by Simmons, NC
OH SHIT! It IS the end of the world, ISN’T IT?
But I love Lenore! I love her so much. And I have a lot of good reasons why I love Lenore Consuela Maria De La Fuente.
(There I go again. I got myself wet just by saying her frigging name. SHIT!)
Okay… Let me step back… There have to be some pretty damned good reasons why I love Lenore. I mean… This can't be ALL bad, right? Maybe if I just focus on the good stuff I’ll stop freaking out. Maybe I should just think about how great it’s been to be her girlfriend.
Like when I’m with Lenore she just sponges up all my pain and she makes me feel like a frigging rock star. These last two weeks, when we lock ourselves in and we make love, I feel like she’s making love to my whole soul. I feel so ALIVE when I’m with Lenore! I can’t stop smiling when I’m with her!
I have no idea how she does it, but that freaky supermodel climbs into my body, wraps herself around my heart, and puts up a barbed wire barrier against every other pain that tries to break through. She fights off my fears and she protects me like a superhero of love. After getting my ass handed to me in LA last week she did another one of her White Linen, candles, and rose petal treatments on the apartment. That speed-reading liar takes every free minute and makes me feel like the most loved woman on the planet.
So it’s not like I love Lenore just because she’s beautiful, which she totally is. (I mean, shit, I'm in bed with a freaking supermodel!) I love Lenore because she loves me even though I’m a miserable bitch. I can’t trust myself around her sexy body but I know I can trust Lenore to care for my heart like a lover.
When I’m with Lenore I feel whole and healthy and strong. When I’m apart from Lenore I'm a total weakling, all alone in the world and afraid.
I’m a mess with Lenore. I’m a mess without Lenore. Can’t live with her. Can’t shoot her.
I just don’t know what’s happening to me, Diary. Am I over-thinking this relationship? Am I just under too much stress trying to make it through law school and stay on the tour? Should I just live with Lenore, enjoy the fact that we make love every day, love that crazy woman for the rest of my life, and just go with the flow? I mean… No other woman on this planet gets to be in love with someone so beautiful, so brilliant, and so loving.
I guess it might not be the worst thing that could happen if I just lived with Lenore until I died. I mean, if a man never came along, Freaky would be there with me forever. And she’s really hot in bed, so it could be a lot of fun.
But I want a man, damn It! I don’t WANT to be with Freaky forever. I mean, not like wife and wife, that is.
Okay, here’s my prayer…
‘Dear God, PLEASE help Lenore find a man. FAST! Amen!’
Maybe if that super-hot harlot finds a man and falls in love it will let me off the hook and everything else will just fall into place?
WOW! I feel a lot better than I did when I started writing. It’s time for me to stop for now. Thank you, Diary. You’re the best friend a completely screwed-in-the-head, closeted lesbian, tennis pro, law student could ever have.
Whoops…
I just glanced into the living room. Lenore’s in there all naked in our papasan chair. She peeked up at me. She smiled at me, she licked her lips, massaged her tits, and went back to writing in her diary.
She’s coming after me AGAIN! Damn her!
OH SHIT! I looked back out there after writing that last sentence and she swiveled the papasan so I have to look right at her gorgeous, Spanish cookie! Oh… She keeps it so clean and trimmed. It’s so... Oh my God, she’s so delicious…
Now she’s looking into her book but she’s still smiling in my direction. Oh no… She's licking her lips again!
Oh God! She just put a finger in her pussy. She’s finger-fucking her pussy! She closed her eyes and now she’s moaning while she fucks herself. Oh shit… She just threw the book aside! Now she’s pointing at me…”
I’ll have to catch up with you another time, Diary.
Lena.
Nineteen
October 24, 1984
Dear Diary,
So much has happened these past few weeks and I am only now catching my breath. There is so much to tell and so much I never want to forget!
WE DID IT! We finally made love! Lena and I made love and it was amazing! I love Lena so much! My plan worked! Everything worked as I planned and my beautiful Wild Child is finally all mine! We finally own each other’s souls.
I am no longer afraid of being alone. For so many years, I feared Lena would find a man and leave me. Now she is mine and I will never lose her. I love Lena so much! She is the only person in the world who makes me feel this way, as if I am the only person she loves and she will always protect me.
I held myself back through all four years of Paulson but I could no longer do it. Living with my beautiful Wild Child and never being able to make love to her was torture. To feel her skin against mine but never be able to do anything but kiss her and hug her was the longest nightmare of my life.
But now we are lovers! We are lovers and we will be together for the rest of our lives!
I cannot stop thinking about Lena and how sexy she smells and how delicious she tastes! I love the way my beautiful Wild Child tastes! In class each day I often want to touch myself because she is sitting nearby and all I can think about is making love to her and making her have another orgasm. As I sit in class I imagine myself kissing her pussy and feeling her legs trembling against my cheeks. Then I imagine her taste on my lips and I become wet. I must often sneak away to the bathroom between classes to masturbate to help me get my mind back on my studies.
She must feel the same way, because she is always sitting in the next stall masturbating, too!
As I write this, Lena is in the other room at her desk. I think she is writing in her Diary. She always curses to herself when she writes in her diary. She is so funny!
I can see her through the doorway. She is wearing nothing but her panties and a T-shirt and she looks sooo sexy. Dear God, her legs are so powerful. They are so muscular. When I rub her legs I always feel them tremble under my touch. When she wraps her legs around my waist I beg her to crush me. She says I am “sick,” but she does it for me anyway. Ohhh, the feeling of Lena’s legs crushing my body…
I cannot take it any longer! I must make love to her again! I will seduce her!
I have just removed all my clothes. I am now sitting naked in our papasan chair. I am waiting for Lena to look at me. I want so desperately to make love to her again. I know she will look. She cannot resist my seduction.
She looked! I smiled at her. While she looked at me I massaged my breasts and my pussy and I blew her a kiss.
SHE IS MINE! My beautiful Wild Child is mine!
I turned my chair to face her. I am becoming so naughty! I am possessed by love for my beautiful Wild Child. I am masturbating, waiting for her to look at me. I cannot stop masturbating! She makes me so excited!
She will look. I know she will look. When she looks, she will see me putting my fingers in my pussy. She will see me putting my fingers in myself because I am in love with her. She will know that I want HER fingers in my pussy, that I want to feel HER tongue on my clitoris. She will look at me and she will know that I am burning for her. She will see me pushing my fingers into my body and she will know that I want us to do that to each other.
Lena is resisting. My beautiful Wild Child is trying to be good. She is trying to ignore me. But she is only making me bolder. My lover is forcing me to play with myself, harder, faster, louder.
My hand is possessed! I cannot stop it! It is Lena’s hand making love to me! My fingers are her fingers! I feel Lena’s fingers making love to me!
SHE LOOKED! She is coming to me! She is MINE!
Lenore
Part 6
When Fates Collide
Twenty
The annual “Rising Stars, Raising Hope” cancer research benefit at the Waldorf Astoria brought out New York�
��s best and brightest young talent. Four hundred of the city's most promising corporate stars paid $1000.00 a plate to rub elbows with connected up-and-comers. The law firm of Sizemore and Horst organized the event to include a rare wine auction, fetching added donations for the coffers of the featured charity.
One of Sizemore’s (soon-to-be) junior partners pounced on the opportunity to make a front page splash in Shalamar’s latest creation. A single-shoulder, sleek design in solid black, with wispy, gold accents strategically positioned either side of a seductively teardrop shaped, plunging front, it highlighted Lenore’s exotic coloring and Sardi-coached physique. Tantalizing, Lena-loving legs peeked through a right-side, thigh-length slit. As a special touch for the evening, the Wild Child convinced Lenore to pass on professional help and instead gave her roommate a special rendition of her signature do. Lena taught Lenore how to achieve her seemingly random, wholly-by-design, “frizzle-frazzle” style to perfect, captivating effect. Lenore’s long, lickable neck served as a worthy display place for a $10,000, diamond-accented, gold mesh choker.
The Deputy Mayor chatted up Lenore near the wine tasting table. Senior Partner John Sizemore approached to save his prized “closer” from boorish political meanderings.
“There you are, Lenore! How are you holding up? Is Mr. Dresden showing you proper respect? I know how pushy these politicians can be!”
Lenore laughed politely and offered a smile certain to break even the most stalwart male defenses. “Oh, do not worry, John. Taylor has been a perfect gentleman!” Lenore brushed her fingertips along the Deputy Mayor’s arm. He blushed brightly. “I also believe Mr. Dresden is interested in speaking with our governmental affairs practice about possible service opportunities, is that not correct, Taylor?”
The Deputy Mayor, not wanting to disappoint the most beguiling woman in the room, nodded and smiled half-heartedly. “Yes… I’d… I’d love to sit down with you and talk about your offerings, John.”
Sizemore laughed, hearty and knowing, thankful that his top talent fetched multiple times her salary in potential referrals. “Excellent, Taylor! The mayor won’t be disappointed, I assure you!”
Dresden sheepishly raised an index finger. “But… Uh… John… Do you think you might be able to bring Lenore along for the visit?”
Sizemore winked at his gold-laying goose and nodded to the politician. “I think we can arrange something, don’t you Lenore?”
The consummate actress, Lenore tendered her consent. “Oh, John, I am SO fascinated by governmental affairs! I would be glad to come along!” She gestured toward the Deputy Mayor. “That is as long as Taylor is there…” Dresden blushed.
Sizemore clapped heartily and gripped Lenore by the elbow, preparing her for a swift exit. “Excellent! There you have it, Taylor! My secretary will be in touch with you Monday to work up a visit! Now, if you don’t mind, there is someone else to whom I must introduce Ms. De La Fuente. Remember, Taylor! Keep your checkbook handy! My wife is on the prowl for sizable donations!
The host delicately directed Lenore away from the riff-raff, instead targeting her attention to contacts with more lucrative potential.
“Taylor is a nice boy, Lenore, but not nearly up to your standards.”
Lenore bristled at the hint that she had unattainable “standards” or that a lowly civil servant would not be able to meet them. Of course, sharing a heart with the Wild Child meant no man would ever meet Lenore’s standards. Lenore put up a happily hetero front. “Oh, I do not know John. I only have a few, easy-to-meet standards. Loving. Kind. Intelligent. Generous to a fault. A good sense of humor. Of course, ‘tragically handsome’ would not bother me at all!”
“Well, my dear, I suspect the next man to whom I introduce you will fit every one of those criteria and then some.”
The pair weaved their way across the crowded ballroom floor, the senior attorney bobbing his head now and then to spot the next victim of Lenore’s endless charms. “Ahhh… There he is! Over there, by that alcove. Let’s approach by stealth, shall we dear? I want to see his face when he realizes I am attended by ‘The’ Lenore De La Fuente.”
Sizemore thought it advantageous to introduce his secret weapon to Madison Avenue’s most influential brand-builder. For a firm specializing in class action defense, one could never be too connected with those who charted the flow of public opinion. The 6’1”, dark-haired professional in the bespoke-tailored tuxedo had his back to the approaching predators. He stood alone, leaning on a railing, gazing in silence out a window near the back corner of the room. Sizemore reached out and touched the man on the bicep, calling his prey’s name.
“Rory St. Cloud! If you have a moment, I’d like to introduce you to one of our firm’s brightest talents…”
The young executive turned and met Lenore’s bewitching, amber eyes. A tinge of desolation haunted the young attorney as she gazed upon Rory’s handsome face and his unsettlingly melancholy appearance. In an instant, Lenore took ownership of the crushing weight on his heart. Unlike every other man to whom Sizemore introduced her during the course of the evening, Rory seemed insulated, his thoughts shrouded in mystery. Every man Lenore met instantly turned on baiting charm for the former supermodel. Rory St. Cloud behaved in proper, restrained, gentlemanly fashion.
“Yes, John. I know precisely who this is. This radiant woman is Señorita Lenore De La Fuente, one of Harvard’s finest and - I suspect - your new ‘secret weapon'.” The mogul delicately grasped the elbow-gloved hand of the statuesque attorney. Holding Lenore’s eyes throughout, Rory bowed and kissed the back of her hand.
Lenore’s tanned cheeks brightened. Her stoic, guarded nature slipped. She felt warmth flow up from her hand, through her arm, across her chest, and onward throughout her body. Her toes tingled, an experience always saved for the Wild Child’s embrace. Lenore strained to maintain a façade of indifference as her heart melted under Rory’s thawing touch.
“You are not mistaken, Mr. St. Cloud. And… And it is my distinct pleasure to finally meet you, sir. I have heard many wonderful things about your agency and your charitable work!”
Lenore bowed slightly, maintaining regal posture in her form-fitting gown. Once again upright, she held Rory’s gaze. She did not offer her, “I do this because it is what is expected of me,” smile. Rather, it was a warming entreat, springing from a vulnerable and inviting place tucked safely behind her left breast.
The host watched light dance in his young associate’s eyes. Rory did not return Lenore’s smitten admiration, but Sizemore knew a proper match when he saw one. “Well, then,” said the senior partner, “I take it my work for the evening must be done! If you two don’t mind, I think I see Tommy Crispin over there working the wine tasting. I'd better get a handle on him before he consumes all the samples!”
Sizemore strolled away, peeking over his shoulder, watching each young executive wordlessly measure the other’s intent.
Lenore surrendered to the spirit of an infatuated schoolgirl, doing her best not to gawk at the chiseled Rugby regular. Turning back to the window, Rory lightly touched Lenore’s elbow, inviting her to join him as he marveled at the city’s beauty.
Every touch, no matter how insignificant, deepened Lenore’s affliction. Resistance was futile. Her thoughts drifted to seaside embraces and leisurely strolls through Central Park. With a man. With a man she only just met.
“Wild” Who?
They stood side-by-side in silence. Lenore tried to gaze out the window, but found herself glancing out of the corner of her eye at the side of Rory’s face. Even for the self-absorbed half of the Paulson sisters, there was no mistaking the drear of a shattered heart. Rory broke their wordless detente.
“This is a stunning city, isn’t it Señorita?”
“Please, Mr. St. Cloud… Call me Lenore.”
Rory smiled. “Then I must insist, Lenore, that you call me Rory.”
“Then… Rory… I completely agree. This is indeed a stunning city!”
They returned their gaze to the twinkling, concrete canyon.
Romantic scene or not, Lenore could not squelch her nosy instincts. “Rory, may I ask you a personal question?”
“Yes, Lenore. Please do.”
“You seem preoccupied. This party is full of interesting, beautiful people mingling and laughing, yet here you stand, perhaps the star attraction for every woman in the room, spending your time alone in thought, gazing out at the city. Is something bothering you?”
Rory sighed. “I’m sorry, Lenore. I didn’t mean to be a wet blanket. I suppose you are quite used to men chatting you up endlessly, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “My former career unfortunately precedes me. I am afraid my appearance works both for and against me. It opens every door and gains me entrance to events such as this, but it also makes me a target for sadly boorish behavior on occasion.”
A pause. A hesitation. A risk of familiarity floating in the wind. Lenore embraced the risk. “But I am not concerned for myself, Rory. I am concerned for you. It disturbs me to see you so consumed by what must be deeply troubling thoughts.”
“The irony of this evening is not lost on me, Lenore. Here I am with the most accomplished, most provocative woman in the room, yet my mind is elsewhere. I would not take offense if you chose to spend time with someone a little more loosened by the wine.”
The “irony” Lenore embraced was the way Rory delivered the mother of all compliments while breaching the morose depths of a prematurely gray heart. Lenore reached out her hand and slipped it through the crook in Rory’s arm, gently pulling herself to the side of her unexpected chaperone.
“Rory, what is on your heart is far more important to me than this event. I would rather stand in silence for hours with a person whose heart is burdened than to mingle for five minutes with people whose tongues are loosened by wine.”
Lenore lifted the shroud from Rory’s spirits. His heart felt lighter with Lenore at his side. He permitted himself a flattered smile.