by Jordan Ford
Is that what you really want?
You’re smarter than that.
The least you can do is go out fighting.
Fight!
FIGHT!
The voice in my head shouts one more time before fading into the back of my mind.
“Fight,” I murmur. “Come on, Caity. Fight.”
Clenching my jaw, I pull my shaking legs towards me, then press my back against the rock and inch my way up.
It’s so freaking high, but the darkness is helping to hide that terrifying fact.
With slow, cautious steps, I turn sideways and study the rock above me.
Looking up makes vertigo kick in big time. I sway on my feet and gasp. My arm snaps out to brace myself against the rock.
“Ahh!” I cry as my injured arm crashes into the granite wall.
I take a few minutes to breathe, feeling around the dark rocks and trying to figure out how it’s shaped.
But the darkness is beating me. The pale moonlight isn’t enough to risk trying to climb with a gimpy arm.
“Shit,” I mutter.
Closing my eyes, I rest my head against the stone and think of Riley.
I wonder what he’d say if he was on this ledge with me. He’d no doubt tell me not to worry. He’d fill me in on facts, like how the human body can survive three days without water. By then the search party will have found us.
A search party.
Have they already started?
I light up my watch and check the time.
Yeah, they definitely will have. I’m over six hours late. There’s no way Dad would let that fly.
“Dad!” I scream. “I’m down here!”
My voice is swallowed into the midnight darkness.
But the thought that he might be out there looking sends a small thread of hope whistling through me.
“Just keep breathing,” I remind myself.
People have gone missing in these mountains before.
They’ve been found.
If he can get the search and rescue team in, plus the dogs, I might have a shot.
Someone will find Antonio’s car. It’ll give them a decent starting point.
I’m over a cliff face, sure, but if I can stay awake, stay alive… If I can keep my ears open and my mind alert, I can do this.
It’s dark now. They will have stopped looking, but I can make it until the morning.
I will make it.
“I will survive…” I whisper-sing, then let out a breathy laugh and start from the beginning of “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor.
It reminds me of Mom and the way she used to belt out the lyrics as she stumbled drunk around the living room.
But then it makes me think of Dad and how he told me we were going to make it, no matter what.
And then it inevitably makes me think of Riley, because he’s always so close to the surface.
Because he tried to wound me, to no doubt keep me safe.
Because even though he’s left my life for now, I want to see him again one day.
“I’ll survive!” I belt out the song. “I will survive!”
#38:
Love on a Ledge
Riley
I’m tired.
It’s after midnight and my body’s begging for a break.
But I won’t let it take one.
Search and rescue is due at first light.
After only an hour of hunting the woods, Tia called from Kurt’s office saying that an abandoned vehicle had been discovered on the eastern road out of town. Kurt ran the plates and found out the car belongs to an Angelica Mossa.
“Mossa.” I choked out the name, my knees buckling.
I didn’t want to scare Mr. Powell, but holy shit! Did he get her? Did he…
“What’s that got to do with anything?” Mr. Powell’s voice was low and gruff.
I couldn’t hear Tia’s reply, but when he hung up, his tone was wispy with shock.
“K-Kurt’s rounding up volunteers, and an official team will be here in the morning. They want us to stop searching and s-start again at first light.”
I was shaking my head before he even finished his sentence. “I’m not leaving her out here in the dark.”
“It’s helping no one if you get lost too.”
“I’m not stopping!” I practically shouted.
“Hey!” He stomped right up to my face. “She’s my little girl. No one wants to go on as badly as I do!”
“Then why are we standing here yelling at each? Let’s stop fighting and keep going!”
He stepped back with a grunt. “What’s driving you so damn hard, son? Guilt? Love? What!”
I swallowed and couldn’t find the guts to look up at the beam of light he was shining on me. “I told her we couldn’t be together. I didn’t want her getting messed up in my drama. I wanted her to be safe. I…I hurt her feelings…to try and protect her. And now she’s missing, and maybe injured. Maybe this Mossa guy’s done something to her.” I pull in a ragged, desperate breath. “Now I’m safe and she’s not! I’ve failed her!” I choke out my confession. “And you have every right to hate me. I’m a stranger. Nothing but a lying troublemaker. But I care about your daughter.” My voice breaks. “She’s the only girl I’ve ever…” I leave the sentence hanging, not wanting to muddle my brain with declarations of love.
I can only assume that’s what the hollow pain in my chest represents.
The aching need that’s growing with power as the minutes tick by.
“I have to find her, sir. I need to find her.”
After a long beat of erratic breathing from me and silence from the big man, he slapped his hand down on my shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze. “I need to find her too, which is why I’m going to let you help me. But don’t think I’ve forgiven you from dragging my precious girl into yourmess.” With that, he grunted and turned back for the road. “I’ve got all the gear we’ll need at the store. If we’re doing a night search, we better go in prepared. And we should probably start from the abandoned car too.”
I ran after him and he didn’t say another word to me as we raced back to his store.
Trey and Kade were waiting with Tia when I arrived. I don’t know how they found out, but they were loading up the gear and getting ready to hunt through the night with me.
Although the sight of them made me want to weep, I stayed strong and ordered them back to their women.
“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Trey checked the batteries in his headlamp before pulling it on.
“I can’t ask you guys to do this.”
“You don’t have to.” Kade slapped my arm.
Holding out a pack for me, Trey looked to Kade, then Mr. Powell. “Let’s go.”
I swallowed and followed my brothers out the door. Kurt was waiting for us and drove us just over a mile to the point where the car was discovered. Apparently Agent Rybeck had been by to collect Lucca Sorrentino already. He left in a hurry but said he’d be back the next day for interviews.
“What’d he say about Antonio Mossa?” I snapped.
Kurt looked grim. “Not much.”
I huffed and swore beneath my breath, forcing my mind back to Caity.
Before we set off I marked out a map, separating it into grids. Laying it out on the hood of the car, I pointed over it while Kurt held the flashlight for me.
“We’ll walk parallel to avoid getting lost.”
“Keep your radios on,” Mr. Powell spoke over me. “I want communication at all times. Ten-minute check-ins.”
I thought that was a bit extreme, but kept my mouth shut. If he felt anything like I did, he was internally freaking out. He was being held together by sheer nerves…and that’s about it.
It’s now 12:17 a.m. and nerves are still feeding my adrenaline, pushing me past the point of exhaustion.
“Checking in, Ry.”
I lift my radio and answer Trey. “Nothing so far. I’m still heading south.” I shine my flashlight beam to my
right and a few seconds later, spot Trey’s flickering at me.
“Let’s head to the top of this hill and see what we can. Then we might need to meet up again and map out the next section.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “I know.”
Gritting my teeth, I head up to the next section. My flashlight illuminates the forest floor for me. I follow its track and reach the top of the ridge before my brothers.
“Caity!” I shout.
Swinging my flashlight around, I scan the area in front of me. When my beam hits the slope, my eyebrows bunch into a V. I quickly track the light back to what I think I saw, then leap down the hill.
The earth has been disrupted big time around this area: snapped sticks, scattered leaves.
Crouching down, I aim the flashlight over a red stickiness and my heart hitches into my throat. “CAITY!”
I scramble forward, running out of my designated area until I reach the top of a steep embankment.
Beyond that is a harrowing patch of darkness.
My heart stutters—threatens to stop altogether—as my flashlight highlights the skid of debris.
“Oh no,” I whisper. “Please, no.”
I’m about to open my mouth and scream in a blinding rage when a soft tune reaches me. It’s faint and it takes me a second to figure out what it is.
Singing? Tired, croaky singing?
“Caity?” I yell.
The soft tune cuts off. I hold my breath, wondering for a split second if I just imagined it.
But then it starts again, a loud kind of screech. “I will survive!”
It’s coming from down the slope. I run my beam of light across the area and see nothing.
“Caity, I’m coming!”
I don’t know where I’m actually going, but the sound is definitely coming from below me.
Yanking my radio off my belt, I alert my friends and Caity’s father. “I’ve found her. I can’t see her yet, but I can hear her.”
Dumping my pack on the ground, I start unloading the gear.
Footsteps thud through the forest towards me, and soon Trey’s at my side, shining his flashlight over my gear.
“Where is she?”
“Down there.” I point down the slope.
Trey shines his light, sweeping the beam across the empty space. “Where?”
“I’m not sure. But she’s down there. Caity!” I holler.
“I’m here!” I can tell she’s shouting, but her voice is weak.
I clench my jaw, willing myself to keep it together.
“Any sign of Mossa?” Trey sweeps the beam of light around us.
“I don’t give a shit about Mossa. I just need to get to her.”
Securing the rope around the tree, I get Trey to help me with the knots while I pull on a harness and secure it around my legs and hips.
When Mr. Powell said he had all the gear, he seriously has all the gear. The guy must be a search and rescue volunteer or something.
I clip the carabineer into place and give it a jiggle.
“We good?” I check.
Trey gives me a nod and I start inching down the slope just as Kade arrives.
“Where is she?” He’s puffing and I don’t hear Trey’s reply.
“Caity?” I call behind me. “Where are you?”
“Over the edge.” Her voice is hoarse and shaky.
My stomach bunches into a knot and fear has me scrambling down a little faster. The resistance against the rope reminds me I’m safe. I’ll be caught if I slip and fall.
But Caity has no rope.
The thought makes bile surge in my guts.
“I’m coming, baby,” I murmur, pushing myself a little harder.
I reach the edge and adjust my headlamp, peering over the deep precipice. It’s a black hole of nothingness, which hides the height but still has a quaking effect on my limbs.
“Caity?”
“I’m here.”
My eyes snap in the direction of her voice and within a few seconds, I see a hand waving at me.
I can’t see her face yet, just a hand and two legs.
“Hang tight. I’m coming.” Adjusting my grip on the rope, I call up the hill. “Found her! She’s on a ledge about fifteen feet below me! I’m going over the side.”
“Got it!” Trey calls back.
Inching over the edge, I lean my body back and feel the rope catch me. Memories of junior camp rush back. We referred to it as Hell Week. It was like The Gauntlet on steroids, but we all survived and I came away with the ability to rock climb, abseil and a bunch of other skills I thought I’d never need to know.
Guess I was wrong.
I press my boots into the cliff face and work my way down. I take my time, not wanting to disrupt stones and accidentally hit Caity.
“I’m nearly there.”
“I see you.”
I come over the lip and catch a glimpse of her face. She squints against the light in her eyes and I quickly adjust my headlamp.
Resting my toes on the lip of the ledge, I reach for her hand.
“I’m pretty sure my arm’s broken,” she whimpers, holding out her good arm. As soon as our fingers connect, a shaky sob bursts out of her. “You’re here.”
“I’m here,” I whisper. “And you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
She lets out a crying laugh and shakes her head. “I thought you’d left me.”
“I was just trying to keep you safe. I…” My sigh is heavy with guilt. “It’s a really long story.”
She sniffs and nods.
“What are you doing all the way down here?”
Her face bunches as fresh tears fill her eyes. “It’s a really long story.” Sucking in a ragged breath, she pulls my hand to her face and rests her cheek against it. “But you’re here.”
I brush my thumb across her face, avoiding the nasty bruise by her eye. “I’ve been looking for you all night. I wasn’t going to stop.”
She gives me a wobbly smile. “I was trying so hard to believe someone would come for me. I never thought it’d be you. Even though I wanted it to be.”
“I’ll always look for you, Caity. I’ll never ask you to walk away again. I promise.” Helping her stand, I gently nestle her against me. “Wrap your arm around my neck. The guys will haul us up.”
Her arm is stiff and quivering as it comes around me. I can’t imagine the torment she must have gone through, perched on this overhang, in pain, wondering if anyone would ever find her. She’s no doubt been on edge the entire time, scared out of her mind that she’d tumble into that black abyss.
“I’m not going to let you fall.”
She squeezes tight, resting her cheek against mine. Her tears brush my skin and I just hold her for a second.
“I’m never letting you go again.”
She sniffs in my ear and softly whispers, “I love you, Riley.”
And my heart is full.
Closing my eyes, I squeeze her against me and kiss her cheek.
The radio on my belt squawks. “You found her yet?”
“Dad?” Caity’s chin pops off my shoulder.
I quickly press the button, shouting down to the radio on my belt. “Got her. Can you pull us up?”
The rope goes tight immediately and I gently swing us out from the ledge.
Caity gasps and wraps her legs around mine. She clings like a limpet as my family hauls us up the side of the cliff.
As soon as we’re close enough, I reach out and grab the edge, grunting as I use every ounce of strength I have left to get us to safety.
Caity whimpers in my arms as we hit solid ground again. She’s trembling all over and obviously in pain.
“Any sign of Mossa?” Kurt’s voice squawks through the radio.
Caity whimpers and closes her eyes. “He’s gone. Fallen.”
I shudder, and it takes everything in me to hide what I’m feeling. They must have tumbled down the slope together. Clenching my jaw, I sniff in a breath before quic
kly replying to Kurt.
He doesn’t respond. No one does.
I scoop Caity into my arms and walk up the slope.
The guys are still pulling me, making the climb a little easier, giving me a chance to regulate my reeling head and heart.
As soon as we reach the top, Mr. Powell pulls his daughter out of my arms and into a fierce hug.
“Ow!” she cries and he gasps, leaning back with a look only an agonized father can give.
“Broken arm.” Caity winces. “I’ll be okay.”
So Caity. Never likes to make a fuss. She’s got to be the toughest chick I’ve ever met. Which is why seeing her so vulnerable did me in.
Images of her falling off that ledge spike through my mind, her terrified scream fading into the distance.
I rock on my feet and slump to my knees. Fear, relief, exhaustion…and every other emotion I’ve been battling throughout this harrowing day steals the last of my energy.
Kade leaps forward and puts his hand on my back to hold me steady. “Good job, man.” His voice is hollow with mild shock.
“Thanks for your help,” I puff.
“Always.” Trey forces a smile while undoing the knots and starting to wind up the rope. His hands are shaking, giving away the effect this day has had on him too.
Kade hauls me to my feet so I can get out of the harness.
“Lucky we survived Hell Week, right?” Kade holds me steady while I kick the harness off my foot.
Trey snickers, shoving the long cord into my pack. As soon as it’s zipped up, he swings it over his shoulder, taking both my pack and his. “Come on, guys. Let’s get out of here.”
Mr. Powell’s got Caity and he’s carrying her through the woods already.
We trail after him, a line of tired searchers ready for the comforts of home.
Home.
It’s a weird word when you don’t actually have one.
Looking over my shoulder, I spot Kade hiking along behind me, then glance forward to look at the back of Trey’s head.
Caity’s up ahead, secure in her father’s embrace, and I’m struck profoundly by the fact that I am home.
I’m surrounded by my wolf pack, and as long as Mr. Powell will let his daughter stay a part of my life, I’ll be home no matter where I end up.
The thought makes my chest expand in full. Tears glass over my eyes and my nose starts to tingle as I fight them.