‘But the world will never dance,’ he whispered sadly, half to himself perhaps; ‘it’s far too weary.’
‘It will follow a leader,’ came the soft reply, ‘who dances well and pipes the true old music so that it can hear. Belief inspires it always. And that Belief you have.’ There was a curious vibration in his voice; he spoke from his heart, and his heart was evidently moved.
‘I wonder when it came to me, then, and how?’
The Vicar turned and faced him where they stood beneath the lime trees. Their scent was pouring out as from phials uncorked by the stars.
‘It came,’ he caught the answer that thrilled with earnestness, ‘when you saw the lame boy on the village hill and cried. As long ago as that it came.’
His mind, as he listened, became a plot of fresh-turned earth the Head Gardener filled with flowers. A mass of covering stuff the years had laid ever thicker and thicker was being shovelled away. The flowers he saw being planted there were very tiny ones. But they would grow. A leaf from some far-off rocky mount of olive trees dropped fluttering through the air and marvellously took root and grew. He felt for a moment the breath of night air that has been tamed by an eastern sun. He saw a group of men, bare-headed, standing on the slopes, and in front of them a figure of glory teaching little, simple things they found it hard to understand….
‘You have the big and simple things alive in you,’ the voice carried on his pictured thought among the flowers. ‘In your heart they lie all waiting to be used. Nothing can smother them. Only-you must give them out.’
‘If only I knew how—!’
‘Keep close to the children,’ sifted the strange answer through the fruit-trees; ‘the world is a big child. And catch it when it lies asleep—not thinking of itself,’ he whispered.
‘The time is so short—’
‘At forty you stand upon the threshold of life, with values learned and rubbish cleared away. So many by that time are already dead—in heart. I envy your opportunities ahead. You have learned already one foundation truth—the grandeur of toil and the insignificance of acquisition. The other foundation thing is even simpler—you have a neighbour. Now, with your money to give as flowers, and your Belief to steer you straight, you have the world before you. And—keep close to the children.’
‘Before there are none left,’ added Rogers under his breath. But the other heard the words and instantly corrected him—
‘Children of any age, and wherever you may find them.’
And they turned slowly and made their way in silence across the soaking lawn, entering the house by the drawing-room window.
‘Good-night,’ the old man said, as he lit his candle and led him to his room; ‘and pleasant, happy, inspiring dreams.’
He seemed to say it with some curious, heartfelt meaning in the common words. He disappeared slowly down the passage, shading the candle with one hand to pick his way, and Rogers watched him out of sight, then turned and entered his own room, closing the door as softly as possible behind him.
It had been an astonishing conversation. All his old enthusiasm was stirred. Embers leaped to flame. No woman ever had done as much. This old fellow, once merely respected tutor, had given him back his first original fire and zeal, yet somehow cleansed and purified. And it humbled him at the same time. Dead leaves, dropped year by year in his City life, were cleared away as though a mighty wind had swept him. The Gardener was burning up dead leaves; the Sweep was cleaning out the flues; the Lamplighter waving his golden signal in the sky—far ahead, it is true, but gleaming like a torch and beacon. The Starlight Express was travelling at top speed among the constellations. He stood at the beginning of the important part of life….
And now, as he lay in bed and heard the owls hooting in the woods, and smelt the flowers through the open window, his thoughts followed strongly after that old Star Train that he used to drive about the sky. He was both engine-driver and passenger. He fell asleep to dream of it.
And all the vital and enchanting thoughts of his boyhood flowed back upon him with a rush, as though they had never been laid aside. He remembered particularly one singular thing about them—that they had never seemed quite his own, but that he had either read or heard them somewhere else. As a child the feeling was always strong that these ‘jolly thoughts,’ as he called them, were put into him by some one else—some one who whispered to him—some one who lived close behind his ears. He had to listen very hard to catch them. It was not dreams, yet all night long, especially when he slept tightly, as he phrased it, this fairy whispering continued, and in the daytime he remembered what he could and made up his stories accordingly. He stole these ideas about a Star Net and a Starlight Express. One day he would be caught and punished for it. It was trespassing upon the preserves of some one else.
Yet he could never discover who this some one else was, except that it was a ‘she’ and lived among the stars, only coming out at night. He imagined she hid behind that little dusty constellation called the Pleiades, and that was why the Pleiades wore a veil and were so dim— lest he should find her out. And once, behind the blue gaze of the guard-girl, who was out of his heart by this time, he had known a moment of thrilling wonder that was close to awe. He saw another pair of eyes gazing out at him They were ambery eyes, as he called them— just what was to be expected from a star. And, so great was the shock, that at first he stood dead still and gasped, then dashed up suddenly close to her and stared into her face, frightening her so much that she fell backwards, and the amber eyes vanished instantly. It was the ‘some one else’ who whispered fairy stories to him and lived behind his ear. For a second she had been marvellously close. And he had lost her!
From that moment, however, his belief in her increased enormously, and he never saw a pair of brown-ambery eyes without feeling sure that she was somewhere close about him. The lame boy, for instance, had the same delicate tint in his sad, long, questioning gaze. His own collie had it too! For years it was an obsession with him, haunting and wonderful—the knowledge that some one who watched close beside him, filling his mind with fairy thoughts, might any moment gaze into his face through a pair of ordinary familiar eyes. And he was certain that all his star-imagination about the Net, the Starlight Express, and the Cave of Lost Starlight came first into him from this hidden ‘some one else’ who brought the Milky Way down into his boy’s world of fantasy.
‘If ever I meet her in real life,’ he used to say, ‘I’m done for. She is my Star Princess!’
And now, as he fell asleep, the old atmosphere of that Kentish garden drew thickly over him, shaking out clusters of stars about his bed. Dreams usually are determined by something more remote than the talk that has just preceded going to bed, but to-night it was otherwise. And two things the old Vicar had let fall—two things sufficiently singular, it seemed, when he came to think about them—influenced his night adventures. ‘Catch the world when it’s asleep,’ and ‘Keep close to the children’—these somehow indicated the route his dream should follow. For he headed the great engine straight for the village in the Jura pine woods where his cousin’s children lived. He did not know these children, and had seen his cousin but rarely in recent years; yet, it seemed, they came to meet the train up among the mountain forests somewhere. For in this village, where he had gone to study French, the moods of his own childhood had somehow known continuation and development. The place had once been very dear to him, and he had known delightful adventures there, many of them with this cousin. Now he took all his own childhood’s sprites out in this Starlight Express and introduced them to these transplanted children who had never made acquaintance with the English breed. They had surprising, wild adventures all together, yet in the morning he could remember very little of it all. The interfering sun melted them all down in dew. The adventures had some object, however; that was clear; though what the object was, except that it did good somewhere to. some one, was gone, lost in the deeps of sleep behind him. They scurried about the world. The spr
ites were very active indeed—quite fussily energetic. And his Scheme for Disabled Something-or other was not anywhere discoverable in these escapades. That seemed forgotten rather, as though they found bigger, more important things to do, and nearer home too. Perhaps the Vicar’s hint about the ‘Neighbour’ was responsible for that. Anyhow, the dream was very vivid, even though the morning sun melted it away so quickly and completely. It seemed continuous too. It filled the entire night.
Yet the thing that Rogers took off with him to town next morning was, more than any other detail, the memory of what the old tutor had said about the living reality and persistence of figures that passionate thinking has created—that, and the value of Belief.
CHAPTER VI
..................
Be thou my star, and thou in me be seen
To show what source divine is, and prevails.
I mark thee planting joy in constant fire.
To Sirius, G. MEREDITH.
And he rather astonished the imperturbable Minks next day by the announcement that he was thinking of going abroad for a little holiday. ‘When I return, it will be time enough to take up the Scheme in earnest,’ he said. For Minks had brought a sheaf of notes embodying the results of many hours’ labour, showing what others had already done in that particular line of philanthropy.
‘Very good indeed, Minks, very good. I’ll take ‘em with me and make a careful study of the lot. I shall be only gone a week or so,’ he added, noticing the other’s disappointment. For the secretary had hoped to expound these notes himself at length. ‘Take a week’s holiday yourself,’ he added. ‘Mrs. Minks might like to get to the sea, perhaps. There’ll only be my letters to forward. I’ll give you a little cheque.’ And he explained briefly that he was going out to Bourcelles to enjoy a few days’ rest before they attacked great problems together. After so many years of application to business he had earned it. Crayfield, it seemed, had given him a taste for sentimental journeys. But the fact was, too, the Tramp, the Dustman, the Lamplighter, and the Starlight Express were all in his thoughts still.
And it was spring. He felt this sudden desire to see his cousin again, and make the acquaintance of his cousin’s children. He remembered how the two of them had tramped the Jura forests as boys. They had met in London at intervals since. He dictated a letter to him then and there —Minks taking it down like lightning—and added a postscript in his own handwriting:—
‘I feel a longing,’ he wrote, ‘to come out and see the little haven of rest you have chosen, and to know your children. Our ways have gone very far apart—too far—since the old days when we climbed out of the windows of la cure with a sheet, and tramped the mountains all night long. Do you remember? I’ve had my nose on the grindstone ever since, and you’ve worked hard too, judging by your name in publishers’ lists. I hope your books are a great success. I’m ashamed I’ve never any time to read now. But I’m “retired” from business at last and hope to do great things. I’ll tell you about a great Scheme I have in hand when we meet. I should like your advice too.
‘Any room will do—sunny aspect if possible. And please give my love to your children in advance. Tell them I shall come out in the Starlight Express. Let me have a line to say if it’s all right.’
In due course the line—a warm-hearted one—arrived. Minks came to Charing Cross to see him off, the gleam of the sea already in his pale-blue eyes.
‘The Weather Report says “calm,” Mr. Rogers,’ he kept repeating. ‘You’ll have a good crossing, I hope and trust. I’m taking Mrs. Minks myself—-’
‘Yes, yes, that’s good,’ was the quick reply. ‘Capital. And—let me see-I’ve got your notes with me, haven’t I? I’ll draft out a general plan and send it to you as soon as I get a moment. You think over it too, will you, while I’m away. And enjoy yourself at the same time. Put your children in the sea—nothing like the sea for children—sea and sun and sand and all that sort of thing.’
‘Thank you very much, Mr. Rogers, and I trust—-’
Somebody bumped against him, cutting short a carefully balanced sentence that was intended to be one-third good wishes, one-third weather remark, and the last third Mrs. Minks. Her letter of thanks had never been referred to. It rankled, though very slightly.
‘What an absurd-looking person!’ exclaimed the secretary to himself, following the aggressor with one eye, and trying to recapture the lost sentence at the same time. ‘They really should not allow such people in a railway terminus,’ he added aloud. The man was ragged and unkempt to the last degree—a sort of tramp; and as he bought a ticket at the third-class wicket, just beyond, he kept looking up slyly at Minks and his companion. ‘The way he knocked against me almost seemed intentional,’ Minks thought. The idea of pickpockets and cleverly disguised detectives ran confusedly in his mind. He felt a little flustered for some reason.
‘I beg your pardon,’ Mr. Rogers was saying to a man who tried to push in front of him. ‘But we must each take our turn, you know.’ The throng of people was considerable. This man looked like a dustman. He, too, was eagerly buying a ticket, but had evidently mistaken the window. ‘Third-class is lower down I think,’ Mr. Rogers suggested with a touch of authority.
‘What a lot of foreigners there are about,’ remarked Minks. ‘These stations are full of suspicious characters.’ The notice about loitering flashed across him.
He took the ticket Mr. Rogers handed to him, and went off to register the luggage, and when later he joined his chief at the carriage door he saw him talking to a couple of strangers who seemed anxious to get in.
‘I took this corner seat for you, Mr. Rogers,’ he explained, both to prove his careful forethought and to let the strangers know that his master was a person of some importance. They were such an extraordinary couple too! Had there been hop-pickers about he could have understood it. They were almost figures of masquerade; for while one resembled more than anything else a chimney-sweep who had forgotten to wash his face below the level of the eyes, the other carried a dirty sack across his shoulders, which apparently he had just been trying to squeeze into the rack.
They moved off when they saw Minks, but the man with the sack made a gesture with one hand, as though he scattered something into the carriage through the open door.
The secretary threw a reproachful look at a passing guard, but there was nothing he could do. People with tickets had a right to travel. Still, he resented these crowding, pushing folk. ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Rogers,’ he said, as though he had chosen a poor train for his honoured chief; ‘there must be an excursion somewhere. There’s a big fete of Vegetarians, I know, at Surbiton to-day, but I can hardly think these people—-’
‘Don’t wait, Minks,’ said the other, who had taken his seat. ‘I’ll let you hear from me, you know, about the Scheme and—other things. Don’t wait.’ He seemed curiously unobservant of these strange folk, almost absent-minded.
The guard was whistling. Minks shut the door and gave the travelling- rug a last tuck-in about his feet. He felt as though he were packing off a child. The mother in him became active. Mr. Rogers needed looking after. Another minute and he would have patted him and told him what to eat and wear. But instead he raised his hat and smiled. The train moved slowly out, making a deep purring sound like flowing water. The platform had magically thinned. Officials stood lonely among the scattered wavers of hats and handkerchiefs. As he stepped backwards to keep the carriage window in sight until the last possible moment, Minks was nearly knocked over by a man who hurried along the platform as if he still had hopes of catching the train.
‘Really, sir!’ gasped the secretary, stooping to pick up his newspaper and lavender glove—he wore one glove and carried the other—the collision had sent flying. But the man was already far beyond the reach of his voice. ‘He must be an escaped lamplighter, or something,’ he laughed good-naturedly, as he saw the long legs vanish down the platform. He leaped on to the line. Evidently he was a railway employe. He seemed to be vainly tr
ying to catch the departing buffers. An absurd and reckless fellow, thought Minks.
But what caught the secretary’s attention last, and made him wonder a little if anything unusual was happening to the world, was the curious fact that, as the last carriage glided smoothly past, he recognised four figures seated comfortably inside. Their feet were on the cushions—disgracefully. They were talking together, heads forward, laughing, even—singing. And he could have sworn that they were the two men who had watched himself and Mr. Rogers at the ticket window, and the strangers who had tried to force their way into Mr. Rogers’s carriage when he came up just in time to interfere.
‘They got in somehow after all, then,’ he said to himself. ‘Of course, I had forgotten. The Company runs third-class carriages on the continental trains now. Odd!’ He mentally rubbed his eyes.
The train swept round the corner out of sight, leaving a streaming cloud of smoke and sparks behind it. It went out with a kind of rush of delight, glad to be off, and conscious of its passengers’ pleasure.
‘Odd.’ This was the word that filled his mind as he walked home. ‘Perhaps—our minds are in such intimate sympathy together—perhaps he was thinking of—of that kind of thing—er—and some of his thoughts got into my own imagination. Odd, though, very, very odd.’
He had once read somewhere in one of his new-fangled books that ‘thoughts are things.’ It had made a great impression on him. He had read about Marconi too. Later he made a more thorough study of this ‘thinking business.’
And soon afterwards, having put his chief’s papers in order at the flat, he went home to Mrs. Minks and the children with this other thought—that he had possibly been overworking himself, and that it was a good thing he was going to have a holiday by the sea.
The Algernon Blackwood Collection Page 67