Chapter 6
I wanted a mess. I wanted a small apartment and no money in my account. So long as that meant being happy, and that I could be with Alan, I'd give up everything. That's what my mother didn't understand when she gave me her ultimatum. She'd never actually cared about a person the way I cared about Alan. She was banking on the fact that I'd jut walk away from him, because in her world money was the only thing that mattered.
I had to change this. It became clear to me when she did that that I couldn't just walk away. I'd never met anyone as loving and as generous as Alan. He was a jewel, worth more than all the money in the world, and I was not going to let him run away.
I pushed through traffic, weaving in and out to make things go quicker. When I started entering the southside I had to slow down because people kept running across the street. Two blocks in I gave up altogether and parked at a toll meter.
I rushed through the crowds of people, past thugs and prostitutes huddled up on the corners and groups of children playing. I had to see him. I had to tell him that I understood. He had to know that I wasn't like that. I couldn't let things end like this.
I was just starting to realize what it was I needed to do. He couldn't walk away. He wouldn't. He cared. He had to. But that was hard to accept. I was too rude. The way I acted with him was completely unforgivable, and after what my mother did, I wouldn't have come back either.
It was a risk, walking into his building, but I did it, because I knew what mattered. When I got to his door, it was closed, and there was no sign he'd been there, so I knocked and waited while I dialed his number for the sixtieth time since I left the house.
He didn't answer the door, so I put my ear up to it while I held my phone to the other. I couldn't hear anything in there over the furnace. He might've been there, but if he was he wasn't answering. I pulled back.
“We're sorry, you've reached a mailbox that has not been setup yet. Goodbye.” The mechanical voices urgent tone was a like pure rejection pounding straight through my system. I collapsed against the wall and started crying.
My mother was right. She knew what it took to survive just as well as Alan did. You use what you have, and right then, I didn't have much. I thought I did. Two days ago, I was rich with thousands of dollars at my disposal, but I didn't have anyone in my life that cared about me, and as far as I was concerned that was the only thing that mattered.
I started to get up and walk back downstairs, but something was moving behind me, thumping against the floor. I turned around to see what it was and a bright red blur flashed past me, down towards the other end of the hall.
A young girl, with black hair falling behind her, tripped and landed flat on her face.” Wa-a-a-ah!”
“Are you OK?” I knelt down next to her.
“M-m-my foot.” There was a small scratch on the side of her bare foot.
“Here.” I reached back and pulled out a bandaid I kept in my pocket for my forehead. I placed it over the cut. Then I kissed two fingers and placed them on the cut. “All better.”
“Thank you.” She sniffed. Then she got up to go get her ball and I got a look at her face. Her skin had been scorched and twisted. Only the basic shape of her nose was left. My heart broke.
“You're welcome sweetie.”
She plopped down on the ground next to me. “What's your name?'
“Jake.”
“I'm Maddie.” She took my hand and shook it. “You guess what?” She jumped up and down.
“What?”
“My mommy won't braid my hair because she says I'm not pretty like you are and no man will ever love me.”
“She did, did she?” That shocked me.
“Mm-hmm.” She plopped back down.
“Well, you guess what?”
“What?”
“I'll braid your hair anytime. There's more to life than being pretty.”
“Like money?”
“No. Money doesn't matter either.”
“Maddie!” The woman's deep voice rang down from above.
“Coming, Mommy!” She leaned forward and hugged me. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” She walked off.
“I was wrong.” Alan's voice came from the elevator shaft at the other end of the hall. When I walked in, he grabbed me and pulled me into a passionate kiss. Then he pulled back with his eyes gleaming in the light behind me, staring directly into my own. “Will you forgive me for doubting you, Jake?”
“I came here to be sure I'd never lose you.”
We crashed together like two suns with the force of the cosmos behind us, driving us into his apartment where we collapsed on the bed. He ripped his mouth away and began tearing at my neck, sending bursts of electricity flowing down my spine.
He lifted his head up, met my eyes and tore my shirt open while his hands reached down to grasp my cock. It was already bulging out, stick straight up, aching for his touch. He was slow, his fingers grazing it at first. Then he took it by the base and let his hand slip over it while his tongue slipped through my mouth, searching deep, just as he knew I'd want him to.
He pinched my nipple, and I felt the fiery sensation of his finger roaming over the head of my cock. Fire mixed with fire and melted me like ice.
“O-o-o-oh.” His hand slipped down to the base of my cock and I threw my head back.
“Like that?”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Mmm.” His lips, like melted chocolate, mixed with the sharp jolt of his finger pinching my other nipple and flowed through me, rippling down my stomach, coalescing with the energy that had already built up. It was so overwhelming that I didn't notice he was unzipping my zipper until I felt the air rush in and his hot hand moving furiously over the shaft.
Bolts of lightning, fire and ice, all mixed in one compounding wave, growing in magnitude as he moved his hand furiously over me, up and down until I couldn't tell where his hand was or where my cock began, just that I'd lost everything but that one feeling moving through me.
“Oh, that's so hot,” I exclaimed breathlessly.
“You like it when I rub your cock?” His words were dark and tempting. He dove in and tore at my neck, my chest and finally my nipples where he focused on moving his tongue around the ring.
His angel kisses, his hands and his body pressed against mine, all wove into a delicate tapestry of sensation, so complex and overwhelming that it drove me further into a trance, where I could simply be and experience the full sensation, the desire and ultimately the desperation.
I needed him to pleasure me just as much as I wanted to pleasure him, to mold together into one, singular entity based on nothing more than affection and gratification. With him, I could do that. I could forget who I was and focus on nothing but satisfaction.
His lips were moving down my stomach now, as his hand caressed my shaft, massaging it, twisting up and down while he blessed me with sweet fire. He was moving closer, down my trail of soft fuzz, past my belly button. He knew how to pull me in, press his teeth in just enough to send me reeling and pull up, all so he could do it again. He met my eyes with a sly grin and unbuttoned my pants.
Then, without warming, he flicked the tip of my head with his tongue and I nearly died. He was hot and wet, a burst of summer rain in the desert, and he wasn't going to stop. His mouth engulfed my cock, and his lips slipped over it while he twisted his head, diving down deep to make sure I really felt it, and I did. I felt every movement, every twist and turn, every second of it.
He was a wet brand, driving the pleasure in deep until the head of my cock was in the back of his throat, deeper than I thought it could ever go. He left it there, met my eyes and pinched my nipple with a muffled laugh. He played me like an instrument with my cock in his wet grip, and his fingers running over my the edge of my nipples flickering over the tips. All I could do was lay my head back, taking in the tickling sensation—the fire
He could have me, every bit of me. There was nothing, nothing except that swe
et pleasure and the man I loved appreciating me the way I deserved.
He drove his head down deep, hit the perfect spot and my mouth flew open. “Oh, dear god, yes. Don't stop.” I gently placed my hands behind his head. He took the chance to increase the tempo, and twisted his hand around me.
“You like that?” He lifted his head up.
“Oh, yeah.” He was toying with me, taking his time, rubbing his tongue over the hidden places, finding them out and filling them up, cementing our connection. He was attentive and loving, clearly gaining his pleasure from the look on my face in the midst of rapture.
I didn't understand it at first. I'd never had a man take his time. It was always about the race, but he didn't see it that way. He wanted to tell me just how much he cared and worship me the way he believed I deserved to be worshiped, and there was nothing sweeter.
I gave myself over to him, allowing him to sense my needs and meet them. His tongue was an electric whip, thrashing against my head, my shaft, over my balls with the care only a lover can offer to another. He was building something inside me, an explosion I never thought possible. It would tear through me and I knew that I would lose myself in it. How could I possibly withstand such a thing?
As the energy built, and the sparks gathered, I began to lose sight of where I was. The only thing that existed was his love, pouring over me, tearing down my inhibitions.
Then, all of a sudden he pulled up and straddled my chest. He was swinging back and forth, less than an inch from my mouth with his dick standing up, waving back and forth. I was like a dog, moving my head ready to snatch up the sweet meat. I could already feel my mouth salivating, just aching for it.
“You wanna suck my cock, huh?” He moved his hand up and down the shaft. I watched the foreskin move over the head and back again in a succulent gesture that drove my head forehead, but he held me back.
He knew how badly I wanted it, that I needed him to fill me up, and how badly I needed to see his eyes roll into the back of his head. I wanted him to know that I appreciated him, that I didn't care where he was from or how much money he had. I loved him, and that was all I needed.
His hand was moving faster over his cock. He reached around and grabbed mine by the base. “I bet you want me to choke you with it, huh? Just stick it on in down there. You do, don't you?” he was moving his hand up and down my shaft again. I wasn't sure I could hold it. A wet stream was ready to pour out of me.
“Do it,” I demanded.
He thrust his hips forward with his hand on the back of my head and pushed me into it, deep in the back of my throat where he let it rest until I could barely handle it and he pulled back, allowing me to grab him by the base and twist my head and hand around over it.
It wasn't satisfaction, just a tease, like his thumb moving over the head of my cock, so slowly that I could feel the electricity tracing long with it.
We moved faster, in time with one another, pressing in and out, as his breath raced and my lips stretched wide to take his massive dick inside me. It didn't matter how deep he went it would never be enough. Even if his hot stream filled me up, I'd still want more. I needed more.
He knew that, I knew he did, because he pulled out just enough to allow me to flick my tongue over his head while I watched his lips purse and his eyes roll back. I wanted him to push through me, but he wasn't going to allow that. He was going to draw it out.
With one final thrust he pushed through deep and held my head down so close that I could feel his balls grazing my chin. Then he pulled out with a laugh and began inching further and further down, straddling my chest with his dick moving over my stomach.
“Say you want it.” He grabbed his cock by the base and waved it up and down with such tantalizing motion that I threw my head forward, but he was too far back now. I couldn't reach it. “Say it.” He commanded while he moved his hand over his dick.
“Yeah?” He moved his hand back and flicked my hole. I jolted back. “You do want it, don't you?” He moved his finger around the rim. I could barely talk I was so entrance by the feathery pull that was pulling me closer. I wanted it alright, and though I knew I was going to get it, he kept me wondering, pulling his finger back and driving it forwards again until my body was pulsing with desire. A rush took over when his finger dipped inside and he began moving over my prostate, sending ripples of sweet pressure through me.
“Like that...” I whispered. “Just like that.” he seemed to have an almost psychic sense of what I needed, what my body wanted and the spots that shocked my system. It was beautiful.
He moved further in, always paying careful attention to my g-spot, never too fast, but by no means slow. He took his time, moving deeper and deeper, allowing my body to relax and take it.
Finally, he reared up, moved his finger out and suddenly his lips were on me and he was moving inside me. The heat and the sound of his lips smacking combined with his cock pounding through me. He didn't have to be gentle, I could take it, and I did. He drove through me so fast my head spun. My eyes rolled back and I knew that nothing could ever feel so good. It wasn't possible.
How could a simple mortal move with the force of a god? Each movement became another rhythm, another force, all combining with the rapturous power rolling through me.
He lifted his head, with hips still swinging, and met my eyes so he could see my expression. “You like that?”
“Yes.” My voice drew out. “I love it.”
“Good.” He stood up and tore his shirt off. He was magnificent, a working man, both rough and sweet as tender as a teddy bear, but built like a grizzly. He slammed into me with the force of a hurricane and my head flew back.
“Fuck!”
“You like that?” He slammed down deep. I was too overwhelmed by the feeling of him pushing through that I could barely talk. “I bet you do, don't you.” He took his time, swing in and out, slowly, pulling out and pushing back in again.
He knew where I needed him to go. This beautiful, perceptive man could spot exactly what I wanted it and just how to give it to me. I needed him to show me how to be, how to love—just to know that I was appreciated, and that fact had never been more clear than in that moment when started tearing through me.
The force of his movements became a tangible power, flowing into the energy building up inside me, which had by that time become an electric storm, growing and growing as he moved faster with sweat dripping down his bare chest.
He was more animal than man now, driven by his desires and his need to satisfy me. We'd become one cohesive figure moving in time with lightning slamming through and fire racing over my skin. He was moving so fast I couldn't keep track. The feeling was compounding further and further. It wasn't going to stop, but if it didn't I wasn't going to be able to hold up.
His head dipped and our foreheads touched. Then the world stopped and the storm flew out. Everything went black. My body, my mind and my soul drowned in a torrent of lightning flashes and churning water, all raging through me. I had never in my entire life experienced anything so powerful—just astounding.
Once the first wave passed, another began and another until I couldn't keep tracking. I was convulsing and shuddering, just trying to get through it. Then, all of a sudden, it overtook me and there was no fight, not even the concept of it. The wave had a hold on me, and it didn't subside, not until he found my lips and we got lost in one another.
Late that night, when the moment moved me, I stood up and looked out the window towards park where groups of homeless were huddled around the fountain. He came up behind me and kissed me on the neck.
“What made you change your mind?”
“I thought that you were trying to impress me when you brought me to your mother's house. When I saw you two whispering together I figured that you hadn't made a change at all, that you were just trying to look good in front of me. Then I saw you with that little girl. Your expression didn't change when you saw her face. You were more horrified by the way her mother spoke to
her than the way she looked. Then I knew that I was wrong, and you really were the man that I hoped you would be.”
“Thank you.” I wiped my tears.
“I don't want you to think that I'm judging you, Jake. It was just at the start, you know. You're so much more than a pretty face. You're an amazing person. You have no idea just how rare it is to meet somebody that can see themselves for how they are and change for the better. People don't do that.” He took my hand and I turned to look at him. “I love you, Jake.”
“I love you too, Alan.”
But I Want Him
A New Adult Gay Romance
Frank Harris
I had a life that I enjoyed. I had friends and family that accepted my lifestyle.
I had no room for a man in my life.
I had things planned. I knew my future. I did not expect Mitch to be a part of that.
I’ve never had anybody take something that was mine. I heard the stories. I never thought that they would happen to me.
I only met him that once. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Losing my lifeline made it impossible for me to think of anything else.
Tracking him down wasn’t going to be easy. That is until I called him.
Mitch Anderson
I caught his eye. I could see that neither one of us was going to take the leap of faith. It was obvious that he was feigning interest.
I didn’t even think about it. Taking his phone was a knee jerk reaction.
I thought about all those movies that I had watched on nickelodeon. This was my romantic overture.
I wanted him to search in vain to find me. It got tricky when he called me. It was a bold thing to do.
I want him. I don’t care if he’s angry. He’ll get over it and then we can be together.
I knew from the moment that I met him that his phone was his anchor. Losing it must have felt like losing a part of himself. I had found his weakness.
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