Chapter Five
On Saturday mornings at nine, we have breakfast. This has been a standing roommate tradition since our first week together. Haley regales me with tales of parties and boys-and girls-and people she’s met and I sit and listen and catch her up on what she may have missed in class. 9 comes and goes and by 9:30, I’m starving. She hasn’t texted or anything and I decide she must have forgotten and head to the dining hall in case she went there first. There’s no sign of her but waiting this long meant the dining hall was full. I groaned as I saw the taken tables and prayed for an opening, just one, where I could sit in peace. I was famished and grabbed a waffle, a large side of eggs, some coffee and some juice. I made my way to the continuously growing line when I realized I forgot my dining card. “Oh I am so sorry.” I said as I reached into my bag to see if it had fallen out. I could feel the impatience of people behind me, “So sorry!” I said again when I felt an arm brush against me. “Here, use mine.” And a hand gave a dining card to the very fed-up and very lackluster clerk. “Oh, hey.” I said, “Thank you so much.” I was mortified that it was Kyle who came to the rescue. “No problem.” He said and smiled at the clerk who beamed back at him, then looked at me with a straight-lipped grin. “Sorry about that, really.” “Hey, it’s happened to me before.” “Well, I won’t bother you anymore.” I said, starting to walk the other way. “Hey, Danielle, wait a second, will you have breakfast with me? As a thank you for me getting you out of a jam?” He looked at me, sincerely. He was wearing glasses today, I had never seen him in those before and it made him look even more handsome but also more gentle than usual. “Ok, sure.” “Don’t you usually have breakfast with your roommate?” He questioned as we sat down at a table with some of his other friends. “I do but she wasn’t anywhere to be found this morning.” I shrugged. “What about your roommate? Were you friends before college?” “Oh, Eric?” he laughed, “No, but we got put together and just clicked. He’s a good guy. His mom came to visit last week and brought us so many homemade cookies. Ridiculous.” “His mom?” It was the first time I had thought of either of them as real, something other than party animals. “How about your mom?” I asked. “My mom is wonderful, but she is a doctor and doing that whole doctors without borders thing so I won’t see her until next summer, but she sends me mail and things and my dad has been down a few times.” I nodded. “What are you going to school for?” “Is this an interview?” he laughed but then winked. “Sports Medicine” I think. “You?” “Psychology.” I said, “I love the mind.” “I can see that.” He said, though I wasn’t really sure what he meant. We continued to talk about school, what high-school was like for us, where we grew up and I began to see a nicer, better side to him. Before I knew it, it was almost lunch time and most of the dining hall had cleared out. “I better get back and see if Haley is home yet.” I said, “Thanks again for breakfast.” He smiled, “The pleasure was mine.” And he took my tray for me and we parted ways.
“There you are!” I said when I entered the room and I saw Haley laying on her bed, phone in her hand. “So sorry! I just got back.” She said, “I had sex with a guy down the hall last night.” She grinned. “What? I was so worried-wait, who?” I jumped on her bed and sat next to her. “Sam, he’s so handsome, not usually my type but we hit it off.” “Had you talked before?” “Not before last night. He’s in my Bio class and we got to talking about that and boom-it happened! He took me to breakfast this morning at this little diner off-campus, it was really cute.” I tried to hide the shocked look on my face but Haley spotted it before I could compose myself. “Danielle, are you a virgin?” she asked without judgement, just out of sheer curiosity. I nodded, putting my head in my hands. “Oh, it’s ok, it’s fine, really!” she said, putting her arm around me. “I know, I just, I don’t know about anything!” I said. “You will, you’ll meet someone and it will feel right and it will just happen.” I nodded again, unsure of what to say. “Have you met anyone you might want to….?” And she made a gesture with her hands that made me laugh. I smiled and said, “Well, I ended up having a little breakfast date of my own this morning!” I told her what happened and how Kyle came to the rescue. “See, I told you he wasn’t a bad guy!” “I know, I know.” I said, sheepishly. “It was really very sweet.” “So, do you want to bang him?” she said bluntly, making us both laugh out loud. “I don’t know, I mean he is very attractive!” She nudged me with her elbow. I looked at her and felt a surge of courage surge through me and blurted out, “So what’s it like being with a woman?” she laughed a lot at that one and said, “Better than being with a man in so many ways, but I think I better explain to you about what it’s like being with a guy first.” I laughed, “Ok, ok, go for it.” And we sat in our room and laughed and talked and for the first time I really felt like everything might be ok.
Chapter Six
On Sunday’s I usually lock myself up in the library but it was a gorgeous sunny day and temperatures had risen enough to not have to wear a coat so I decided to do the homework Haley had assigned me. “Flirt with someone new tomorrow!” she had said yesterday at the end of our conversation. “I could never!” I protested, but I knew I had to try. I walked around campus looking for any opportunity. It had been an hour and I had about given up when I ran into Kyle again. It was a sign. He was out on a run and his grey sweatshirt was soaked through. He removed the earbuds from his ears and I heard Tom Petty streaming out; I was a little surprised but I ignored it. “Hey you” I said, trying my best to say what Hayley might. “Hey to you” he said with a smile. “ Sorry I’d hug you but as you can see…” and he gestured to his clothes. “Not a problem” I said and gave him a slight side hug. “Alright, a girl that doesn’t mind a little sweat, I like that.” “It would take more than that to turn me off.” I said coyly. He licked his lips and smiled, “Noted!” he said. “Where are you off to?” “Oh, just taking a stroll around campus before hitting up the library.” “Yeah, I should probably do that, too.” He said chuckling. “You can join me anytime.” I offered. “I might take you up on that.” He put his earbuds back in his ears and tapped his heart, “Gotta keep that rate up!” See you later, Danielle.” “Hope so” I said back. He ran off and grabbed my phone and texted Hayley. “Homework finished, I think you’d ace me.” I said. I was proud of myself and hopeful I would run into him later. I decided to text Sarah too, “How are things with the BF?” I asked, using a plethora of emojis. She responded almost immediately. “Pretty good, the sex is amazing LOL” she said back. “Have you yet?” “Don’t you think I would tell you?” I shot back. I quickly added, “But I met someone recently so time will tell!” She sent back heart emojis and I laughed, shaking my head at the thought of me actually being with Kyle. It was hard to imagine. It was actually hard to imagine me being with anyone. What if I don’t know what to do? I shook that thought out of my head, I didn’t want to dwell on something I had no idea about.
As I headed back to the dorm, I ran into Hayley on her way to work. “So you flirted, huh chica?” and she eyed me up and down. “Sure did and Kyle was very responsive.” I replied, raising my eyebrows in jest. “You’re into Kyle?” she laughed, “Setting your sights high, mad respect roomie.” “But wait, I thought you said he was obnoxious?” she looked confused. “He can be, but he’s also incredibly hot so there’s that.” She laughed, “The pussy knows what it wants – listen to it!” I covered my eyes and let out a loud laugh “Hayley!” I said, “Oh you can’t be so modest if you want to bang!” she winked, “Gotta go, I’ll see you later!” and she was off. She was probably right. I probably needed to shed the modest good-girl imagine I had used to protect myself. I turned left instead of right and decided I need to do a little shopping today.
In the store, I thought about what Hayley wore and how she carried herself with so much confidence. My clothes consisted of button downs, blazers and jeans. There was nothing tight, nothing sexy, nothing exciting. I grabbed anything I thought I could look good in and headed t
o the dressing room. From tight little black dresses to sexy off-the-shoulder tops, in one afternoon I had reinvented myself. I handed over my credit card without looking at the price because I was too excited about the change. But something else was missing. As I passed the store windows I realized what it was. My hair. I darted into the nearest salon I could find and told the hairdresser, “Chop it.” An hour later, I had a long bob that gave me volume and definition. I looked good, I looked older, I looked sexier. I texted Hayley, “Come back to the dorm right away, I have something to show you!” “Already here! Where are you?” “On my way!” I practically ran back to our room and I burst open the door. Charlotte was over and she and Hayley were sitting on her bed, talking. “Well look at you, you are hot!” Hayley jumped off the bed and made me twirl. “And what are all these?” I dumped out my goods on the bed. “My new wardrobe.” I grinned. “Damn, girl, you really went for it!” Charlotte chimed in, “It’s a good look. Congrats.” I smiled at her, “Thanks, Charlotte.” I hung up my clothes and told Hayley, “We should probably go out and celebrate tonight, right?” She squealed. “Roomie, I’ve been waiting for you to say that for forever!”
Chapter Seven
Monday morning and I was on top of the world, after class I headed to the cafeteria instead of having lunch in my room just in case I ran into Kyle. I was embarrassed that I was trying to see him but I couldn’t help it, he made me curious about him. I paid for my meal, vowing to never forget my card again and looked around for an open spot. Hayley had class for another hour so I would be on my own, until I saw Kyle wave at me from across the way. I smiled but immediately regretted coming as he was sitting with his friends. Maybe I’ll just say hi and continue on my way, I told myself as I walked toward him. “Hey Danielle, pull up a seat.” There was one spot left, in front of him and next to Eric. “Um, I don’t know.” I said, trying to think of an excuse. “Come on, you gotta eat! Sit!” I obliged and sat across from him. “These are my friends, well you know Eric, Stephanie, Tanner, Jacob and Michelle.” “Hey, guys.” I said, I could feel the confidence draining from my body. I had this horrible feeling he would tell everyone about me forgetting my meal card the other day or crack a joke about it-but he said nothing. He asked about the weekend and soon the topic of football came up. “Are you planning on going to the game this weekend?” he asked me. “You should join us, Danielle!” Michelle says. Feeling grateful to be included, I agree to go. “Sure, I wouldn’t miss it.” Kyle smiles and briefly grabs my hand, “Perfect.” He says with a smile. Did my flirting the other day make a difference? I wondered. I sat with them longer than I had planned and as they trailed off to class, Kyle and I remained. “I’m glad I sat with you today.” I offered, picking up my tray. “Me too, we should do this again on purpose.” He said. I blushed. “Of course, anytime.” He took my tray, “As long as you have lunch with me, I’ll take your tray.” He said. Damn, he was charming. “Thanks, Kyle.” I said, taking him in. I could see the muscles in his arms flexed under his shirt. I wondered what they would feel like wrapped around me. “Can I walk you back?” he asked, putting my backpack over his shoulder. “Sure, that would be great.” As we headed towards the dorms, he kept grazing my body with his arms and even joked with me once, putting his arm around me. He smelled masculine, of cologne and musk. I had to crane my neck to look up at him, at 6’4 he was a sight. “Don’t ask me why I don’t play basketball” he joked, when he saw me sizing him up. “Just not my sport.” “Ok, ok, sure you get that a lot!” “Yeah, especially as a kid. I’m a runner though. They want me on the track team actually, but not sure my grades are where they want them to be.” Before I could offer to help, he changed the subject. “So game this weekend, you’re coming, you promise?” “I do. I promise.” I said and he handed me my bag and gave me a hug. “Thanks for hanging out today.” I said. “Anytime.” He said and he headed back towards the cafeteria. My heart was soaring and I couldn’t wait to tell Hayley.
That weekend it was the day of the game. I was happy to have my new look as it gave me so much more confidence. I donned our school football tee, jeans, brown boots and my new green army coat to match. Even Hayley gave me props before I walked out. “Have the best time! Maybe I’ll run into you at the after party?” “Text me!” I called out as I left the room. Humming along to myself I almost ran into Kyle. “Going somewhere in a hurry ma’am?” he joked. “Oh, sorry Kyle! I don’t know how I didn’t see you?” “Well, nobody could miss you, you look great.” He smiled and it made me blush. “Well, thanks.” I said and beamed up at him. “Friends are waiting outside, we’ll walk over together.” I nodded, actually looking forward to seeing his friends again. “Hey Danielle!” “So glad you joined!” Michelle said and gave me a small hug as I joined the group. I walked with her and looked back at Kyle who gave me a little nod; happy I was being taken in as part of the group. Getting to the game it was packed. Our school colors of navy and gold were everywhere and the music was blaring. “How have I never been to one of these before?” I said, not meaning to do so aloud. “I’m not sure” Kyle said, “But I’m happy to be the one to take you.” And he led me up the stairs to our seats. It was cold out and Kyle made every effort to keep me warm. I saw his sweet side emerge and I wondered why he had come off as obnoxious so many times before. It made me question my judgement. Michelle was on the other side of me so I decided to ask her, “How do you know Kyle, you two seem close.” She grinned, “I’ve known Kyle since we were kids in elementary school. Our families are friends back home. He is a really great guy.” She gave me a look that implied she knew I was interested. “Oh, well yes he seems to be.” I nodded and looked over at him as he cheered for our team. “Any girl would be lucky to have him.” She added and I wondered if they had ever hooked up. My poker face, being non-existent she blurted out, “Oh, don’t get the wrong idea. He’s like a brother to me. Seriously. Besides, I’m dating David.” And she pointed to the guy on the field. “Oh, very nice!” I laughed. “Thanks, he’s great. It’s pretty new but Kyle has a few classes with him and he gave me the thumbs up. I gave him the thumbs up on you by the way.” And she squeezed my arm. I was flattered. “Aw, Michelle, I don’t know if that’s where this is going but I appreciate that.” She just shook her head. “I guess we will see.” Michelle responded in a sing-song voice. I bit my lip and let myself look at Kyle again, I think he is a good guy, I resolved as I saw him offering his scarf to Marie, Michelle’s friend behind him and with that, I scooted a little bit closer.
Chapter Eight
Exam week has me in the library all hours of the day and night and any free time in between. It’s a good thing that I enjoy studying or this would be a nightmare. It’s 10:00 on a Saturday night and the place is empty. Even the foreign exchange students aren’t here and they may be here more often than I am. I decide to call it a night and head home. All I can think about is getting in my cozy bed in my warm pajamas and binge-watching t.v. for a couple of hours to relax my mind. I pack up my books and check my phone; zero texts. No surprise there. It’s dark out and I consider calling Sarah but decide against it. I can’t take calling her and telling her I’m coming home from the library on a Saturday night while she’s probably out with her boyfriend. No, I will just walk home in silence. Taking the usual short-cut I use during the day, I find that it is not well-lit in the evenings. The streetlamps aren’t on for some reason and this gives me an eerie feeling. I pick up the pace and the cold wind rushes through me. I find myself wishing Kyle were here with me but I shake the thought from my head. He’s probably at a party or with some girl in his room. I roll my eyes at the thought when I hear footsteps behind me. They sound like they are getting closer. I turn around but see no one so I walk faster. The steps get faster too. My mind flashes to the thought of me being abducted or mugged and a shiver runs down my spine. Why did I take this way? I begin to lightly job when I feel a hand grab my shoulder. I scream and turn around to kick whoever this is. In the dark, I can only tell it’s a ma
n and he’s bigger than I am. “Leave me alone!” I scream and a voice says back, “Hey, it’s me, it’s Kyle, Danielle, it’s ok!” It is Kyle. I feel relief flood over me and my nerves begin to calm. “Oh Kyle, you scared me to death!” He lets out some nervous laughter and apologies, “I’m really sorry! I had no idea you would be so scared, I promise!” “No, no it’s ok!” I say and before I can say anything else he gives me a small hug. “I’m sorry I scared you.” He says and pulls me tightly into him. “It’s ok, I’m ok.” I whisper, my face buried in his chest and his body heat warming me up. I note that I fit perfectly under his arm and that the muscles in his abs are tight and I imagine feeling his skin underneath mine. “Let me walk with you back.” He says and lets go of me. “What are you doing out here?” I ask him, gesturing to the library behind us. “Ah, yeah, well, I’ve gotten myself into a spot. I have been enjoying my freedom too much and haven’t been studying as much as I should have been. I’m behind in almost all my classes, I have so many assignments to turn in and so I’ve been at the library almost every night until this time for the last week.” “I haven’t ever seen you.” I say, surprised that we’ve been the same place all this time. “I head to the top floor, study over by the encyclopedias. I’m a little embarrassed about my need to be there so often for this shitty reason. Don’t want anyone seeing me, I guess. But I know I need to be there.” I soften, I thought Kyle felt he was too cool for everything, I’m happy he felt he could share this with me. “Why are you here so late?” he responds. “Exam week of course. Plus, I like to read ahead in the classes I’m not worried about, keeps me on track for the following assignments. I’m taking a lot of credit hours so I have to stay on top of it.” He nods, “I could learn a thing or two from you, Danielle.” He chuckled and put his arm around my shoulders. “I’m happy to help anyway I can. If you want a study buddy or anything, I’m your girl.” The words came out and I didn’t mean to sound so flirtatious but I let it go. “Oh yeah?” he said and laughed. “So what are you going to do now? I hope not more studying.” “Well, no actually all I want to do is lay in bed and watch t.v. and let my mind melt for a couple hours. I just hope Hayley doesn’t mind.” I say. We continue talking and before I know it, we’re at my door. Music is blaring from inside and I hear a few different voices coming from inside. Haley has her friends over; I remember she told me this was happening. I throw my head back in annoyance. Kyle gives me a frown in sympathy. “So much for a relaxing night.” I groan. “Hey, you know, Eric is out with a girl tonight and won’t be home. I was planning on watching some T.V. too, do you want to hang out in my room for a little bit?” I was unsure. There he was standing before me, looking gorgeous and being sweet and hadn’t I gotten butterflies when he hugged me earlier? “Ok, sure.” I agreed. “Thanks.” We made our way down the hall to his room. It was exactly how I expected it to be. Kyle laid his things on top of his desk, which was surprisingly organized, but Eric’s side of the room was not. Clothes and papers covered his bed and desk. Jackets and electronics were piled high on his chair. “Sorry about his mess.” Kyle said as he shook his head. “He’s not always this messy but this week has been another story.” And he laughed. “It’s ok, makes me appreciate Haley a lot more!” I joked. “Have a seat on my bed, don’t worry, I won’t bite!” he said and offered me a place. I looked around and agreed. We are both adults, I told myself. As I laid there next to him, I tried not to picture the array of girls that have paraded in and out of his bedroom. “What do you want to watch?” he asked me. “A movie sounds good.” I said, “Something like a thriller maybe?” “My favorite genre.” He replied with a grin. We chose one and got comfortable. Dorm beds are by no means large so we were very close together. I found the most comfortable position being me resting against his arm that was around me. As the movie went on, I cozier we got. After a while, I forgot about it, that’s how natural it felt. I realized Kyle wasn’t only a very attractive man but witty too. His commentary on the movie had me in stitches and it made me want to kiss him. I snuggled into him; testing him. He didn’t move, only to tighten his arm around me. I felt his eyes on me, and I turned to him. “Yes?” I said teasingly, drawing out the words. “I’d really like to kiss you, Danielle.” He said. “I gave a small smile and replied, “I guess I can allow it.” I joked and before I could let out a laugh his lips were on mine. They were warm and soft and the stubble on his face tickled me. I liked it. He used his arm to pull me in closer and he parted my lips with his tongue. He was gentle and it was me who moved to take more control. I pushed my tongue into his mouth and placed my hand behind him. He tasted sweet, like an energy drink and it made me grin. “You smile while you kiss?” he said, pulling back. “You taste fruity.” I giggled. “Good, hope you like it! It’s my signature taste.” He joked and leaned in to kiss me again. “You taste sweet too, like cherries.” I shrugged, “I didn’t eat any cherries.” I said, puzzled. “I think it’s probably just you.” He said sweetly and then lightly kissed the top of my head. “I really like you, Danielle.” He said, putting his hand over mine. “I like you too, Kyle.” I responded, giving his hand a squeeze. I kissed him again, feeling the heat in my body begin to build in me. I had never felt this strong of a sensation between my thighs and it scared yet excited me. I wanted to hesitate but the feeling never came. Being with him felt so natural, I realized I had never wanted anyone so badly. I let my hands glide under his shirt and I was rewarded by the hard abs I had been longing to touch. His chest was smooth and his body tan. The light of the T.V. cast shadows over us, faded to black, then shadows again. I caught glimpses of his eyes, his strong chin, his lips. I felt I was doing everything right, but apparently my nervousness was showing. “Do you want to do this, Danielle?” he asked, searching my eyes for a response. “Yes, I do.” I said, my voice cracking a bit in the middle. “Is this..?” he began, wanting to ask but not wanting to embarrass me. “I mean, yeah. It is my first time. Is that ok?” I suddenly had butterflies in my stomach again. Terrified he would laugh at me or send me away. “That’s ok, I just want to make sure you want to this. No pressure.” He said, holding his arms u, “Really.” He was sincere and that made me feel better. “ I want to Kyle, I feel safe with you. I do.” That made him smile and he pulled me in for a hug, kissing my forehead after and that little gesture sealed the deal for me. I kissed him again, my tongue entering his mouth and taking over me like I was possessed. He responded in kind and lifted me up so I was laying on top of him. I took my top off and was so thankful I had chosen to wear my best bra this morning. It was light pink and tight and gave me cleavage, my breasts milky white and perky, my freckles dotted around my neckline and collarbone revealed. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered, as he buried his head into my chest, breathing me in. His nose pressed in between my breasts and his hot breath sending chills down my spine. I felt him grow hard under me and that sent another set of waves over my body. I never felt so ready for anything in my life, talk about exam week. This was one test I was ready to pass.
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