by Cyndi Raye
Safe.
Only she did not feel safe now.
She felt like a coward.
Shame made her bow her head. “I’m sorry about this morning. I should not have left like that. I-”
Before she could finish, the door opened and a nurse came in.
“Ah, you’re awake. Wonderful!” She came over and Luke moved out of the way so she could fiddle with the buttons on the equipment near Vanessa’s bed.
“I’ll get the doctor,” she said but before she stepped out a male doctor in a white coat stepped inside, clipboard and stethoscope at the ready.
Greyson followed behind him, immediately coming to her side. “Hey, honey. Glad to see you’re awake.”
He laid a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently and kissed her temple.
She looked over to Luke, noting his gaze where Greyson had touched her. Their eyes met and his face became closed off.
Oh no.
He knew about her relationship with Greyson. Or at least thought he did.
It’s not what you think!
She opened her mouth to say something, anything to take away the pain behind the ice in his eyes.
“Good day, Ms. Hughes. I’m Dr. Shai,” the doctor said, pulling her attention to him. He was a young gentleman with tired yet twinkling eyes that said he laughed a lot. “Glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
She had had better days but considering she narrowly escaped death, she would take the scrapes and bruises over that fate any day.
“I’m fine, thank you,” she replied.
“The police are here. They would like to take your statement if you’re up to it once we’re done.” Dr. Shai pushed the small wired glasses up his nose and checked the chart at the foot of Vanessa’s bed.
“Police?” Vanessa asked confused.
“It looks like the yacht’s engine had been rigged with explosives. That explosion was no accident.” Greyson’s mouth thinned into an angry line as he said the last sentence. He gestured at Luke. “Maybe your friend here can give us a better understanding of what happened since the company he works for is helping with the investigation.”
“Let me just make sure you’re going to be okay first, hmm. That’s a nasty cut you have on your head there but it does not look like you have a concussion. Tell me, are you feeling any nausea?” The doctor shined a light in Vanessa’s eyes.
He clicked the tool off but her mind was not on his questions because a nagging sixth sense told her something was wrong.
She looked around the room.
Luke was gone.
Chapter Four
A key was shoved into the front door after many tries.
The sound of metal scraping metal woke the child sleeping on the couch. She was the lone occupant of the space. Pulled from her already unsettling dreams, the sound incited the image of monsters with pointy teeth and long, sharp claws in the child's imagination.
Reality was not far from that picture.
He was back.
The fear-laced thought bounced around the child’s head.
Her little arms and feet kicked into action. She scrambled off the chair, pushing her worn blanket and the torn story book underneath.
If the monster found them, he would take them away. He always took anything she liked away.
“Naughty girls like you don't deserve anything nice.” That was what he had always said.
She would have tucked herself next to the two items but the space was too narrow.
The doorknob turned and she knew time was running out.
She knew it was late. The room was dark. He was meaner whenever he came back at this time.
Left with no other choice, she ran across the space. She slipped once, her long, white nightdress tangling around her feet but kept on moving until she reached the small closet in the only bedroom in the apartment.
The eight year old tucked herself in the space between two boxes in the tiny closet. Her bones poked at her skin, her body tiny and malnourished from years of neglect. Still, she tried to make herself smaller. The closet was not a good hiding place. He found her the last time she hid here.
But in the tiny apartment, there were no better alternatives.
Heavy footsteps sounded, their rhythm irregular as the door creaked open then closed with a bang. She began to tremble and it was not because an insect crawled across her toes. She was terrified of bugs but something more menacing was lurking outside the door.
She could hear him bumping into the scarce furniture. Then there was a loud crash as if someone fell down.
“Vanessa! What did I tell you about leaving all your shit all over the damn floor? Where are you, girl? I'm going to tan your hide.”
The words were slurred but Vanessa knew the reality his words threatened.
Something banged against the wall.
“Quiet, over there. It’s three o’clock in the morning.”
That was Mrs. Peninski from downstairs. She was nice. Sometimes she fed Vanessa when she was hungry.
“Oh shut it, you old hag,” he yelled back plus a few more very bad words.
“Where is that girl? Are you hiding? You know that only pisses me off.” Vanessa trembled harder. Everything she did and did not do made him mad. That was why she learned to stay out of his way a long time ago.
Tonight she was not so lucky. His face - sullen red eyes and lips curled into a snarl - was suddenly there.
Mean hands grabbed and lifted her, hurting her. She did not make a sound though. That would only make him hurt her more. She was brought face to face with the monster that was her father.
He tsked, “You are sure a bad little girl. This is why your mother left us you know. Because of you. Because she could not even stand the sight of you. No one will ever love you.”
Every word was pronounced with a shake and screamed into her face, spittle hitting her.
Her little heart broke and a terrible pain came from deep inside her chest.
She thought she could not possibly hurt any more than she already hurt then.
She was wrong.
He raised his hand and the first lash landed.
She screamed.
***
“Vanessa!”
Someone shouted Vanessa’s name and she came out of the dream with a scream.
Her eyes opened and Greyson was there, his eyes lit with concern.
Sweat dampened the tank top and pajama pants she had gone to bed in. Her breath came in pants, forced through a throat that felt like it was being squeezed.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine. It’s just a dream,” she said, the answer automatic.
She threw off the covers, hating the way they made her feel trapped and tried to catch her breath. Greyson allowed her space as she got out of the bed and went into the adjoining bathroom to splash some water on her face.
In the mirror above the sink, she saw her reflection and grimaced.
Her hair was a disheveled mess. The injury on her forehead was healing nicely but there was still a mess of colors darkening the area around it. Her eyes were swollen and red-rimmed.
Worst of all, she felt dirty but the ick was not physical. She felt mentally and emotionally soiled.
She needed to wash away the memories of her childhood, where she was tormented by a man who was supposed to protect and love her. Vanessa had gotten good at forgetting about that time in her life. She did not want to remember so she learned to tune out the thoughts of back then.
The only thing she could not control was the dreams. The demons followed her there sometimes. It had been a few months since she had one but the stress of the last few days must have acted as a trigger. Stressful situations always did.
The water was hot and felt good on her sore muscles. By the time she stepped out of the shower she felt marginally better.
In her bedroom she donned a large sweater and a pair of thick leggings. Luckily all her stuff had been spared in the explosion because of
the swift action of the fire fighters.
She went into the living room and found Greyson pouring two glasses of water in the adjoining kitchen.
They met in the center and he handed her one of them. By unspoken consensus they went out to the balcony that surrounded the house. They both ignored the man patrolling the yard below them.
They had been staying at a rented villa since Vanessa had been released from the hospital two days ago. With the help of the BKH Bad Boys, the police report had been released. It indicated that the yacht had indeed been rigged with explosives. The device had been crudely put together and likely the work of an amateur.
The target was likely Greyson. This had not been the first attempt on his life since he got into the information technology business.
Greyson was a multimillionaire. His love for computers started early. Just like she used her books to escape her reality as a child, he used the tools.
By the time he was twenty years old, he had built an empire around his love for technology.
Once his success had sky rocketed, he had received death threats and attempts on his life. The reasons ranged from bitter business executives who did not like losing a bid or project to persons trying to steal his trade secret. There was even a guy who thought Greyson was part of some sort of cult using human sacrifices to propel his success and came running at Greyson with a machete in the middle of down town New York.
Greyson and Vanessa sat in the bamboo-lined chairs and looked out at the ocean.
It was about eight in the morning and the sun was already up. It was mostly hidden behind a cluster of clouds though. The weather was cold and dreary, unusual for Boot Key Harbor but matched Vanessa’s mood perfectly.
“You should just tell him and clear this whole thing up,” Greyson said.
Greyson and Vanessa had been friends for almost ten years. They met in foster care. Vanessa landed in the hospital as a result of her father, Frank’s abuse. She had been carted away by Child Welfare Services and Frank had been jailed. Vanessa’s mother had been gone for years and no one knew where to find her
At sixteen years old and new to her fifth foster home, Vanessa met Greyson. The house was crowded yet the two were kindred spirits and gravitated toward each other. Both were victims of neglectful, abusive biological parents.
When they had grown out of the system, they stuck together having developed a pseudo sibling relationship.
A romantic connection was never in the cards for them. She had a huge commitment phobia and Greyson was gay.
His orientation was something Grey struggled with even though he identified his homosexuality early. He was abused and bullied because of it. It was something he worked hard to keep it a secret in his adult life and so enlisted her help to do so.
She started pretending to be his girlfriend five years ago to stifle rumors that started up. It was something she tried to talk him out of. He was a great guy and if others could not accept his preferences then they were not worth his time – that was her option. But she understood how crippling his past fears could be and so supported him.
He insisted on paying her for her time since she often traveled with him – like this trip to Boot Key Harbor where he was meeting with a potential investor - and showed up to business parties and events on his arm, arguing she could quit her dead end job as a waitress and focus on her writing. She had stopped needing the stipend years ago, a successful author now, but still she stayed at his side because he was not ready to show the world who he really was.
She sighed and addressed his earlier statement. “Greyson, stop. We went through this already. It's better this way. Luke deserves better than me. Besides, what about you and our deal? I-”
“You get me so damn mad - putting yourself down like this.” Greyson got out of his chair and began to pace. “I think it’s time we terminated our deal.”
“Grey-” she started but he was not done.
“I saw the way you looked at him at the hospital. And the way he looked at you. I was so panicked when I saw you unconscious that I did not stop to think before I blurted out that I’m your boyfriend. Now I wish I had kept my mouth shut.” He paused then softly added, “It’s time you start living you life, V. This guy might be part of it but even if you choose not to go after him, you deserve better than being a pretend girlfriend.”
“And what about you? I can’t just abandon you.”
His cheeks flushed and he answered, “Actually, I met someone here in Boot Key Harbor. We met a few months ago and reconnected since I’ve been here. It’s early yet but I think we might be going somewhere.” He sat back down and reached for her hand. “We’re a pair aren’t we? Maybe it’s time we both stop hiding behind past hurts and move forward. You need to stop letting Frank win just like I need to stop pretending to be something I am not. What do you say we be brave together?”
She was silent for a while then, “What if it does not work out?” she asked, voice small.
“What if it does?” he countered.
More silence as they both got lost in their thoughts.
Then she knew what she had to do.
She got up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks Grey.”
“Any time, V.”
Inside she threw on a pair of sneakers and left the villa soon after.
She had a Bad Boy to claim.
Chapter Five
Vanessa had a speech all planned out as she knocked on Luke’s door for the fifth time.
She was going to explain the relationship between she and Greyson, beg his forgiveness for running out on him that morning three days ago and hopefully convince him to give a relationship between them another shot.
It would certainly throw a wrench in her plans if he was not here though. She knocked again, mentally willing him to answer her call.
Her wish was granted but every single word she practiced on the way tumbled out of her brain the second he opened the door.
He opened the door in nothing but a white towel that hung dangerously low on his hips.
The force of his appeal hit her again and her breath caught in her throat. Her skin became fevered and her mind became clouded by all those sex hormones she wrote about but never dealt with first hand.
He was holding the cloth up with one hand and pushing his wet hair back with the other. His arms flexed in an impressive display all females above the age of eighteen would appreciate. Water droplets clung to his smooth hard chest and before sliding down into places that definitely left her intrigued.
Clearly he was fresh out of the shower. Given the heat suddenly consuming her body, she was in need of one as well. An ice cold one.
Then her eyes came up to his and her heart ached at the distance in the them - so different from the reverent way he looked at her before.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
There was a hardness in his tone that was foreign, too.
Her desire dampened and she swallowed, nervous once again.
“Can I come in? I’d like to talk to you.” He did not look very accommodating so she added, “Please. Just give me five minutes to let me explain. If you want me to leave after, I’ll do it, no questions asked.”
Luke spared a glanced to the bodyguard seated across the street in a black SUV before opening the door wide enough to let her in. She waved at the guard (Greyson had insisted he accompany her despite the looming threat not targeting her) and he gave a nod.
She preceded Luke inside and when she turned back to him, found him looking at her forehead.
“Are you okay?”
She did not think he realized his stare and voice softened but it sent a spark of hope through her. He still cared. She could work with that.
“A lot better. Thanks for asking.”
There was silence as they both stared at each other. She wanted to say something to banish the awkwardness because the words were jammed in her throat.
He was the one to break the silence. “Let me get dressed. T
hen we’ll talk.”
She watched the flex of his back muscles as he walked away, biting her lower lip. Even though he only went into the next room, she hated the loss of his presence.
She paced the space, pausing near the couch where they fell asleep that magical night. He found her there. Now dressed in a plain top and workout shorts, he looked no less sexy.
“Would you like something to drink?” He did not look at her as he asked, heading to the kitchen.
Enough was enough. She needed to fix this now.
She went up to him, stopping his progress and getting real close. Cupping his cheeks, she applied pressure until he looked into her eyes.
“He’s not my boyfriend. I promise you there is nothing between Greyson and myself but friendship.”
He did not say anything, expression stoic. Unbelieving.
“Please, believe me,” she pleaded, on the verge of tears. She opened her mouth to tell him all of it - the long story of why she and Greyson started this charade - but his arms banded around her suddenly, leaving no space between them.
He buried his face against her neck, breathing heavily.
“Don’t play me, Vanessa. I don't think I can survive that,” he breathed against her skin and she could not hold back the tear that fell on her cheek. She had hurt him.
“Look at me, Luke.” When he did as she asked, she rose to her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. Not a kiss - a promise. “I can’t say I won't make mistakes – I will. This relationship stuff is new to me. I have never been in one. But I promise to always be honest with you. There is nothing going between Greyson and I. It’s you I want.”
She hoped he saw the truth in her eyes.
Whatever he saw there had him leaning down to brush his lips against hers. Side to side. Up and down.
A combination of sigh and moan escaped her, relief and desire coursing through her.
The kiss deepened and exploded with the tension that had been building since the moment they met. He hoisted her up and her legs immediately wrapped around his waist. She knew he was moving but she was too caught up in his kissing to care.