and I really need this time to myself. I pull up the bar and Lauren and our other friends are sitting on the patio. It’s full of lush green plants and flowers, white tents shade the tables and a man-made lake sits behind us. It really is what I need. “Hey girl” Lauren says, “What can we get you?” Two cocktails and a big lunch later- I’ve explained the story to everyone. They’ve heard about William’s antics before but most of them just don’t understand the burden it is to take care of him, they don’t understand why I would do this to myself when there are other options. I tell them there aren’t other options in my book. The bill comes and I regret having as much fun as I did. There’s $40 that could have gone towards so many other things. I think about the job offer Michelle more or less shouted at me. Her office was the only one next door, it would be convenient. Whether she meant it or not, I should call her back and see-I need something-and fast. But I swear, if the job is as her assistant or something, there is no amount of money that would make me do that.
Once home, I reluctantly dial her number. “Tasha!” she says, a little too enthusiastically. “Hi..” I say, trying to feign politeness. “I’m again, so very sorry about this morning, I- I interrupt her, “Look, I’m over it-if you can tell me more about this job opportunity of course.” “Yes, yes, absolutely!” Her eagerness was endearing, I could tell she felt bad, I almost wanted to apologize more myself but thought that for now, I’d let her squirm a bit. As she told me about the job, I started to get excited. The hours would be better than working at a coffee shop and the money would be consistent. “The boss can be…hard to read. If you have time tomorrow, why don’t we meet up and I can coach you on the interview?” “Sure,” I said. “That sounds great, thanks again”. “No no, thank you for letting me help-I really am- “so sorry” I said, finishing her sentence. She laughed, “yes, so sorry”. “I’ll see you tomorrow at your place.” I responded. “Looking forward to it…” she said. I thought I could hear something else in her voice…flirtatiousness? Nah, this girl is as straight as an arrow.
Chapter Seven
I find myself slightly nervous at the prospect of Tasha coming to my house, though I can’t put my finger on why. I change my outfit more than a few times, light some candles, then blow them out, pace around the house until finally I hear a knock at the door. “Hey, Tasha” I say with a smile, “Please, come in.” “I know this job might be a little boring but really nothing ever happens, as the security guard you make a few rounds in the evenings and that’s it.” “Actually, I think it will be pretty good. I can study at night, I’m a night owl anyway”. “What are you studying for?” “The Bar.” Tasha says, as if she thinks I’ll be surprised, and I kind of am. The term beauty and brains c
omes to mind.
“I have a lot of ambition for myself” Tasha says as she begins to take out her notepad and pen. She looks at me with a sincerity and her tough exterior is replaced by a fragility I had not seen in her. “I can tell” I respond and sit across from her. We go over the basic interview questions and get into what her job would entail. I tell her about the boss and owner of the company but before we know it, we’re off-track and discussing our life, our hobbies, our friends-and it turns out we have more in common than either of us thought. “You like that tv show too?” I say in disbelief, “None of my friends appreciate the humor!” Our eyes linger a little bit longer than normal before I look away. I bite my lip and say, “We need more coffee, let me start another batch”. “I really should probably go…” Tasha says, looking at her watch. “I can’t believe it’s been three hours”. “Time flies when you’re having fun” as they say, I add. “Thank you for everything today” Tasha says and smiles sweetly at me. Her hand rests on my arm briefly, before pulling away. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it, “My absolute pleasure” I say and let my fingers rest in hers before I also let go. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow at work” she says playfully. “Yes, meet me downstairs for coffee before your interview!” “It’s a date” she says. Butterflies take over my stomach when she says this and my mind is as confused as ever.
The next morning I am up earlier than I have ever been. I’m nervous for Tasha and really want her to get this job. I’m also excited to know I’ll be seeing her again today. I put on my best suit. It’s bright blue and brings out my eyes, a crisp white shirt underneath accentuates my curves. As I give myself a once over in the mirror, a fleeting thought passes over me- “I hope Tasha likes this outfit”. I shake it off and head out to work. Pulling up to the building, I see her car already in the lot. She must be so nervous; I think as I park next to her. “Good Morning, sunshine!” I say with a smile. Then hold my breath while I wait for her response, so lame Michelle, I think to myself. “Hahaha Good Morning to you, too” she chuckles back. Getting out of the car she hands me a cup of coffee. “For all your help,” she says. “Tasha, that’s very sweet of you but totally unnecessary. “Come on, we’ve got some time, let’s go in and review.” Walking in, she holds the door open for me and lets me pass. It’s another small gesture and it’s very sweet. We sit down at my desk and discuss some talking points. I try to stay focused but my eyes can’t keep off her and my mind is going crazy with thoughts of her. “I really like your suit” Tasha says, interrupting my thoughts. “Oh? This? I say. “Thanks.” A rush of glee shoots through me. “It’s about time for your interview” I say, looking at the time. Go ahead and check-in with the secretary and please come see me and tell me how it went after!” “Of course” Tasha says and she gets up and heads to the lobby. I stand up and close the door behind her. What is going on with me? I wonder. I chalk it up to being nervous about her getting this job. I genuinely want her to be ok. I can barely focus on my work as I keep looking at the time, the interview is taking forever, I think. I begin to wonder if Tasha left after, without stopping in. I feel disappointed and hurt and while I begin to stew on this feeling, there’s a knock on my door.
“Come in” I say, and it’s Tasha. She has a big smile on her face. “The interview went very well” she says. “Thanks to you”. “Oh please, you are a great interviewer and very charming, I have no doubt it went well.” “Please, let me take you to lunch to celebrate” I tell her. “I haven’t gotten the job yet, Michelle, she laughs, don’t get too carried away.” “Please, it would make me so happy”. I retort. “No, you’ve done more than enough.” Tasha’s voice is saying no but she isn’t making any move to leave. “Come on, does it make you feel better if I tell you I can expense it?” I say, raising my eyebrow and giving her a light smirk. “Sure, sure, if you really want to”. “I do, I say. Expensed or not. Let’s go”.
Chapter Eight
We walk to a place across the street, a little café that’s intimate and cozy. We eat and talk and I am really enjoying getting to know her. The Michelle I met the first time, well, I must have caught her on a bad day. The Michelle I’ve gotten to know isn’t as high maintenance and dramatic or as rude as I once thought. My phone rings, it’s her office. We lock eyes in a silent excitement as I answer. “This is Tasha” I say, my eyes never leaving hers. “Really? Thank you so much” I say, giving her the thumbs up. She reaches over and touches my thigh and gives it a little squeeze. “Great, see you tomorrow then!” I hang up and say, “I guess we’re co-workers now, huh?” “You’re stuck with me” Michelle says with a laugh. “Not mad about it” I respond, and I really mean it. I rest my hand on hers-she realizes her hand has been on my leg this whole time and she slowly pulls back, embarrassed. “I guess this is a celebratory lunch after all” I say, reassuring her. “Absolutely, Cheers to you Tasha” she says and raises her water glass as if it were champagne. As Michelle begins telling a story about someone at work, my mind wanders to the long hours ahead of me and how hard life is going to be over the next few months. Working the night shift is not ideal in a lot of ways but at least I can study and the stress will be minimal. Except that William will be home alone at night. But at least I will get to see Michelle everyday, at least for a little bit before her shift ends and mine begins. As I try to refocus my attention on her, I begin to think that this won’t be so bad after all…
Chapter Nine
My nerves are shot. Adrenaline is rushing through my body and my heart is beating rapidly. I’ve been told I need to fire Jack from IT. This is not in my job description and to top it all off, Jack has been a great employee, at least from what everyone around the office has said about him. This isn’t the first time I’ve been made to do this but I’d like it to be the last. My palms are sweaty as I shake Jack’s hand as he comes in my office to sit down. “Hi Jack.” I begin. I say it almost too solemnly and his expression changes. “I’m really very, very sorry to be the one to tell you this…” I begin. I give him the trademark spiel, trying my best to let him know I disagree with the decision without saying it. He loses his temper, rightfully so, but I never figured Jack as being so aggressive. He begins shouting and not giving me a chance to respond. My door, luckily, isn’t closed all the way and my eyes keep darting to the hall to see if anyone will walk by and stop him. “Jack, I’m really sorry, this wasn’t-he comes around my desk now. Jack, look-they are giving you severance, please just-” He raises his hand to me and I am terrified. He slams it on the desk and throws papers to the floor. I’m begging him to calm down, telling him I am going to call security just when Tasha walks in. With her uniform on, she looks even more fierce, even for a woman, she exudes this masculine, confident energy. “Sir, step back from Ms. Stevens” she says with defiance. Jack “comes to” now that he has an audience. It helps that Tasha is tall and strong to boot. My hands are clasping the back of my chair as I was using it for protection. My office is a mess, with papers on the floor and his chair overturned. Another security guard from the floor below comes in as well and helps Tasha escort Jack out of the building. There’s now a group of employees in the hall, looking through my glass walls. My co-worker Marie, steps in to check if I’m ok. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. If it wasn’t for Tasha…” Marie gives me a hug and helps me pick-up the papers on the floor. “I just need to be alone for a few minutes, I tell her. “Thank you.” She gives me a sympathetic nod and walks out, closing my door. I draw my blinds so nobody can see in and sink into my chair. I cannot believe what happened or what could have happened. My mind raced, those bastards that I work for-they didn’t even tell me why he was getting fired-if it was for this kind of behavior they definitely should have warned me or had someone in here with me. Anger is rising inside me but I’m still a bag of nerves. Shaking, I put my sweater around me when I hear a knock. “Michelle, it’s me” Tasha says as she cracks the door. “May I come in?” “Oh yes, thank you” I say as I get up and come around my desk. Suddenly I’m hugging her. My a
rms wrapped around her, in a warm embrace. “If you hadn’t come by…” “I know, I can’t believe that man. He gave us a hard time getting out of the building but, you won’t have to worry about him. I calmed him down enough. His problem isn’t with you, you know.” “It sure seemed like it. He raised his hand to me” I said. “I know, I know” and she pulled me in closer. She smelled of men’s aftershave, but it fit her, it blended with the scent of her hairspray, an oddly comforting juxtaposition. Her embrace was strong and solid yet womanly and soft. I breathed her in. Gently, she let go of me but kept hold of my arm. “Are you going to be ok?” she asked. “Yes, I’m just a little shaken.” “Why don’t you just go home-there’s only an hour left of your shift anyway. “Yes, that might not be a bad idea.” I say and give her a half-hearted smile.
Chapter Nine
I’m taking a hot bath when my phone chimes. It’s Tasha. I can’t help but get butterflies when I see her name appear on my screen. “Meet for a drink tonight? 9:00?” I’m giddy. “Yes, sounds wonderful” I respond. I sit back and let the warm water slush over me. I am excited to see her yes, but this feeling, this feeling is one that I get before a date with a guy. These butterflies, I have felt before…though not quite in the same way. What is happening to me? Am I…attracted to this woman? I sit and ponder what that would mean, what that does mean…. I decide to go with it. I feel this way for a reason, but is she into me? I get out of the tub and let the water drain. I look at myself, bare in the mirror. Wondering what it would be like to have a woman’s eyes on me instead of a man’s. My breasts are small but perky. My shape petite, my legs long for my 5’3 frame. I am thin, slightly toned, though could be better. My ass is what I get the most compliments on, I have one of those. My blond hair falls to my shoulders in a long bob, my eyes are bright blue and my skin could be compared to porcelain. I think of myself standing next to Tasha, her 5’10 body, tanned and golden, her brunette hair and brown eyes a contrast to mine. I feel myself getting aroused with the thought and let myself feel that for a moment. I run my fingers down my body-I’m wet. I lay down on the bed and get under the sheets. I explore this new-found feeling-could I really get off to the thought of being with a woman? I think of her. I see her face, her smile, I remember her scent. I imagine her kissing me, taking control. I picture her hands on my breasts, her tongue in my mouth and before I know it-I’ve released. It took a mere few minutes just thinking of her. “I guess this a thing” I laugh to myself. I sit on the edge of my bed and laugh to myself. “I definitely need that drink now.” And with that, I begin getting ready for my “date” with Tasha.
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