Steamy Dorm

by Kristine Robinson

  He could have it back for a price.

  * * *

  Chapter one

  I stood there at the bus stop carrying my briefcase and wearing my trench coat. I felt like a fraud. I may have had the credentials of a lawyer, but playing my music had always been where my heart was. The legal profession was a good way to supplement the many hours of practicing in my garage with my friends. We hadn’t even come up with a name. We had been working on that first album for ten years. I wasn’t even sure that we were taking it seriously.

  I looked at these people and I could testify that I was one of the many drones. We went through life never taking chances. We lived for the job not meaning to let life pass us by. It seemed that one day bled into another. I wanted things to change. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone, but I didn’t know how to. My friends and family think that I’m happy with my 20-year plan, but it had always been like an anchor around my neck.

  I pulled at my tie; feeling like it was choking off my air supply and wondering what it would take to finally break free. Did I have the key or did somebody else hold that promise in the palm of their hand? Why couldn’t I be as happy as some of my friends? They go out of their way to make me feel included. I feel like I’m intruding on their personal space.

  “Frank, you’re going to have to stop daydreaming. You have a new client coming in this morning. I sent all the particulars to your phone like usual. I know that you can’t live without technology ruling your life. I pity you if you ever lose your phone. You have your whole life in it including a directory of your clients and the little black book of names that you don’t think that I know about.” The chatter in my ear was my secretary Lisa. I hired her specifically because of her bookkeeping skills.

  The guys in the office buzzed around her like she was the queen bee. It didn’t hurt that she came from Switzerland and had a thick accent that made you feel like you had been transported to the Alps. She was tall and imposing and I think some guys found that to be an attractive quality.

  “I’ll be in the office in about an hour. I want you to make him comfortable and get him a cup of coffee. I know what you’re going to say. For this one time, I would appreciate that you don’t throw feminism back in my face.” I could see my reflection. It was about that time that I was going to have to go through the rejuvenation technique again. I didn’t know what it was about those herbs, but they worked wonders on the lines around my eyes.

  “I’m sure that I can find something that will be appealing. I know that we discussed this when I came to work with you. We are supposed to be partners. I’m not just a secretary to do your bidding. I don’t do windows, I don’t get coffee and I certainly don’t go and get your dry cleaning for you. I make sure that this office is run at tip-top efficiency. These guys don’t make it easy by vying for my attention.” It was not lost on me the way that they would look at her. It’s the same way that I looked at certain young men that I found to be worthy of my time. There was no way that I was going to dip my ink into the company well. That would be tantamount to business suicide. I hadn’t gone down that road, but I’d heard the horror stories. I had no interest in joining the ranks of those that were being sued for sexual harassment.

  “I just need you to give me a bit of slack. It’s been a rough couple of months. Our clientele has dwindled because of that ambulance chasing charlatan. I can’t even pronounce where he got his license to practice law. He is continually low balling and very rarely does he deliver on his promise. We have a loyal following and the retainers of some influential families. That is keeping us afloat, but we need to generate more than just what we already have.” I heard his name when he sent me a text out of the blue. Mr. Anderson’s legal woes were quite significant. He needed help to navigate the landmines or he was going to jail.

  “I wonder when the last time that you had any fun. In the three years that I have been working for you, you’ve never taken one vacation or sick day. There are those in the office that think that you are not human. That somehow you are any alien race sent down here to make everybody else look bad. I know that things have been rough, but we have weathered everything that has come across our desk. We had some setbacks. That major trial that went south quickly because of a surprise witness didn’t exactly help our reputation.” Lisa was the kind of girl that could make men crawl on bended knee across broken glass to be with her. Her breasts were a D cup marvel of surgical engineering that really made them a focus point.

  I’d never been afraid of using sex as a weapon. She was that piercing arrow of enthusiasm and persuasion that I pulled out of my quiver any time that I felt that I was losing a client. The way that she bent over, showed off a bit of skin and even flirted shamelessly with the client led to a major shift in their decision-making process. I was actually quite jealous of her ability to make them pant after her like salivating dogs.

  “I promise that if we land this client that I will take a vacation. I’ve had my eye on going to Mexico for quite some time.” I saw the bus approaching. I saw this guy smiling behind his paper. I felt like he was watching me. I disconnected from Lisa long enough to step onto the bus to see that it was standing room only. There was one seat left. I could’ve easily snatched it, but I bowed out politely to a young woman that seemed to be in the family way.

  I stood with several others feeling like cattle. I wanted nothing more than to return to my guitar. I was told several times I was very good, but I never did pursue it in the right way.

  I found myself jostling back and forth. I was rubbing up against this young man with a mane of blond hair that had him looking like a god that had been sent down from Mount Olympus.

  “I know exactly what you’re feeling. I wouldn’t even be here except that my car has broken down for the umpteenth time. That will teach me not to buy a domestic brand. They’re usually more trouble than they’re worth.” This had never happened to me before. I was usually more personable, but for some reason, I wasn’t all that much in a talkative mood.

  I glanced towards him and I tried to say something, but nothing came out. I could talk the ear off of a jury for an hour. I couldn’t even say hello to the man that I was going to use to fuel several of my dreams.

  “There’s no reason to be rude. If you don’t want to talk, then you could just say so. This is the reason why I don’t take public transportation. I have better conversations with myself in my car. I know that I’m never going to argue with myself.” I didn’t mean to offend him, but everything that I was trying to say got jumbled up in a way that sounded like gibberish in my head.

  I cleared my throat a couple of times and then the bus came to a resounding halt. I was thrown to the ground. I landed awkwardly on my wrist feeling a kind of pain that shot straight up to the top of my shoulder.

  I wiggled my fingers and was thankful to learn that I had mobility. There was nothing broken, but there was a definite discomfort. I felt like a damn fool and even more so when I got up to learn that my phone was missing.

  Chapter two

  I got down on my hands and knees for the next 20 minutes making people feeling comfortable as I searched underneath them for any sign of my lifeline. It was unnerving to not have it. It was like a piece of me had been ripped away leaving me with a phantom pain that I had to endure.

  I had hard copies at the office, but I was more into the digital aspect of keeping records. It wasn’t just the files, but it was also the Rolodex of names that I had amassed over my lengthy five-year career. There was no way that I was going to remember all the private telephone numbers. To search out each one was going to be time-consuming. Those that wanted their privacy kept close to the vest would not have any easy way for me to find their number through regular channels.

  I tried not to panic, but it was hard when I knew that somebody had my phone. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but can I borrow your phone for just one second. I just want to call my phone and hopefully, it’s here somewhere that I can hear it and get it back in
my hands where it belongs.” I went with the least resistance. The mother to be didn’t look very happy, but I think she remembered how I had been a gentleman and gave her the seat.

  “No long distance calls. I need it back before I get to my stop. You have less than 5 minutes.” She seemed stressed and in a major need of pampering. A massage and someone catering to her whims would be the perfect gift for any woman that was about to give a man the blessing of a child. I wanted to adopt, but not without a man in my life.

  I called my phone and listened intently to see if there was any sign of it on the bus. I didn’t hear a damn thing. My heart sank with the knowledge that I might never find it again. It rang incessantly. I was about to give up when somebody came on the other end of the line.

  “I know that it was wrong, but I wanted to get your attention. This was the best way that I could do that. I do have your phone. I saw it lying there and I felt compelled. It’s people like you that make me believe that there are no good ones left. I’m willing to give you a second chance, but you’re going to have to play by my rules. A buttoned-down man like you must think that he has the world by the tail. It’s about time to show you that control is fleeting at best.” I didn’t know who this was, but I was anxious to make some kind of arrangement to get my phone back.

  “I don’t know what you want, but I will give you anything to have my phone back. Name your price. I can be very generous, but I wouldn’t push your luck. It might be inconvenient, but I can easily get almost everything that I have on that phone again. It would just be so much easier to meet up someplace so that we can conduct negotiations.” I was treating this like he was a suspect and I was grilling him on the stand to trip him up.

  “Counselor, you’re going to have to be very careful or your true colors are going to shine through. I’m not going to make this easy on you. I suggest that you call ahead to your office and tell them that you’re not going to be making it in today. Tell them that you are having a day for yourself. Tell them that you’re sick. I really don’t care what you tell them. I’ve decided to make you my pet project. I want to see how far you are willing to go to get this phone back. It’s not about the money. This is a lesson in humility.” This man was grating on my last nerve. I felt this desperate need to find him and make him pay for taking something that wasn’t his.

  “I already told you that I will do anything and I mean that. Let’s get on with this. I don’t have all day.” I got off at the next stop in China Town. There were times that I would stop and walk the rest of the way to the office from here. It was a good way to clear my head and to enjoy the fragrant aroma of Chinese delicacies. Pad Thai was my favorite and there was never quite anything like it on the menu. General Tso’s chicken was also one of my favorites. I got stuck in a rut. I ordered from the same place every night. It was the same meal because I didn’t trust the unknown.

  “Before we go any further, I do have to tell you that you looked damn good standing there in your trench coat. I imagined that you were naked underneath it. I suppose you would consider that to be a bit naughty. I don’t care. I’ve never shied away from a challenge and I’m not going to start now. I want you to go to the café at the end of the block. Wait by the phone in the back for further instructions. If you’re thinking that this isn’t worth it then need I remind you that I have your banking history? You left it open. I’ve already bought something from a sex shop on-line that is going to raise a few eyebrows.” I’d always considered my love life to be better suited behind closed doors.

  I never bought anything by credit card. I would always go disguised a little differently than I am every day. I might seem like a pervert with dark glasses and a ball hat, but I felt that a bit of anonymity went a long way.

  “Do I dare ask what you might have bought on my dime? I think that I deserve to know considering you are making me jump through hoops. I can hear in your voice that you’re having way too much fun at my expense. It might be time to reevaluate. I am in the legal profession and I could easily make your life a living hell. I’m not going to involve the authorities. They usually don’t have the manpower to dedicate to these kinds of things. My complaint will be found at the bottom of the stack on somebody’s desk that probably is 2 feet away from going out that door for retirement.” It was better to play along and there was a certain thrill about being led around by the nose.

  “I’m not sure how long this is going to last. It might be just today, but I might want to prolong the agony. You will get your phone back, but only if you follow my directions to the letter. You may not think so, but I will know if you deviate in any way. It bodes well that you don’t want to get the authorities involved. They would only stumble over themselves and wouldn’t give this the kind of time that you would require of them. A lost phone doesn’t even stand up to murderers, rapists and any other number of offenses. As an Attorney, you must realize that the possibility of getting anything back is slim to none. I give you my word and that is a bond that I will not break. You will get your phone back.” I didn’t know why, but I believed him.

  I went into the café and found the closest table to the phone in the back. I called the office and surprised Lisa by telling her that I was taking the day off. She told me that the client had to push back the meeting until tomorrow.

  I ordered a black coffee and sat there trying to calm down long enough to formulate some kind of plan. Eventfully, we were going to have to come face to face. He would lucky if I didn’t give him a fat lip. I could easily sue him and break his back in court by prolonging the procedure for weeks and maybe even months. That would cost him an enormous amount of money and time. It would serve him right.

  I looked around and went back to the cup in front of me with a bit of cinnamon that made it that much sweeter on the lips.

  The phone rang and I jumped practically out of my skin. I put my hand on my heart feeling it thumping against my fingers through the material of the jacket and white shirt underneath. I went over and took it off its cradle. I could feel the sticky remnants of somebody’s jelly doughnut. They didn’t even bother to wash their hands. It was a bit disgusting and I almost dropped it.

  “There is going to be some ground rules. If I sense for even a second that you are going to become belligerent then I will toss your phone into the nearest river. Any hope of ever finding it will be gone. We both know what happens to a phone when it gets wet. It’s possible that you might be able to save some of the data, but the reality is that it would be most likely ruined. Buy a newspaper at the counter and ask for the third one. You’ll understand the reason why when you open to the sports page. I’m betting that a man like you has never even been to a sporting event.” I’d always wanted to go to a St. Louis blues game.

  “I don’t have to justify what I do in my pastime. It’s none of your business.” He was obviously baiting me and I was taking it in a less than jovial manner.” Forgive me, I’m a little stressed and there’s a reason for that. I’m not going to go into my problems. There’s no way that I’m going to treat you like some sort of confidant. It would be nice to talk to somebody, but I don’t have the kind of patience to wait around on a couch with a therapist asking me how I feel about that.” It was kind of cathartic to get something like that off my chest. Even just alluding to a problem alleviated that weight on my shoulders considerably.

  “I find you very attractive. I wouldn’t be putting you through this unless I thought that it was necessary. You are drawn a little too tight. I want to show you that life doesn’t have to be set like some sort of clock. You don’t always have to be on time for everything. I’m sure that you have this humble obligation to the people that you work for. You’re not the kind of man that is going to run and hide from your problems. I may have read too many trashy novels and watched too many romantic flicks on television. I want that inconceivable moment when two strangers meet from across the room.” There was actually something exciting about all of this.

  “There are better ways to
get a date than this. You could’ve just asked me out. You don’t know what I would have said in the moment. Don’t you think that you might be ruining a good thing? It could be that I find this whole ordeal a nuisance and I’ll never want to see you again. Just tell me where you’re at and I can meet you for a cup of coffee.” I was trying to be logical, but I knew that he wasn’t going to budge.

  “I admit that it’s a risk, but it’s one that I’m willing to take for true love. Do I know that this is love? No, but it would be a real story to tell to our grandchildren growing old together on rocking chairs. This would be the story that we told in front of our friends and family as we exchanged vows in a commitment ceremony.” He was really getting ahead of himself and how he could think that we would be a match was beyond me.

  “You’re either a true romantic or delusional. I can’t decide which one it is. I’m thinking that I’ll know the answer sooner than later.” I did buy the paper and I did check the sports page. There was a message. He used words circled in blue ink to get his point across. He wanted me to go into the bathroom and lose my underwear. I couldn’t believe that he was asking for such a thing, but I felt that it was necessary to comply.

  Chapter three

  I felt a little strange walking down the sidewalk without any underwear on. Everything was flying all over the place and there was something freeing about getting rid of that trapping of society. The last time that I had felt anything close to love blew up in my face. He made me feel like we were destined to be together. It was no more than a physical connection. I thought that we could grow from that, but he had other ideas. I cut all of his photos out of my album and deleted every picture that I had on my phone.

  I remembered an explicit video that we had made using my phone. That was the kind of thing that could ruin careers in the blink of an eye. I had no interest in having that information appear on the Internet. It would have been so easy for my tormentor to destroy my standing in the community.