Carter's lips moved up my stomach breathed life into it, and as my desire increased. It took control, and all was lost but the sheer satisfaction of having Landon pull down my zipper, and Carter diving in, taking my dick fully like warm amber glowing, pulling me in while Landon watched with satisfaction, pulling his shirt up. He was a beast ready to be unleashed.
Carter was moving faster now, his head twisting in time with his hand. He looked up, our two souls met, and he flicked his tongue over the head. I jolt up, filled with lightning, and cried out. Then he dove in again. I could feel my cock rest against the back of his throat.
“Have you ever felt so good?” Landon.
“No,” my breathless reply came slowly, filled with the sensuality of the moment. “Oh God,” Carter wrapped his lips around and slurped my cock up. Then Landon threw his shirt onto the ground as he pulled on his dick. He was already hard, jumping up and down, letting thumb run over the head while he used the other hand to slowly pull down his zipper. I could see the shaft creeping out, tufts of hair falling out with it.
Suddenly I felt an urge so powerful there was nothing I could do to stop myself. I needed to feel him, his head poking, then his shaft moving through me. My head lunged forward of its own accord. I used my teeth to pull his zipper the rest of the way down. Then I grabbed his shaft with my lips, pulled it out and took in his full girth, choking, but never fully satisfied, even with Carter's hand caressing me, taking me to uncharted shores, where sex became more than just a primal act, but a sacred one. How could something so indescribably beautiful be anything but an act of divinity?
I was a penitent being initiated in the mysteries of passion and sensuality, learning what it meant to truly pleasure a man, watching as Landon sighed softly leaning his head back while I slipped my hand over the shaft. There was pleasure on all sides, flesh closing in on flesh, while Carter laughed softly moving his tongue over my foreskin.
Suddenly I needed more than just Carter's mouth, I needed him deep inside me, filling me up with every inch of his cock. He could make me whole. If he didn't, I would die without ever knowing what it meant to experience pure rapture. This was but a taste, a desire growing stronger as I felt the pressure of his fingers moving down my taint, closer to my hole. He ducked down and let his tongue follow with him, a wet flame that, when it started moving around the edge, became a shower of ecstatic sparks. Then he moved his finger through, past the temple doors, inside my body faster now. I couldn't stand it. It was too much, yet not enough.
“Yes, yes, yes!”
He'd hit a spot no man had ever found before, pulling out insurmountable waves of raw laughter and sweetness, sending them writhing throughout my pelvis, my stomach then all over my body, like a pool of water, driving me further into my trance as Landon shoved his cock down deep into my throat. He was taking control now, thrusting his hips, his hand gently resting against the back of my head as he slammed into me. It still wasn't enough. I could choke on him for years and still never feel fully satisfied.
Then Carter pulled out. His finger was gone and I was suddenly broken again, a man trapped in an endless spiral of addiction with no end in sight. I needed that cock. I needed it more than I'd ever needed anything in my entire life, not just for the sensation. I needed the gratification of seeing his face when he finally came inside me. My desire took over. He pulled up, teasing the seam of his pants with a wicked grin. I was certain he could read my thoughts, that he knew my deepest secrets and desires. He was enacting them now, as he lowered his jeans, and the curve of his hips, like mountains, and a forest of hair surrounding his cock, a holy relic, a dream come to life. He was already hard, pulling down on his skin, letting it pull over the head. Then he slipped it back over the shaft again, and I lost all composure.
“Fuck me.” I pulled out just long enough to say it.
“No,” he had a wicked grin with his head cocked to the side as he watched Landon slam his cock to the back of my throat.
Carter was still moving his hand over his dick, drinking in my expression. He loved it. He loved seeing the desperation in my eyes, the way my head moved back and forth when he swung it. I needed it. I couldn't help it.
He stepped forward, his cock at the ready, then thrust his hips forward. He was going to do it.
“No,” he shook his head softly.
“Do it,” I pulled out again.
“Uh uh, you gotta take that shit.” Landon grabbed my chin and slammed his cock into the back of my throat. I was choking, frantically reaching for my cock.
“No,” Landon pulled my hand away.
I was going to die. If he didn't give it to me soon, I was going to explode.
He pressed his cock against my hole, met my eyes and moved it around the ridge. “You want this dick?”
I nodded my head, only to get another throatful of Landon's cock.
“I'll bet you do.” He nodded his head with satisfaction. Then he drove through, and I lost all sense of where I was and what I was doing. All that existed was that pressure, the tension, and the wayhe just slipped through. His body moving in time with the beat.
I was taking Landon in while my body swallowed Carter, begging for more. More. I needed it all. I needed it deeper, further inside me, and I needed it now.
The music shifted, and the world became darkness, a soft lilting melody. The tempo increased, drums sounded. Carter was moving so fast I could barely tell when he was pushing in and pulling back. Landon followed suit, back into my throat, over my lips then back again.
Flesh pounded against flesh. Carter's low growl, the sound of his legs smacking against my cheeks, Landon's deep sigh, it all melded with my shuddering sigh, and the world seemed to shake with it. I was lost in the moment, a part of one machine all devoted to that one sacred act of pleasure building towards a climax like the trumpets of angels, a shift in the fabric of space.
Their breath was sounding out, moving so fast now that all I could do was lie back and take it. I could feel it coming, deep inside me. Carter thrust himself in as far as he could go, a soft growl and the world melted away, replaced by single white flare, as bright as the sun, exploding outward in every direction, down legs, up my chest, pulsing with waves of pure bliss that, when they rolled through took over and I was helpless. I had to ride it out. There was no escape, just me gasping for breath so overwhelmed by the shower of sparks that I couldn't handle it. I thought I was going to die trapped forever in that sweet ecstatic moment.
Carter and Landon both threw their heads backs, spewing a hot fountain, filling me fully. Then they collapsed at my side and everything faded.
Chapter 6
I was vaguely aware of this feeling behind my eyes, the antithesis of everything I'd felt the night before, as if all happiness had been drained out of the world, leaving only this deep throbbing pain, both physical and emotional. I opened my eyes and sat up to look around. I was laying in one of their bedrooms, curled up, a ball of shivering sweat and drenched flesh.
Tiny slivers of light, like needles piercing my skin found their way past the edges of the blackout curtains. I slammed my eyes shut, hoping to ease some of the pain, but the movement only made things worse. I was going to have to work through it, and somehow hope that I'd make it out on the other end.
My arms, my back and neck were throbbing, as if I were moving through a field of lava. I just had to get through it. I sat up, my head a blur. Images were flashing through my head. Landon was kneeling over me. Carter's lips were pressing against mine. I must've blacked out. I couldn't remember much else after taking the ecstasy.
What had I done? My whole life I'd prided myself in my moral fortitude. I avoided every vice and trap that came my way. I was the good guy, focused solely on productivity and success. Now I was laying in a strange bed after a night of debauchery and worse, hallucinations. I'd gone against everything I believed in.
There'd be no moving past this fog that clouded my mind and burned my skin. I knew about ecstasy, how it increas
es endorphins to almost unbearable levels, and eats holes in your mind. The damage it does could never be undone. What had I lost? Would I ever stop feeling this way?
I was naked, barely covered by a thin sheet with my pants sitting on the floor. I had no idea where my shirt was, and my phone wasn't in my pocket. I put on my pants and started walking downstairs. The place was completely trashed with burn holes in the dining room sectional, blunts sitting half smoked at the foot of the stripper pole, and of course cups everywhere. I was wading through cups just to get to the kitchen, where Carter was frying up what looked like a mixture of scrambled eggs and tortillas with red sauce that reminded me of blood.
“Chilaquiles?” He held up the pan to offer me a plate.
“Dear God, no.” My stomach heaved and I shut my mouth to hold it in.
“You'll get over it.” Landon clapped me on the back and I surged forward ready to tarnish their marble counter top.
I wasn't going to get over it. That was impossible. This was serotonin sickness. What else could be so overwhelming? People got stuck like that, living their lives in a haze of depression and despair. Now I was sitting reminded of my indiscretions, surrounded by the remnants of the night before.
“I should get going.” I started to get up.
“Don't forget this.” Carter reached under the counter and handed me the duffel bag full of cash, the price for my soul. I should've dropped the cash, ran out and moved onto less dangerous clients, one that wouldn't put me in danger like this, but I couldn't possibly turn them down.
“How you gonna get us off?” Landon asked.
“I thought I already did that last night.” My bitter reply was met with laughter and looks of desire.“I think I can come up with something. Just hold tight. Don't go anywhere, and it would probably be best to avoid having six hundred people here again. You're gonna attract some unwanted attention.
“Shit,” Carter hiked his jeans up, “we ain't gotta worry about nothing.”
I didn't really care. I just wanted to go home and take something, anything just to knock me out until this pain was gone, but a part of me told me that I was stuck like this. It wouldn't matter how long I slept, or what I did. This feeling was never going away.
“Thanks,” I dug my shirt and phone out from under a pile of cups in the dining room. Then I walked out into the sun. it was like an ice pick straight to the face. I wasn't even sure I could make it back to my car.
What was I thinking? This wasn't worth the cash. My knees felt like they were going to give way. The world was tilting, but somehow I made it back to my car where my head crashed against the steering wheel. “Aaaah!” My voice erupted out, my fists pounding the dash.
This had to stop. I had to get my mind right. If I didn't, I was going to go insane. Somehow I made it back home, collapsed on my bed and put my phone on silent. Everything else was going on hold. I needed sleep. I needed it badly, but it didn't come, not at first. I kept seeing their red velvet curtains, flowing down to the ground like a river of blood, and their faces with eyes like daggers staring down at me.
I'd done something terrible. Now I was going to have to pay for it. But the pleasure was undeniable. Their bodies pressing into mine, their hips swinging. I could feel myself growing harder. The sex was amazing, and the drugs, like nothing I'd ever experienced. But the cost was too great.
Chapter 7
I woke up after what seemed like an eternity, certain that my life was over. The pain was gone, but the depression was still there. How could I possibly work like this? I was never going to get ahead, not if things kept on like this. The world had been stained a tinge of thick, impermeable blue. My room was a monument to laziness with a full trash can and a box of takeout sitting on a chair. My life was suddenly a pointless existence.
Now I had the cash. I'd made a deal with the devil, and there was no going back. I was terrified. Those boys were intoxicating, demons that I could never fully exorcise. Every waking moment, as I changed and began to shower, I thought of nothing but them with water dripping down my naked body. I could see Carter smiling down on me as he rubbed his cock, slipping his hand over the shaft, and the way he pulled it over the head. I couldn't help it. I could feel the pressure building up inside my cock, my hole pulsing.
I had to feel it. I moved my hand down my chest, over my stomach and pulled on my cock. Dear God, I still needed them. My hand was moving over it, sending sparks flying, a wave of bliss, and Carter was pounding through me, his hips swinging in time with my hand. I remembered the way he smiled, drinking in my satisfaction. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I felt it. I felt him. I saw the way his mouth hung open, his lips glistening when he climaxed.
I'd never fully escape that desire, and at that moment I didn't want to. All I wanted was to feel Landon behind me while he slammed his dick through, his breath falling down my neck, over my back. He wouldn't be gentle or subtle the way his brother was. He'd use the full force of his being, igniting a fire so hot I'd melt from the intensity.
I could feel something building up inside me. I wasn't ready. I needed to know what it was like to watch Carter move his cock through my mouth, my lips wrapped around it as he sighed softly, taking in that warm presence he'd given me so readily.
I let my finger move back, over my cheeks, and deep into my hole, struck my an image of Landon staring down at me, holding my ankles while Carter knelt down in front of me, lowering his cock into my mouth. I'd reach up with my head, hungrily taking it in, while Landon pushed through, deeper now. Oh, I could feel it. I could see Carter lift his head back, Landon growl and that fountain, a sign of our connection. It was coming.
That pressure was building up, behind my balls, pure energy, ready to surge through me, explode and fill me with satisfaction. I dug deeper into my hole, pushed up, caressing my prostate, and all of sudden I was back there, in that moment. I wasn't imagining any longer. They were cumming now and so was I.
But it wasn't enough. They weren't with me. They were sitting at home, ready to be jailed and I'd never feel that way again. All it did was add another wave of guilt. I thought of the ecstasy, like getting caught up in a celestial whirlwind, with unnatural images and thoughts, things I never thought possible. It was a waking dream I'd never fully leave. My entire life I'd be chasing that one feeling.
I'd been working with drug addicts for the better part of ten years. They were pathetic, rotten sacks of flesh, their beastly forms hunched and shivering, all because of that ravenous, inescapable craving that had taken over every aspect of their life. Sometimes they were good, intelligent people with potential, who'd been made desperate. They were willing to do anything, slit their mother's throat, spend their last time. Many lost their jobs and went homeless after spending all of their money to feed their cravings, and it was never enough. They'd roam the streets, wearing the only pair of dirty clothes they had with greasy hair and breath like rotten meat, while they scavenged for metal and begged for change, but it didn't stop there. They'd get greedy. Once their tolerance was high enough they moved on from begging and scavenging to houses and cars, all because they needed more. That's when they got caught.
It happened to every one of them. You can't pick up a meth pipe or take a hit of crack without getting sucked into that world. Everyone thinks they can beat it, but I knew better. I knew what I was doing. I'd never forget the way it felt when that ecstasy kicked in and my body got moving. I was going to chase the high just like the rest of them, and that couldn't happen. I had to move on, but I couldn't.
It wasn't the drug, not really. It was the boys and what they could do to me, the way they moved through, piercing my skin with their eyes. I couldn't stop. Nothing, not a cold shower, or a bout of revolting thoughts could stop the feeling building up inside me.
I had to get rid of them, but there was no way I could do that, not with that money sitting in my bedroom. The only thing I could do was try to get through it, through the depression and the overwhelming desire, and I h
ad to do it fast, because I wasn't sure I could resist them for much longer.
When I got to the office, Stella stared at me like I was Lazarus come back from the dead. “It has been two days. No phone calls, no emails—nothing. You just left me here. I was about to close up shop and leave. You're lucky I came in today.”
“Sorry,” I ducked my head down ready to slink back into my office and close the blinds. I felt like the sun was right up in my face, burning my skin.
“Oh, no. Don't you walk away from me. Why do you look like you just walked out of a morgue? What'd you do?”
“I've been sick.”
“I'm not buying it. Whatever it is, you get it right. I'm too old to go looking for another job. I should be retired by now anyways.”
“Fine. Just back off me.” My voice was a little too loud.
I went to close the door. “The Ramos brothers called.”
I'm sure they did. “What'd they say?”
“They wanna know what you're gonna do about the case. I told them you'd call them back. What are you going to do?”
“Call them and setup an appointment.” I stopped myself before I went in. There was no way I was going to their house for another round of biochemical Russian roulette. “and tell them to meet me at the office.”
“I don't want those boys here.”
“It's my office.” I shut the door, grabbed a water bottle and guzzled the whole thing down. Then I sat down and let my head fall against the desk.
“Wake up!” Stella grabbed me by the hair and let my head crash against the desk.
“What!?” I shot up out of my chair. “ You can't just come in here and assault me like that.”
“They're here.” She closed the door and walked out.
That woman was going to be surviving off of Social Security if she wasn't careful. I took another water bottle out of the cooler and downed the whole thing, but it wasn't enough. So I tried another and another. My stomach was filled, but my throat was so dry it felt like it was going to collapse in a pile of dust.
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