“Mr. Tybolt wasn’t at the palace that night. When Nora was coming down the hall, she saw Prince Ezra’s personal assistant, Crosby, leave Renna’s room. I believe the letter is from Prince Ezra; he was just smart enough not to sign his name.”
Mariele’s eyes scanned each word of the letter. Normally, I would compliment you on how beautiful you looked tonight at dinner...I wished you were sitting next to me...I think about spending time with you again. She grabbed at her throat as the meaning of the letter sank in. The room started spinning like she might faint.
Cypress rushed to her side. “My queen! Are you okay?”
“I . . . I . . . can’t . . . breathe . . .” Her words were shallow.
Cypress knelt in front of her, forcing Mariele to look her in the eyes. “Breathe with me.” Cypress sucked in slowly then pushed the air out of her lungs dramatically. “In and out.”
The queen followed Cypress’s every action until her breathing became a little steadier.
“Come, Your Majesty. You should lie down,” Cypress said, shooting a pointed look at Mangum. He sprang into action, assisting the queen to her bed.
“Perhaps we should finish this conversation later,” he said as Cypress pulled the covers back and gently helped Mariele into the soft sheets.
“No. I need to . . . speak . . . to Renna.” Each word was surrounded by deliberate, heavy breaths.
Mangum and Cypress exchanged a glance.
“I think you should rest awhile, Your Majesty,” Cypress said softly.
“Renna. Get . . . Renna.” There was no time. Renna was going to ruin the marriage alliance for New Hope. Bryant would never forgive her. She would lose him again. Didn’t Cypress understand that?
No, she needed to talk to Renna now, even if she could barely find the breath to get the words out.
Mariele closed her eyes, trying to shut out her worry. It only felt like a few seconds, but when she opened her eyes again, Renna was there. She must have dozed off.
“Mother, are you ill?” Renna’s face was full of concern as she knelt by the side of her bed.
Mariele brought her hands up from her sides and wrung them together distractedly. “I’ve had devastating news.”
“What is it? Is everything all right?”
Mariele glanced at her nightstand where the letter sat unfolded and crumpled; Renna’s eyes followed. Recognition washed over her face as she picked up the letter.
“You went through my things?” Renna’s voice was small, sadness falling from every word.
Mariele propped herself up on her elbows, waving away Cypress’s murmured protests. She needed strength to say this. She needed Renna to understand. “Prince Ezra will marry Seran.”
Renna didn’t reply, her eyes focused on the letter in her lap.
“This has to stop,” Mariele said with all the authority she could muster.
“There’s nothing to stop.”
“That’s what you said at Wellenbreck.” She shook her head with frustration. “But now I find out you’ve spent time with him since we’ve been at the palace. Do you deny that?”
Her eyes flicked to the ground. “No.”
Mariele let out a whimper as she collapsed back against the pillows. “This is bad, Renna! What if King Carver finds out? What if Seran finds out?” She grabbed Renna’s arm and squeezed it urgently. “Seran will tell Bryant. They’ll throw me out again. I can’t face it. I can’t do it again.”
“What do you mean they’ll throw you out again?” Renna questioned.
Mariele clamped her mouth shut. She had already said too much—more than she’d ever planned to.
“Mom, what do you mean they’ll throw you out again? Who will throw you out?”
Perhaps it was time to tell Renna the truth. How else could she understand the consequences of falling for a prince?
Renna
The words were hanging on the tip of her mother’s lips, but still the queen didn’t speak. Renna placed her hand on her mother’s arm as though she could prod the words out of her. “Mom, tell me what you’re talking about. Tell me who threw you out.”
Mariele gave a shuddered sigh. “My father was in government, and my family took up residence in the capital so that he could work under King Dayton.”
Renna found herself leaning in, her interest piqued. She didn’t know that her mother had once lived at the Government Center.
“I was only fifteen, and I was in awe of the New Hope Government Center. The wealth, the parties, and especially . . .” Her eyes dropped. “Especially the prince. Bryant was eighteen at the time. We were young, stupid, and after two years of sneaking around, wildly in love.”
Renna swallowed hard. Why had her mother never told her this before?
“Bryant was the younger brother. He wasn’t supposed to be elected king. I was all that mattered to him.”
Renna bit her lip, her nerves rising. She wanted to hear her mother’s story. She wanted answers, but somehow she knew the truth would hurt.
Her mother continued. “Then things started to unravel. Bryant’s older brother came down with a terrible fever. Within a few days, he was gone. King Dayton’s thirty-year reign would be ending in the next few years and Bryant was now the only choice in their family to go after the crown. To help Bryant win the election, King Dayton entered into a marriage contract with the kingdom of Northland. Bryant was to marry Princess Isadora. The walls were closing in on us, and we were desperate. So we made our move and ran away together.” She shook her head, scoffing. “We were so foolish. We had no money, nowhere to go, and no feasible plan.”
So many questions gnawed at Renna, but she let her mother keep talking.
“We didn’t get very far, of course. We didn’t even make it out of the city before a group of guards found us and dragged us back to the Government Center.”
Mariele paused, then spoke again in a quiet voice, as though the memory frightened her. “The king was furious. Bryant had almost ruined his chances in the election and had jeopardized the marriage contract between New Hope and Northland.”
“We told the king how much we loved each other, begged him to let us be together, but he refused. Within a week, he fired my father from his government position and married me off to one of his soldiers.”
“Kimball Degray,” Renna said softly.
Mariele nodded. “To save the prince’s reputation, King Dayton ordered us as far away from New Hope—and Bryant—as possible. The Degrays owned a small farm property on the east edge of the kingdom, and we were sent to live there. At Wellenbreck.” Her eyes pooled with tears. “A couple of months later, Bryant married Isadora. I was devastated. Three years later, he was elected king.”
This was a lot to take in, to process. Her mind spun, but Renna settled on a safe question. “Did you ever hear from Bryant again?”
“Yes. There were letters.”
“What letters?”
“Cypress helped Bryant get letters to me.” She flashed a small, grateful look at Cypress standing at the foot of the bed. “Bryant still loved me, but his brother had died. His family wanted him to be the next king, whether he liked it or not. We couldn’t run away together. We were both married, and he was about to have a child.”
Seran, Renna thought.
“So we wrote to each other, year after year, and hoped that one day we would be together again.”
“Did Dad know about the letters?” Renna asked curtly.
“I believe he did,” Mariele admitted. “But he never said anything to me about it.”
“Why him?” Renna asked, her words clipped. “Did King Dayton just choose my father randomly from a regiment of soldiers?”
“Your father volunteered. Kimball insisted that it was an honor to serve his country this way.”
“I don’t understand.” Renna shook her head, her voice rising slightly. “Why would he do that? Why would he sacrifice his entire life for you?”
“He . . .” Mariele faltered, tears slowly falli
ng from her eyes. “He was Bryant’s friend, and . . . and mine. He wanted to help us.”
Renna’s thoughts whirled. She thought back on her father, how she watched him care for her mother over the years, how he comforted and quieted her during her anxious fits and silently carried her responsibilities when she fell into gloom. Years of this, and all because he wanted to help?
There had to be more. “Was he in love with you?”
Mariele didn’t answer, but the guilt in her eyes told Renna everything. Her father had married a woman he loved to save her, hoping she would love him one day, too. But she never had. Renna breathed in sharply as a stab of pain pierced her heart.
“Renna.” Mariele shifted and reached for her hand, squeezing it earnestly. Renna let her but didn’t squeeze back. “Your father was an incredible man. I appreciated him, I respected him—”
“But you didn’t love him.” A stray tear trickled down Renna’s face—unnoticed and unwanted.
“I loved him with all I had left to give.” Mariele squeezed Renna’s hand again, pleading.
Renna pulled her hand away. “So I guess everything worked out nicely when Dad died.” Renna couldn’t keep the bitterness from her voice.
“That’s not fair.” Her mother’s eyes flickered to hers.
Renna raised her eyebrows in skepticism.
Mariele’s brows narrowed. “I don’t expect you to forgive me for the way I treated your father, but you could try to see things from my perspective. I was heartbroken and miserable for years. I wasn’t good enough for Bryant, I wasn’t the wife your father hoped I would be, and I wasn’t the mother you needed. I was never enough, and I had to face that every day.”
“You don’t have to tell me. My whole childhood revolved around your misery.”
“Yes, I made a mess of things. I put my love for Bryant over everything else in my life, but my circumstances were difficult. I was devoted to Bryant for almost three years before they married me off to your father. How could I ever be expected to love Kimball?”
Renna stared blankly at her mother. Kimball Degray was the best man Renna had ever known. “He loved you,” she whispered, feeling a piece of her sadness for her father drop with a tear. “Why did you treat him so badly? Why couldn’t you love him back?”
“Your father knew what he was signing up for. He knew I loved Bryant.” Mariele’s voice was rising, her words coming out in heavy breaths. “You judge me, yet you are doing the exact same thing I did. Sneaking around with Prince Ezra behind everyone’s backs. But what you’re doing is worse. The prince is already promised to Seran.”
“I’m not sneaking around with Prince Ezra,” Renna said, her defenses rising.
“You’re going to ruin everything!” her mother practically shouted in a haze of panic. “Seran will be furious. I’ll lose Bryant again.”
Cypress rushed to her side, a pill and a cup of water in her hands. “Here. Take this, my lady.”
Mariele’s shaky hand brought the cup to her mouth, letting the water wash the pill away. It wouldn’t take long for the pill to work its magic, and Renna’s mother would be lost to oblivion.
“They said I wasn’t good enough for Bryant. They sent me away.” Her mother’s voice sounded thick like she had to dig the words from tar at the back of her throat. Her eyelids flopped closed. “You’re not good enough for Prince Ezra. We need to send you away.”
“Mom!” Renna wasn’t done talking. “Mom!”
“Not good enough for the prince . . .” her mother whispered before finally letting the drug take her.
“Why did you give her that?” Renna snapped at Cypress.
Cypress glared at her. “Can’t you see what your actions have done to her? She’s having another one of her episodes, thanks to you! My job is to protect the queen. Her nerves needed to rest.” Renna watched as Cypress dramatically threw a blanket over her mother. “You’ve gone too far this time, Renna, trying to get the prince to fall in love with you. You are just like your father, pining after something that isn’t yours!”
So many emotions tumbled around inside of Renna, but anger presented itself first. “How dare you talk about my father. You think because you bring my mother her tea every day that you know all about my parents and their relationship, but you don’t.”
Renna stood, towering over Cypress’s shrinking body.
“I don’t have to answer to you for anything. If my mother wants to see me, she can find me when she wakes up. That is, if you ever stop drugging her.” Renna slammed the door behind her as she left.
Her body slid against the door until it hit the ground. Tears fell freely as her head dropped between her knees. The pieces of her life fit together now, but it was no consolation. She cried for her father, for his hope of a love that was never returned. She cried for her mother’s broken heart and her years of misery and loneliness. And she cried for herself—for the lies told to her and the lies she had told herself.
28
Renna
Applause echoed across the palace’s Great Hall, jarring Renna from her thoughts as the audience stood from their chairs to pay respect to the evening’s entertainment. Clapping her hands unconsciously, she looked around at the performers. They were bowing in appreciation. Renna had managed to zone out during the night’s entire musical performance. Actually, she had zoned out during all of dinner as well.
Queen Mariele had missed dinner altogether. Renna made her excuses, telling the king her mother wasn’t feeling well. Renna wondered what had upset her mother the most—the fact that she had feelings for Trev or that her mother had finally had to reveal her dirty secrets. Eventually, Renna would forgive her mother, but for now, she was grateful for her absence. She needed space and time to sort through her own feelings of betrayal and anger.
Renna’s gaze wandered to Trev, the way it always did, but she only saw the side of his face and the strong outline of his jaw. He was turned toward Seran, giving her all of his attention. Things between her and Trev were changing, shifting, and it stabbed Renna in the heart. Earlier, King Carver had proudly announced to the royal table that the final negotiations of the marriage treaty were finished. The contract was done, ready to be signed. The wedding was two weeks away. None of that should have been a surprise. It had been the plan all along.
For the longest time, Renna held on to hope that she and Trev would somehow work out. She would never admit that out loud, but if she was honest with herself—honest with her heart—she had dared to hope. What a mistake.
After the performance was over, she found herself wandering outside. Fall nights were Renna’s favorite. Her father always said that dusk was the most peaceful time, so she made her way to the flower garden to hopefully find some of that peace. Sadness had inched its way inside her heart tonight, loneliness tiptoeing not far behind.
Renna looked all around, making sure she was alone. Then she tilted her face heavenward as she walked, needing to talk to someone, needing to talk to her father.
“Everything is so messed up. I’m sure you’re looking down on me wondering what I’ve gotten myself into.” She shook her head. “I’m wondering that myself.”
She hoisted herself up on a cement wall decorated with tiled mosaics, feeling the prick of branches against her back.
“I shouldn’t have spoken that way to Mom. I feel terrible about it, but Dad, what were you thinking? How could you agree to marry someone that was in love with someone else?” She hung her head. “You really were the most honorable man, weren’t you?” Memories of her parents’ strained relationship filled her mind. The knowledge that her mother never loved her father weighed heavily in her chest. “How could Mom do that to you?” Renna whispered out loud. “I’d never do that to anyone.” Tears burned at the corner of her eyes. “I was stupid to hold on to some make-believe relationship with Trev.” She bit the side of her cheek, trying to keep her emotions under control. “He’s just so . . .” she let out a breath, “. . . great. He’s fun, happy, kind,
smart, witty, caring.” Her words quieted. “And so unavailable.”
The moon’s light glowed more powerfully, illuminating the sky as the last bits of sunlight faded behind the mountains. Faint stars appeared against the navy night sky. If she tried hard, she could almost feel her father’s presence.
“Please help me, Dad. Help me find a way to forgive Mom and help me get over Trev.”
The sound of crickets mixed with the trickling of water from a nearby fountain lulled her into a comfortable silence. She sat listening, letting the calmness wash over her.
“Well, aren’t you a nice surprise?” Trev’s voice startled her.
The outline of his body walked toward her until he came close enough for her to make out the features of his face. His tie was undone, lazily slung around his neck, and the top buttons of his plaid shirt were loosened.
“How did you find me?” she asked.
Mirth filled his eyes. “I wasn’t looking for you.”
She was glad he couldn’t see her blush. “Of course not. I just—”
“Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to stumble upon you, but I was really just taking a walk. I do that sometimes when I need to think.” He gracefully lifted his body next to hers on the ledge. “What about you? What brings you out here?”
“I was just missing my dad and wanted to talk to him.” She smirked. “He’s a great listener.”
“I bet he is.” Trev’s expression was kind. “What was he like?”
She found herself wanting Trev to understand who her father was. “He was the best. Hardworking, honest, loyal, funny—he would do anything to make me laugh.” Her mood lightened as she spoke about him. “I used to love the silly things he did. He would take a bite out of a banana when it wasn’t even peeled yet. When he cooked spaghetti squash, he put the vegetable strands on top of his head like it was his hair. He had a ridiculous song for every occasion, and he told the same stupid jokes over and over, but I loved it. He used to dance with me in the kitchen. Read me fairytales late into the night. Explore Desolation ruins with me. He was my best friend.”
The Promised Prince: A YA Dystopian Romance Page 20