“Yeah!”
Scrambling off the top of his comforter, he made a beeline for his bookshelves, where he wound up picking out a book entitled Freddie Gets Ready.
“Interesting choice,” she observed, waiting for the boy to get back into the bed. Tucking Jace in, she began to read.
Freddie, it turned out, was a baby dragon and what he was getting ready for, she discovered as she read the story to Jace with all the drama and voice shifts that belonged to a major melodrama, was his first day at kindergarten.
Reading it, Marnie couldn’t help wondering if Jace had deliberately picked the book to help him face the same rite of passage in a few months.
She would have asked him when she came to the end of the story, but when she closed the book Jace had fallen sound asleep.
Smiling, she tucked the covers around him a little more closely, bent over the sleeping boy and lightly brushed her lips against his forehead. Jace shifted suddenly, murmured something and seemed to smile.
Turning, Marnie began to tiptoe out of the room. The very next second, she stifled a gasp when she realized she wasn’t alone. Asher was standing in the doorway, watching her.
Recovering quickly, she crossed to the doorway, then walked by Asher and out of the room.
When he followed, easing the door closed behind him, she swung around to face him and asked, “How long were you standing there?”
There was no hesitation. “Long enough to know that Freddie was going to have a good first day at kindergarten,” he told her with a smile.
Watching her read to Jace had really gotten to him. In all the time that Lynn had forced herself to remain in her son’s life, she’d never once read to the boy, even though Jace had asked her to. Asher had seen more tenderness displayed toward Jace in this single day than Lynn had managed to show their son during the entire time she’d lived with them.
Asher sighed. He supposed that it took more than giving birth and donating genes to be a mother.
“That was nice,” he told Marnie.
She didn’t quite follow his meaning. Was he talking about Freddie’s being happy at the end? “Do you mean the story?”
“No, I mean you reading it to him,” he corrected. “Jace really responds to you.” Anyone could see that, but for now, he was just going to enjoy that and not overthink the situation.
“He’s a little boy,” she pointed out in case Asher’s feelings were secretly hurt because it appeared that his son preferred her to him. “He’d respond to anyone giving him a little attention, making him feel as if he counted. But I’ve watched him. He clearly loves you,” she emphasized.
“I know that.” Even if, at times, Jace drove him absolutely crazy, he never doubted the boy’s love. “I also know how hurt he was when Lynn walked out. Because of you, he’s put that behind him. Thanks for making my son forget about the pain he felt.”
She didn’t want to contradict him, but Asher needed to be aware of something. “Oh, I think he’ll remember for quite a while.”
He supposed that she was right, and that weighed heavily on him. Had he let Lynn go right after the boy had been born, Jace would never have missed his mother because he would never have known his mother.
“Yes, I know,” he agreed, “but it’ll have less of a sting with you around.”
She smiled at the way Asher had phrased that. “So, is that your way of saying that you’re keeping me on?”
“Keeping you on?” he repeated with an incredulous laugh. “I’m ready to adopt you if it meant you’d go on being around—for Jace,” he added quickly, afraid that maybe he’d said too much, given her the wrong impression—or maybe, he amended, the right one, but one that she probably didn’t want.
“Jace didn’t have that bad an idea,” Asher went on, groping his way through a conversation that he was basically winging from the very start.
He wasn’t good at this, he couldn’t help thinking. He’d always been a man who was good with his hands, not with the words coming out of his mouth.
“And which idea was that?” she asked, trying to coax a conversation out of the man. He was very much the strong, silent type, she thought. That had its place, too, but right now she craved a good conversation.
“About you moving in.”
He saw her eyes widen and realized his mistake.
Quick, you’re scaring her off. Do something. Say something. Something smart for a change, he amended angrily.
“As his nanny, I mean,” Asher blurted out.
“As his nanny,” she repeated slowly.
Was he making a point of that because he was afraid she might get other ideas—or was he the one getting other ideas?
And if so, just what kind of ideas was he getting?
He was waiting for an answer, she realized. And his question opened up a whole bunch of other considerations. Ones she didn’t just disregard lightly.
“Let me get back to you on that,” she finally told him.
There was nothing in her voice, one way or another, to indicate whether she was going to take him up on it, or if she even liked the suggestion.
Or had he just insulted her?
When Marnie turned away, he had a sinking feeling that he had scared her off.
Stepping up his pace, he caught her by the arm to get her to turn around again and face him. But in so doing, he caused her to drop the book she was holding.
A book until this second she didn’t realize she was still holding. She’d walked off with the storybook she’d just finished reading to Jace.
She bent down quickly to pick the book up, wanting to return it to his shelves. Asher had the same idea as she did.
The upshot was they wound up bumping heads and nearly knocking each other over.
Embarrassed, a sliver of pain piercing through his head, his hand darted out to steady Marnie and keep her from falling backward.
Succeeding in doing both, Asher rose to his feet, still holding her wrist. Marnie was forced to get to her feet right along with him.
Looking up at Asher as they stood closer than two shadows at midnight, she felt a rush of heat a hundredfold hotter than what she’d felt in her cheeks when Jace had unintentionally suggested she become his mommy.
Her breath caught in her throat and she couldn’t have made the tiniest move unless the earth picked that moment to open up beneath her feet.
Driven by forces that were timeless and far stronger than he was, Asher gave in to the longing that had been his constant companion from the moment he had laid eyes on her.
Certainly from the moment she had walked into his house.
He really had no clear conception of how he went from point A to point B, from looking down into her face to kissing her lips.
All he knew was that he did.
And when he did, all hell seemed to break loose inside him.
Suddenly, just like that, as his lips pressed against hers and he felt a spirited, invigorating force spreading out all through him, the loneliness that had haunted him for the last six months dissolved.
The kiss deepened. Asher filled his hands with her hair, lightly pressing his fingertips against the back of her head as he absorbed sensations he’d been so sure he’d never experience again. It all contributed to the growing feeling of well-being he could feel radiating within him.
Chapter Nine
Don’t, Marnie warned herself even as she felt herself being engulfed. Don’t. He won’t want you to keep coming over if he thinks you have feelings for him.
Stop!
But none of the words echoing in her brain had any effect on Marnie.
She went on kissing him.
And her heart went on singing.
A moment later, the song Marnie heard playing in her head abruptly stopped.
Asher had suddenly drawn back away from her, ending the spectacular kiss they were sharing and with it, the magical moment, as well.
What the hell was he doing? a voice in his head demanded.
Now that his life was finally taking on some shape, some order, did he really want to sacrifice all that because he thought he felt something for this woman? Thought he was attracted to her?
He’d been that route before—and turned out to be dead wrong.
Okay, Marnie was definitely beautiful in a warm, approachable way, but was he reacting to Marnie because he was lonely and it had been such a very long time since he’d actually been with a woman?
Or was his reaction governed by his feelings of gratitude and tremendous relief that his son was behaving himself, thanks to her presence and influence, allowing him to have a little breathing space and get a few things done rather than exclusively devoting himself twenty-four/seven to the boy?
Asher felt he wasn’t clearheaded enough right now to be able to hone in on the real reason that was responsible for what had just taken place. All Asher did know was that for the first time in years, he’d felt both a peacefulness and a warm glow within him just now when he’d held Marnie in his arms and kissed her.
Be that as it may, that still didn’t excuse his rash action. She was his babysitter, for God’s sake, not his girlfriend.
And right now she was looking at him with confusion in her expressive brown eyes.
“Sorry,” Asher murmured, his voice so low it was all but inaudible. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“Oh.” Marnie continued looking at him and then, a second later, she took a step backward, away from him, saying, “Then I guess I’d better take a step or two back from you.”
Asher didn’t understand the connection she was making. “Why?”
The expression on her face was innocence personified. “Because your nose is going to start growing any second now and I don’t want to get in its way. It might get painful.”
“My—what?” His eyebrow all but knit together in an expressive, long, wavy line as he stared at her, completely lost.
“Your nose,” she repeated. Ever so slowly, the innocent look receded, to be replaced by an expression that had a glimmer of mischief to it. “You know, like Pinocchio in the fairy tale. Whenever he lied, his nose would automatically start growing.” Marnie pretended to stare at his nose, waiting. “I suspect that yours will, too, any second now.”
Maybe he should have been insulted, Asher thought, but instead, he found himself being amused. “You’re telling me you think I’m lying?”
Marnie nodded and solemnly repeated, “I’m telling you I think you’re lying.”
He could feel the corners of his mouth curving as the tension he’d felt only moments ago began to drain away. “And why’s that?”
That was a simple enough question to answer, she thought. “You forget, I was on the other side of that ‘involuntary’ kiss, and from where I stood, it certainly didn’t feel as if you just suddenly tripped and tried to break your fall with your lips.”
Since she was taking what had happened so well, Asher decided he owed it to her to be honest. “I don’t want to do anything that would cause you not to come back tomorrow. Jace would never forgive me if that happened.”
She nodded slowly, as if giving his answer due consideration, instead of telling him that what he’d just said was ridiculous.
“I can think of maybe a handful of things you could do to keep me from coming back,” she told Asher. “None of which include what just happened here tonight,” she emphasized.
Time, and dealing with Lynn, had taught him to proceed cautiously and make sure all his i’s were dotted and his t’s were crossed.
Looking into her eyes, he asked, “So you’re not offended?”
Under the circumstances—and the fact that she had definitely kissed back—she found that a very strange word for him to use.
“You kissed me, Asher. You didn’t stand in the town square and denounce me before God and country or call me a whole bunch of names that would completely blacken my character.” She shook her head. What kind of a witch had his ex-wife been, to rob Asher this way of his confidence and self-esteem? “My God, Asher, if I’m out of line here, just tell me, but it seems to me like Jace’s mother must have been some piece of work for you to be this unsure of yourself.”
Marnie was even more intuitive than he’d thought. Also more outspoken. By the time Lynn had finally left, his ego and everything else about him had felt as if it was in tatters.
“You’re not out of line,” he told her, “but I’d really rather not talk about it.”
“Understood,” she told him. The topic was probably too painful for him to relive, and she could accept that. She’d had breakups in her past that she would rather not talk about, too. She could just imagine how much worse it had to have been to go through the breakup of a marriage. “I’ll drop it. But I think you should go out of your way to reassure your son that he is lovable and that his mother walking out on the two of you was in no way his fault.”
Asher surprised her by suddenly taking hold of her arm and drawing her down the stairs, going as far away from his son’s bedroom door as possible.
Only when they were practically standing by the front door did he finally say what he wanted to tell her.
“For the most part, it was my fault, but what finally drove Lynn away was that she just didn’t want to be a mother.”
And that, she could see, could be interpreted as technically being Jace’s fault, that he was the reason his mother had left.
She searched Asher’s face to see if he actually did blame the boy and was relieved to discover that he really didn’t.
She found herself really disliking a woman she had never met.
“Not every woman is cut out to be a mother,” Marnie pointed out simply.
“It was my fault,” he repeated. “I forced her.”
He was really beating himself up about this breakup, she thought. The desire to help him get past this only grew.
“You held a gun to her head and said, have my baby or else?” she deadpanned.
She made him laugh despite himself. “No, but when she told me she was pregnant and wanted to ‘take care of the matter,’” he said, quoting the euphemism Lynn had used, “I begged her not to. I asked her to marry me and have the baby.”
She just had one question for him. “Did you ask her to marry you because of her or because of the baby?”
“Both.” He’d been greedy and wanted both. Lynn and the baby.
Either answer would have been good enough. What he said, in her opinion, was stellar.
“Well, either way, you have no reason to fault yourself, and since it’s both, that erases any fault twice over. You did the ‘right’ thing, the noble thing. And, from what I’ve gathered from the bits and pieces I’ve put together since I’ve been coming over here, you kept on doing it for over three years.” Which, all things considered, made him one of the most patient men she had ever met.
“Lynn tried hard,” he said, feeling obligated to defend the woman who had finally walked out on him, on their son, without so much as a backward glance. He had to give her her due, he thought. It was only right. “She tried for three years, until she just couldn’t try anymore.” Maybe it was all his fault. He didn’t know anymore. “I shouldn’t have forced her,” he concluded quietly.
For a moment, Marnie debated holding her tongue. After all, Asher’s actions, his feelings about his life, were his own business. But she wanted him not to lose sight of one very important point.
Her silence lasted less than thirty seconds.
“Maybe,” she allowed, “but if you hadn’t talked her into having the baby, that boy sleeping upstairs wouldn’t be here right
now, and personally, I think that would have been a huge loss for you.”
She was right, he thought. He couldn’t imagine life without Jace. Still, “Jace wears me out,” he told her with more than a touch of weariness.
“True.” She could see that the boy was a handful, even if he was on his best behavior with her. “But he also makes you smile. I’ve seen it. I think, ultimately, while your ex-wife wasn’t meant to be a mother, you were definitely meant to be a father. There’s a bond between you and Jace. Anyone can see that. And whether you want to admit it or not, your life would be very empty now without him.”
She had insight, he’d give her that.
Asher could feel himself smiling even though he wanted to appear solemn for at least a second longer. “And what makes you such an authority?”
She laughed then, her eyes shining with humor. “Haven’t you heard? I’m very wise.”
Asher looked at her for a long moment. “Yes,” he said without a trace of humor in his tone, “you are.”
If he didn’t let her go now, Asher thought, he never would.
Forcing himself to open the door for her, he said, “Well, it’s late and Jace and I have kept you far too long today. I really appreciate all your help—and your pep talk,” he added.
Marnie crossed the threshold and then turned around to look at him one last time before she drove away. “Did it do any good? The pep talk?” She wanted to know.
“Yeah,” he answered honestly, “it did.” He forced himself to stay where he was; otherwise who knew how long they would linger on the front step? “You’ll be back tomorrow?”
She nodded, then pretended to qualify her reply. “Unless one of the horses runs off with me.”
He took her answer in the spirit that it was given. “One way to prevent that. Keep your feet on the ground,” he advised.
Marnie nodded again as she finally took her leave. “I’ll try to remember that.”
But it was actually too late for that, she added silently. His kiss had seen to that.
* * *
Marnie bolted upright, her eyes wide open and staring. Seeing nothing.
A Small Fortune Page 9