“What were you like when you were younger?” he asks. That is a vague question, and I think back to a time where I can be honest about it, but also, I don't have to dig into something that is still a sore spot with me.
“I was kind of a really independent lonely kid, I guess,” I say with a shrug. “Like, I wasn't a weirdo or anything like that, but mostly I had nannies, or I was shipped off to a boarding school, so I was like a little grown up and didn't have a ton of friends or a need for them, just a few. That's where I met Bethany, the last school I attended. She is my family, as far as I am concerned,” I tell him.
“I am guessing Sergei does not have much of a fatherly instinct,” he said, and I shake my head. No, he does not at all.
“Or the time to care for a growing girl for that matter. My mother died when I was a toddler, so I guess he was a little lost as what to do with me after that.” Seeing it from that point of view, I kind of get it. He couldn't have planned for that to happen. I do wish he was more involved, though, in some way, friendly phone calls once a month to check on me or something. “It's your turn,” I tell Anton just as the food comes out to us. It smells delicious.
“You are right. It is only fair. I think I was the same way. I mean, I did not make many friends either outside of other Clan children. Most of my upbringing was all about how to take over the Clan for my father when he passed, and I ended up doing that at a younger age than anyone had predicted. I was a tough kid, and I think because of my size and lineage, the others were a bit afraid of me.”
I look at him, and I can totally see that, and I am also starting to understand now what it is that draws me to him. Our family history is certainly similar. We are both involved in criminal royalty and it is not an easy position to be in. It made us both a bit hard to handle.
He reaches out as I am lost in thought and strokes my hand, and I look at his thumb, tracing the back of my hand. I don't think I have ever had a man be both protective and gentle, and it feels a bit unreal to me right now. So, I choose to eat and not say anything, mulling all of this over in my brain instead.
***
After lunch, we ended up in the pool continuing our conversation from before, and now, we are both soaking up the sun with a drink in our hand. This is my idea of a date, really. I could do this any day and just relax.
I am laughing at a time Anton is describing getting in trouble at school when I hear a voice drift through the open doors. It is a voice I know all too well, especially with what he is calling me.
“Milaya?” Sweetheart, in Russian, that's what he is saying.
I try to stand up so I can see him, greet him, but I am immediately tugged back down by Anton who I bet is afraid for my safety right now. My father doesn't do most of his business directly with people, so I would imagine Anton has never seen him up close, of at all. He has no idea who this man is who has entered his home.
I look to Anton, feeling my blood run cold like I have just seen a ghost. My father probably qualifies since I haven’t seen him in so long. Not that I am afraid to see him, but this is an odd time for him to finally show his face here, now that things are a little better between Anton and me. “It's my father. He is there,” I explain to Anton who raises his eyebrow in interest.
“I am sorry, I didn't know. Sergei rarely does his own business. He has proxies doing most of it for him,” he whispers to me like he doesn’t want my father to hear that he didn't recognize him. I don't think my father is that deadly, is he? Maybe so. Maybe I don't know the man who gave life to me at all.
I stand back up and see that my father is standing about 20 feet away from me with my step-mother, Katya and a few of their goons, just inside the house. Anton stands up at the same time, and he ends up practically glued to me, his hand wrapping around my body possessively. I don’t really mind it, and in fact, I pretty much expect such moves out of Anton at this point, However, there is something about this, about the way he holds me and looks at my father that feels a bit different than all the other times Anton has behaved this way, I wonder if I should be worried at all.
I lean into him a bit and just let it go, focusing instead on my father who I have a few words for, obviously. I want to know where he has been and why he has not come to my rescue at all before this, hearing the rumors he must have the way Rusev described them. Surely the man would not want me passed around inside an entire Clan from member to member like a whore, right?
“Hello father, Katya” I say at first, greeting them both while sizing him up. He doesn't look like he has changed or aged much. I wonder if money really does buy things, like everlasting good looks. Despite his age, no one would know he had a full-grown daughter by just looking at him. “It took you long enough to come and find me,” I tell him sarcastically, letting him know I am slightly annoyed but still glad to see him, even if it is a little late.
My father laughs, straight up laughs, and I feel the need to shrink back a little. What is so fucking funny? “I am not here to rescue you, Milaya,” he informs me, and suddenly I want to punch him, father or not. It's not like he is acting very fatherly right now.
I think Anton can feel me tense because he tightened his hold on my body so I can’t move at all. I really shouldn't be leaning on my captor as a crutch when my father is here. I thought it would be the other way around, but there I go again, giving men too much credit. “Then why have you come exactly?” I asked as coolly I can manage, though I bet he hears my thinly veiled anger.
“I am here to first remind Anton of what will happen if he steps out of line.” My father trails off and gazes deeply into Anton’s dark eyes. I have seen this look before a few times. I have seen my father scare the shit out of men with that look, Anton stands strong and tall against it, challenging him with his own stare and then a nod. He understands, though I am not sure I do. What kind of deal do these two have that I don't know about? I hate secrets, and it looks like I am about to find out about another one.
“I am also here to congratulate the both of you on your impending union.” There is a glint in his eyes as he says it and a broad smile, a genuine one. Katya smiles widely next to him, leaning against my father. It takes me a minute to register what he means by the word union. He uses such antiquated language. Then, it hits me, union, he means like marriage, engagement, being together, saying vows, and all of that shit. What the fuck is going on here?
I can feel my cheeks turning red with the ferocity of my anger. I can’t believe this man has been gone for so long, knows that I was not only in trouble with one man, but then lost my uncle just to get kidnapped by another, and he shows up just in time to tell me who I am marrying. I don't like this one damn bit, and I pull away from Anton’s hold. I am not dumb enough to think he doesn't have at least a little to do with this.
I begin to go off on him in Russian. I want him to understand how he has hurt me, how he has miserably failed as a father all of this time. Sure, I may be safe with Anton now, or for the time being, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have sued my father at any point, actually acting like my father. Jan was great, but that wasn’t his job. My father has never been there when I need him or when he should be, and it’s just pouring out of me right now. I am so fucking furious, and I am surprised Anton is not stopping him.
“What do you mean that you aren’t here to save me?” I ask him, yelling at him now. “I do not understand how you could have nothing after you heard whatever rumors Rusev told you about what was going on and not come for me. You didn’t call and check on me, nothing. Why would you not be here to make sure that your daughter is okay?” I continue to screech. I know I am going to regret this little fit later, but he missed so many when I was a kid, maybe he should get it all from me now. “And what the hell do you mean about me and Anton being engaged?”
Choosing English over Russian, probably just to piss me off and make it clear that he would rather address Anton than me, he answers me, and I do not like what he has to say. “This arrangement…” he say
s, looking back and forth between the two of us, and I roll my eyes at the word. That is not what an engagement is supposed to be. “Is beneficial for me, and for Anton as well. Why would I ruin a good business relationship over a rumor I was certain was not true? As for Jan, they say he did something unforgivable, I can’t help that,” he says, acting completely innocent, though he is far from it. Not to mention, hasn’t this man done unforgivable things himself? He is one to talk.
Of course, he is always worried about business. I roll my eyes at him again and decide to say nothing else. It's just going to make this worse. At this point, he might as well leave and never come back. Even if I did have a wedding, I am unsure that I would want him to be there.
“Your father and I have been discussing our union privately,” Anton says, coming up to me and trying to put his arm around me again, but I shrug it off. This is not going to diffuse the situation, and I hope he knows that. I don't know which one of these men I am angrier at now. Why would Anton not at least talk to me about this? I get that my father is a powerful man and marrying his daughter without his permission could be scary. I also know Anton could stand to gain from this, even if he does have feelings for me, why not get benefits? But I should be a part of the conversation. We were nearly okay again, and he goes off and does this?
No, he had to go speak to my father behind my back, though. Who is the one committing the bigger sin here; the man who was supposed to protect me as long as I lived, or the man that just swore to protect me against every threat? I would call this whole thing a threat, forcing me into something I do not know if I am ready for, and without a proper proposal or anything. We haven't even said those three words to each other yet,
I turn around and glare at Anton so that he knows what he has done. He has made this even harder, yet again. “Well, it sounds like the two of you have a ton of business to talk about, so don't let little old me get in the way,” I say with a lot of venom before crossing my arms and walking away. I don't need this right now. I don't need my father here if he is not truly even interested in seeing me.
I go to my bedroom and sit on my bed, half expecting one of them to follow me in here, Anton if no one else, but he doesn't show up. I guess they are too busy talking about me and my future yet again, completely without me.
I put my head in my hands and sigh after yet another man in my life has hurt me. Anton is going to atone for this later, or at least try to, but I don't think my father ever can. I don't think he even knows how to be a father, and he doesn't even want to try. It's too late now, anyway. I am a grown woman with scars, inside and out. Maybe I never needed a father. I just needed to learn to rely on myself.
Chapter 16
The mirror of a man’s heart is his actions. - Drdougweiss.com
Anton
I know when Sergei leaves that I am going to have a lot to make up to Natasha. I guess I should have thought this through. I honestly did not expect the man to visit in person without warning and this soon. I thought I would have time to get Natasha back and use to the desires of being with me, and then I could propose to her and let her know I already asked her father for permission. That was how it was all going to go down in my head, but that's not how this is going at all.
Instead, not only did the fact that we are technically engaged get revealed to her by someone other than myself, but she knew before she even had a ring on her finger before we had even spent more than a good 24 hours together without being upset. This is not good, and I know it. So, how am I going to show her I mean well by this? It must look terrible considering I made a business deal by throwing her name out there to her father.
Now that I have talked to him, he seems eager to get all of this underway. I am not sure if this is just because he likes the idea of his daughter with someone who might know what he is doing, as far as the business, or if he wants the money that he gets out of this. For all I know, he could be genuinely happy for his daughter under all of that. I don't think Natasha can see any of that, though. I can see why, since he was a little cruel to her at first. He seems like a distant man, even in business.
What I did get out of this was a date, a wedding date. We set it together. He made sure I knew he wanted it to be soon and to be a big spectacle for his men and all the Clans to come to. It figures, but I am okay with it, Natasha deserves a big wedding. I just hope the bride will actually show up on the day. I would deserve it if she does not.
I go into her room, and I don't bother knocking. I have come in here so many times without permission, I feel it’s a habit. She doesn't protest, but I can see the anger is still there. “I am sorry about that. I really didn't expect him to show up so soon. I meant to get a chance to ease into this. I guess your father doesn’t work that way.”
She scoffs and says nothing else, so I ask her, “Would you like to come to the beach with me and go for a walk? I would love to spend more time with you if you will let me.”
“Are you sure you don't have more business to discuss with my father?” she quips. Fuck. She really is pissed at me. Damn it.
“No, your father has left, but if you don’t want to come with me, I get it. I just thought we could watch the sunset together.” She eyes me and sighs, and I know she is giving in.
“Let me get dressed, okay?” I nod and leave the room. I should probably get into something more suited for this as well. I doubt I am going to fit in too well wearing a button down and slacks to the beach. I think this is all Natasha ever sees me in, but honestly, it feels unnatural sometimes to be in anything else. I am always in business mode, but I think that's my problem. Maybe it is time to show her a different side of me, if I can remember how to find it.
She meets me at the door in a bathing suit, a two-piece that makes her look sexy as hell, and a pair of cut off shorts over her bikini bottom. Hopefully, I can get that off of her a little later.
I take her hand in mine, and we make the short walk to the beach. It is nice to be right here on the water, though, I rarely take advantage of it. This is actually a private beach for the whole high-rise complex. When we get out there, there are not many people out. It is a Friday night, and I suspect most of the people who would come out here are out at bars and clubs in the area and won't be around until the wee hours of the morning. This is perfect for us, of course.
We walk in the sand as it squishes between our toes, and she looks over at me and smiles, almost laughs.
“What is it?” I ask her, and she shakes her head. “No, tell me. I told you that you need to vocalize.” I stop and make her turn to me, and she furrows her brow.
“I don't think I have ever seen you so casual, it’s different. You almost look like some surfer.”
“I am a terrible swimmer,” I say, smiling because she is amused. “I don't think a surfboard is for me, but I am glad this amuses you.”
“Don’t think this means I am not still angry,” she warns me, and I give her a wicked smile, feeling challenged. This is the best part about being with Natasha, I am always on my toes.
I stop and pull her to me by the waist, her hair blowing behind her in the gentle breeze. She looks so perfect out here, like a fantasy creature. I slide my fingers so gently along her hurt cheek once more and then the other cheek before pulling her mouth to mine, tasting her savory lips as I suck them into my mouth. This is the part that I am good at. I am so fucking bad with words, with having the right line. I am not that man, but I know what to do with her body. I know how to show her it is all going to be alright as long as she is in my arms.
I feel her go weak at the knees and I know this is working just the way I want it to. I am so glad to know what happened earlier was a small setback and not the end of our journey back to one another.
“Just because you’re mad at me doesn't mean you can’t enjoy me,” I tell her with an evil grin as I pull back.
“True,” she says, but I hear the breathlessness in her voice. I walk her towards the edge of the water where we can dip out toes in. I n
otice a few hermit crabs scuttling along the shore as we totally submerge our feet in the warm wetness of the peaceful waves. Suddenly, she kicks some water up at me, splashing it onto my shorts. I look at her and see a cheeky smile on her face that I am loving.
I kick back, splashing sea water all over her legs, and then a fight ensues, with her reaching down her hands to spray water at my face and torso. She is laughing as we splash and chase each other in the slippery band at the edge of the water. We are having fun as if we are just children in the moment, and not adults with the weight of the world on our shoulders. I didn't think anyone would ever make me feel like this. Free. I feel free.
Natasha tackles me, and I am off guard as I fall into the damp sand, the smell of salt surrounding me as she lands on top of me, giving me a slow, sensual kiss. This is temptation, and I am going to give in.
I grab her round ass through these barely-there jeans shorts and squeeze and push her into me as her tongue slips inside my mouth. I nibbled at the tip of her tongue gently as I slide my hands down her legs and back up, hopefully giving her a pleasurable chill at my touch.
It is dark now, and all I can hear are the sounds of the animals and sea around us. I doubt anyone would notice if I just indulge in this a bit, the waves crashing over us as they break into shore. I slip off her shorts and lift her up from her thighs so that I can pull her bathing suit to the side. Her beautiful pink pussy is just waiting for me to indulge it once again.
I slip my cock out of my shorts and let it rub against her, so she can feel how hard I am as she looks down on me, her hair a halo around us. I lift her up and then help her sit back down on top of me sliding inside of her as she lets out a long sigh. I grab onto her hips and pull them towards me as she pushes off with her legs on the ground, rocking so that my cock slides deeper into her effortlessly, hitting her G-spot almost immediately. It’s like we have this dance memorized, and yet, it just gets better every time.
The Trade (The Clans Book 2) Page 10